Really seriously did he need to spell it out in banners. He said no that's enough.
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GAF, did I get raped?
- Thread starter Zibrahim
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Not sure how someone can say anything while they're passed out but I get your intent.
Devolution
Member
You're so cool and skeptical.
He said no and then passed out.
I was speaking about everything that happened, not happening at the same time.
But to rephrase for you: When someone says no the way he did and then passes out and the person continues, there is no gray area. It's rape.
If they're passed out in general, you stop.
I think that's the point. You wanted a strong answer with "finality,", but then you also seem to be acknowledging that people can't articulate well when they're blackout drunk.
You shouldn't have to say anything when you're blackout drunk (since, as you say, you typically can't give consent), so the fact that he said anything at all, let alone something as articulate as "let's not do this drunk," is about as definitive and conclusive as you can get.
Ape Gone Insane
Member
Yes, that's unquestionably rape. Though, legally speaking, that's not rape (at least as far as the law here in the UK goes. I don't know what the law says over where you are).
No. He was raped. She took advantage of him while he was passed out AND he had already said no.
I didn't say it wasn't rape, I didn't say "fuck on!" I was just suggesting one possible perspective from her side. But sure, angry mob time...
Why? Seriously. I'm not in the UK.
What angry mob? I haven't snapped at you at all. I'm pointing out why this is rape and that there's no grey here. He said no and then passed out so it's rape.
This is it in a nutshell.
Bay Maximus
Banned
Yeah that definitely sounds like rape to me.
I would definitely get an STI test at the very least.
I can certainly understand the reluctance to report but then you should also consider the possibility of pregnancy. Shitty situation, sorry man.
I would definitely get an STI test at the very least.
I can certainly understand the reluctance to report but then you should also consider the possibility of pregnancy. Shitty situation, sorry man.
No - lawyers, police, psychologists, etc. don't need to learn anything about it.
It is a scary thought.
This also raises the importance of not tipping her off that you feel you have been violated and if you decide to report it. A counter report holds less weight after more time has passed or after she is notified of the initial report.
Winterfang
Banned
But he didn't participated. It happened while he was unconscious, and he told her he didn't wanted to.
If the OP said, I'm going to pass out but feel free to do anything to me, then it would be weird but not rape, but he explicitly said the word no.
Ape Gone Insane
Member
It's just the way the legislation is worded. Along with the rules on consent, the rules only cover penetration by penis.
HUELEN10
Member
In a fair court, the courtroom is a crucible. In it we burn away irrelevancies until we are left with a pure product, the truth, for all time. I say as long as he filed the report promptly and is as detailed as possible and gets all the help and support he needs, he absolutely can prove his violation, and not be liable for anything that might have come from it (possible offspring, STDs, etc).
Zibrahim, although all you see is text on a screen by people you'll probably never meet, know that we truly stand by you. Stay strong.
heliosRAzi
Banned
You were raped. Talk to a lawyer
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
It is disgusting if you put into perspective the consequences that could fall onto him. Pair that with the fact that plenty of people out there wouldn't buy his claim.
So then by UK law women cannot be rapists?
.
Some of the posts in here are really troubling. Rape is rape, no matter your gender. No means no.
Ape Gone Insane
Member
That is correct. They can however be prosecuted for sexual assault.
captainraincoat
Banned
Depends how u feel about it.....to me it seems like you wanted sex and let her put a condom on you while you were awake....I simply chalk it up as a drunk fuck and move on....I have fallen asleep while fucking and the girl never ran off screaming rape...simply talk to her and maybe you can try again sober.
Might seem like double standards but it's very hard to prove you were raped as a guy unless the attacker is a male....A friend of mine was pinned by a fat chick who proceeded to devour his flesh rod at a party for a dare but he was unable to move the immovable object and after the act he was disgusted and felt violated he went to the cops about it a few days later....they laughed and said he should of thrown a cheeseburger to get her off him
Might seem like double standards but it's very hard to prove you were raped as a guy unless the attacker is a male....A friend of mine was pinned by a fat chick who proceeded to devour his flesh rod at a party for a dare but he was unable to move the immovable object and after the act he was disgusted and felt violated he went to the cops about it a few days later....they laughed and said he should of thrown a cheeseburger to get her off him
Broder Salsa
Banned
Sounds like you did.
I get what you are saying, but when someone says no to sex, that means they don't want to have sex and the other person needs to respect that regardless of any assumed implications.
Even if he was saying it for her sake she still had sex with him while he was barely conscious, if conscious at all and that makes her a rapist. Considering that when someone is basically passing out they are unable to make a conscious decision.
OP, if you want someone to talk to you are more than welcome to PM me.
Oh, I see so it's just a semantics thing. That's still messed up though.
The reality is probably not, because the vast majority of rape cases reported do not lead to a successful conviction. Absent bruising or physical marks (or something a jury could see), the odds of success are minimal.
This is all the more reason why, if the OP reports it, it needs to be something he chooses to do for himself.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
What happens if she is pregnant or he now has an STD?
Ape Gone Insane
Member
Yeah, though it can be a very important distinction when it comes to the sentencing stage (sexual assault is the lesser crime IIRC) and the general perception of male rape in society (which raises issues similar to domestic violence against males).
Common law rape in the United States can only be committed by man (and the victim could only be female). Additionally, a man can't rape his wife. But states have statutorily changed or abolished these restrictions.
Winterfang
Banned
Seems like he drank too much, and they started fondling each other.
I know, which is why I thought it would have been updated in the UK as well.
ExplodingKetchup
Member
How does "Let's not do this" = wanting sex? The cop's reaction is why so many people have trouble reporting. Really awful stuff.
Chairmanchuck
Member
What???
True. If he does report it and it turns out months down the road that she is pregnant and she wants to have the baby. OP doesn't have to pay right? He was raped so it wasn't his fault. Or would he have to pay anyway? If the rape report would save him from paying then I would report it ASAP.
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