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[OverHeat]

I just realized that I have not made peace with myself since going to war in Afghanistan in 2010 so I decided to go back in 2030 for my 20 years since going there…Kandahar city is my destination hope to see some beautiful things to erase the bad that I have seen. Just wanted to share this with you guys it’s still far off but I know it won’t be easy. So I need the time to setup everything.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

I just realized that I have not made peace with myself since going to war in Afghanistan in 2010 so I decided to go back in 2030 for my 20 years since going there…Kandahar city is my destination hope to see some beautiful things to erase the bad that I have seen. Just wanted to share this with you guys it’s still far off but I know it won’t be easy. So I need the time to setup everything.

Best wishes to you man. You are a treasure here and I hope you get what you need.

 

[Lunarorbit]

That poor country. Just looking at pictures of Kabul in the 70s... shows you how fast religious zealots can ruin a country.

Same with Iran.

 

[DKehoe]

Hope it brings you some peace.

 

[Tams]

Don't do it.

There are many places in the world you can visit to ease your pains. I don't think you will find what you are looking for in Afghanistan.

Go somewhere beautiful like Bhutan.

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

Wish you the best of luck brother.

 

[OverHeat]

Don't do it.

There are many places in the world you can visit to ease your pains. I don't think you will find what you are looking for in Afghanistan.

Go somewhere beautiful like Bhutan.

I’m going to talk to my therapist Monday…maybe you are right.

 

[Tams]

I’m going to talk to my therapist Monday…maybe you are right.

I'm genuinely concerned about you going.

I doubt most of the locals will appreciate it, and that's somewhere where some not liking it could mean killing you.

I also don't think Kandahar is going to be what you imagine it will. It'll be the same as any poor country, with a nasty veneer of the Taliban.

 

[LordOfChaos]

I hope for some stability and safety there for you by 2030 and you find what you're looking for. There's this youtuber that bikes through a bunch of dangerous places and it kind of challenges a lot of my assumptions, like "oh they don't just pull you aside and kill you?", even though it's still dangerous 99% of them love him just being there

 

[OverHeat]

I'm genuinely concerned about you going.

I doubt most of the locals will appreciate it, and that's somewhere where some not liking it could mean killing you.

I also don't think Kandahar is going to be what you imagine it will. It'll be the same as any poor country, with a nasty veneer of the Taliban.

I was in Kandahar region in 2010 I know what to expect, I guess I just need closure.

 

[EviLore]

You have a big family to take care of and who care about you. If you have to do it, don’t put yourself at unnecessary risk.

I don’t think neatly bowtied closure is particularly real, tbh. There is only continuing to move forward and imprinting good experiences until the bad stuff has less space to occupy.

 

[DKehoe]

I’m going to talk to my therapist Monday…maybe you are right.

Probably a good idea. They can give their perspective and might have other clients who have done something similar and can talk about how it went for them.

You have a big family to take care of and who care about you. If you have to do it, don’t put yourself at unnecessary risk.

I don’t think neatly bowtied closure is particularly real, tbh. There is only continuing to move forward and imprinting good experiences until the bad stuff has less space to occupy.

Yeh I think the idea of "closure" can be overstated. Not to say you just repress whatever might have happened in the past but it's probably best to not expect some single moment that solves everything and instead look to continue to build your life and look forward.

 

[demigod]

Better off saving that money for an RTX 7090, you’ll need it.

 

[RagnarokIV]

Bro I’m not a psychopathist or a brain doctor but my advice is just spend a day wanking like mental. When you end up shooting out nothing but a little ooze of treesap-like goo you will have ultimate clarity.

 

[John Marston]

I just realized that I have not made peace with myself since going to war in Afghanistan in 2010 so I decided to go back in 2030 for my 20 years since going there…Kandahar city is my destination hope to see some beautiful things to erase the bad that I have seen. Just wanted to share this with you guys it’s still far off but I know it won’t be easy. So I need the time to setup everything.

You reminded me of Jeremy Renner's character in The Hurt Locker.

I don't want you to go.
Talk to your therapist about other options.

 

[SlimySnake]

If the Taliban are not there by 2030 then go for it. otherwise, you wont find any closure there. If anything, watching the guys you were fighting ruling the country and essentially WINNING undoing all your hardwork and sacrifice is only going to bring you pain.

That part of the world has other beautiful places you can visit if you want to see beauty in the region. the Hindukush mountains in India and Nepal. Kashmir in India. Pakistan if you really must go near Afghanistan. It's somewhat safe for tourists but id rather you go to India or Nepal.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

I dont know anything about the military and nobody in my entire family tree has ever done it. I know a couple people who I've worked with who did it when they were young before they changed to an office job.

Never the less, there's 3 things I will always support when it comes to how my taxes are used.

#1 Spending money on schools and teachers so kids have a chance at a good education, which should lead to being a good person and helping them with a career later in life

#2 Spending money on universal healthcare. Every country that has it has their own form and coverage, but holistically I believe people should be covered for the vast majority of stuff (Canada has a limited form of it where not everything is covered, but the major stuff is) because I believe most health issues are of no fault of their own

#3 Spending money on military. Not just for gear and weapons for defence, but on the personnel during service and after their service is done. And because they are doing a job where there lives can be on the line doing and seeing dramatic stuff no other person will experience in their career, it's a job sector that should never be dumped on in terms of resources and respect

Do what you need to do Overheat, but best to ya.

 

[TGO]

It's hard just being in the presence of something that reminds you of that experience, which has increased massively due to immigration in the west.
But going back there? I don't know.
I personally don't think it's a good idea.
But everyone is different and wish you best of luck to find peace.

 

[notseqi]

As an adjacent trauma-country for the american people, Vietnam might be worth a look at. Possibly a 50year look into the future of what Afghanistan '''''could be''''' - but in a nice way. Was there for the first time in December last year, amazing people and a functioning country with no threats.

 

[Tams]

As an adjacent trauma-country for the american people, Vietnam might be worth a look at. Possibly a 50year look into the future of what Afghanistan '''''could be''''' - but in a nice way. Was there for the first time in December last year, amazing people and a functioning country with no threats.

I agree.

And go to the north were the Hmong people live. Ha Long bay is great if you can get to some of the quiter parts of it.

Watch Top Gear's special there to get in the mood.

 

[adamsapple]

No offense, but you should probably stay put.

 

[AJUMP23]

I hear Afghanistan is actually beautiful. I hope you can make peace with what you are going through. I would suggest talking to your wife a lot. Many things can change in 5 years.

 

[Raven117]

Look, but for the safety issues, I can absolutely see why you want to do this.

A piece of you died with what you witnessed there. (Or lived, if you want to look at it another way). It was your youth. Your innocence. There was before that…. And after that. I think it’s very natural to feel compelled to visit the grave.

 

[notseqi]

I hear Afghanistan is actually beautiful.

I could do it no problem, but I have no hang-ups there. I didn't do war-type of things - I don't know of them, I have a friendly face and demeanor at all times. Bumbling-traveller type, y'know.
Highly speculative, but I am sure that trying to cuddle up to, welcoming as it may be, a culture that really either didnt like you at all, tried to play their best game which meant fooling you or anybody else approaching, might not be the right recourse for somebody doing a journey on their way to healing.

Single entities or families will always be welcoming you into their homes but you won't do much for them - leave them alone. It might be trouble for them.

I have no insight to OPs situation but if you need a breather, my two weeks in Hanoi did me a world of good after having no quiet vacations to myself for... 12 years.

 

[BigBeauford]

Highly recommend you this video. As a fellow vet who served as a medic in East Afghanistan (Logar) I couldn't possibly imagine wanting to return. That place is hell on earth and will never change. Kudos to the kind people that live there, but you may be asking for trouble showing up there, especially if you are American.

 

[notseqi]

No offense, but you should probably stay put.

If you're always in your head about something you need some diversion, let the mind wander a bit. This is only from a guy planning his yearly vacation like a complete fool and not being able to drop work thoughts, but if it works for puny me carrying my stuff it should work for somebody who is dealing with a lot more, at least to some degree. And then he would have tried something different from the usual therapy/pill cycle which seems to be the norm.