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GAF, did I get raped?

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A

Alienous

Member
That is rape.

You might want to be stern with her, if you aren't reporting it to the police. She needs to understand that even drunk that isn't permissible.
 
D

Dwarven Defender

Neo Member
Zibrahim said:
I can't help but think that if I didn't get that drunk, this wouldn't have happened.
Click to expand...

Don't think like that. Getting drunk does not allow other people to force you or get advantage of your drunken state to have sex with them. In that state you're technically unable to consent (moreover, you specifically said you didn't want to have sex and she still went ahead). You did nothing wrong, she did.
 
B

Brawly Likes to Brawl

Member
Zibrahim said:
Thanks, people. I'm not considering any legal action because I'm still trying to come to terms with what happened. I know I shouldn't blame myself but it's hard not to when I take responsibility for my actions so much. I can't help but think that if I didn't get that drunk, this wouldn't have happened.

She didn't put anything in my drinks and I'm pretty sure she stopped and removed/got rid of the condom because I wasn't exactly performing at my best.
Click to expand...

Just remember that the onus is on her because she decided to keep going after you said no. If the genders were switched this would inarguably be considered rape. Don't listen to anybody that tries to tell jokes or downplay what happened to you. I wish the best.
 
Salvatron

Salvatron

Member
Winterfang said:
I'm guessing pretty much the same, but people will get more angry. Some people will try to defend the rapist, the phrase victim blaming will be use, lots of people will get banned, blood thirsty GAF will demand the person to be raped in jail, the usual posters will be involved, the thread will linger in OT for like a month. The usual.

It's not your fault OP, try to talk to the girl and get the complete story. You have the right to know what happened when you passe out.
Click to expand...

Avoid all contact and go directly to the police.
 
K

Keri

Member
OP, it seems like you're struggling with a lot of the same feelings that are, unfortunately, common following sexual assaults (i.e. confusion and shame). You don't have to have anything figured out right now, but it might help you to find a support group with others who have similar experiences.

You are not responsible for her choices and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Also, it's entirely up to you if you want to report it. You don't owe it to society or whatever, you have the right to pick the course of action that's best for you.
 
W

Winterfang

Banned
Warren Ellis said:
next time if she is hot just give her the permission before you get drunk
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They where to about to have sex but he didn't wanted because he was so drunk. I don't uninvolved sex is something the OP is into.

Even if you got that drunk, she always had the chance to just leave.
 
C

Chuck Norris

Banned
Zibrahim said:
Thanks, people. I'm not considering any legal action because I'm still trying to come to terms with what happened. I know I shouldn't blame myself but it's hard not to when I take responsibility for my actions so much. I can't help but think that if I didn't get that drunk, this wouldn't have happened.

She didn't put anything in my drinks and I'm pretty sure she stopped and removed/got rid of the condom because I wasn't exactly performing at my best.





Correct.



Because I don't like having drunken sex.
Click to expand...
That's a pretty big detail, fucking report that shit.
 
D

Devolution

Member
Drakeon said:
Go to the police and report it now. You don't have to pursue prosecution if you don't want to, but it'll be much easier to pursue it later if you change your mind and do want to pursue prosecution later and they already have a report of the activity.
Click to expand...

Also if she does this to others there's a record of it having been done to you and that makes a case easier for them if someone is a repeat offender and multiple victims come forward.
 
O

operon

Member
Op you said no. No means no. Doesn't matter what gender you are, no means no. Up to you how you want to deal with it.
 
V

Vyroxis

Banned
Yes, you were raped. And yes, you should report it asap. Unless you remember taking the condom off and tossing it, reporting it is the smart move.
 
HUELEN10

HUELEN10

Member
Chuck Norris said:
That's a pretty big detail, fucking report that shit.
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Yeah, on more thought on the matter, you need to; the last thing you need is a burden on you from a possible pregnancy that you had no say on. You need to file a report immediately and stay strong in this case.
 
A

Alienous

Member
slit said:
See this is why male rape victims are not taken seriously.
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To be fair, in not reporting it, the OP isn't taking it as seriously as he should.

It's certainly a murky topic, but this was an incident of rape. The rapist needs to understand the cost of her actions, with the OP confronting her with his feelings at the very least, if not bringing this to the police.
 
K

Kinvara

Member
Zibrahim said:
Thanks, people. I'm not considering any legal action because I'm still trying to come to terms with what happened. I know I shouldn't blame myself but it's hard not to when I take responsibility for my actions so much. I can't help but think that if I didn't get that drunk, this wouldn't have happened.
Click to expand...

It's never your fault.

A lot of victims place the blame on themselves like if they had done something differently they wouldn't have gotten raped.

You did nothing wrong. She took advantage of you.

I know you're probably confused right now but she should face legal consequences for what she did. It's more than likely that she has or she will assault someone else.
 
G

Gartooth

Member
Seek the guidance / counseling of your closest family and friends. You shouldn't let the stress and trauma of something like this well up inside you.
 
W

Wazzy

Banned
OP I'm sorry to hear what happened. That was definitely rape.

Please don't blame yourself. Someone took advantage of you and that's on them.
 
Ingeniero

Ingeniero

Member
I'm sorry that this happened to you OP.
Were you in your apartment or her's?
Was she laying next to you when you woked up?
 
V

Vashetti

Banned
Warren Ellis said:
next time if she is hot just give her the permission before you get drunk
Click to expand...

anigif_enhanced-buzz-20908-1363185894-4.gif
 
S

slit

Member
Alienous said:
To be fair, in not reporting it, the OP isn't taking it as seriously as he should.

It's certainly a murky topic, but this was an incident of rape. The rapist needs to understand the cost of her actions, with the OP confronting her with his feelings at the very least, if not bringing this to the police.
Click to expand...

No, I'm being fair. There are women who have trouble with reporting it too. That doesn't mean he's not taking it seriously. He may not be sure if that's the right course of action. He may be confused.
 
Salvatron

Salvatron

Member
OP, if you have a close friend or family member, I would encourage you to tell them about the incident and see if they'll accompany you when reporting. Can help to have some support.
 
P

Prologue

Member
Kinvara said:
It's never your fault.

A lot of victims place the blame on themselves like if they had done something differently they wouldn't have gotten raped.

You did nothing wrong. She took advantage of you.

I know you're probably confused right now but she should face legal consequences for what she did. It's more than likely that she has or she will assault someone else.
Click to expand...

Why should a person drink to the point of not be able to get off the bed?

I'm not putting blame on the op, I'm just asking a general question. As I said in my previous post, report the girl.
 
Y

Yagharek

Member
I'd also say the test of if it's rape is twofold

1. Did you consent? No? Then it's rape.
2. Are you uncomfortable about it? Yes? Then it's rape.

Also, to reiterate : get an std check especially for a baseline asap.
 
HUELEN10

HUELEN10

Member
Salvatron said:
OP, if you have a close friend or family member, I would encourage you to tell them about the incident and see if they'll accompany you when reporting. Can help to have some support.
Click to expand...
This.

And if you can't for some reason, tell the officer to be patient with you as you are emotionally compromised; they will understand and give you the time you need at the station. But yeah, there's no doubt at all; you have to file that report. Don't worry about what's gonna happen to you or her, that's not something to think about right now.

Stay strong man, you did nothing wrong.
 
W

Winterfang

Banned
At the very least make it very clear to the girl that this is not OK. And just because you are a man, doesn't mean you are always ready to have sex, specially against your will.

However by no means or circumstance should you keep quiet about this. You will only feel guiltier, you need to heal.
 
P

Phaethon0017

Member
Dwarven Defender said:
I'd go to the police.

Even if they tell you they can't do anything, your complaint will be registered. You don't know what happened, as far as you know, she could have even used you to get herself pregnant. So, just for it to get registered, tell the police, make a declaration, something.

And don't talk to her again.
Click to expand...

This. If you're having trouble remembering, it could have broken, been removed, etc. If she comes back with a kid and you didn't even want the sex it's kind of a rude awakening.

EDIT: And maybe get yourself tested, who knows these days.
 
U

User 100115

Banned
slit said:
No, I'm being fair. There are women who have trouble with reporting it too. That doesn't mean he's not taking it seriously. He may not be sure if that's the right course of action. He may be confused.
Click to expand...

This. Most women don't report rape because of how they are treated, male victims get it just as bad. OP will decide if its the right course of action.

OP, so sorry this happened. GAF is here for you.
 
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