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Is it important that your partner change his/her last name when you get married?

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L

LittleBoots

Member
What is your opinion on the matter? Is it important to you? Or is it important to you that you change your last name when you marry your significant other? My fiance and I are signing papers and getting married at the end of the year. We plan on having a formal ceremony the following year. I told him that I'd rather just keep my own last name, because I like it. I feel that it sounds more unique. My first name doesn't rhyme with his last name, or anything goofy like that. I don't really want to hyphenate his last name with mine either.

I asked him why he wants me to take his last name, and he said because it would make it feel more like a family to him. I guess it seems more real to him? That's all he would say for reasoning. I don't think he should really care that much. I doubt I'll change my mind.
 
P

Platy

Member
I even prefer if everyone keeps their names.

Weird dated mess that only gets more complications and bureocracy
 
C

ClosingADoor

Member
I'd prefer it probably, because I'm used to it. But if my partner wanted to keep her last name, that's also fine. I'm not going to try and convince her about it if it means a lot to her.
 
H

hawk2025

Member
*Zero* importance.

I got over the male dominance thing when I was 13. Ask him to take your name instead, and see how he reacts.
 
N

Nothing1016

Member
I don't care either way. If my significant other wants to keep her last name, then sure. If she wants to change her last name to mine, then sure. If she wants me to change it to her last name, then sure.

My last name has absolutely zero effect on my happiness.
 
H

Hilbert

Deep into his 30th decade
I told my wife she didn't need to change her name to match mine. She after all has a history and a family and an identity under that name.

Her last name wasn't a great word in english though, I think she couldn't wait to change it.
 
S

StoOgE

First tragedy, then farce.
My wife kept her maiden name.

I told her to do what she wanted. It was her name not mine, and it's sort of weird that your identity and name have to change after 30.

I wouldn't do it.

Beyond that, its obviously horribly sexist that your wife literally takes your name.
 
QuantumZebra

QuantumZebra

Member
Savitar said:
We marry, she takes my name.

Simple as that.
Click to expand...

Why does your name take precedence over hers?

--

OP: I offered to take my wife's last name - but she wanted to use mine because it sounded better to her and is a more unique name (hers was Smith, lol)

I think any man that insists on his wife taking his name has inadequacy, sexist, and/or dominance issues.
 
J

JimmyRustler

Member
If my future wife has a cool last name, I'm willing to take it. I have no bonds to my last name. My alcoholic grandfather made sure of that. Nothing lost if it isn't passed on.
 
S

Septimus Prime

Member
I think it would be nice, but it's kind of a huge pain in the ass for the woman, since there's a ton of stuff she'll need to do. I suggest putting it down on the wedding certificate, though, so you have the option to use either.
 
S

Shaanyboi

Banned
No.

My gf says she wants to, but I couldn't care less. If anything, she's better off not doing so. Last name is Khan, that's only going to cause complications for her.
 
A

Africanus

Member
She can keep her maiden name, just as I will keep mine.

The problem is children. Sure hyphen works initially, but 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc it gets messy. I wish there were an easy way to maintain both last names. We can say middle-last for them, but I want both to be easily visible and representable.
 
L

LittleBoots

Member
Septimus Prime said:
I think it would be nice, but it's kind of a huge pain in the ass for the woman, since there's a ton of stuff she'll need to do. I suggest putting it down on the wedding certificate, though, so you have the option to use either.
Click to expand...
Not a bad suggestion. But it's true. It gets really confusing pretty fast when changing your last name.
 
dc3k

dc3k

Member
I don't get the point of changing a last name. Seems like a pain in the ass with no real benefit.
 
H

Hypron

Member
I really like my family name and wouldn't like to change it, so I wouldn't expect a potential partner to change hers either.
 
K

Knuckle Sandwich

Member
How about a hyphen? Or just make up a new family name together and change both your names to that.

My wife took my name because she believes in that tradition. I didn't really care.
 
S

StylesClash

Member
I wanted to take my wife's last name but it seemed like a hassle so we just kept our names. Any man that insists his wife takes his last name is not a real man. It should be a choice.
 
S

Savitar

Member
QuantumZebra said:
Why does your name take precedence over hers?

--

OP: I offered to take my wife's last name - but she wanted to use mine because it sounded better to her and is a more unique name (hers was Smith, lol)

I think any man that insists on his wife taking his name has inadequacy, sexist, and/or dominance issues.
Click to expand...

Probably because everyone I know except for this forum would laugh if it was otherwise and ask what in the world is going on, seriously I haven't seen the whole keep her name thing so much elsewhere as I have on this forum.

Dice// said:
What if you had to take hers?
Click to expand...

Hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahaahahhaha........ah, funny person.
 
H

hodgy100

Member
I'd rather we both kept our own names. taking a name on marriage is an old fashioned tradition and doesn't really offer anything besides a false feeling of being closer.
 
B

bananafactory

Banned
Nah, if I were to get married I'd actually encourage her to either keep her name, or for us to both adopt a hyphenated one.

It's always weird to me that a woman's entire family legacy by name just disappears when she gets hitched, like especially if she's an only child.
 
C

ClosingADoor

Member
Savitar said:
Probably because everyone I know except for this forum would laugh if it was otherwise and ask what in the world is going on, seriously I haven't seen the whole keep her name thing so much elsewhere as I have on this forum.



Hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahaahahhaha........ah, funny person.
Click to expand...
So if keeping her last name was important to her, you would care more about random people laughing at you - which will never happen, but whatever - then what your partner wants?
 
G

Geist-

Member
Doesn't matter to me at all. Actually, I think it would much cooler if myself and the person I marry just make up a new name to share. Something that belong to both of us equally. Hopefully my future wife has a great imagination. :p
 
L

LittleBoots

Member
hodgy100 said:
taking a name on marriage is an old fashioned tradition and doesn't really offer anything besides a false feeling of being closer.
Click to expand...
That's exactly the way I feel about it. He said it's a tradition. Sure, but why does that mean you have to perpetuate it? Just keep up the tradition because it's a tradition? I don't think that's a good reason.

SDCowboy said:
Yes. If we're a family, we have the same last name. Period.
Click to expand...
Why? You can still be a family with different last names.
 
QuantumZebra

QuantumZebra

Member
Savitar said:
Probably because everyone I know except for this forum would laugh if it was otherwise and ask what in the world is going on, seriously I haven't seen the whole keep her name thing so much elsewhere as I have on this forum.



Hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahaahahhaha........ah, funny person.
Click to expand...

Are you from the 1950s?

Almost no one I know that is married kept their partners last name, or they just didn't get married at all.

I don't see why your name is more important than her name. I'd love for you to answer that.

bananafactory said:
Nah, if I were to get married I'd actually encourage her to either keep her name, or for us to both adopt a hyphenated one.

It's always weird to me that a woman's entire family legacy by name just disappears when she gets hitched, like especially if she's an only child.
Click to expand...

Funny enough in the early 1900s/1800s and other periods, if a family only had girls, then the men they marry would take the girls name.
 
H

hodgy100

Member
Savitar said:
Probably because everyone I know except for this forum would laugh if it was otherwise and ask what in the world is going on, seriously I haven't seen the whole keep her name thing so much elsewhere as I have on this forum.



Hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahaahahhaha........ah, funny person.
Click to expand...

so you dont have an actual reason to oppose it beyond "its not the status quo "
 
C

CreepingFear

Member
I don't give a fuck. I have my father's last name, even though I never met him and he did not want to be my father when he was alive. My last name means nothing to me.
 
L

Lothar

Banned
It's important mainly because I'm the only son and my sisters already changed their names. So if I change my name or my children don't get my name, then the name dies out. I feel my parents wouldn't take that well since my sisters already changed theirs.
 
T

Two Words

Member
Savitar said:
We marry, she takes my name.

Simple as that.
Click to expand...

Okay, why not the opposite? Because reasons?

Lothar said:
It's important mainly because I'm the only son and my sisters already changed their names. So if I change my name or my children don't get my name, then the name dies out. I feel my parents wouldn't take that well since my sisters already changed theirs.
Click to expand...

What if your partner is in a similar situation?
 
B

bananafactory

Banned
Savitar said:
Probably because everyone I know except for this forum would laugh if it was otherwise and ask what in the world is going on, seriously I haven't seen the whole keep her name thing so much elsewhere as I have on this forum.



Hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahaahahhaha........ah, funny person.
Click to expand...

I see you're bringing a mature and open-minded approach to this topic.

Maybe you should associate with less assholes if everyone you know would laugh at something like that.
 
S

Savitar

Member
ClosingADoor said:
So if keeping her last name was important to her, you would care more about random people laughing at you - which will never happen, but whatever - then what your partner wants?
Click to expand...

No I'm saying it because except for this place most everyone I have ever met has taken the other person name. I can't think of a single one that didn't.
 
S

Septimus Prime

Member
LittleBoots said:
Not a bad suggestion. But it's true. It gets really confusing pretty fast when changing your last name.
Click to expand...
That's what my wife did, actually. I think it's a good compromise, where you'll placate him by "caring enough" to have it on paperwork, but you won't actually have to change it elsewhere. And then you get a spare identity, in case you want to get new member benefits again somewhere or something. Our son took my name, though, with his mom's maiden name as his middle name.
 
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