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[Raydeen]

Girl been going out with a few times.

Went away for a dirty weekend.

It's going to be the day....

Went for a nice meal...

Gets undressed....

First bummer is her tits vanish as those silicon gel things pop out...

OK....

Then she confesses she's a virgin....

Hey that's OK....who doesn't want that deflowering honour?

But it will not get in....

No matter how hard I try...

And I try...too hard....ouch...

More trying...she's tighter then an Obama budget.

But it's not going in....

Eventually it just goes soft...

And that night is best forgotten.

 

[Van Owen]

Pretty much a majority of the sex I had with my ex towards the end of our relationship.

I would try to get really into it but he would always bust it after 15-20 minutes. Hardly ever tried to give me mine after he got his too. He would just lay there once it was done and I would try to coax him into playing with me a little more but he never seemed into it.

He also moans like a girl.

It was pretty awful.

Hey 15-20 minutes is a pretty long time for intercourse.

 

[Tunavi]

*Spot saved for the first time I have sex*

*reserved*

 

[Dabanton]

My lord, what's up with all these stinky vagina stories?

Some women wearing inappropriate underwear i.e thongs for instance as daywear. They're not very kind to their vaginas. I'm also going to guess perfumed soaps and gels messing around with the natural balance of their vaginas.

 

[AdventureRacing]

I would try to get really into it but he would always bust it after 15-20 minutes.

Is this including foreplay and everything or just the actual time spent thrusting? If the later that doesn't seem bad at all.

 

[velociraptor]

Wow, these stinky vag stories are rather frightening.

Do these girls never shave down below?

Why does their pussy smell so vile?

I've only read the first page and I can smell something disgusting in my nose.

Ugh.

 

[InfiniteBento]

Is this including foreplay and everything or just the actual time spent thrusting? If the later that doesn't seem bad at all.

For everything. The actual time of penetration was incredibly short lived.

It decreased as it got closer to ending. Eventually, it was me wanting sex all the time and him telling me "I wanted it too much" When we would go weeks without even touching each other. He never wanted sex and I was always in the mood to do things, even if it wasn't just sex. -___-

 

[Daffy Duck]

For everything. The actual time of penetration was incredibly short lived.

It decreased as it got closer to ending. Eventually, it was me wanting sex all the time and him telling me "I wanted it too much" When we would go weeks without even touching each other. He never wanted sex and I was always in the mood to do things, even if it wasn't just sex. -___-

He sounds like an wrong 'un.

 

[AdventureRacing]

For everything. The actual time of penetration was incredibly short lived.

It decreased as it got closer to ending. Eventually, it was me wanting sex all the time and him telling me "I wanted it too much" When we would go weeks without even touching each other. He never wanted sex and I was always in the mood to do things, even if it wasn't just sex. -___-

Well shit, sounds like he was missing out.

 

[Raydeen]

Wow, these stinky vag stories are rather frightening.

Do these girls never shave down below?

Why does their pussy smell so vile?

I've only read the first page and I can smell something disgusting in my nose.

Ugh.

It is rarely anything to do with cleaning issues. More combination of the unique body acids, diet etc.

 

[TacticalFox88]

Wow, these stinky vag stories are rather frightening.

Do these girls never shave down below?

Why does their pussy smell so vile?

I've only read the first page and I can smell something disgusting in my nose.

Ugh.

What? Shaving or not shaving is NOT an indication of whether or not a vagina is healthy, clean, or smells great or not.

 

[InfiniteBento]

It is rarely anything to do with cleaning issues. More combination of the unique body acids, diet etc.

Its odd how women will still go out and get themselves in physical situations fully knowing that they aren't in great condition down yonder.

Pretty gross. They have products for smell if cleaning really isn't enough.

A lot of the stories in here about smelly situations gross me out so much. Eughhh ;-;

 

[velociraptor]

It is rarely anything to do with cleaning issues. More combination of the unique body acids, diet etc.

What? Shaving or not shaving is NOT an indication of whether or not a vagina is healthy, clean, or smells great or not.

So how can a girl keep it smelling nice and fresh? I would have assumed hygiene plays a role since the bacteria can play a role in creating a foul environment.

 

[Gherid__lacksGPS]

Pretty much a majority of the sex I had with my ex towards the end of our relationship.

I would try to get really into it but he would always bust it after 15-20 minutes. Hardly ever tried to give me mine after he got his too. He would just lay there once it was done and I would try to coax him into playing with me a little more but he never seemed into it.

He also moans like a girl.

It was pretty awful.

I can't stand it when dudes moan like girls. Seriously, it's ridiculous and makes me feel ashamed to be a man knowing other guys do that shit. I also feel it's my duty to apologize on behalf of men, as he wouldn't finish you. Hope he knew how to cook and had bank.

Also, regarding hygiene; it's a mix of things but as long as you eat healthy and do "standard maintenance" there really shouldn't' be an issue. A LOT of it does have to do with diet, though; for both sexes. I eat really clean, no soda, coffee, no processed foods etc. My ex - bless her, but you crazy baby! - told me the first time she sucked me off that I tasted like sugar, was actually sweet tasting. She couldn't believe it. She ate clean foods too - I cooked a lot for both of us - and I never had a complaints. Cut back on processed foods, drink lots of green tea and LOTS of fruit. yes, it's not just a joke, fruit really helps - banana's, apples, coconut, pineapple etc. Also, not sure about women, but oatmeal is a miracle food for men.

 

[otake]

Worst sex? The time a girl asked for anal and I said no...

Reality is, bad sex is still pretty good. What sucks is not having sex.

 

[HiiiLife]

I was a clueless kid in HS and unwillingly got my red wings. That was a little stomach turning when I realized that it was blood I was tasting and not the sweet vagina juice I'm constantly hearing guys talk about. I guess another story is almost having your penis snap in half when a chick is riding cowgirl, but I was under the impression that happens at least once to a lot of guys. And also chalk me up for having to deal with a nasty smelling vagina too. I remember finding lint between a girls lips when I pulled her underwear off.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

I was a clueless kid in HS and unwillingly got my red wings. That was a little stomach turning when I realized that it was blood I was tasting and not the sweet vagina juice I'm constantly hearing guys talk about. I guess another story is almost having your penis snap in half when a chick is riding cowgirl, but I was under the impression that happens at least once to a lot of guys. And also chalk me up for having to deal with a nasty smelling vagina too. I remember finding lint between a girls lips when I pulled her underwear off.

That's not really so bad! I'd imagine that's a common thing. Unless it was a massive amount of lint.

 

[HiiiLife]

That's not really so bad! I'd imagine that's a common thing. Unless it was a massive amount of lint.

A lot more than I typically find in the pocket of my jeans tbh. Lol.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

A lot more than I typically find in the pocket of my jeans tbh. Lol.

BLEAURGH

 

[Sylver]

I was pretty young with the third girl I was, I remember the first and the last time I had oral sex with her, one of the worst experiences. Her vagina smelled and tasted too strong, I could even say horrible like rotten fish. She was clean, shaved and so but the hell I wan't able to move closer my mouth overthere again. We didn't continue together for very long time. XD

 

[boatjacker]

Worst experience wasn't sex, but I went to this girls house because we had been sexting for about a week. I go and turns out she's into scratching really fucking hard which is a no for me since I don't have much pain tolerance. She goes down on me I'm like okay cool but she's running her mouth over my member and won't let me take off my pants. I said I came (I didn't) and said I had to go and she's like I love teasing sorry about that, like it was gonna soothe me. Fuck that noise.

 

[Jeff Albertson]

As with most people my worst time was my first time

On a beach in Halkidiki in Greece just after i turned 16 with a girl a bit older and vastly more experienced than I - she wasn't the prettiest either, wouldn't take her bra off due to uneven breasts.

So we are on a sun lounger and she tells me to put my leg up and for some reason in my nervous state I lift my leg and place it above hers before realising I am in fact not the vagina bearer in this situation, anyway eventually I got through it in a few awkward thrusts and we redressed.

Her dad then appeared walking along the beach with his wife and I feared the worst, he looks at me and says 'good luck lad I just got a shag'

Classy family like

Edit - actually I reckon the worst worst time was when I was about 17 with my girlfriend in the shower, felt a pop and looked down and saw lots and lots of blood - snapped the old banjo string, I still remember the horrible smell that accompanied it, horrific experience!

 

[Fornaximus]

Was getting drunk with a girl on a sandy beach-like area near a river and campground at Yosemite, messing around for awhile. Kissing, wandering hands, etc. Get down to business as the sun goes down and about 20 seconds into it, a large group of people starts heading in our general direction with flashlights and children. I quickly scramble to pull out and zip up. Rather than getting clothed and pretending nothing was going on until they pass us by, she bolts at them in a drunken rage (minus her pants) screaming that she was gonna kill them. Fortunately she tripped and fell flat on her face, which must have shaken something loose because she ran back and put her pants on before heading back into the breach. Many apologies and awkward glances from half the fuckin' campsite later, I managed to drag her back to our tent (with her parents) and call it a night.

It was my most awkward, public, hilarious, embarrassing and shortest sex. As well as my first.

 

[spwolf]

For everything. The actual time of penetration was incredibly short lived.

It decreased as it got closer to ending. Eventually, it was me wanting sex all the time and him telling me "I wanted it too much" When we would go weeks without even touching each other. He never wanted sex and I was always in the mood to do things, even if it wasn't just sex. -___-

you need to talk to my wife and tell her the story... so she knows how good she got it .

More seriously, i dont see how can anyone stay in relationship where sex was always bad... not bad for some time due to some problems, but always... sex is something that brings people together.

If you cant spend 20 minutes per week on getting your man/woman off/happy then you got to rethink your priorities in life or else you will come back home to locked house or even worse with someone else in it, doing it for you.

 

[SystemBug]

This didn't happen to me but a friend's room mate. I will be telling this story from my friends perspective.

"Basically, you do the basic go to the club and get chicks 1st year uni students do. Worked out well for my room mate and he's doing this girl back at the dorm. Later the girl's room mate knocks on our dorm door and tells us to bring out the girl my room mate has been fucking. I said why and she's like "she had an abortion last week"

Basically we bust open the door, the dude is traumatized, blood on the sheets and he's confused as fuck and still plowing her. There still remains a blood stain on the carpet floor"

 

[geebee]

Girl been going out with a few times.

Went away for a dirty weekend.

It's going to be the day....

Went for a nice meal...

Gets undressed....

First bummer is her tits vanish as those silicon gel things pop out...

OK....

Then she confesses she's a virgin....

Hey that's OK....who doesn't want that deflowering honour?

But it will not get in....

No matter how hard I try...

And I try...too hard....ouch...

More trying...she's tighter then an Obama budget.

But it's not going in....

Eventually it just goes soft...

And that night is best forgotten.

All of those line breaks just to say you couldnt get her in the mood?

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

All of those line breaks just to say you couldnt get her in the mood?

I giggled and said damn.

 

[garth2000]

So it was a girl from work. She was in her late 30's.

She was our admin assistant. We got on well at the office. One night after work we went out for drinks (going out for drinks after work was a common occurrence with people at this place). This time it was just us. We got to talking and she mentioned that she had never had an orgasm. I ask why, if it was just lousy partners or what. She says she was a virgin and never had the chance and she couldn't get there on her own..

I'm not sure if it was the booze or what, but I jokingly say: "lemme know if you want a hand with that". I was mid 20's at the time, and although I was no Casanova, I had been in a few long term relationships so I had some experience.

About two weeks later, she texts me, saying she wants to take me up on my offer. Being in a dry spell, I figure "why not?". So we set a night. We get together one night and decide to have some booze and play vids to lighten the mood. She proceeds to drink about a litre of vodka (approx 1/4 gallon). We were having a good night, but I questioned her consumption (I was also drunk, but I hadn't had that much). She said it was a regular thing, and could handle it. I thought it wasn't a good choice, but I kinda believed it based on her performance at past drinking nights.

Anyhow, the time came and we were fooling around. She kept pulling off the condom, and I asked if she was on the pill. She said no, so I kept rolling the condom back on. At one point, she rolled it right off. Being drunk (and in the dark), I decide to grab a new one, but went to the bathroom so I could see what I was doing (she wanted the lights off). I proceed to hear a gushing noise. My previous girl was a gusher, so I kinda knew the noise. With a grin on my face, I return to the bedroom with a smile on my face thinking she had finished herself off and that was the result.

Needless to say, she in fact had far too much to drink and proceeded to vomit all over my bed, the rug, the curtains... everything.

I cleaned everything up and put her to bed. She was mortified the next morning, but I comforted her and told her it was our secret (which it still kind of is, this story notwithstanding).

We got on being friends and tried once more. I'll save that story for "bad sex |OT2|" (note: it wasn't nearly as bad). I haven't heard from her since the second time.

 

[5amshift]

My first time was the worst...

We were doing it in her mums bed for some reason. But the TV was on. And it was on nickelodeon... Suddenly I heard. "Earth, Water, Fire, Air... ... I couldn't focus anymore and I just turned my head and basically started watching avatar...

This is probably the funniest thing I've read on GAF in a while. Holy shit, ahaha.

 

[Gamerloid]

I never had bad sex. Never had sex. What do I win?

 

[Cake Boss]

The actual sex was pretty good until I got to the doggy style part, damn she smelled terrible. Finished up though.

I left the apartment, waiting for elevator, then all of the sudden I got a wiff of her ass/vagina as I wait then start puking on the floor. Some guy shows up and immediatly closes the elevator door.

 

[Amagon]

I can't remember the last time I had sex. It will be about 4 years in two weeks.

 

[DjRoomba]

was carrying wood all day so nearly scorched my wang
(ive never had sex )

 

[pikachu Lv 5]

I couldn't stop reading. I just couldn't. I read everything. Pretty horrified now.

 

[Oemenia]

Damn never thought everyone on GAF were playas.

 

[ElectricBlue187]

I eat really clean, no soda, coffee, no processed foods etc. My ex - bless her, but you crazy baby! - told me the first time she sucked me off that I tasted like sugar, was actually sweet tasting. She couldn't believe it. She ate clean foods too - I cooked a lot for both of us - and I never had a complaints. Cut back on processed foods, drink lots of green tea and LOTS of fruit. yes, it's not just a joke, fruit really helps - banana's, apples, coconut, pineapple etc. Also, not sure about women, but oatmeal is a miracle food for men.

This reads like an infomercial

 

[DrM]

Once I stumbled upon one quite smelly lady. Down there, that is. She was fine specimen, good looking, very nice but when action started stench started to creep in and it was horrible. Like decaying fish or that stuff that crazy ass Scandinavians eat.

Damn, just lost my appetite for today just remembering that event. Burp.

 

[XenodudeX]

These smelly vagina stories make me thank god everyday that he made me a guy.

 

[Messofanego]

Also, regarding hygiene; it's a mix of things but as long as you eat healthy and do "standard maintenance" there really shouldn't' be an issue. A LOT of it does have to do with diet, though; for both sexes. I eat really clean, no soda, coffee, no processed foods etc. My ex - bless her, but you crazy baby! - told me the first time she sucked me off that I tasted like sugar, was actually sweet tasting. She couldn't believe it. She ate clean foods too - I cooked a lot for both of us - and I never had a complaints. Cut back on processed foods, drink lots of green tea and LOTS of fruit. yes, it's not just a joke, fruit really helps - banana's, apples, coconut, pineapple etc. Also, not sure about women, but oatmeal is a miracle food for men.

Fruit of the Looms were really onto something, huh.

 

[Stet]

These stories fall into three camps:

1) Smelly vaginas
2) Actually terrible sex
3) Sex that was bad because the poster doesn't know what the hell they're doing, and still thinks it was a problem with their partner

I kind of like camp three the best.

 

[Pete Rock]

...possibly caused by wiping back to front instead of front to back.

If you ever witness this, it is time to bail immediately, no further questions asked. This person is fundamentally broken in every conceivable way.

 

[Jeff Albertson]

Another particularly bad example for me was September 12th 2001 around 9am

Me and this girl had been texting a while and we were convinced the world may end so we better hook up before then (we'd met up after the pub a couple of times and messed around a bit - she was the finest administer of head in the north west of England I have no doubt) , I pretended I had a dentists appointment and told work id be in late

It was a quick fumble that wasn't very gratifying she was porn moaning before I even touched her, absolutely scorching body though the sex was just lacking.

 

[Dicer]

Did it in the butt, pulled out had the rankest shit covered meatstick to ever grace planet earth, how I didn't vomit I'll never know...

Typing this post is making me gag though, ugh...

 

[IdreamofHIME]

The night I lost my virginity. Must have been humping her for a good hour before I finally blew my load. She said it was amazing, but it felt terrible for me.
She was my best friends sister too, so it was awkward with him after....though he never found out until years later.

 

[ChainedMaster]

Girl with a fishy downstairs. No joke. It smelled like rotting fish. One of the worst smells I've ever experienced. It's such a shame because she was so hot.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

If you ever witness this, it is time to bail immediately, no further questions asked. This person is fundamentally broken in every conceivable way.

I imagine you'd smell, or worse, taste it before ever actually witnessing it happen first hand.

Food for thought.

 

[lmpaler]

I attempted to have sex with a virgin. Moral of the story, I prefer sluts for casual encounters.

I was having anal sex with my first partner (from behind) and her 5 year old son walked into the room. Never has my penis went from rock solid to flaccid so quickly.

The sex itself was great, just a bad outcome.

My ex-girlfriend wanted me to pound her pretty hard. Apparently after she got off it started to hurt and she did not notify me of this. She started crying. Never has my dick become limp so quickly. Total mood killer.

 

[Newline]

Worst sex for me?

I was working in the Olympic Village for the 2012 games, everyone seemed pretty damn horny in that place, I don't know if it was the tension and atmosphere of the games. Anyway I met this nice Hungarian girl one day and she took me back to the cabin she was living in for the entirety of the games. I haven't had sex for a few months at this point so i'm completely on it, hard on comes instantly and i'm ready to go, her on the otherhand... getting her going was like trying to get blood out of a stone. She had a really tight vagina, wasn't getting the slightest bit wet and we had no lube. She was telling me was was into it, she was confused as to why it wasn't working, but no matter what we did it wasn't happening. Tried thrusting a bit more to no avail, just wouldn't go in. So we ended up just calling it quits and slept, that was the end of that.

 

[Symphonia]

I attempted to have sex with a virgin. Moral of the story, I prefer sluts for casual encounters.

The only thing worse than having sex with a virgin is when you're both virgins. Just awkward bumping and grinding.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

The only thing worse than having sex with a virgin is when you're both virgins. Just awkward bumping and grinding.

This is not true in all cases my friend.