Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
You made the right call, Ray. She will try to win you back, don't fall for it.
She will, I know. I was waaayyyyy good to her for her not to try that. She took that shit for granted. lol
You made the right call, Ray. She will try to win you back, don't fall for it.
Block and delete.
Note the delete part. No reason to hang onto those details now that you've committed to this course of action. Severe all ties, it will start the process of acceptance that things are over and eventually make moving on easier.
Good to have you back you corny, songwriting motherfucker.
Hello, I'm Joey and I'm almost 29!
After 3 years in an abusive relationship, and 6 months after breaking up (6 months of "abusive friendship", now I realize), I decided to get on Tinder. A friend of mine insisted it was the best thing ever, so I reluctantly agreed.
To my surprise, I matched with a girl a few days ago. She's... really nice, easygoing and laidback. She doesn't seem pretentious at all and we have a good few interests in common. She noticed I was being way too cautious, so she told me to get a coffee together. I'm meeting her tonight!
I can hardly believe my luck. I know I shouldn't be putting my all into this very first date, with the very first girl I meet. That'd be setting myself up for a heartbreak. And I don't even want to "get" anywhere today. I just want to talk and not worry about anything. To enjoy myself and the company of others. After almost 4 years of feeling like shit, this has to be one of the most liberating sensations in the world.
Sorry for the rambling, datingGAF. But I'm overjoyed and needed to share it with you.
Broke up with my girl.
She was out with some friends. (first time she didn't invite me out with this group of friends) I asked who made it out, and she listed some names, and said "This person brought my ex". (the ex that she was talking to that made us split the first time.) I was completely fine with this tbh, but I asked if he knew we were dating. She said no. So I asked her to tell him at some point if the oppurtunity presented itself. She got defensive, saying that I don't trust her. She told me that he knew that we've been going out a lot, knew I got her flowers like three days before, and knew we were going on vacation the week after. My response to that was "He knows all of that, which no one has posted anywhere, meaning you told him. But you won't tell him you're my girl" This started a big ol fight. I got 1-2 word responses all the next day, and then that next night she went out, I text her about the vacation, and I saw that she blocked me. I messaged her on snap, asking why she blocked me, and she read the message and ignored it. So the next morning she wakes up, acting like nothing is wrong. Said her friend blocked me on her phone, and she didn't realize because she was out drinking.
So I called it off. I'm the least shady dude ever, and I'll go to any length to make sure the other person in a relationship trusts me. I can't take all this stressful shit, especially when this was the dude I left the first time about.
Oh yeah, hey gaf, I'm back.
Good on you for calling it off. And welcome back lolol
Pineapple Pizza
So, a couple of days ago I went to dinner with my gf's parents. Everything was fine, I had a good time. They ordered pizza and they seem to be really nice people tbh, really likeable people. This was a really nice surprise coming from mi ex-gf parents, who both were awful as fuck (I don't if they were the kind of people like "you fuck my daughter therefore I hate you to death" or what, but it was really umpleasant being with them). So, everything good, everything fine
BUT
then I open the pizza box and
fuck
FUCK
pineapple in every fucking pizza.
I don't know, gaf, I suspected there was something shady on them, they were too good to believe it, but I would have never thought that they were straight up demons.
I think now I have to split up with my gf, I mean, what else could I do in this situation?
So, a couple of days ago I went to dinner with my gf's parents. Everything was fine, I had a good time. They ordered pizza and they seem to be really nice people tbh, really likeable people. This was a really nice surprise coming from mi ex-gf parents, who both were awful as fuck (I don't if they were the kind of people like "you fuck my daughter therefore I hate you to death" or what, but it was really umpleasant being with them). So, everything good, everything fine
BUT
then I open the pizza box and
fuck
FUCK
pineapple in every fucking pizza.
I don't know, gaf, I suspected there was something shady on them, they were too good to believe it, but I would have never thought that they were straight up demons.
I think now I have to split up with my gf, I mean, what else could I do in this situation?
i don't understand the problem
the parents are nice
the girl is nice
the pizza sounds delicious
mmmm pineapple
the pizza sounds delicious
mmmm pineapple
mmmm pineapple
Do you guys ever feel like you don't know what you're doing? I feel like I'm stumbling through this.
Do you guys ever feel like you don't know what you're doing? I feel like I'm stumbling through this.
I normally cringe at how quick Miles is to say "Drop them 👎👇🙅, delete everything 🚮🔥❌🚫💢, and never looks back🙈🏃👀. There are ❗️🚩🚩🚩everywhere."
But I have to agree this time.
The bigger problem - who orders pizza for someone they haven't met and doesn't grab a cheese pizza? Or at least a half-cheese half-pep? That's just basic decorum. Love pineapple all you want, but don't force your preferences onto someone you don't know.
Had two dates on Friday and neither went well. They were pretty boring. I wasn't really feeling anything for either of them. Soooo, better luck next time for me.
Date with Swedish girl went good, at least for me.
But during it I got more matches and two girls started convos, I have no idea where to focus right now.
Date with Swedish girl went good, at least for me.
But during it I got more matches and two girls started convos, I have no idea where to focus right now.
CUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT!
Why the fuck is the monkey covering its eye? The fuck is going on with these stupid ass emojis.
Wait, what happened with the one you were getting serious with? Or am I confusing you with someone else.
Have you read "Modern Romance", as suggested in the OP? It has a section on the effects Tinder can have on dating, beyond it's ability to get dates. In particular, since you literally have a list in your pocket of girls interested in you, you can start evaluating dates under the guise of "How did this girl compare to all these other girls?"
Be present with whomever you're presently with. If you have more attention than you know what to do with, scale it back.
And I'm hoping the "during it" part was a realization after the fact, and not because you checked your phone at any time between date start and date finish (that also means not checking it when going to the bathroom).
They just seemed disinterested in the conversation. Maybe I'm confusing it with shyness? I'm not really sure. Maybe I was actually boring. But I wasn't really feeling any kind of interest from them, even though they've since told me otherwise. I've experienced shyness before, and this didn't really feel the same.Sucks, but more dates equals more experience and helps you discover what you're really looking for in a potential partner.
I'm curious though, what made them boring?
They just seemed disinterested in the conversation. Maybe I'm confusing it with shyness? I'm not really sure. Maybe I was actually boring. But I wasn't really feeling any kind of interest from them, even though they've since told me otherwise. I've experienced shyness before, and this didn't really feel the same.
Honestly, these are my first dates in a little while, so maybe I'm just reading things incorrectly.
She's not into you anymore. Move on.So, figured I'd post here with some stuff that's happened recently in my life. Not sure what I'm really looking for... maybe some thoughts into what she's thinking? Anyways, here's the shortened version of the story.
My ex (20) and I (31) were dating for about 2 and a half years. Never in my life have I really found someone that I just connect with. Well, she moved away and just recently, she broke up with me. We had been seeing each other less and less, etc. On top of that, we have always been independent people and not clingy with each other.
Anyways, I still think in the relationship I should have been better about showing how I feel and going up there more often, etc. I recently gave her sister a letter and a necklace my ex always wanted to give to my ex and I think she actually gave it to her (at least, I did text my ex afterward saying "hey glad you took the letter" etc). In the letter I basically go over what I just mentioned and suggested we try again.
Obviously you guys know what's coming: she didn't come back or, really anything. We are still friends on most social medias besides snapchat, but she never really interacts with me and I interact with her rarely. We haven't really texted for a week (since I texted her about the letter) and before that it had been two weeks before the break up. So in all, basically zero communication for 3 weeks. Also, I will not randomly run into her anytime soon as she's still about 2 hours away though should move back to the area in half a year or so.
What's the play here? I have the option to move (in fact because I can't find a job I may have to....oklahoma lecturer at a college around here). Do you think she'll ever want to get back together? She says she just doesn't feel the passion anymore. I kind of realize I'm asking a magic 8 ball type question, but I'm curious what she's thinking. All I see her do on social media lately is hang out with her one best friend, get into a relationship with her, and brag on her friends a *lot*.
In the end, I get why she broke up with me - distance sucks and I had been thinking about taking a break for awhile too. But, I chose not to because in the end, the way we got along was unprecedented for me. And normally after a breakup after a few weeks (regardless of if I was broken up with or not), I think, "yeah, wasn't a good relationship anyway" but I don't feel that way about this one. I still think it was a damn good relationship and I fucked up not putting enough into it and yeah, distance sucked too.
She's not into you anymore. Move on.
You creeped on a 17 year old when you were 29 and are shocked now that she doesn't want a serious relationship after she moved away? And you're sending her jewelry?
You said you were a lecturer. Please, for the love of
God, don't say she was your student.
The fact that you connected with her "so well" speaks volumes. I'm not necessarily saying you're a predator, but it suggests you can't create meaningful adult relationships.
So, figured I'd post here with some stuff that's happened recently in my life. Not sure what I'm really looking for... maybe some thoughts into what she's thinking? Anyways, here's the shortened version of the story.
My ex (20) and I (31) were dating for about 2 and a half years. Never in my life have I really found someone that I just connect with. Well, she moved away and just recently, she broke up with me. We had been seeing each other less and less, etc. On top of that, we have always been independent people and not clingy with each other.
Anyways, I still think in the relationship I should have been better about showing how I feel and going up there more often, etc. I recently gave her sister a letter and a necklace my ex always wanted to give to my ex and I think she actually gave it to her (at least, I did text my ex afterward saying "hey glad you took the letter" etc). In the letter I basically go over what I just mentioned and suggested we try again.
Obviously you guys know what's coming: she didn't come back or, really anything. We are still friends on most social medias besides snapchat, but she never really interacts with me and I interact with her rarely. We haven't really texted for a week (since I texted her about the letter) and before that it had been two weeks before the break up. So in all, basically zero communication for 3 weeks. Also, I will not randomly run into her anytime soon as she's still about 2 hours away though should move back to the area in half a year or so.
What's the play here? I have the option to move (in fact because I can't find a job I may have to....oklahoma lecturer at a college around here). Do you think she'll ever want to get back together? She says she just doesn't feel the passion anymore. I kind of realize I'm asking a magic 8 ball type question, but I'm curious what she's thinking. All I see her do on social media lately is hang out with her one best friend, get into a relationship with her, and brag on her friends a *lot*.
In the end, I get why she broke up with me - distance sucks and I had been thinking about taking a break for awhile too. But, I chose not to because in the end, the way we got along was unprecedented for me. And normally after a breakup after a few weeks (regardless of if I was broken up with or not), I think, "yeah, wasn't a good relationship anyway" but I don't feel that way about this one. I still think it was a damn good relationship and I fucked up not putting enough into it and yeah, distance sucked too.
20 year old doesnt wanna do long distance anymore with someone 11 years older than her. Not to come across as a dick but this just doesn't seem like it's going to be repaired.
At that age people are not nearly as interested in committing. It is what it is.
The only thing worse than a family of pineapple pizza eaters would be a family of actual cannibals
BUT
then I open the pizza box and
fuck
FUCK
pineapple in every fucking pizza.
Nah you're not coming across as a dick. I wanted a second opinion that is not from me or anyone that is privy to the situation. If this is what it is, so be it. And thanks
Edit: One quick thing about commitment that you mentioned: Why was she the one that always pushed the relationship forward? She wanted to move in later this summer, actually. That mystery I'll never get.
Nah you're not coming across as a dick. I wanted a second opinion that is not from me or anyone that is privy to the situation. If this is what it is, so be it. And thanks
Edit: One quick thing about commitment that you mentioned: Why was she the one that always pushed the relationship forward? She wanted to move in later this summer, actually. That mystery I'll never get.
well at 20 years old you pretty much want something different every 17 minutes. I wouldn't dig too much into it.
anyways yeah, this is a bust dude. On to the next one. This girl still has her entire 20's to find the "right" guy. No need to be ball&chained with someone who's stuck 2 hours away.
Maybe it's just your perception of what she wanted. Or maybe she really did want that at one point and doesn't now.
People at 20 years old change very rapidly because they're still growing up. But there's really no one who can answer that other than her.
Either way, I'd seriously move on from this one. When there's an age difference that is this significant, and the younger of the two people breaks it off, the older person really should go out of their way to respect the decision.
That said, I won't be moving on for awhile (in the sense of finding someone else), but I will be doing everything I can to get over her. Again, thanks!
The only thing worse than a family of pineapple pizza eaters would be a family of actual cannibals
It can certainly be overwhelming! I don't even bother swiping anymore since I already have enough matches...Already talked about it in online dating OT but matched with almost 40 new girls after resetting Tinder yesterday and I'm kind of overwhelmed, but at least there's plenty of dates coming up this week.
Honestly I wouldn't bother with her, look up another one who is more interested.
Friday has been re-arranged with a hot Chinese model/actress I've met up with a couple of times, so it's for the best.Imagine if you treated her the way she's treating you. What do you think she'd do?
Haha, good advice.Keep the date, arrive a week late.
You mentioned moving being a possible option in your earlier post. I strongly suggest considering it.Most of the time it is the religion barrier (seriously, everyone here is religious)
I truly believe this, tooThat's a solid plan. You'll be fine in a few months.
You mentioned moving being a possible option in your earlier post. I strongly suggest considering it.
Hey dude, congrats! Just enjoy the date, don't worry about the next step or anything :3
Good luck my dude.
byebitch.gifIf you come to my house you either eat the pizza with the pineapple or gtfo
what do you think canadian bacon is, hmmm?
long pork
Good pointThat's not true, you'd have fewer of them to have to deal with.
Date with Swedish girl went good, at least for me.
But during it I got more matches and two girls started convos, I have no idea where to focus right now.
well at 20 years old you pretty much want something different every 17 minutes. I wouldn't dig too much into it.
anyways yeah, this is a bust dude. On to the next one. This girl still has her entire 20's to find the "right" guy. No need to be ball&chained with someone who's stuck 2 hours away.
Maybe it's just your perception of what she wanted. Or maybe she really did want that at one point and doesn't now.
People at 20 years old change very rapidly because they're still growing up. But there's really no one who can answer that other than her.
Either way, I'd seriously move on from this one. When there's an age difference that is this significant, and the younger of the two people breaks it off, the older person really should go out of their way to respect the decision.