• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Man requests 'trial by combat' with Japanese swords to settle dispute with Iowa ex-wife

JORMBO

JORMBO

Darkness no more
www.desmoinesregister.com

Man requests 'trial by combat' with Japanese swords to settle dispute with Iowa ex-wife

David Ostrom asked an Iowa court to give him 12 weeks notice to "source or forge" a katana and wakizashi for the duel.
www.desmoinesregister.com

A Kansas man has asked an Iowa court to grant his motion for trial by combat so he can meet his ex-wife and her attorney "on the field of battle where (he) will rend their souls from their corporal bodies."
Click to expand...
David Ostrom, 40, of Paola, Kansas, claims in court documents that his ex-wife, Bridgette Ostrom, 38, of Harlan, has "destroyed (him) legally."

He asked the Iowa District Court in Shelby County to give him 12 weeks "lead time" in order to source or forge katana and wakizashi swords, as first reported by the Carroll Times Herald.

"To this day, trial by combat has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States," Ostrom argues in court records, adding that it was used "as recently as 1818 in British Court."
Click to expand...
 
JareBear: Remastered

JareBear: Remastered

Banned
Kev Kev said:
better hope she doesnt know the five point palm exploding heart technique
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
 
Cutty Flam

Cutty Flam

Banned
Wow that is pretty fucking badass not going to lie

Ex-Wife: You know what, im done, im taking you for everything you're worth in court!
Man: Go ahead. I plan on collecting your soul in a battle, granted legally by the same justice system you have chosen to run to
 
Airola

Airola

Member
King of Foxes said:
You took my virginity and now you want to take the house and dog?

May my ancestors forgive me for what i must do

giphy.gif
Click to expand...

Assuming virginity has been taken yet. Maybe he's angry because instead of taking virginity she tried to take house and dog first.
If that's the case, she fully deserves to be met with those combat moves in the gif!
 
Bernkastel

Bernkastel

Ask me about my fanboy energy!
Wife should bring a Kilij to the fight. Katana is just for people who dont know shit about history.
 
Last edited:
Azurro

Azurro

Banned
Elektro_Demon said:
Fuck yeah. Before ban, the mod who issued your ban has to defeat you in Quake live or Ut99. You win, no ban. You loose, you get banned.
Now that's a unique system.
Click to expand...

No, no, no need for bans, we can simply play a children's card game and the loser gets sent to the shadow realm. Ancient Egyptian people loved it!
 
G

Gargus

Banned
They should allow this, to the death.

Every state should allow trial by combat if it is mutually agreed on by both parties and are of say 21 years or age or older. And it should be on pay per view and all the proceeds go to the public school system.
 
John Day

John Day

Member
If i was a bored-the-fuck-out-of-my-life-and-wife judge... i’d actually go through with this for shits and giggles.
 
StreetsofBeige

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Judge: Don't be an idiot. This isn't the 1800s

Man: But people like to bring up outdated laws back when people used candlesticks at night to write pen quilled letters on shitty paper. It's still the law

Judge (thinking): Hmmmm..... use outdated laws at a time people wiped their ass with corn cobs, or use my judgement as a high salary official and tell the guy he's a moron?

Judge: Ok, but I grant you only 10 weeks to find a katana
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom