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[Fracas]

If you didn't consent to it, then yeah. Sorry dude. :/

edit: saw your other post. You did nothing wrong. Don't blame yourself.

 

[injurai]

What's the confusion here? If someone has sex with you against your will then it's rape.

Guys aren't prepared on how to internalize being raped.

 

[BPoole]

Why did you not want to have sex with her? I don't think I could ever be raped by a female since I wouldn't be in an intimate setting with someone that I didn't want to have set with

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Dude, read the OP. She put a condom on him.

And where is the condom then?

 

[terrisus]

Yes.

 

[Hackworth]

I don't really know how to feel about it. The event is just lingering in my mind and I can't seem to get over it. I'm angry at myself for getting that drunk and allowing myself to be in that situation. But at the same time I trusted her not to do this and she did.

It's all confusing for me.

I can help you clear that up. You know what causes rape? Rapists.

Stand strong, this isn't on you.

 

[SuperSah]

Sounds like rape.

 

[Dryk]

Sounds like rape

I don't really know how to feel about it. The event is just lingering in my mind and I can't seem to get over it. I'm angry at myself for getting that drunk and allowing myself to be in that situation. But at the same time I trusted her not to do this and she did.

It's all confusing for me.

Yep, definitely rape. And don't blame yourself OP.

 

[OrlanisWorks]

Not many rapists apologize, as far as I know, so at least that occured. Still, that sounds like rape, I must agree with other posters. Sorry this happened to ya, man.

Edit: don't self-hate.

 

[SDBurton]

Yep, but to be fair, it sounds like she was wasted too.

Genderswap the situation and then tell me if thats still an valid excuse for you.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[MutFox]

You started to passout?
Think you were drugged or was it just the alchohol?

 

[Winterfang]

I don't really know how to feel about it. The event is just lingering in my mind and I can't seem to get over it. I'm angry at myself for getting that drunk and allowing myself to be in that situation. But at the same time I trusted her not to do this and she did.

It's all confusing for me.



She was definitely more sober than I was.

Yeah... that's a rape. That's exactly how a person feels after they get raped. Just remember that it was not your fault OP.

 

[Yrael]

Yeah, that was rape. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Don't blame yourself for it - it's not your fault in the slightest.

 

[renitou]

That's rape. It's not your fault. Report her so she can't do it to anyone else, cuz Christ.

 

[Liquidsnake]

What's a prohylactic?
Condom?

 

[.GqueB.]

Why did you not want to have set with her? I don't think I could ever be raped by a female since I wouldn't be in an intimate setting with someone that I didn't want to have set with

Seems he didn't wanna do it drunk. I've gotten like that before. Having sex while too drunk is more trouble than its worth.

Sometimes a dude just wanna go to sleep.

 

[devilhawk]

Yep, but to be fair, it sounds like she was wasted too.

This statement is trouble.

 

[Solideliquid]

Last night I was hanging out with a girl and a few drinks turned into a lot more. She turned on some music and started grinding on me then pulled me into the bedroom; I remember all of that. Then I started to pass out and sort of hunched over her as she kept grinding on me. She pushed me onto the bed and took my pants off. At this point I remember saying, "hey no, let's not do this drunk" and she said it was fine. She grabbed a prophylactic and put it on me and attempted to have sex with me while I was on the bed. I was in and out of all of this; only remember flashes of what happened.

Woke up this morning and she apologized for what happened last night.

I feel really weird about this because I'm a guy who doesn't really care too much about getting laid or not. But when I ask a woman not to have sex with me and she does, while I'm drunk at that, I feel...I don't know violated doesn't seem to encompass the feeling.

Wait what? So did she or didn't she? Also what's a prophylactic in this situation?

 

[Dwarven Defender]

Dude, read the OP. She put a condom on him.

He also says he only remembers flashes of what happened. He seems not to have a full recollection of the events. It's important that he publicly states somehow that whatever sex that was had, was had against his will.

 

[Shaanyboi]

Sorry dude, but yeah, you kinda did. You weren't okay with it and she did it anyway. That's a violation right there, and it's not okay.

 

[Kinvara]

Last night I was hanging out with a girl and a few drinks turned into a lot more. She turned on some music and started grinding on me then pulled me into the bedroom; I remember all of that. Then I started to pass out and sort of hunched over her as she kept grinding on me. She pushed me onto the bed and took my pants off. At this point I remember saying, "hey no, let's not do this drunk" and she said it was fine. She grabbed a prophylactic and put it on me and attempted to have sex with me while I was on the bed. I was in and out of all of this; only remember flashes of what happened.

Woke up this morning and she apologized for what happened last night.

I feel really weird about this because I'm a guy who doesn't really care too much about getting laid or not. But when I ask a woman not to have sex with me and she does, while I'm drunk at that, I feel...I don't know violated doesn't seem to encompass the feeling.

You were raped, OP.

I'm terribly sorry that this happened to you.

I hope you can find those who will support you. I can't believe people would joke about something like this. Disgusting.

RAINN is usually a good resource.

Best of luck to you.

 

[jorgeton]

That's awful OP. Sorry this has happened to you. You should find someone you trust and talk to them about it.

 

[Salvatron]

That's horrible. File a police report immediately.

 

[HUELEN10]

I'm so, so sorry that you got violated Zibrahim, it's not right and it's not your fault; believe me, I know.

Just stay away from her and try to collect yourself. It can take time. You're not "supposed" to feel any certain way besides how you feel right now. Don't be angry on yourself, this is not and never will be on you; it was out of your control.

That's horrible. File a police report immediately.

Usually I would say the same thing, as it make sense to do so, but one should do a little research first; some law enforcement is extremely sexist when it comes to violations when the victim is male. Sadly, I speak from experience.

 

[Pickman]

Wait what? So did she or didn't she? Also what's a prophylactic in this situation?

Saran wrap and a rubber band...

More likely she put a condom on him.

OP, it's your call on what to do here, but if you said no and she insisted and forced the act on you, that's rape. Do with that what you will.

 

[slit]

What's the confusion here? If someone has sex with you against your will then it's rape.

You're not wrong, but the confusion comes from gender roles when it comes to sex. Guys are supposed to want sex all the time therefore they can't be raped, in their own minds, by a women. It's an incorrect assumption but it exists.

 

[Delta Assault]

And where is the condom then?

So... you're suggesting she wanted to get pregnant by... slipping a condom on him, and then taking it off so she could collect the semen from the condom and put it into a turkey baster, so she could try and use the turkey baster to impregnate herself?

Wha?

 

[Hackworth]

What's a prohylactic?
Condom?

Something along those lines, yeah.

 

[victreeb3l]

Dude, read the OP. She put a condom on him.

Condoms can break, especially if you're drunk and arent paying attention.

 

[Ahasverus]

I'm sorry pal, hope it doesn't affect you very much.

 

[SystemShock2]

Hope you feel better. Can you talk to this girl? Maybe it'd help.

 

[Winterfang]

Why did you not want to have set with her? I don't think I could ever be raped by a female since I wouldn't be in an intimate setting with someone that I didn't want to have set with

Seems like OP was tired or too drunk. Probably just wanted to sleep and maybe do it in the morning is they both felt like it. The girl was drunk and horny and took control of the situation. Sometimes a person can't help themselves but it's in times like these where your morals are tested that you should be strong and not commit a crime.

Good thing protection was there, getting an STD after getting sex against your will is a hell I don't wish on anyone.

 

[Corine]

Yes you did.

 

[Vashetti]

Sorry OP, but that reads like rape to me.

The only reason you feel 'confused' regarding this is because you're a male and societal norms still dictate that men can't get raped because how could a girl 'overpower' a guy?

But it does happen, obviously.

If it keeps affecting you, speak to a friend or family member, or maybe even a psychiatrist.

It's up to you to report the girl to the police or not.

 

[Zibrahim]

Thanks, people. I'm not considering any legal action because I'm still trying to come to terms with what happened. I know I shouldn't blame myself but it's hard not to when I take responsibility for my actions so much. I can't help but think that if I didn't get that drunk, this wouldn't have happened.

She didn't put anything in my drinks and I'm pretty sure she stopped and removed/got rid of the condom because I wasn't exactly performing at my best.

What's a prohylactic?
Condom?

Correct.

Why did you not want to have set with her? I don't think I could ever be raped by a female since I wouldn't be in an intimate setting with someone that I didn't want to have set with

Because I don't like having drunken sex.

 

[Zoe]

So... you're suggesting she wanted to get pregnant by... slipping a condom on him, and then taking it off so she could collect the semen from the condom and put it into a turkey baster, so she could try and use the turkey baster to impregnate herself?

Wha?

It's actually not unheard of.

 

[Chariot]

So... you're suggesting she wanted to get pregnant by... slipping a condom on him, and then taking it off so she could collect the semen from the condom and put it into a turkey baster, so she could try and use the turkey baster to impregnate herself?

Wha?

She could easily changed her mind or lost it inbetween.

 

[MIMIC]

Well most statutes call it "sexual battery" now and from your description, that's unfortunately exactly what happened.

Have you talked to anyone (a friend or a family member) about what happened?

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

So... you're suggesting she wanted to get pregnant by... slipping a condom on him, and then taking it off so she could collect the semen from the condom and put it into a turkey baster, so she could try and use the turkey baster to impregnate herself?

Wha?

I'm not saying that happened in this case, but with the craziness in the world and what you see on Craigslist, anything is possible.

 

[Salvatron]

Usually I would say the same thing, as it make sense to do so, but one should do a little research first; some law enforcement is extremely sexist when it comes to violations when the victim is male. Sadly, I speak from experience.

He should be able to request to speak with a female officer. Either way, I hope OP reports this person.

 

[jambo]

That sounds pretty bad, those types of situations can leave a very lasting imprint on a person.

I wonder what the replies in this thread would be like if the OP was a woman...

 

[Delta Assault]

It's actually not unheard of.

Fair enough. Sorry for derailing this thread, OP.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

I wonder what the replies in this thread would be like if the OP was a woman...

Overwhelmingly "yes."

Males being raped and dealing with that is for better or worse, a new concept to many.

 

[Zibrahim]

Well most statutes call it "sexual battery" now and from your description, that's unfortunately exactly what happened.

Have you talked to anyone (a friend or a family member) about what happened?

No. That's why I'm posting here. I don't know you guys and having an objective response from people that don't know me helps me.

 

[Drakeon]

Go to the police and report it now. You don't have to pursue prosecution if you don't want to, but it'll be much easier to pursue it later if you change your mind and do want to pursue prosecution later and they already have a report of the activity.

 

[devilhawk]

That sounds pretty bad, those types of situations can leave a very lasting imprint on a person.

I wonder what the replies in this thread would be like if the OP was a woman...

It would be much more matter of fact to tell her to go to the police. Posters here are giving the OP a lot more leeway to come to his own decision after getting some guidance and reflecting on it. This is not a bad way to look it, imo, but it is certainly different than if the gender was reversed.

 

[Prologue]

report her

 

[Winterfang]

That sounds pretty bad, those types of situations can leave a very lasting imprint on a person.

I wonder what the replies in this thread would be like if the OP was a woman...

I'm guessing pretty much the same, but people will get more angry. Some people will try to defend the rapist, the phrase victim blaming will be use, lots of people will get banned, blood thirsty GAF will demand the person to be raped in jail, the usual posters will be involved, the thread will linger in OT for like a month. The usual.

It's not your fault OP, try to talk to the girl and get the complete story. You have the right to know what happened when you passe out.

 

[Chuck Norris]

That is fucked up. Report her to the Police

If not for you, then for the others she is sure to do this to or already has

 

[Warren Ellis]

next time if she is hot just give her the permission before you get drunk