Holy shit, I missed this. File a report, do it right now. You'll be royally screwed if you don't and she ends up knocked up.
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GAF, did I get raped?
- Thread starter Zibrahim
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Holy shit, I missed this. File a report, do it right now. You'll be royally screwed if you don't and she ends up knocked up.
Very clearly let me state that it isn't my intention to blame any victim. I'm not placing any of the blame in this event on the OP. None. I hope that is understood.
I'm saying that debating the course of action in reporting a rape to the police shows how these events are, sometimes, not taken as seriously as they need to be by many of the involved parties. Again, I'm not blaming the OP for anything. It should be reported.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. You were indeed raped by that girl and I encourage you to seek help from law enforcement.
You did nothing wrong here. You told her no yet she still took advantage of you. She needs to be held accountable for this. Rape is wrong, no matter who does it, male or female, they need to be charged for it.
You did nothing wrong here. You told her no yet she still took advantage of you. She needs to be held accountable for this. Rape is wrong, no matter who does it, male or female, they need to be charged for it.
Devolution
Member
Well the fact that you implied someone isn't serious enough about it if they don't report was completely insulting.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
This story made me contemplate how some of my former friends would have reacted if I were to tell them that something similar had happened to me. I can't be entirely sure, but I have a feeling that the reality would have been fairly disturbing.
ShyGuy0504
Member
Yes you were raped.
If you said no, and the other person ignored that went through with it anyway then that is rape.
If you said no, and the other person ignored that went through with it anyway then that is rape.
And even if you don't want to report it, you can still talk to your doctor about this (and you absolutely should, if you're having these initial feelings of confusion/shame. Have them give you a referral and have a follow up, if only just as a precaution to check if you're going to have any trauma from this. They are required to report rape statistics, but no personally identifying information, and are not required to inform the police themselves unless certain procedures are performed (rape kits, signs of battery, or if the individual reporting the rape is underage, mainly)
Basically, don't bottle it up inside. Find someone to talk to. And I don't know how much you plan to stay in contact with this girl, but she seems to realize she may have fucked up. If you're comfortable bringing it up with the girl, you might want to talk to her about it, as well, if you're not going to pursue legal action.
If only to make it clear that, yes, she did rape you, and yes, you are dealing with it, and no, you probably won't be pressing charges. But even if you don't press charges, you should make sure that she knows exactly what she did, by explaining it to her in blunt terms, 1 on 1. So that you both can bury this thing, maybe even make an arrangement to pay for counseling of some sort, and so that she can learn from her mistakes, even if she won't have to be punished for them.
It's up to you, though.
If we're thinking about the same post then he was just asking a question that was answered.
Salvatron
Member
OP, RAINN has a national hotline setup that is completely anonymous, toll-free, and staffed by professionals who can help you.
https://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline
https://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline
Nose Master
Member
"Sorry about that whole forcing myself on you thing last night, we cool though?"
Just trying to get perspective toward how he's going to respond, whether it be legal action or give her a good talking.
I apologize to you, and the OP, if it was interpreted that way. Sincerely. That wasn't my intention.
I'm not saying the OP isn't serious about it, just that all acts of rape should be reported regardless of severity. But obviously it's the OP's call.
I really hope you understand it isn't my intention to insult anyone.
This OP. If she gets knocked up you're finished. At first I didn't care but this is a big detail.
A lot of people don't want to report things like this and I understand why. People want to just live a normal, simple life and not have the burden of this on their shoulders. Reporting it is admitting that you were indeed raped for many, an acknowledgement of what happened. People just want to go asleep in times like this and act like it never happened, wishing they could turn back the clock and go back to being normal.
These are normal feelings and are shared with people who are raped. People can feel tainted, and violated in times like this. But that's normal. You need time and space and you most importantly need to come to terms with that fact that it wasn't your fault and you're still you. Nobody can take that away from you. You Maybe feel like people will look at you differently after this, and that's hard. Just stay strong and realise that it gets better you can and will continue to live a normal life. Don't blame yourself and don't think coming to terms with what happened is weak or whatever because a lot of people don't understand how it feels.
These are normal feelings and are shared with people who are raped. People can feel tainted, and violated in times like this. But that's normal. You need time and space and you most importantly need to come to terms with that fact that it wasn't your fault and you're still you. Nobody can take that away from you. You Maybe feel like people will look at you differently after this, and that's hard. Just stay strong and realise that it gets better you can and will continue to live a normal life. Don't blame yourself and don't think coming to terms with what happened is weak or whatever because a lot of people don't understand how it feels.
While I agree with you his no sounded might have sounded more like "I don't want to do anything YOU might regret in the morning", in which case she thought he was only saying no for her sake, despite wanting it himself. She still shouldn't have done it but I dunno, I can understand why she wouldn't have thought he was saying "I don't want this". On the other hand I can understand why he would feel like he had been raped.
8 X 11 Printer Paper
Member
....No it's not.
Devolution
Member
I do now we cool. Just sayin' it takes a hell of a lot to even register what happened and because of how society treats victims, reporting it is a whole other can of worms.
Why would it be?
No?
I know we will regret this and you will probably regret this. But... why would this be a joke thread?
Why would it be...?
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
Going to play devil's advocate and say that there is a possibility that they don't think the OP should even be considering whether or not sex without consent is rape.
Utterly asinine post from you.
ZombieSupaStar
Member
HUELEN10
Member
A safeguard against STDs, such as a condom.
Condom
A preventative device. In this context, a condom. Which was removed.
i c, thnx
TwEE-N-Toast
Banned
But was she drunk too?
A prophylactic is a condom. Its the only one you would put on a guy.
Winterfang
Banned
Sounds like it, OP wanted to have sex with her but not in his current state. He probably didn't expected her to do it anyway and probably didn't expected to feel so bad about it.
Devolution
Member
He really shouldn't have to say anything. A comatose person is not an engaged and active consenting lover.
The op said no. He did not give consent and told the girl.
This is such a terrible post. Two sentences of ignorance.
You are in no way responsible for her actions. You got drunk, but under no circumstances ever does this give anyone the authority to have sex with you against your will.
You are putting blame on the op by asking that question here and now. You are insinuating that the op's actions (getting drunk) are to blame for what happened.
I'm afraid you were, I'm very sorry. When you have a chance to collect yourself, I'd report it as soon as possible. No one should be taken advantage of.
Good post.
Does it matter? Should you not be charged if you kill someone while driving drunk?
OP, I am terribly, terribly sorry for you. This never should have happened, and it absolutely isn't, in no way shape or form, is your fault. If you think you can do it, please report it to the police, and perhaps see a doctor to deal with how you're feeling.
When someone says no like that AND is already passed out, you stop or else it's rape. There's no gray area here.
I know what you're trying to say but it reads the same.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
"Let's not do this" should be enough.
So what about him being unconscious? No finality there?
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