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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
dripdripsplash
Member
Okay i need some tips.
Invites this cute girl out who was working at a book shop I was randomly visiting. She was flirting a bit and she looked cute so I asked her out and She said yes and we're really knocking it off, we have good conversation, she's funny, cute, everything.
But I usually don't date, most of the girls I've been with has been someone I already know, gotten drunk with and then had sex, then continued a relationship from there.
This is my first "inviting some stranger out" thing I've done. We went to our first date and she was adamant on a second and planned a third too. We went to the second, awesome thing too. But I'm just having this dumb though of when there is "supposed" to happen something. Like a kiss or sex. Its stupid because of course there isn't a set rule but I guess I just wanted people's commments on it. She clearly wants to go to more dates so that's that.
Invites this cute girl out who was working at a book shop I was randomly visiting. She was flirting a bit and she looked cute so I asked her out and She said yes and we're really knocking it off, we have good conversation, she's funny, cute, everything.
But I usually don't date, most of the girls I've been with has been someone I already know, gotten drunk with and then had sex, then continued a relationship from there.
This is my first "inviting some stranger out" thing I've done. We went to our first date and she was adamant on a second and planned a third too. We went to the second, awesome thing too. But I'm just having this dumb though of when there is "supposed" to happen something. Like a kiss or sex. Its stupid because of course there isn't a set rule but I guess I just wanted people's commments on it. She clearly wants to go to more dates so that's that.
ZackieChan
Member
dripdripsplash
Member
Denmark.
We get drunk a lot here.
Don't know if its a dating style, I just do it a lot more that way, first making out/having sex, then going on dates afterwards.
LucidMomentum
Member
So you typically date people you've slept with first, but this time it's the other way around?
Do you both drink?
Does she seem like she'd be down to have sex?
Seems like you're just having a different timeline than usual and it's freaking you out. If you're having a good time and it's all enjoyable, who cares? If you want to kiss / make out / fuck, just talk to her about it.
Most people say asking for consent can ruin the mood but lets be honest. If someone is in the mood and into you asking won't matter that much.*
*You can ask in a flirty way too, you don't have to just flat out go WANNA FUCK?
dripdripsplash
Member
Its the other way around yes. And yes that might be why I'm freaking out lol. We both drink too. And I am having a great time.
I think you've helped me with coming to grips with what I'm really worried about, because I'm honestly not just in it just for the casual sex, she seems like the relationship type girl (not marriage lol just gf) I guess I'm just worried if she feels the same or not? How she feels basically about me.
I should just ask her, how she thinks the dates are going etc. come into the conversation that way.
I must say (this is my first time asking for advice on girls on the internet) it can go wrong if you don't know anything and just do whatever. Fucker in another thread says something along the line of "touch her on her shoulder, if she responds favorably take her home for sex if not cut her off"
Jesus 😂😂😂
But thank you for the comments.
That my profile pic is me holding a phallic symbol?
The reality is i was just amazed at how large my cucumbers had gotten and someone thought it would be a funny pic to take.
Send her a text message a few days in saying hello blah blah, add a photo of you doing something cool or some unique photo of your destination. She'll reply with "😍" and some variation of she's jealous of your trip or she misses you or she wishes she could join.
always crazy bacon
Banned
That's how it's done. Pro tips.
Ghostshark
Member
Well, I've just run into a situation that I'm not sure how to approach. I've been using free dating sites and apps because, well, why not. Worst that'll happen is that I just never talk to the person again. Wrong!
I've frequented a bar a block away times a week for the last several years. There's a very attractive, but more importantly, kind waitress there that I would ask out in a heartbeat. That is, If she didn't work at a place I go to frequently with my father.
A friend of mine went "SURPRISE" and apparently made an account for me on match.com because he thought that my dating experiences have been amazingly awful (which they admitting have.) I couldn't exactly tell my friend he was an idiot for wasting money on a site like this, so I said "sure, thanks, I'll use it." So I do, make a profile, follow all the instructions, and it matches me up with 10 women.
The very first match, with a 100 percent match rate, is the waitress I see multiple times a week. It's definitely her. I match everything in the profile except body type (I'm a bit chunky, but I've never found this to be a problem because I'm comfortable with how I am. Plus I'm losing weight at a healthy pace, I'm happy with myself.) I know she had a huge jerk boyfriend that she broke up with, which is obviously why she's on the site.
Now, the obvious thing to do would be to pretend I never saw her profile, which is still questionable because I'm fairly certain she'll see that I saw her. As much as I would love to "just ask her out already," I don't want to ruin my favorite bar if this becomes a disaster. I think the best thing to do is to send her an innocent message like "hey, small world! I hope you're having a great day!" or something similar.
Any thoughts or advice?
I've frequented a bar a block away times a week for the last several years. There's a very attractive, but more importantly, kind waitress there that I would ask out in a heartbeat. That is, If she didn't work at a place I go to frequently with my father.
A friend of mine went "SURPRISE" and apparently made an account for me on match.com because he thought that my dating experiences have been amazingly awful (which they admitting have.) I couldn't exactly tell my friend he was an idiot for wasting money on a site like this, so I said "sure, thanks, I'll use it." So I do, make a profile, follow all the instructions, and it matches me up with 10 women.
The very first match, with a 100 percent match rate, is the waitress I see multiple times a week. It's definitely her. I match everything in the profile except body type (I'm a bit chunky, but I've never found this to be a problem because I'm comfortable with how I am. Plus I'm losing weight at a healthy pace, I'm happy with myself.) I know she had a huge jerk boyfriend that she broke up with, which is obviously why she's on the site.
Now, the obvious thing to do would be to pretend I never saw her profile, which is still questionable because I'm fairly certain she'll see that I saw her. As much as I would love to "just ask her out already," I don't want to ruin my favorite bar if this becomes a disaster. I think the best thing to do is to send her an innocent message like "hey, small world! I hope you're having a great day!" or something similar.
Any thoughts or advice?
Count Dookkake
Member
OT7: Let's Fool Around!
PixelatedBookake
Junior Member
What are you drinking?
Count Dookkake
Member
A couple fingers of whiskey.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Be able to finish those off in 3 minutes.
Wouldn't do that in your car tho
Gimme
Sorry didn't mean to sound like a jerk or anything. I just think it's pretty rare to find people that you find both beautiful and intelligent and not build a relationship. But it says more about me I'm sure.
Have you started dating yet?
Clay Davis
Member
Good morning dating gaf, how's everyone holding up?
Not much to report really. Things are going well and we made it official a few days ago which was a tense time because she was being vague and sent a message that simply said "we need to talk about things". Normally that means it's over or something has happened and you know me, my overthinking kicked in to a point where I was sweating and fidgeting when we met later that night, and it turned out to be the complete opposite of what I thought it would be.
I have to stop jumping to the conclusions, it's a daily struggle with everything but I'm trying.
Apart from that, things are good. We see each other regularly, we talk almost everyday and plans for our first weekend away and slowly but surely coming together, it's proving difficult to find the time right now. Work is very demanding for her and with Summer around the corner I'll be working weekends again, but I think we'll get there. It's something we both want and we know where we to want to go, just need to find the right time that works for both of us.
Sorry, I hope it's okay to post and not need any advice.
Not much to report really. Things are going well and we made it official a few days ago which was a tense time because she was being vague and sent a message that simply said "we need to talk about things". Normally that means it's over or something has happened and you know me, my overthinking kicked in to a point where I was sweating and fidgeting when we met later that night, and it turned out to be the complete opposite of what I thought it would be.
I have to stop jumping to the conclusions, it's a daily struggle with everything but I'm trying.
Apart from that, things are good. We see each other regularly, we talk almost everyday and plans for our first weekend away and slowly but surely coming together, it's proving difficult to find the time right now. Work is very demanding for her and with Summer around the corner I'll be working weekends again, but I think we'll get there. It's something we both want and we know where we to want to go, just need to find the right time that works for both of us.
Sorry, I hope it's okay to post and not need any advice.
dripdripsplash
Member
Sounds great! You seem stressed out though, take a deep breath and be glad about it for a bit. Might help.
names2hard4you
Member
Holy crap, I knew this new picture was good, but not this good. I can't hold all these matches. Goodness. I have a date setup for next week, rock climbing. Decided to start changing up my date routines, coffee and stuff was beginning to get stale. Things are looking up!
Good luck, again.
ZackieChan
Member
So you're turning down a potentially great relationship because you might have to eat somewhere else with your dad?
Just talk to her and ask her out of there's a vibe.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
well, given the circumstances it would probably be best to just ask her out via the dating app.
For sure, just saying that I've seen this kind of thing crash and burn many times. Just last weekend I was out with a few friends having drinks. A friend of my close friend who I don't really know is there and plastered and hitting on a bartender hard. She was cute, friendly and cordial, but also very clearly not interested. Yet buddy was convinced he had a shot and kept on trying. It got more awkward and uncomfortable the longer it went on.
LucidMomentum
Member
Larp, ask her out via the app. That way she doesn't feel pressured to be cordial just because she's at her job.
If it doesn't work out, then don't make it awkward when you see her next. Don't even bring it up.
If she says yes, after a while she might put two and two together but eh, if she's into you she probably won't mind that you happen to frequent her place of work on occasion.
Also:
Happy to offer my advice! Basically if she seems like someone you want to pursue a longer term relationship with, then yeah you're just going to have to talk to her about how things are going and so on. Then you can bring up the physical aspects of the relationship too.
But yeah, just doing a vaguely implicit request for physical contact by touching her on the shoulder and that automatically meaning she's down for sex and dumping her if she doesn't see it the same way as you did is kind of reductive and ridiculous.
I mean, there are implicit ways to initiate / ask for consent, but someone responding positively or not negatively to your hand on their shoulder or what not isn't enough for me IMO.
But if you've been on a few dates she'll probably be open to talking about things. If not, you'll either have to work at her pace or decide if it's worth being patient.
If it doesn't work out, then don't make it awkward when you see her next. Don't even bring it up.
If she says yes, after a while she might put two and two together but eh, if she's into you she probably won't mind that you happen to frequent her place of work on occasion.
Also:
Happy to offer my advice! Basically if she seems like someone you want to pursue a longer term relationship with, then yeah you're just going to have to talk to her about how things are going and so on. Then you can bring up the physical aspects of the relationship too.
But yeah, just doing a vaguely implicit request for physical contact by touching her on the shoulder and that automatically meaning she's down for sex and dumping her if she doesn't see it the same way as you did is kind of reductive and ridiculous.
I mean, there are implicit ways to initiate / ask for consent, but someone responding positively or not negatively to your hand on their shoulder or what not isn't enough for me IMO.
But if you've been on a few dates she'll probably be open to talking about things. If not, you'll either have to work at her pace or decide if it's worth being patient.
The Filipina I've been seeing ended it last night. She texted me on my way home that she didn't wanna keep doing this and had a lot of shit on her mind that she was stressing over. The night before she told me a lot of shit she was dealing with and she revealed even more last night, so I could definitely sympathize. She said she just didn't have time to be dating and shit unless it was gonna be permanent, which it was never going to be because she finally revealed her age. She's 31. I'm 25 and the age difference kinda bothers me too so I get it. I feel kinda bummed about it since I was warming up to her more and she was nice to be with. Her situation really sucks though and she's keeping me updated. I hope everything goes well for her.
I keep setting a day/time for myself to ask her out, I keep getting nervous and pussy-ing out and ending up depressed. I need to stop doing this, because it'll never happen that way and I've been doing for weeks.
The weird thing is that I don't even think it would devestate me or anything if she said no (which I'm really sure she wouldn't and that makes it worse). It's just too fucking convenient to jack myself off and stay in my comfort zone.
The weird thing is that I don't even think it would devestate me or anything if she said no (which I'm really sure she wouldn't and that makes it worse). It's just too fucking convenient to jack myself off and stay in my comfort zone.
LucidMomentum
Member
Exactly.
Just ask her out already.
You're scared because deep down rejection can suck.
But like, don't be afraid of rejection. You'll get rejected sometimes.
Better to go for it and see what happens than not take the risk and beat yourself up over it.
Invite her over for your third date (or during your third date) and make a move (not necessarily in that order).
Stop jerking off and turn off the porn. That will motivate you. Have some willpower.
Anytime I go a few weeks without a date, I stop masturbating and within a few days, I meet someone new. It works.
ZackieChan
Member
I don't have context here, but Jack off then ask her. You'll be in IDGAF mode.
See if she's down to fill around in her car. Three minutes in heaven.
LucidMomentum
Member
I have a two seater. I've made out in the passenger seat with the lady on top of me but man was that even a bit of a challenge.
Car fun isn't that great even in a large car. It's more for convenience or those really horny moments.
Now in high school I had a 4Runner with room for a bed in the trunk area. Sometimes my gal and I would drive out away from our parents and fool around.
I much prefer a room though.
*EDIT* Oh y'all man THAT thread. Lol.
. Why the fuck do I care about a girl I don't even want to care about?
Like, she's cool and super pretty, she just ticks off all the boxes visually.
But she's muslim and seemingly very religious, she only eats halal meat, doesn't even drink during ramadan and always wears long sleeve shirts and prays during work time. Contrary she doesn't wear a headscarf, in fact she's always well dressed, nothing shows muslim about the way she dresses except for always covering her arms and legs which you think is just part of her outfit.
She came from India last year and she's my work colleague, so I see her a lot.
I would really like to get to know her better but a) you don't shit where you eat, if I told her how I really feel it would be awkward for everyone around b) she's very religious, I'm not, different religion, so it wouldn't work out anyway which should be the dealbreaker, but it fucking isn't.
I tried to dismiss all that and be indifferent towards her which worked but I think she's getting close now with a coworker so I see it every day and this actually fucking bothers me, so much that I have to write this.
WHY THE FUCK? why can't it just be like whatever cause it's clear that it will not work.
Like, she's cool and super pretty, she just ticks off all the boxes visually.
But she's muslim and seemingly very religious, she only eats halal meat, doesn't even drink during ramadan and always wears long sleeve shirts and prays during work time. Contrary she doesn't wear a headscarf, in fact she's always well dressed, nothing shows muslim about the way she dresses except for always covering her arms and legs which you think is just part of her outfit.
She came from India last year and she's my work colleague, so I see her a lot.
I would really like to get to know her better but a) you don't shit where you eat, if I told her how I really feel it would be awkward for everyone around b) she's very religious, I'm not, different religion, so it wouldn't work out anyway which should be the dealbreaker, but it fucking isn't.
I tried to dismiss all that and be indifferent towards her which worked but I think she's getting close now with a coworker so I see it every day and this actually fucking bothers me, so much that I have to write this.
WHY THE FUCK? why can't it just be like whatever cause it's clear that it will not work.
Hey gaf, I'd like your thoughts in how to proceed in a couple of situations I'm in..
Bear in mind I've never been one to deal with girls who are already in realtionships.
Girl 1: Really cute japanese girl whose in the area for a contract job for 2 years.
We met on tinder and while still in the texting stages I asked if she was single, she told me she had a boyfriend and from that point onward that was the only time she has mentioned him. Regardless, we've gone out twice. I thought whatever.. we hit it off great and we have a lot in common, it'd be great to make a new friend and so because of that i kept my distance a bit. The thing is.. she is really into me, all the classic signs are there. Should I just keep going out with her? start physical contact and escalate and not worry about it?
Girl 2: Girl I met a few days ago at a mutual friends' dinner party. We hit it off great, I found it weird that she was asking me a lot of personal questions.. but lots of flirting between the two of us. All the other guests started joking saying that we made a great couple. But at one point when we were alone talking, she takes out her phone to call her boyfriend in front of me to ask how he was doing, then she goes right back to flirting like nothing happened. Before that i had no idea she was seeing anybody.. she gives me her number anyway and suggests that we go out and celebrate about a recent work promotion that I told her about. We haven't chatted since then and I have no problem asking her out, but I don't know if I should go through with it..
On a side note about the "calling the boyfriend in front of you" thing. This has been done by quite a few women who have been interested in me. Is this just them overplaying their taken status to seem more desirable? trying to provoke jealousy? or just a way for them to say "you know i have a boyfriend, so if anything happens between us you're responsible.."
Bear in mind I've never been one to deal with girls who are already in realtionships.
Girl 1: Really cute japanese girl whose in the area for a contract job for 2 years.
We met on tinder and while still in the texting stages I asked if she was single, she told me she had a boyfriend and from that point onward that was the only time she has mentioned him. Regardless, we've gone out twice. I thought whatever.. we hit it off great and we have a lot in common, it'd be great to make a new friend and so because of that i kept my distance a bit. The thing is.. she is really into me, all the classic signs are there. Should I just keep going out with her? start physical contact and escalate and not worry about it?
Girl 2: Girl I met a few days ago at a mutual friends' dinner party. We hit it off great, I found it weird that she was asking me a lot of personal questions.. but lots of flirting between the two of us. All the other guests started joking saying that we made a great couple. But at one point when we were alone talking, she takes out her phone to call her boyfriend in front of me to ask how he was doing, then she goes right back to flirting like nothing happened. Before that i had no idea she was seeing anybody.. she gives me her number anyway and suggests that we go out and celebrate about a recent work promotion that I told her about. We haven't chatted since then and I have no problem asking her out, but I don't know if I should go through with it..
On a side note about the "calling the boyfriend in front of you" thing. This has been done by quite a few women who have been interested in me. Is this just them overplaying their taken status to seem more desirable? trying to provoke jealousy? or just a way for them to say "you know i have a boyfriend, so if anything happens between us you're responsible.."
Think i beat some sort of record tonight: got stood up by a girl that i wasn't even trying to date. She seems to have blocked me on facebook too?
Downright baffling. We were fine as of Wednesday and i haven't the foggiest of what i did since then. I mean yeah, i'm kind of into her, but she's a fellow alumni so it's a "don't shit where you eat" situation and I've been staying back. She said she wanted to come out tonight for drinks and maybe food, presumably with a group of people (although nobody else materialized for that either). Her last text to me was Wednesday, barely 56 hours ago.
So 5:00-ish i text her telling her where i am. Get nothing by 5:30, tell her i'm going to a movie and will be available by 7 - 7:30. Movie's done by 8:00, so i text her again asking if she's in the area. Nothing.
By now i'm a little suspicious, so i look on facebook and she seems to have vanished. Once i got home, i started digging deeper and she's even de-tagged from images she should *really* be tagged in, like graduation photos where every other person is tagged, but i can still see her on messenger, where it says she's two hours idle, so she didn't delete her account or anything. I've been blocked before (political reasons), and what it was was that i could see their posts, just not link to their profile or interact with them. This is more like her being effaced from existence from my perspective, un-personed. Possibly a dicking with privacy settings?
Needless to say i'm feeling kind of low. Either got rejected by a friend for something i can't even comprehend, or i'm just that repulsive to be ghosted by a girl i wasn't even pursuing, and wasn't leaving an impression thereof (as far as i know?)
Edit: I can see her as active on chat. Would that happen if i had gotten blocked?
Downright baffling. We were fine as of Wednesday and i haven't the foggiest of what i did since then. I mean yeah, i'm kind of into her, but she's a fellow alumni so it's a "don't shit where you eat" situation and I've been staying back. She said she wanted to come out tonight for drinks and maybe food, presumably with a group of people (although nobody else materialized for that either). Her last text to me was Wednesday, barely 56 hours ago.
So 5:00-ish i text her telling her where i am. Get nothing by 5:30, tell her i'm going to a movie and will be available by 7 - 7:30. Movie's done by 8:00, so i text her again asking if she's in the area. Nothing.
By now i'm a little suspicious, so i look on facebook and she seems to have vanished. Once i got home, i started digging deeper and she's even de-tagged from images she should *really* be tagged in, like graduation photos where every other person is tagged, but i can still see her on messenger, where it says she's two hours idle, so she didn't delete her account or anything. I've been blocked before (political reasons), and what it was was that i could see their posts, just not link to their profile or interact with them. This is more like her being effaced from existence from my perspective, un-personed. Possibly a dicking with privacy settings?
Needless to say i'm feeling kind of low. Either got rejected by a friend for something i can't even comprehend, or i'm just that repulsive to be ghosted by a girl i wasn't even pursuing, and wasn't leaving an impression thereof (as far as i know?)
Edit: I can see her as active on chat. Would that happen if i had gotten blocked?
No, when you are blocked on facebook you don't see the person at all. You can't even open his/her profile.
ZackieChan
Member
She's probably already forgotten about you. You'd best do the same.
Why is it a problem if she's a fellow alumni?
Girl 1: That's a damn tricky scenario to be in because it has all kinds of moral and emotional implications. If you truly feel like it would be wrong to see her romantically and make a move on her, then have a talk with her about the boyfriend and tell her that it doesn't feel right seeing her romantically, and suggest hanging out as platonic friends. If she's not cool with it, then move on. Trust your gut if it doesn't feel right.
However, on the other hand it could be a case where might be lying about having a boyfriend to throw you off. Regardless of the fact, I think the boyfriend needs to get brought up again or else it's going to eat away at your conscious and get worse over time.
I was in a somewhat similar situation where the girl I met off OKC was in the US to go to grad school from Mexico. I never asked if she had a boyfriend because I honestly didn't care to ask. However, she only told me about the other guy back in Mexico after we had sex the first time and that she was being made to marry the guy because he payed for her to go to grad school and his social status. She then asked for my opinion on what I think she should do which I didn't have a clear cut answer to although I said that she should leave him not out of selfishness but because she changed being in the US.
I didn't care in the moment because it I got some but after I saw her the second time, it didn't feel right. Before and after she moved on from me, she had been seeing other dudes casually as well to help her figure out if she should leave the guy or stay with him. I never found out what became of it because she flew back to Mexico a few months later.
Girl 2: It sounds she was flirting with you to stroke her ego and make sure that she's still got it. Unless she's in an open relationship, this something you can ignore or agree to the idea but as I said before, explicitly imply as platonic friends so she doesn't get any ideas.
artsi
Member
Yesterday's movie night was nice. She came to my place, and brought my favourite chips and dip with her.
I very briefly mentioned them in a conversation so that impressed me big time.
We watched a horror movie, then talked, cuddled and made out for a couple hours. No sex tho, she had work in the morning so she had to leave. I said she could stay the night and she hesitated a bit but decided to leave after all.
She was more relaxed now but still seems kind of shy / reserved and doesn't show her excitement that much, I don't know what to make out of it.
Maybe she's just slow to warm up, dunno? She's not active, but isn't pushing back either and agrees to pretty much anything I suggest. We'll be seeing each other again in a few days.
I very briefly mentioned them in a conversation so that impressed me big time.
We watched a horror movie, then talked, cuddled and made out for a couple hours. No sex tho, she had work in the morning so she had to leave. I said she could stay the night and she hesitated a bit but decided to leave after all.
She was more relaxed now but still seems kind of shy / reserved and doesn't show her excitement that much, I don't know what to make out of it.
Maybe she's just slow to warm up, dunno? She's not active, but isn't pushing back either and agrees to pretty much anything I suggest. We'll be seeing each other again in a few days.
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