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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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I wasn't here for that first post unfortunately, but sounds like I missed something there. And yes I meant the kid-woman.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Personally I am not a believer in the friendzone. If you have decided you want to stick around in a relationship where the attraction is only going one way no one has put you in a zone of friendship. You're just chilling there out of your own free will.
If you are doing things for someone you like that you wouldn't do for your other friends and they are not reciprocating any special treatment back towards you, maybe consider you are wasting your time.
I dunno, for me since you don't have to be this person's friend it just seems more projection than anything. If you care too much about the friendship then stick around but you haven't been put in a box any different than literally all that person's other friends. Were they all friendzoned too?
She's a bitch but these guys are giving it up too easy if all she has to do is pretend she is into them and she is getting any tangible useful shit.
Like I went to the bar friday and it was a girls birthday amd I wished her a happy birthday and we were talking a bit. Her friend is like "you should buy us drinks." I was like naw b, that aint happening.
I'm not buying 5 people drinks just because you show a bit of interest. Just extrapolate to friendships. You dont give inordinate shit to someone just because they flirt with you. That's a fools game.
If you are doing things for someone you like that you wouldn't do for your other friends and they are not reciprocating any special treatment back towards you, maybe consider you are wasting your time.
I dunno, for me since you don't have to be this person's friend it just seems more projection than anything. If you care too much about the friendship then stick around but you haven't been put in a box any different than literally all that person's other friends. Were they all friendzoned too?
She's a bitch but these guys are giving it up too easy if all she has to do is pretend she is into them and she is getting any tangible useful shit.
Like I went to the bar friday and it was a girls birthday amd I wished her a happy birthday and we were talking a bit. Her friend is like "you should buy us drinks." I was like naw b, that aint happening.
I'm not buying 5 people drinks just because you show a bit of interest. Just extrapolate to friendships. You dont give inordinate shit to someone just because they flirt with you. That's a fools game.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Sounds like an adventure lol
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Wait, the "sick" woman in your story is the one you got preggerrs? I am confused...
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Two different girls. I thought he might have been asking if I still talked to the first girl, which I don't.
I do still talk to the girl I just got pregnant though.
I take this more as you just not getting caught in a friendzone, not that they don't exist.
Mihael Mello Keehl
Banned
I dont do online dating. And you seem way too agressive over my opinions. Chill bro
Clearly I don't know your friend, but she seems to have some security and/or confidence issues.
But touche, you win the argument. ^_^
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I think the thing was I was relatively new to being kinda attractive at that point tbh. Before that first post here I was 245 and girls seemed to not take interest in me. Since then I've been fairly consistently getting better, no doubt, with help from you guiz.
She definitely has problems. That's for sure. lol
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
I have nothing personal against you, but you sure have many counter intuitive views on dating, I am merely pointing them out.
I think the thing was I was relatively new to being kinda attractive at that point tbh. Before that first post here I was 245 and girls seemed to not take interest in me. Since then I've been fairly consistently getting better, no doubt, with help from you guiz.
Yo I totally missed the boat on the peak of my hotness. Gettin googly eyes all the time was nice, but I was 21 and a virgin with no experience and zero confidence.
Your original post about the sick-all-the-time lady seems... really suspect. Brad Pitt rule?
Mihael Mello Keehl
Banned
Thats just how I think honestly. My bad maybe I shouldve made a general thread or not ask at all.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
It ended up working out for a bit, actually. I wouldn't change what I did too much. You can follow the rollercoaster further along in that thread if you'd like the rest of that story haha
Gotdatmoney
Member
If your methods work for you I think its fine to state them. It's all just advice in the end. But if they don't actually yield results, doesn't it make more sense to just concede what you're doing isn't working?
That's the main thing I think people have to get out of the thread.
You can ask, but you can't really get upset if our answers don't match with yours
Most people here do online dating and waiting to 'get to know' someone simply isn't something you can do if you actually want to go on dates. Even in real life, people love confidence and just asking someone out before getting to know them 110% is a huge show of confidence.Again, you do you etc etc.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I don't really see a difference. Is every person you are friends with in the friendzone then?
always crazy bacon
Banned
Please do make a general thred, just to see how right you are.
c'mon man, it's not rocket science.
friend zone
noun informal
a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other.
it's in the oxford dictionary for crying out loud.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Some people aren't like you. Some people get stuck having that feeling, and hold on for a long ass time, even though the girl is not interested in them romantically at all.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I understand what unreciprocated romantic interest is. I don't understand how you put someone in a special zone by wanting to be friends though. I don't understand "he put me in the friendzone" or "she friendzoned me" though.
You mean they rejected you and you still wanted to be friends? Okay, but that isn't really something that needs to be made so dramatic. You chose to stick around.
Nothing about what I have said has anything to do with me personally. I just dont really think this term is a huge thing.
It's faster to type "I'm on the friendzone!" than it is to type "I'm romantically interested in her/him but her/him just wants to be friend, I'm still hanging around her/him either way though!".
no, it's "they rejected you and you stick around still wanting to be romantically involved with this person" .
yes, people choose to stick around, for the sole reason that they think they still have a chance.
to sum it up, people are stupid. Love, infatuation, whatever you want to call it, makes people stupid.
Just because you've (and I'm directly referring to you here Gotdatmoney) realized that sticking around is dumb doesn't mean others have, or can, or have the ability to.
Mihael Mello Keehl
Banned
Ya know nvm.. yall probably right. I give up the coworker then
Dr Duncan Steel
Member
So a classmate I just happen to have a crush on decides to Facebook message me to "hang and have brew sometime". We get together and it's great, we pregame a six-pack in her car cause why not and listen to David Bowie and just talk. Nothing happens but it's ok.
St. Patrick's Day happens she suggests that we decide to bar-hop, just the two of us. We get hammered and by the end of the night I slide into first base and we make out. But all our energy is so drained and we just pass out for two hours in her car. We both get to our homes and she texts me she had a really good time. And would be down to hang out and drink sometime again but told me she needs to slow it down with the alcohol. Which is 1000 percent fine with me.
Now later that week we both got assigned as partners in this project and basically had the whole day together and later that day we had dinner for which I paid for everything and it was a bit more bittersweet than usual. Still an alright time but something was off. She didn't want to drink anymore cause she wanted to slow down doing so, which is completely fine by me. It was just a hug that ended the night and that was it. She says she's having a thing for her birthday this Thursday and she invited me soooooooo let's see what happens from there. So my gut feeling is to really go for it that day but this time it might be a party with I think her co-workers and I only know her. I'm not entirely sure this will end well. Who knows. She's also moving to another city in three months.
Note that I didn't say the word date once.
I just want to hear a hot take on this one from you guys.
St. Patrick's Day happens she suggests that we decide to bar-hop, just the two of us. We get hammered and by the end of the night I slide into first base and we make out. But all our energy is so drained and we just pass out for two hours in her car. We both get to our homes and she texts me she had a really good time. And would be down to hang out and drink sometime again but told me she needs to slow it down with the alcohol. Which is 1000 percent fine with me.
Now later that week we both got assigned as partners in this project and basically had the whole day together and later that day we had dinner for which I paid for everything and it was a bit more bittersweet than usual. Still an alright time but something was off. She didn't want to drink anymore cause she wanted to slow down doing so, which is completely fine by me. It was just a hug that ended the night and that was it. She says she's having a thing for her birthday this Thursday and she invited me soooooooo let's see what happens from there. So my gut feeling is to really go for it that day but this time it might be a party with I think her co-workers and I only know her. I'm not entirely sure this will end well. Who knows. She's also moving to another city in three months.
Note that I didn't say the word date once.
I just want to hear a hot take on this one from you guys.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
You said "You're staying at your own will", but a lot of people, unlike you and that opinion, are legit stuck. Like they're mesmerized and hopeful that one day they can figure out how to win this girl over.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Again I dont really see how whether you can get out or leave matters to a definition.
Mainly my issue is, I don't see how what you are explaining is being "put" in the friendzone. It just comes across as people not being able to have friends once an admittal of interest occurs. If someone like you and you just are not interested in them like that you've now "put" them in some weird zone opposed to where you put all your other friends?
It just strikes me as ridiculous. If the rejected person sticks areound and they want to call it a friendzone okay. But I dont really see how they were "put" there. I guess you put yourself there?
As a side note I dont think all these peoplw are dumb. I get what unreciprocated feelings are. I just dont agree with the projection of those issues on to other people.
Yeah what you are saying with this, I do not agree with. Like at all. No one is legitinately stuck being the friends with an unrequited lover. I dont believe this at all. You can leave. (This isn't implying it is easy but we are talking definitions)
But different strokes I suppose.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
First off, don't post this in that Utah alcohol law thread, you'll literally get murdered.
Second, sounds like you just had an off date, but if she asked you to see her again, she's wants to see if it'll get better.
How many people in this thread, have been completely blind that they're just a friend, but they're saying things like "I love this girl" or "She's the one I want." or something similar.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Let me hit you with a question. How do you escape the "frindzone"?
Pining like that is not a good way to be man, women can smell that and it puts them off even more. If it happens it happens, else move on
lol that's the thing though.. they can't leave.
or they don't have the power to, I dunno. Either way it exists because both parties involved make it so, it's never one sided (well, it is, but... you know what I mean)
you move on. For some that's as easy as blinking. Others it can take days, months, if not years.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Eh. . .
These 2 things are very different. I am not arguing anything about the logistics or emotions involved with unrequited love. I am very literally saying you can leave this place if you so choose. I am not saying its easy or a quick process.
I dont get how both parties make it so. If you take up an offer of friendship how is that on the other person? We are not a mind reading species.
So is getting out of the "friendzone" dependent on just you or the other person? Because you just said 2 people make it so.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I know a dude, we'll call him Mortimer, personally, who was so far deep in a friendzone, I was embarassed for him. My buddy's sister is like drop dead, cover model, gorgeous. She would ask Mortimer to do things all the time, every party I was at, they would be in a room talking together, she would let him sleep in the same bed (but never ever close, i mean like across the bed. I know, because the fuckers slept in my spot I called earlier in the night once.)
Yet, Mortimer was maaaaaaadddlly in love with her. She would post messages he sent to her on facebook from him, where he'd be saying things like "I care about you so much, I understand you don't want to be in a relationship right now, but I'll be here for you forever." with her saying "I love this boy", a bunch of other shit too. The brother, my friend, told me that Mortimer would tell him that he loved her, and to ask her to give him a chance and shit.
It was pitiful. But dude was like a 4-5/10 and the girl was like an 11/10.
She ended up getting a boyfriend who was like a 10/10, and that's what broke Mortimer out of it.
Mihael Mello Keehl
Banned
not friendzone tho just a fool
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
That was rough to read. I feel so sorry for Mortimer
It was tough to witness.
Now you're getting it! You gotta be a fool to be in a friend zone. 😉
Miles Quaritch
Member
20 plus dates? Sounds like you're nearly there mate, just keep going and hanging around her. She might see your worth any day now and all the hand holding and cuddling will pay off in spades. You just have to believe, believe you'll be kissing her any day now...all those kissing orgies are just practice for the main event..which is you.
Are you ready fam? Shit's going to be blow your cock off amazing.
Man, I have to believe she'd have made a move by now if she was interested in more than just being a friend. No-one goes on 20+ 'dates' and leaves things vague if they are interested in more.
No-one.
Are you ready fam? Shit's going to be blow your cock off amazing.
Man, I have to believe she'd have made a move by now if she was interested in more than just being a friend. No-one goes on 20+ 'dates' and leaves things vague if they are interested in more.
No-one.
Miles Quaritch
Member
The friendzone does exist and it goes hand in hand with nice guy syndrome.
These are people who think that even though they've been rejected or haven't had the balls to actually do anything will continue to hang around and do all kinds of shit for the person thinking that each act is earning them relationship points that they think they can cash in at some point.
The problem? These people will never, ever end up being more than a pathetic hanger on, hoping for something that will never happen and becoming more and more bitter as the realisation dawns that no matter he does, the other person will never like them as more than a friend. These people then they go online and bitch about how all women are bitches, etc and that they, the nice guy, just can't catch a break because women like to be treated like shit.
And eventually then they turn to PUA bullshittery or whatever garbage is out there no realising they are the problem.
Count Dookkake
Member
Riiiight.
And how many dates have you been on where this has been a problem?
And out of how many dates was that?
Haha I would imagine that. How old was he and the 11/10-girl?
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Did you see your PMs?
Wow, damn...
Okay, now I'm curious. Is this girl really that hot? Or was the situation that sad?
I would say the girl is a 10/10 in a general perspective. And the situation was that sad. So both!
Gotdatmoney
Member
So he escaped from the zone he put himself in. Which is basically what I said. You can get out of this shit if you really want to. There is no voodoo. Being/acting pathetic isn't voodoo or magic or w/e.
For reference I do actually feel bad for these people but like I also do not really see what they want from the situation. Besides not leading people on what is the realistic expectation of people in the "friendzone"?
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
He didn't escape, she just became unavailable.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Yeah I really don't get this shit obviously lol
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