always crazy bacon
Banned
We need an update on your wedding prep status.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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We need an update on your wedding prep status.
She must have met someone who distracted her from you. Ex-boyfriend/ party guy. Maybe both.
Anyway, only chance to keep things going is calling it off first. Say you were really into her but now you feel she isn't interested anymore, so you'll call things off to give her the space you feel she needs to have for herself right now. Drop contact and don't answer the first message she is going to send in reply.
She hasn't contacted me at all and I only have her on my phone and WhatsApp.. but yeah she would blame everything on me and make me feel like I did everything wrong even when she would screw up. It was my first relationship so I didn't know what was going on. I let her use and take advantage of me. And the fucked up thing is I still have feelings for her, even though I broke up with her after finding out that she was sexting her ex and another guy.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Nearly everything is done, we're just counting down the clock. The troublemaker (the one who had beef with a couple of other people) isn't coming. I didn't do anything to cause that, she just decided she didn't want any issues taking away from the day so she decided not to invite her Dress should be done in a couple of weeks, cake is ordered, hotel is booked, location for the ceremony booked, invitations gone out and RSVP's for most people have come in.
Shit's getting real. In a rare moment of oversharing, after everything was done, I was treated to some pretty great sex for being so supportive. Almost made it worth it...almost.
I get it, first relationships are the hardest ones to get over, but this wasn't a good relationship for you and it wasn't one to that should have started you on the road to dating and everything that comes with it, which is why you need to cut her out of your life. You need to block and delete her number. The longer you put it off, the harder it will be.
It'll take time to get over this, first relationships often do, but you need to start the process now and part of that process is ensuring she can't contact you and you can't contact her in a moment of weakness and there will be plenty of those moments.
Hm, so putting in nice guy points to the girl slot machine does result in sex? Interesting...
ZackieChan
Member
Meet me somewhere, mother fucker...
always crazy bacon
Banned
Not when you're in a relationship already, then it's "reward sex" hopefully it does not turn into "I want a new kitchen/carpets/car/holiday" sex after the honeymoon period. #beenthere
ZackieChan
Member
ZackieChan
Member
It's like being an actual parent, without any of the benefits...
artsi
Member
The kids are doing their best to make my sex life damn difficult, I admit.
But I'm still going to bang their mom ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ZackieChan
Member
🤣🤣🤣
Hope her tubes are tied.
I will be careful. Thank you. I feel like that's not really what he's interested in (we've been talking for a while now) so I'm hoping he just wants to be friends
this might be a strange question.. but does he know of your platonic ways?
like, does he know you have 0 interest in sex?
Ah, I see. Good luck on the path to friendship with him. I'm rooting for you.
I've done it a couple of times but only because I might actually have to be contacted about work outside the office which is why I asked Leeness about her line of work. Seems like the guy just wants to be friends to me. Or at least I hope so considering he is engaged.
So you're saying it could be nothing?
I hope I can at least be friends with him No, nothing that personal. He knows I'm single though, but that's it.
Thank you, I hope that he and I can be friends too
Nope! Clients and co-workers get my email and skype name. That's it. I like being able to turn off their ability to IM me once I'm done for the day.
I see. If you end up getting a little closer as friends and you're comfortable with it then it might be worth mentioning your asexuality. Assuming he's a good person it might actually help you succeed in making him a good friend. Additionally he can bring this information to his fiance (if it comes up) which will future proof any problems that might arise from you being a close friend of his who's also female.
Just a thought!
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Only when work has phone rosters - in the military, we all had each other's contact information. I also had plenty of work wives, and I contacted them for personal reasons.
At my current job, we just use email and have work phones with email access. One woman I travel with has my work #. I may give her my personal number because we've actually become friends.
But I like to maintain a divide.
Christ, really, it's not THAT unusual to give a colleague your cell phone number. If I don't show up to work two days in a row I'd like someone to be able to contact me to make sure I'm not dead or something. Jumping to the immediate conclusion of "OMG HE GAVE YOU A PERSONAL NUMBER HE WANTS TO FUCK YOU", when he is a coworker and engaged is really, really ridiculous. Shit, that's downright disrespectful to the guy, as it automatically assumes he's going to be unfaithful to his wife because he had lunch with another lady once or twice and gave her a number. Let's not go all Pence in here and assume people of the opposite sex can't be friends or something.
The girl I've been seeing over the past month is a little more into me than I am into her, so I need to let her know that I don't think this can go any further. Last time we hung out I told her I didn't feel that initial connection when we first met, but that I wanted to keep seeing each other to see where it went. She said that most guys she dates end up just wanting to be friends with her. I've backed off a lot on texting since then and she's clearly starting to get pissed. I like hanging out with her, and we go out at the same bars so I know I'll see her around; but I can't see myself being in a serious relationship with her (or if I even want one at all right now).
I'm sending her some serious missed messages and I just need to be straight up with her I think. Ideally I'd like to keep something casual as a possibility, but it doesn't seem like that's something she'd be open to; she wants daily contact. How do I handle this? I can't think of how to send this text.
I'm sending her some serious missed messages and I just need to be straight up with her I think. Ideally I'd like to keep something casual as a possibility, but it doesn't seem like that's something she'd be open to; she wants daily contact. How do I handle this? I can't think of how to send this text.
Ultramantaro1
Member
Well, just call her.
names2hard4you
Member
I don't think it's ridiculous at all tbh, I don't ask for co-worker's personal numbers either. If I had a problem, I would call or message my boss, not a co-worker that does stuff completely unrelated to me, and reports to someone else. You are thinking very innocently about all this. He is a committed man. I'm pretty sure his soon to be wife wouldn't be too happy if suddenly Leeness's name kept popping up on his phone when he's off work. He's risking that by getting her number. Leeness doesn't want to overstep that boundary obviously so there's nothing for him to worry about, but by what I am reading it seems to me like he may be poking around at the idea of having a little something more than just a workplace relationship with her. Whether it is just a relationship or not, I have no clue. But again, it wouldn't seem ridiculous to me if he was looking for more.
Count Dookkake
Member
He's taking a dick pic as we speak.
I mean, I usually don't tell people that using the term. I usually just say perpetually single and always will be or something similar.
If we do ever talk more about things like that, I can always bring it up in more certain terms. But he knows it's just me and my cat lol.
I'm glad to hear you say that.Some of our work overlaps a lot--he's an IT systems admin while I do a lot of front end user troubleshooting. And that was kind of what happened the other day, someone was contacting me while I wasn't there for "urgent" help, so I IM'd him and asked if he could go see the person, and once that was resolved, he gave me his number if I ever needed him "in a hurry". 🤷
LucidMomentum
Member
I'm an instrumentation and controls engineer, so I work with a lot of control room HMIs as well as the backend stuff that pushes data to them.
However, at the end of the day our IT and Networking departments handle the actual machines and network so if I have a problem on that end or the regulatory agencies we work with have problems I have to talk to the IT guys for admin access, etc.
So I have most of them on speed dial for texting and such. But it's rare that we talk out of work unless it's about movies or stuff.
They're all males, however. So eh, it may be different for you but it may be not. Seems like a valid reason especially if he is away from his desk a lot with clients.
But still, tread lightly and if things get too awkward be honest with him about your perspective on physical intimacy and friendship, etc.
Ayy!
Make sure you give her daughter shit for cockblocking you.
1. Partners should be able to trust their SOs around other people of the same sex. The automatic jump to 'his wife wouldn't be too happy if he talked to another girl' says less about him and more about either you or the relationships you've been in. Hint: they didn't have enough trust in them.
2. I would prefer to be thought of as 'innocent' or 'naive' than to think that any interaction with a coworker is them trying to get into my pants. That's an incredibly bleak and somewhat lonely mindset to have in the workplace. People deserve the benefit of the doubt, at the very, very least.
3. Leeness works in IT. IT is usually separated into multiple groups trying to work together as a whole. Additionally, if something goes wrong in one part of IT, it's kind of an emergency, and getting in contact with the right person in the right department is pretty crucial. ON TOP OF THAT, non IT peeps will call IT all the time and call the wrong people while being immensely frustrated, that's just the nature of having to deal with people with who don't understand the nature of the beast. If Leeness's coworker is in a meeting or something and one of his department's servers exploded or something, likelihood is that she can get a hold of him on his cell faster than a work IM or e-mail.
Source of my info: My SO works in IT and deals with IT folks from other depts. all the time. He has personal numbers of all kinds of IT people from different depts. so that he can transfer problems quickly, as people don't always check their work IMs. He has female coworker's numbers too, and even talks to them outside of work hours sometimes. Somehow, I haven't dumped him yet.
Alternative source: I work in accounting and only my supervisor and my work buddy have my number. If something isn't balancing, they can wait until I'm not busy. When I worked retail I had a bunch of people's numbers for shift switching and whatnot.
In Leeness's scenario, jumping to the whole 'getting in the pants' thing is just overkill. Sure, maybe that's what he wants, but damn that's just a mean-spirited thing to think right off the bat. She works in IT (which is likely fast-paced), they have talked in the past like work buddies, and most importantly, he's already taken. No need to assume the worst unless he shows the worst.
Milly Osworth
Member
to be fair, 90% of people are likely to have this toxic mindset, which by default makes it the norm.
we'd all like to be in a relationship where our SO's 100% trust us and don't get jealous, but that rarely ever happens. It's human nature.
edit:
I was thinking of that very same gif above whenever Leeness said she'd rather not touch the subject of sex never being a possibility. If everyone involved is comfortable it would be better to throw it out there vs. not mentioning it.
let's take a step back and look at it from everyone's point of view:
the guy: won't make any unnecessary moves with the potential to ruin his friendship with Leeness and the marriage with his fiance.
the girlfriend: won't worry about the guy running off into the sunset with Leeness.
Leeness: won't worry about the guy making any unnecessary moves and ruining the friendship.
what are the cons here?
Gotdatmoney
Member
This is her coworker. At no point should they be discussing sexuality. This whole line of thought is weird as fuck to me. This shit is something you share with your good friends
or dating age fuck yeah
How about not talking about this because it isn't really necessary to toss out there.
if you've been following the train of thought here this was all under the assumption Leeness and her coworker became close friends outside of work.
Ultramantaro1
Member
I called her (went to voicemail) very casually, just asking her out on Saturday for a concert. If I get no answer or another declined invite with no re-schedule offer on her end, I'll leave it at that. Wait and see.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Aw shit, here we go. Tell me where old man. This has been a long time comin'!
Dammit, what do people use to host images these days?
Embarrassing, I'll be doing a service putting your old ass down!
Make it clear that you're not looking for anything serious right now. Don't leave any room for doubt. If you truly want to remain friends and you know she's not on the casual vibe, then add that you'd like to remain friends.
If you want a text, send something along these lines.
Hey, I've been thinking about this for a while and I'm not looking for anything serious right now. You're a great person and it'd be cool if we could remain friends because I enjoy hanging out with you, but I have to be honest about how I feel and I don't want to lead you on
That's something I threw together in about a minute...I'm sure you could do much better.
I sent something eerily similar to this prior to reading this, so I'm glad to see I wasn't too far off base. She responded with she's not looking for anything serious right now either, but thanks for letting her know. Not sure where that leaves things ¯\_(ツ
_/¯.always crazy bacon
Banned
I sent something eerily similar to this prior to reading this, so I'm glad to see I wasn't too far off base. She responded with she's not looking for anything serious right now either, but thanks for letting her know. Not sure where that leaves things ¯\_(ツ
Thanks, but no thanks. She'll have a serious boyfriend by the end of April.
Re: 3, that's not quite true. I could get a hold of him just as easily through work IM if he was in a meeting as he has it on his phone, just the same as WhatsApp. So...no advantages to having either or.
But yes, I am treating this as a coworker thing, and I will come and proclaim on Sunday that he hasn't messaged me over the weekend lol.
Yah, will do
Yeah no no no. He knows I'm single, that's it.
ZackieChan
Member
Gotdatmoney
Member
I have but the whole path to that point is still rather weird. If they become close friends does this information even need to be divulged? What does this do? Is it just to try and disarm potential conflict? Because if they are actually just friends it wont ever be an issue that needs sharing. I dunno, they idea that it would be a good thing to ahare just irks me. Like it shouldnt ve tossed out as some strategy. Just comes across awkward to me.
Yeah I follow haha
artsi
Member
lol I was too cocky, she cancelled tonight because of the daughter. Or some other reason, doesn't really matter.
Anyway I told her it's cool and to let me know when she has time, meanwhile I'm gonna go and arrange myself a date with someone else (that doesn't have kids) for tomorrow.
Ah, I see. For my SO he (or we rather, we both work for the state) can't really have his work stuff on his private phone for security purposes. It's not the first time I've seen this, but I shouldn't have assumed that, my bad.
Not at all. I still think you're right, that it was a work thing, and that I won't hear from him over the weekend haha.
Krauser Kat
Member
Get it!
LucidMomentum
Member
She probably has to give her daughter the "talk" now lol.
Not at all. I still think you're right, that it was a work thing, and that I won't hear from him over the weekend haha.
I love that in Dating Age we're all hoping he contacts you at a minimum so we can verify that you have been, in fact, friend zoned.
But it's cute in a way.
Been in a similar situation recently. It's tough, but you just have to bite the bullet at one point and tell her that you can't commit. In the end it's neither fair for her, or yourself, by continuing like this. Difference for me was that this was over multiple months, making it even harder.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
So this morning the topic of conversation with the girl I'm dating was "bad tinder dates"
She had some funny stories of artsy fartsy, dead beat men who made her pay for their drinks, and other fucked up shit that I can't believe dude's say on the first date "I hate my parents, I changed my name recently so they won't be able to track me down and find me... I also got a vasectomy and I don't want kids... " etc.
So naturally it was my turn, and I told her about how I lost my shit because this girl ghosted me, how I called her out on it, and eventually told her off. Her response to my story. Well let's just say she'll make a good GAF memeber and do really well with you kids... same shit you guys piled on me for. "That was so petty of you!!" "Why did you do that" "She doesn't need a lesson from you, even if she was being a dick!" Alll this As she was giggling and hitting me with her pillows ... note to some of you out there, if you can be just the right amount of an asshole, not only chicks dig it! It'll make them wet on the spot!!
She had some funny stories of artsy fartsy, dead beat men who made her pay for their drinks, and other fucked up shit that I can't believe dude's say on the first date "I hate my parents, I changed my name recently so they won't be able to track me down and find me... I also got a vasectomy and I don't want kids... " etc.
So naturally it was my turn, and I told her about how I lost my shit because this girl ghosted me, how I called her out on it, and eventually told her off. Her response to my story. Well let's just say she'll make a good GAF memeber and do really well with you kids... same shit you guys piled on me for. "That was so petty of you!!" "Why did you do that" "She doesn't need a lesson from you, even if she was being a dick!" Alll this As she was giggling and hitting me with her pillows ... note to some of you out there, if you can be just the right amount of an asshole, not only chicks dig it! It'll make them wet on the spot!!
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