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[always crazy bacon]

Am I wrong to believe that when scheduling a blind date a couple days in advance a confirmation on the day of the date is standard practice?

This girl got all furious at me when I contacted her the next morning to say I was exhausted from work and fell asleep (which is the truth - she wanted to meet around 23:00).

According to her I stood her up and she set aside time etc. Yet there were no missed calls or messages from her when I woke up in the morning, which makes me feel like she prefers being angry than just letting it slide and rescheduling at an earlier hour.

11pm blind date? No, I don't think so, she obviously was being entertained otherwise she would have messaged you. Saved yourself a wasted late night date.

 

[jungomitis]

Am I wrong to believe that when scheduling a blind date a couple days in advance a confirmation on the day of the date is standard practice?

This girl got all furious at me when I contacted her the next morning to say I was exhausted from work and fell asleep (which is the truth - she wanted to meet around 23:00).

According to her I stood her up and she set aside time etc. Yet there were no missed calls or messages from her when I woke up in the morning, which makes me feel like she prefers being angry than just letting it slide and rescheduling at an earlier hour.

Didn't you technically also not confirm on the day of the date? You should've told her before 23:00 that you won't be able to make it.

 

[Salamando]

Am I wrong to believe that when scheduling a blind date a couple days in advance a confirmation on the day of the date is standard practice?

This girl got all furious at me when I contacted her the next morning to say I was exhausted from work and fell asleep (which is the truth - she wanted to meet around 23:00).

According to her I stood her up and she set aside time etc. Yet there were no missed calls or messages from her when I woke up in the morning, which makes me feel like she prefers being angry than just letting it slide and rescheduling at an earlier hour.

You're in the wrong. Confirmation is a good idea, but once a date's setup it's on unless otherwise cancelled. To just not show up would be akin to ghosting someone in the worst possible way. If anything you should be apologizing for oversleeping.

 

[always crazy bacon]

I'm seeing two girls right now. One is really great with communicating, always texts back right away and is super responsive.
.

YO! What happened to the unbelievable model looks woman?

 

[names2hard4you]

Am I wrong to believe that when scheduling a blind date a couple days in advance a confirmation on the day of the date is standard practice?

This girl got all furious at me when I contacted her the next morning to say I was exhausted from work and fell asleep (which is the truth - she wanted to meet around 23:00).

According to her I stood her up and she set aside time etc. Yet there were no missed calls or messages from her when I woke up in the morning, which makes me feel like she prefers being angry than just letting it slide and rescheduling at an earlier hour.

My mans you fucked up lol. Like, what. You totally stood her up. So she has to confirm with you but you couldn't take that minute to make the confirmation yourself? You either admit you didn't plan on going, in which case you were a piece of shit for not telling her, or you just assumed she had to message you and you not have to bother. In which case, you are still being a piece of shit anyway.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

..

 

[Bread]

Am I wrong to believe that when scheduling a blind date a couple days in advance a confirmation on the day of the date is standard practice?

This girl got all furious at me when I contacted her the next morning to say I was exhausted from work and fell asleep (which is the truth - she wanted to meet around 23:00).

According to her I stood her up and she set aside time etc. Yet there were no missed calls or messages from her when I woke up in the morning, which makes me feel like she prefers being angry than just letting it slide and rescheduling at an earlier hour.

i mean it does sound like you stood her up tbh

 

[MoFoJones99]

Hedge bet or in other words, you might be new dick she is interested in but does not want to get out of her comfort zone of a relationship. A monkey won't leap out of a tree until it knows there is another branch within reach. Some women have a real phobia about being single and need the validation of a relationship. Take your pick.

Hmm. Kinda do not want to fuck up my rep with being that dude who swoops girls away from other guys. I am obviously doing something right when I interact with women, my only issue is that I have trouble attracting single women which is what confuses the fuck outta me.

 

[MoFoJones99]

Or they are giving themselves an out in case you're clingy/crazy.

It also means you're one handsome motherfucker.

Hahaha! Oh, why thank you

 

[MoFoJones99]

Put it in your back pocket, send a message but other than that dont read too much into it. She may have friends though and that is where you wanna post up.

Well, the second girl who gave me her number was with her sister who I wanted to talk to but could not get myself to do so. So I could use that as a way to get through to the sister?

 

[Scotch]

Am I wrong to believe that when scheduling a blind date a couple days in advance a confirmation on the day of the date is standard practice?

This girl got all furious at me when I contacted her the next morning to say I was exhausted from work and fell asleep (which is the truth - she wanted to meet around 23:00).

According to her I stood her up and she set aside time etc. Yet there were no missed calls or messages from her when I woke up in the morning, which makes me feel like she prefers being angry than just letting it slide and rescheduling at an earlier hour.

While a confirmation on the day of the date is usually standard practice, you can't just assume that if she doesn't confirm then you can just go to sleep. Let's be real here, you thought you had an easy out, so you made no effort to confirm yourself.

Hmm. Kinda do not want to fuck up my rep with being that dude who swoops girls away from other guys. I am obviously doing something right when I interact with women, my only issue is that I have trouble attracting single women which is what confuses the fuck outta me.

Hahaha! Oh, why thank you

Put it in your back pocket, send a message but other than that dont read too much into it. She may have friends though and that is where you wanna post up.

Well, the second girl who gave me her number was with her sister who I wanted to talk to but could not get myself to do so. So I could use that as a way to get through to the sister?

Just so you know, you can easily quote multiple posts by pressing the + icon next to the "quote" button.

 

[gaiages]

11pm blind date? No, I don't think so, she obviously was being entertained otherwise she would have messaged you. Saved yourself a wasted late night date.

He's the one that didn't want to go and didn't cancel. He's in the wrong here. if he didn't like the time (11PM wtf) he should have said something.

Well, the second girl who gave me her number was with her sister who I wanted to talk to but could not get myself to do so. So I could use that as a way to get through to the sister?

That sounds like some drama bullshit waiting to happen.




Everyone, let's pour one out for our lost brother, Ray Wonder. RIP buddy

 

[jimmypython]

Just so you know, you can easily quote multiple posts by pressing the + icon next to the "quote" button.

You just blew my mind lol......

 

[Dr Duncan Steel]

Fourth encounter with this girl tonight (second encounter we kissed, for those keeping score); it's a birthday night out at some bar with her friends. Not a date but I honestly have no idea what to expect but to try my best to have fun. She ain't driving and as someone with no car nor license, that's OK with me. What's your read on this situation, peeps?

 

[EchoChamber]

What happened to Ray?

 

[Astral]

What happened to Ray?

I think it was the birthday thread. He got aggressively creepy.

 

[Ozorov]

I think it was the birthday thread. He got aggressively creepy.

What birthday thread?

 

[Ozorov]

Fourth encounter with this girl tonight (second encounter we kissed, for those keeping score); it's a birthday night out at some bar with her friends. Not a date but I honestly have no idea what to expect but to try my best to have fun. She ain't driving and as someone with no car nor license, that's OK with me. What's your read on this situation, peeps?

That's not much information to do any read on imo.

 

[Ultramantaro1]

Fourth encounter with this girl tonight (second encounter we kissed, for those keeping score); it's a birthday night out at some bar with her friends. Not a date but I honestly have no idea what to expect but to try my best to have fun. She ain't driving and as someone with no car nor license, that's OK with me. What's your read on this situation, peeps?

Theres a chance she might be shy about kissing or doing other things in front of her friends... but definitely dance. Girls love that stuff. I took a few salsa lessons years ago just to get some basics and I am routinely blowing minds with even the simplest steps.

Unless this isn't a 'dance' kind of environment. Make sure to make friends with all of her friends, because you know they will be dissecting the crap out of your every move. They will be greatest allies or worst enemies.

One last thing. If some other dude starts flirting with her (this being a bar, she might get hit on) and she reacts favorably, I think you get your answer right there about her interest for you.

 

[Astral]

What birthday thread?

http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1356645&page=100000

I think.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Wait, you no-show'd?? You're 100% in the wrong man, that's clear as day. If anything you're the one who should have confirmed!

This makes no sense. What are you actually saying? She wanted to meet at 11 and you said yes and didnt go?

11pm blind date? No, I don't think so, she obviously was being entertained otherwise she would have messaged you. Saved yourself a wasted late night date.

Didn't you technically also not confirm on the day of the date? You should've told her before 23:00 that you won't be able to make it.

You're in the wrong. Confirmation is a good idea, but once a date's setup it's on unless otherwise cancelled. To just not show up would be akin to ghosting someone in the worst possible way. If anything you should be apologizing for oversleeping.

My mans you fucked up lol. Like, what. You totally stood her up. So she has to confirm with you but you couldn't take that minute to make the confirmation yourself? You either admit you didn't plan on going, in which case you were a piece of shit for not telling her, or you just assumed she had to message you and you not have to bother. In which case, you are still being a piece of shit anyway.

i mean it does sound like you stood her up tbh

While a confirmation on the day of the date is usually standard practice, you can't just assume that if she doesn't confirm then you can just go to sleep. Let's be real here, you thought you had an easy out, so you made no effort to confirm yourself.





Just so you know, you can easily quote multiple posts by pressing the + icon next to the "quote" button.

He's the one that didn't want to go and didn't cancel. He's in the wrong here. if he didn't like the time (11PM wtf) he should have said something.



That sounds like some drama bullshit waiting to happen.




Everyone, let's pour one out for our lost brother, Ray Wonder. RIP buddy

Fair enough, I screwed up. Thanks for keeping me honest GAF. Should have been more honest with her as well. I've had the opposite happen to me more than once and the girl would say it wasn't clear we were confirmed to meet. Now I know what that actually means.

 

[Ozorov]

http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1356645&page=100000

I think.

RIP

 

[Peltz]

It's not on you to get her to talk more, some people just don't text as much. It's not a bad thing, just part of their character. Sometimes it's best not to text too much anyway as it leaves more to talk about on dates. Also, it's likely she's texting a few people.

But more importantly, did you tell the girls that you're dating other people?? Don't do that! That's not a good approach imo, you can certainly date more than one but don't explicitly tell them you're doing it.

Not explicitly. But they know we aren't exclusive and are free to date other people.

 

[gaiages]

http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1356645&page=100000

I think.

Yep, I think he detective-Gaffed a little too far or something.

Spoiler

I totally looked up his last posts like a creep

Fair enough, I screwed up. Thanks for keeping me honest GAF. Should have been more honest with her as well. I've had the opposite happen to me more than once and the girl would say it wasn't clear we were confirmed to meet. Now I know what that actually means.

Hey, lesson learned!

 

[Dr Duncan Steel]

Theres a chance she might be shy about kissing or doing other things in front of her friends... but definitely dance. Girls love that stuff. I took a few salsa lessons years ago just to get some basics and I am routinely blowing minds with even the simplest steps.

Unless this isn't a 'dance' kind of environment. Make sure to make friends with all of her friends, because you know they will be dissecting the crap out of your every move. They will be greatest allies or worst enemies.

One last thing. If some other dude starts flirting with her (this being a bar, she might get hit on) and she reacts favorably, I think you get your answer right there about her interest for you.

All my dancing abilities stems from the disco scene from Boogie Nights and so far; I think the reactions have been positive. Helped that 70's music was playing.

That's not much information to do any read on imo.

That's all there is to really know, you got any questions I'm more than happy to answer.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Yep, I think he detective-Gaffed a little too far or something.

Spoiler

I totally looked up his last posts like a creep

Hey, lesson learned!

In my defense, we never scheduled a place, just said we'd meet somewhere in her general neighborhood. So she was not literally stood up.

 

[Ozorov]

All my dancing abilities stems from the disco scene from Boogie Nights and so far; I think the reactions have been positive. Helped that 70's music was playing.



That's all there is to really know, you got any questions I'm more than happy to answer.

What do you mean by encounters? dates? she invited you to her birthday party with her friends?

 

[Dr Duncan Steel]

What do you mean by encounters? dates? she invited you to her birthday party with her friends?

Like I'm sort of ambivalent to call it a date cause as said in this thread; it's only a date if you both call it that, but she hit me up one time just the two of us for drinks and we even pre gamed in her car one of those times and just listened to music. Like this happened like three times and the fact that we made out the second time tells me this isn't a just friends kinda thing. Encounter is a weird word but I don't know what else to say really. All this semantics, man!

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

In my defense, we never scheduled a place, just said we'd meet somewhere in her general neighborhood. So she was not literally stood up.

Or is this not a reasonable defense?

 

[Ozorov]

Or is this not a reasonable defense?

What do you think?

 

[Salamando]

Or is this not a reasonable defense?

Whether it's reasonable or not is irrelevant. You had tenebrous plans that you ghosted on. If you're feeling sick/tired, the proper move is to cancel or reschedule.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

What do you think?

Honestly I think it's a partial defense. Not saying I was AOK but if a date is scheduled based on partial information than a follow-up exchange is necessary in order to communicate the missing information.

This is how I've been treated by others too.

 

[Ultramantaro1]

Once you've both made plans, even a few days before, unless someone says something, it's still on. Either you txt earlier the day of to confirm or cancel, but it's assumed nothing has changed if no one says anything. You messed up.

 

[meow]

Honestly I think it's a partial defense. Not saying I was AOK but if a date is scheduled based on partial information than a follow-up exchange is necessary in order to communicate the missing information.

This is how I've been treated by others too.

Not a partial defense, especially when it would've taken you 5 seconds to avoid the problem. You messed up, just own it. If you've been treated like that before, those people suck. We're here telling you to not do it again, because it sucks.

 

[Mediking]

It just hit me.... at work.... I'm friends with various women who are already in relationships and I get teased alot.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Once you've both made plans, even a few days before, unless someone says something, it's still on. Either you txt earlier the day of to confirm or cancel, but it's assumed nothing has changed if no one says anything. You messed up.

Not a partial defense, especially when it would've taken you 5 seconds to avoid the problem. You messed up, just own it. If you've been treated like that before, those people suck. We're here telling you to not do it again, because it sucks.

Now I feel kind of angry for excusing being treated like this in the past.

Edit: at least in this case in particular I sucked slightly less then those women. She said she accepted my apology even though she didn't want to reschedule, which is completely fair.

 

[gaiages]

It just hit me.... at work.... I'm friends with various women who are already in relationships and I get teased alot.

o-okay...?

 

[Ozorov]

Like I'm sort of ambivalent to call it a date cause as said in this thread; it's only a date if you both call it that, but she hit me up one time just the two of us for drinks and we even pre gamed in her car one of those times and just listened to music. Like this happened like three times and the fact that we made out the second time tells me this isn't a just friends kinda thing. Encounter is a weird word but I don't know what else to say really. All this semantics, man!

I see. How old are you if I may ask?

 

[Astral]

It just hit me.... at work.... I'm friends with various women who are already in relationships and I get teased alot.

They want to have sex with you.

 

[Lulubop]

It just hit me.... at work.... I'm friends with various women who are already in relationships and I get teased alot.

Wowwwww

 

[Mediking]

o-okay...?

They want to have sex with you.

Wowwwww

I mentioned it because I saw that thread about that Mike Pence guy about not having dinner with a married/single woman and I'm like.... I have lunch with women in relationships at work and nothing goes too far. I'm single. Lol

 

[Salamando]

I mentioned it because I saw that thread about that Mike Pence guy about not having dinner with a married/single woman and I'm like.... I have lunch with women in relationships at work and nothing goes too far. I'm single. Lol

Lunch is the business meal. Dinner and breakfast (especially breakfast) is where the sex happens.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I mentioned it because I saw that thread about that Mike Pence guy about not having dinner with a married/single woman and I'm like.... I have lunch with women in relationships at work and nothing goes too far. I'm single. Lol

Co workers have lunch, this isn't weird.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Lunch is the business meal. Dinner and breakfast (especially breakfast) is where the sex happens.

Breakfast dates can lead to sex?
Shit, why did I never know this??
I've refused breakfast dates because I was sure they were trying to blow me off...

 

[Lulubop]

New Tinder gif tip.

Type in let's get a drink. More ymmw than the dog, but if you get a yes all you gotta do is set a time and date and you're good to go.

 

[M52B28]

So...How long have you actually been dating? As in going on dates and calling them dates?

And you should take her feelings into consideration before you burden her with your own issues.

Late November.

I really do feel bad for having to go through this when being around her. Although she's seen me like this a few times before, I feel like it completely changed the way she acts towards me.

To be fair, saying that I've burdened her with my own issues is a bit of a stretch. I've been consistently working on art projects, especially ones that have failed, other work within my studies and general salary work. On top of that, I have to prepare to move out soon and a family member has been incarcinated.

I really, really need to let her know of a lot of things that I've been going through. She knows some things, but I need to let her know what's going on. When I get really focused on my work, I get really stressed out and, as I've mentioned, I get quiet, cold and my whole face just changes. That's mainly when my mental are issues coming around.

Although I've mentioned a small amount of what I'm going through, I just don't want her to think that the problem is her, which is probably what she thinks.

I'm leaving out of town to home for spring break since I've taken the time off. I'm just going to crunch out the week, finish my work and make sure that I don't feel like this when I see her again.

Fuck.

 

[Scotch]

Honestly I think it's a partial defense. Not saying I was AOK but if a date is scheduled based on partial information than a follow-up exchange is necessary in order to communicate the missing information.g)

This is how I've been treated by others too.

Hmmm... Maybe it's not a defense per se, but the fact that she didn't bother to contact you at all does make her to blame as well, tbh.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Hmmm... Maybe it's not a defense per se, but the fact that she didn't bother to contact you at all does make her to blame as well, tbh.

I dunno. She was able to fill in all the info. I don't see why he couldn't. I always confim a few hours before though personally.

 

[Ultramantaro1]

Anyone ever had any success with a hail-mary before a ghosting?

Girl I assumed was ignoring me basically txted me after 2 days with a 'sorry I missed your call', but nothing more. I asked when she was free and I got a 'I'm feeling a little sick, we'll see' I'm thinking like, don't be sorry, just call me back, you know?

I just want to ask her straight up: do you want to keep dating me ? Is this over or is she just genuinely busy/having a bad week?

I think I know the answer tbh. But I rationalize that I have nothing to lose: if it's over, this won't hurt anyway. If it's not, I might get a straight answer.

I'm prepared to be roasted by the thread regulars. But our motto is 'just do it', right? I want to hear the words 'it's over' so I can move on without a doubt. If this was a random online date I wouldn't care. But we've going steady for a bit over a month and have mutual friends so it's weird that she would behave like that.

 

[Ashby]

Anyone ever had any success with a hail-mary before a ghosting?

Girl I assumed was ignoring me basically txted me after 2 days with a 'sorry I missed your call', but nothing more. I asked when she was free and I got a 'I'm feeling a little sick, we'll see' I'm thinking like, don't be sorry, just call me back, you know?

I just want to ask her straight up: do you want to keep dating me ? Is this over or is she just genuinely busy/having a bad week?

I think I know the answer tbh. But I rationalize that I have nothing to lose: if it's over, this won't hurt anyway. If it's not, I might get a straight answer.

I'm prepared to be roasted by the thread regulars. But our motto is 'just do it', right? I want to hear the words 'it's over' so I can move on without a doubt. If this was a random online date I wouldn't care. But we've going steady for a bit over a month and have mutual friends so it's weird that she would behave like that.

Nah, you invested enough to deserve a straight answer. Go for it.