-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
Self conscious/low self esteem is a devious thing.
Just know that if there isn't a wide shot on the profile already you can assume there's a reason. Don't bother asking in my opinion.
So he makes over 100k and he has a roommate? Sounds like a loser, I mean this in his specific case. He literally needs people around to feel superior it sounds like. For the best your ditching him, seems toxic.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Yeah I dont think Id feel comfortable asking. I dont think its going to do much for her self esteem when you get reactions like mine but I guess I understand. Its just not cool.
Puts everyone in an unncessesarily awkward position.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
It also shows a lack of self-awareness. Literally her best possible outcome is that you're floored by her personality that you can overlook both her fat and her deception. Anyone who actually believes that doesn't understand dating.
Unapologetically be (the best version of) who you are.
There are plenty of people who would find her attractive. She doesn't understand that, and it's kinda saddening.
Happens on the other end as well. Once met a guy who used only photos that were obviously a couple years old--he was a much bigger guy in person.
I don't really understand why people do that either. If you meet someone, they're going to find out.
Like, when I had my profiles open, even though I hate how I look, at least I put up a full body shot lol.
Which meant no one messaged me hahahaha.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Oh for sure. Its not like she was ugly. She is still pretty. I just felt lied to right off the bat and thats not a good start. She was nice too. I might even be friends with her but I wasnt looking for that. Oh well. Night was a net positive.
I should post pics of me when I had a full head of hair and no beard.
i did lol
Yeah, well, if someone that's... erm... a bad advice giver would be like "me me me" I'd be like "no no no" lol
Because someone writes it differently every time, and it helps to get more resources to point people to.
It's been a different OP every time.
Also yes, this. The Online Dating OT has kinda died since I made OT6, so preferbly OT7 would have more information about the online dating aspect of everything.
I'll probably PM him and Zackie and vern at some point and bug them personally.
Well, duh. I mean, nothing is truly off limits in the game of love. But if we don't say something like "don't do that" we'll have a million stories of MY COWORKER HATES ME AND MY WORK LIFE IS MISERABLE or THIS FEMALE WEIGHT LIFTER BROKE MY SPINE AFTER I CREEPED ON HER and it's just easier to be like "yo, don't do that". For every success story there's like 100 failures in scenarios like that.
Just started dating again recently. Man.. I live in Cali and am finding that most of the women I've talked to eventually reveal that they're super right leaning and voted for Trump, even though their profile suggests they're left leaning. Clearly they're unwilling to actually advertise their real beliefs. I just talked to a woman who admitted that she listens to Milo and wanted to go see him in UCLA.
Like, is this a common thing or do I just have the worst luck? This is online, by the way.
Like, is this a common thing or do I just have the worst luck? This is online, by the way.
Yeah this thread can be kinda brutal sometimes. It's very easy for people to call you out as opposed to giving helpful advice, like the dude you quoted. I dunno maybe it's frustrated people trying to vent. You can talk to people anywhere you want. Maybe except the library
I am giving helpful advice, and if you're in doubt maybe actually talk to a woman or two about how they feel getting macked on at work or the gym.
You can talk to people anywhere you want. It's not a good idea to hit on them anywhere you want.
Megalosaro
Banned
He makes 135k. He used to live by himself, but hated it. So he brought me and our other roommate in and we share an apartment.
Then he brought his crazy ass mother in because she got evicted. She was only supposed to spend a month here.
That didn't happen. It's been 2.5 years.
I don't want to derail this thread though. He's a dick and I'm moving on because he truly is a piece of shit that thrives on making everyone miserable.
artsi
Member
So you live with two roommates and one of their mothers?
Where do you live if you can't get your own place with 35k you make yourself?
Yeah, basically. I frequent a lot of female oriented fitness forums online and they're FILLED with posts about getting stared at, getting creeped on, etc. Especially considering a LOT of these women have issues putting themselves out there in a public place (due to weight, inexperience, confidence issues, or flat out wanting to be left alone), it's really not the best place to make a good impression of yourself. It's just awkward at the best of times, and making people feel unsafe at the worst.
Megalosaro
Banned
I actually make 37k. But I live in SoCal. That isn't shit here. Even a studio in the ghetto is like is like 800.
Messofanego
Banned
No. I've asked everyone who don't show their whole body in profile pics for a full body pic, since I shown mine so it's only fair. Majority of the time it's because they're insecure about their body, but they will show it if you're respecting enough. Never had a girl refuse to provide one. It's important if you're planning to meet up eventually.
Do you mean dating in general or online dating? Because I can understand not putting a lot of info about yourself on your profile, but to appear as if you're left leaning but are actually the opposite of that.. seems a little misleading. It's kind of frustrating because this has happened quite a few times to me, even when I express my beliefs clearly on my profile.
I don't really get it. Unless my profile is just not being read.
Just gyms, which what what the post I quoted was talking about.
EDIT: I totally quoted you by mistake.
Psst...you quoted the wrong post....
It's fun and cheap compared to most Disney parks. DisneySea is by far the more unique of their two parks, featuring the most rides unavailable anywhere else. There are certainly worse ways to spend a day!
Shit. :<
Messofanego
Banned
If you're up for dating crazy, go for it, might make for memorable debates. Be sure to bring up Milo's nazi toys, transphobia, misogyny, racism, and fetiishisation of black men. Read up on what he's said about these topics and see how she defends him.
LookAtMeGo
Member
🤔. Maybe its not such a bad idea. Just be respectful about it. How do you do that though?
"Yo last time I met up with a date she was hugh mungus. I need a body pic so I know you're not a tubby mctubberson" ????
But that girl whos number I got at the bar texted me a bit ago and wants to go for dinner during the week sometime. Fuckin sweet. The only problem I can see happening is me being too old. Shes really hot but she looked pretty young. I'm going to guess really early 20s. You cant see the grey in my beard at the bar lol. But this is just me already overthinking shit because thats what I do.
Its just the last few girls I dated were in their early 20s and I feel after them that I should maybe try aiming for more my age but I am weak. I'm 32
Ok lol thank you I thought I was going crazy.
Nah, I was done after that convo.
Messofanego
Banned
This is literally my text I send to a girl:
"Do you happen to have a full body pic? Here's one of me: [provide a full body pic of yourself]"
Here are the responses:
Girl 1: [sends the photo]
Girl 2: "I'm really bad at full body pics...Was this a hint for you to see one of me? If you want to, all you gotta do is ask lol [sends a couple of photos]"
Girl 3: "I don't have full body pic. But I can tell you know I'm on the curvier side. People think I'm skinnier because of pics. But nope. So just thought I'd mention it if it isn't your thing. Oh I found a full body pic. But it's kinda embarrassing. I'm doing my Indian mum pose [sends photo]"
Girl 4: "I'll look in my pictures!! Honestly I usually take a picture neck up because body image issues 😂 but I may have one ☝ [sends couple of photos]"
Just make sure to give compliments after they send the photo and make them feel like their issues are totally normal, we all got body image issues, it's cool, etc. Don't be negative at all.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Word. Thats some solid advice. Thanks.
Holy shit. Are you in SoCal? I know there's more people like that there. I haven't met anyone in the bay area who is like that. In fact, I've seen an influx of profiles saying "Swipe left if you voted for Trump" etc.
Hahaha really? I don't know where you can live on your own for that money.
A series of well-intentioned but bad ideas has turned into a headache today. I need to just tell me friends that the girl they think is my girlfriend isn't my girlfriend; we broke up about 9 months ago.
This all started because a guy in our social circle had a tendency to be creepy towards her but stopped once we were dating. We pretended to still date in front of him so as to keep the creepiness at bay.
Today my good friend (in the social circle too) has a birthday party, he invited me and told me I could bring my GF (which I don't have). The ex is still a friend, who wanted to do something tonight, but doesn't want to go to the party because "she wasn't invited". And I just kinda want my keys back, as she's been avoiding meeting up for like 4 weeks now (she was watching my cat while I was on a trip).
This all started because a guy in our social circle had a tendency to be creepy towards her but stopped once we were dating. We pretended to still date in front of him so as to keep the creepiness at bay.
Today my good friend (in the social circle too) has a birthday party, he invited me and told me I could bring my GF (which I don't have). The ex is still a friend, who wanted to do something tonight, but doesn't want to go to the party because "she wasn't invited". And I just kinda want my keys back, as she's been avoiding meeting up for like 4 weeks now (she was watching my cat while I was on a trip).
"Hey guys, I need to break it to you, but we broke up some time ago, we are still friends however."
"Hey, would you like to meet for five minutes so I can get my keys back, I need them for obvious reasons, we don't need to hang out after."
Yea just say we broke up a while ago, and not mention it was 9months.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Have you told the creepy dude to stop being a creep?
There's really no reason for you to be going through this, just tell everyone you broke up and if the creepy dude starts that shit up again, either take him to one side and have a word or let your ex deal with it, which she should have done in the beginning instead of carrying on a lie.
There is no hard and fast rule in this territory. Depends on the relationship and the people in it. My girlfriend and I said it just past the 2 month mark, and I knew it at 6 weeks. Seems fast/early as hell, but it's just shy of 3 years now for us and I know we said it at the right time.
You're right on the money. In SoCal, near San Diego. I'm kinda taken back to be honest.
You can find semi-decent livings outside of a metropolis for that kind of money.
It won't be spectacular or anything, but it would likely be a 1/1 that you don't have to share with anyone.
Problem is 35k would be harder to get outside the big cities if you're in a STEM career, they tend to gravitate towards the cities ;p
I normally don't do this but I asked last night's girl why she didn't think we were a match and what could I do to improve for the hell of it at Lulubop's encouragement. She told me that it takes her a while to warm up to people, that we have different communication styles (I'm aggressive and like to make it known when I like a girl; she was reserved and communicated more with words), and that we we're looking for different things dating wise.
It puts things into perspective because it's a reminder that not every woman I've dated has been aggressive this year if ever or were meek about it; this girl wanted to get a private karaoke room but it was full, had stated that she had gone to the bar with her roommate during happy hour to get a private room (we sang in public), and recoiled a bit when I touched her because she felt self-conscious. I thanked her for her insight.
I thought it was a confidence/punctuality issue but then in retrospect, my confidence was fine. I don't consider myself to be a shy person even though I am an introvert by nature. So the solution is to list/look for girls that don't consider themselves to be shy and are a bit more outgoing. I complained earlier but man, asking what I did "wrong" really helped! I will continue to do this in the future if there is no second date to improve myself.
It puts things into perspective because it's a reminder that not every woman I've dated has been aggressive this year if ever or were meek about it; this girl wanted to get a private karaoke room but it was full, had stated that she had gone to the bar with her roommate during happy hour to get a private room (we sang in public), and recoiled a bit when I touched her because she felt self-conscious. I thanked her for her insight.
I thought it was a confidence/punctuality issue but then in retrospect, my confidence was fine. I don't consider myself to be a shy person even though I am an introvert by nature. So the solution is to list/look for girls that don't consider themselves to be shy and are a bit more outgoing. I complained earlier but man, asking what I did "wrong" really helped! I will continue to do this in the future if there is no second date to improve myself.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I had a hunch that a lot of girls set their age limit to 30. So I changed my age from 32 to 30 on facebook since there were no more matches near me and holy shit there are hundreds of more profiles lol. I put actual age in the bio tho. But I mean... why the fuck not. Thats a lot of people that wouldnt see my profile and who gives a shit about 2 years anyway.
Tinder
Tinder
Messofanego
Banned
Is she a Trumper?
I don't think he meant conservative in a political way.
Attack You
Member
I put "video games" into OKC's search parameters, and I swear there are more hits for Studio Ghibli in these profiles. YOU NERDS.
I'm okay with this.
Megalosaro
Banned
My current girlfriend liked me because I had a patriots beanie.
That was pretty cool.
I can't wait for football season to start. It will be nice watching games with her.
That was pretty cool.
I can't wait for football season to start. It will be nice watching games with her.
Messofanego
Banned
I saw religious and conservative and wen there lmao
Attack You
Member
That's good to hear, because we'll have to quarantine you two.
Creepy dude's on the spectrum. We've approached him about it before and the situation did not improve. We've even asked him to stop coming to our hangout spot, but he still does. If there's a reason I was going through this, it was to manage the situation.
Regardless, the charade is ending.
Fast Forward
Member
Honestly, whatever works. Maybe not the most "honest" suggestion, but whatever. It's not like you are lying by a significant degree, like by decades.
Plus, as long as you tell the truth sooner rather than later eventually, I don't see the problem here.
artsi
Member
No I'm not from US lol.
And I don't mean politically, but she's from countryside and kind of "old school" when it comes to dating. Not "no sex before marriage" level but anyway.
But I don't think it's that bad, after meeting a ton of Tinder girls that are ready to bang on the first date. Nothing really has came out of those.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
She was just practicing with her super nice friend to make sure she leaves a good impression on Chad at the party this Friday.
Jzero
Member
Was she under the influence?
Messofanego
Banned
Miles Quaritch
Member
You're a good dude for trying to help and keeping up the charade, but I'm glad you're realising that it's enough.
I mean 9 months. Jesus. You've helped and then some.
- Status