• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

Status
Not open for further replies.
for us ugly fuckers with a not so high success rate, it's much easier to just rightswipe your whole city and then pick out the ones you don't want :D

efficiency breh

If you're ugly wouldn't you have all the time to pick and choose? I mean you aren't spending that time going on dates so...
 

Mediking

Member
Have you asked someone out?

Dos playfully asking someone out still count?

One woman dropped the bomb that she had a boyfriend.... for over a year (she's in a long term relationship). When I was hitting on her, she never mentioned she had a boyfriend. I took the L but things are kinda weird (but in a good way). We remained friends and she actually even tried to get me to meet one of her friends. Her and I are cool but I'm not obsessed over her or anything. It is possible to remain friends but things have changed. Its hard to describe. Lol but things are fine and its not unhealthy. I promise.

Turns out another woman I was interested in was lesbian. Lol had no idea... because she was flirting with me back. She called me "handsome" and "baby". Thought I had hit the jackpot... turns out she's lesbian. I kinda don't wanna say she's bisexual because I really don't know if I'm the only guy she ever flirted with. Regardless, she's super tsundere. I think about how it would be to be in a relationship with her. Sometimes I think it would be amazing and other times I think I would jump off a cliff. Lol

There's other stories but I'll stop here. None of them are really successful in an actual relationship way but I'm still proud because I did put myself out there.
 

artsi

Member
Talked with the rich girl and that thing is done now.

1) Nothing was coming out of it in the long run
2) I'm kind of having feelings for the other girl
3) Seems like it's mutual and on paper we're more compatible anyway

Except the issue regarding pineapples in pizza 😠

Gonna see her the day after tomorrow again.
 
Talked with the rich girl and that thing is done now.

1) Nothing was coming out of it in the long run
2) I'm kind of having feelings for the other girl
3) Seems like it's mutual and on paper we're more compatible anyway

Except the issue regarding pineapples in pizza ��

Gonna see her the day after tomorrow again.

Why we all catching feels at the same time? Masshole girl and I fizzled out. Was waiting to directly end it, and I'm prepared to, but I deactivated my dating profile and just focusing on Kimchi.

Dos playfully asking someone out still count?

No.

One woman dropped the bomb that she had a boyfriend.... for over a year (she's in a long term relationship). When I was hitting on her, she never mentioned she had a boyfriend. I took the L but things are kinda weird (but in a good way). We remained friends and she actually even tried to get me to meet one of her friends. Her and I are cool but I'm not obsessed over her or anything. It is possible to remain friends but things have changed. Its hard to describe. Lol but things are fine and its not unhealthy. I promise.

How is it "weird (but in a good way)?" You should meet her friend. You also shouldn't even be slightly obsessed or remotely interested. Congrats: you have a friend who's willing to set you up, and here you are talking about...

Turns out another woman I was interested in was lesbian. Lol had no idea... because she was flirting with me back. She called me "handsome" and "baby". Thought I had hit the jackpot... turns out she's lesbian. I kinda don't wanna say she's bisexual because I really don't know if I'm the only guy she ever flirted with. Regardless, she's super tsundere. I think about how it would be to be in a relationship with her. Sometimes I think it would be amazing and other times I think I would jump off a cliff. Lol

Jesus. I guarantee you she wasn't flirting with you. Just like how waitresses that call everyone "handsome" or "darling" aren't flirting with customers either.

The fact that you're actually using tsundere to describe an actual, human person is telling. You shouldn't think about what it'd be like to be in a relationship with her, because it will never fucking happen, because she likes girls and does not want your, or anyone else's, penis.

There's other stories but I'll stop here. None of them are really successful in an actual relationship way but I'm still proud because I did put myself out there.

I mean, I give you props for talking to people and, I guess, obliquely asking them out. Now how about you allow your friend to introduce you to an actual, pre-vetted, pre-approved (from her point of view) heterosexual girl?
 

Mediking

Member
Why we all catching feels at the same time? Masshole girl and I fizzled out. Was waiting to directly end it, and I'm prepared to, but I deactivated my dating profile and just focusing on Kimchi.



No.



How is it "weird (but in a good way)?" You should meet her friend. You also shouldn't even be slightly obsessed or remotely interested. Congrats: you have a friend who's willing to set you up, and here you are talking about...



Jesus. I guarantee you she wasn't flirting with you. Just like how waitresses that call everyone "handsome" or "darling" aren't flirting with customers either.

The fact that you're actually using tsundere to describe an actual, human person is telling. You shouldn't think about what it'd be like to be in a relationship with her, because it will never fucking happen, because she likes girls and does not want your, or anyone else's, penis.



I mean, I give you props for talking to people and, I guess, obliquely asking them out. Now how about you allow your friend to introduce you to an actual, pre-vetted, pre-approved (from her point of view) heterosexual girl?

You are tearing into me... lmao.

I used tsundere because I remember Artsi from PersonaGAF..... lol. Just using a word that Artsi and I know from using in another thread on GAF.

I guess I should've clarified that I didn't meet the woman who called me handsome at a diner. I met her at work. I was just sharing some stories...lol don't tear into me like this.

The woman who dropped the bomb that she has a boyfriend is a really good friend of mine. I said things have changed because sometimes I get the urge to hit on her but I stop it. And I am gonna meet her friend she wants me to meet.
 
You are tearing into me... lmao.

I used tsundere because I remember Artsi from PersonaGAF..... lol. Just using a word that Artsi and I know from using in another thread on GAF.

I guess I should've clarified that I didn't meet the woman who called me handsome at a diner. I met her at work. I was just sharing some stories...lol don't tear into me like this.

The woman who dropped the bomb that she has a boyfriend is a really good friend of mine. I said things have changed because sometimes I get the urge to hit on her but I stop it. And I am gonna meet her friend she wants me to meet.

I'm getting the impression that your idea of "hitting" on women is just talking to them.
 

Baki

Member
Update Lads.

1/ Been on a date with another girl since "Seattle" Girl who lives a 1000 miles away from me.

1a/ Impressions from my first date: zero chemistry & talking was a chore.

2/ Have 3 more dates lined up this week.

3/ Think it sucks that nothing happened with Seattle girl. Out of the last 10 girls I've met, she's by far has been the best.

What say ye GAF. What's my play here?
 
No.

How is it "weird (but in a good way)?" You should meet her friend. You also shouldn't even be slightly obsessed or remotely interested. Congrats: you have a friend who's willing to set you up, and here you are talking about...

Jesus. I guarantee you she wasn't flirting with you. Just like how waitresses that call everyone "handsome" or "darling" aren't flirting with customers either.

The fact that you're actually using tsundere to describe an actual, human person is telling. You shouldn't think about what it'd be like to be in a relationship with her, because it will never fucking happen, because she likes girls and does not want your, or anyone else's, penis.

I mean, I give you props for talking to people and, I guess, obliquely asking them out. Now how about you allow your friend to introduce you to an actual, pre-vetted, pre-approved (from her point of view) heterosexual girl?

The Tsundere thing is kinda weird but otherwise I dunno, he ain't really say anything too off base tbh.
 
True.. you have to say, "you seriously, I'm asking you out on a date. Like I'm being super serial right now. A real real date. Capital 'D.'"

Or else it does not count at all.

You've thrown the needle all the way over. Ask them out confidently and take the L if they say no. Don't play it off like a joke if she rejects.
 
Update Lads.

1/ Been on a date with another girl since "Seattle" Girl who lives a 1000 miles away from me.

1a/ Impressions from my first date: zero chemistry & talking was a chore.

2/ Have 3 more dates lined up this week.

3/ Think it sucks that nothing happened with Seattle girl. Out of the last 10 girls I've met, she's by far has been the best.

What say ye GAF. What's my play here?

Move to Seattle like that one dude
 
Update Lads.

1/ Been on a date with another girl since "Seattle" Girl who lives a 1000 miles away from me.

1a/ Impressions from my first date: zero chemistry & talking was a chore.

2/ Have 3 more dates lined up this week.

3/ Think it sucks that nothing happened with Seattle girl. Out of the last 10 girls I've met, she's by far has been the best.

What say ye GAF. What's my play here?

Onto those next three dates.
 

Baki

Member
Move to Seattle like that one dude

Hahaha....
I got that reference.

Onto those next three dates.

Yup. :)

Another question: My friend thinks I won't meet the type of girl I want on these apps. So far, best dates have been girls I met through other networks (work etc...).

Any tips on places to meet people. My one setback is that I'm always travelling & don't have many colleagues or friends here in the US. I'd like to meet another girl that's like Seattle girl.
 
Any tips on places to meet people. My one setback is that I'm always travelling & don't have many colleagues or friends here in the US. I'd like to meet another girl that's like Seattle girl.

What is Seattle girl like? And meeting people at places that you enjoy so that there's a mutual interest isn't the worst idea. I've met some pretty cool people at pop-culture expos, concerts, 3D printing seminars etc.

You say you're always travelling, but to what extent? If you're never in the same place for more than a month or two, I don't know how you'd expect to date.
 

Baki

Member
What is Seattle girl like? And meeting people at places that you enjoy so that there's a mutual interest isn't the worst idea. I've met some pretty cool people at pop-culture expos, concerts, 3D printing seminars etc.

- She's successful (built a business that does $millions in sales a year) & only 27!
- Laidback (despite being succesful)
- Great sense of humour & good EQ (emotional intelligence)
- Very humble about her success
- Active & in great shape (track & field star in college)
- Pretty open minded
- Has the same taste in tv shows and movies as me (.e.g we both love Rick and Morty, Arrested Development and Futurama)

You say you're always travelling, but to what extent?

So my home-base is LA. But I can spend upwards of 1-2 weeks a month out of the city. Depends on the season. I also work long hours.

Me & Seattle girl know each other because we've both won the same professional award for our work within our industries.
If you're never in the same place for more than a month or two, I don't know how you'd expect to date.

Unfortuntely, I think you are right here....But there's not much I can do.

I can't travel less (work is important to me)....But I'd also like some human connection.

Setback? That's an advantage. Depends what travelling though as to what the opertunities are.
Travel to major cities 90% of the time. So NYC, Seattle, San Francisco, London, Amsterdam, Paris etc...

With 70% of my travel being to US cities. Remaining 30% is Europe.
 

Mediking

Member
Yeah, it wasn't too bad.

He should still meet the friend's friend, though! There's no better in than that.

I'm gonna meet the friend's friend. They both wanna go out for drinks with me and I don't really drink... but wouldn't I look kinda lame if we all go out and I'm the only guy who doesn't drink?

Edit: Bad joke is bad.
 
-

Unfortuntely, I think you are right here....But there's not much I can do.

I can't travel less (work is important to me)....But I'd also like some human connection.


Travel to major cities 90% of the time. So NYC, Seattle, San Francisco, London, Amsterdam, Paris etc...

With 70% of my travel being to US cities. Remaining 30% is Europe.

Well you should be in there then, international travel, women like the accent, you've got expenses, a hotel room. Get on the apps and you can are a girl in every city. At least for one night.
 

Peltz

Member
You've thrown the needle all the way over. Ask them out confidently and take the L if they say no. Don't play it off like a joke if she rejects.
I know. I was just messing.

I definitely agree with you. Don't play it off as a joke if you get rejected and always be respectful/classy about it.
I think we had this exact same conversation 2 weeks ago regarding Seattle Girl.

Let's keep having it. I find it comforting lol.
 
Its fun & I'm not complaining.

But I'm beginning to want a bit more...

That eventually happens with us traveling guys, one day we just don't want to do it anymore or have a partner at home we want to spend more time with. Eventually you'll need to pass the rod onto the next young guy for that life of adventure.
 

gaiages

Banned
You are tearing into me... lmao.

I used tsundere because I remember Artsi from PersonaGAF..... lol. Just using a word that Artsi and I know from using in another thread on GAF.

I guess I should've clarified that I didn't meet the woman who called me handsome at a diner. I met her at work. I was just sharing some stories...lol don't tear into me like this.

The woman who dropped the bomb that she has a boyfriend is a really good friend of mine. I said things have changed because sometimes I get the urge to hit on her but I stop it. And I am gonna meet her friend she wants me to meet.

1. Tsundere is an anime term and we ALL know it
2. Some people are just naturally friendly and call others pet names. Reading waaaaaay too far into it.

- She's successful (built a business that does $millions in sales a year) & only 27!
- Laidback (despite being succesful)
- Great sense of humour & good EQ (emotional intelligence)
- Very humble about her success
- Active & in great shape (track & field star in college)
- Pretty open minded
- Has the same taste in tv shows and movies as me (.e.g we both love Rick and Morty, Arrested Development and Futurama)

That's a lotta things, I'm going to assume you aren't looking for all those things in every woman you date, right?

Also similar taste in media doesn't really mean much in the the context of a relationship too much, provided they aren't trying to burn your Pokemon cards because they're the devil's monsters or something.
 
Also similar taste in media doesn't really mean much in the the context of a relationship too much, provided they aren't trying to burn your Pokemon cards because they're the devil's monsters or something.

Too many guys put way too much stock in this as a compatability indicator. Suprise, people like popular things.
 
Too many guys put way too much stock in this as a compatability indicator. Suprise, people like popular things.

But if you aren't watching the GoT premiere this Sunday, we can't be friends.

You're absolutely right, though. Liking similar shit means nothing. To be honest, the most important indicator is the ability to productively and respectfully talk through problems that arise.
 

Baki

Member
I know. I was just messing.

I definitely agree with you. Don't play it off as a joke if you get rejected and always be respectful/classy about it.


Let's keep having it. I find it comforting lol.

Why is that. :)

That eventually happens with us traveling guys, one day we just don't want to do it anymore or have a partner at home we want to spend more time with. Eventually you'll need to pass the rod onto the next young guy for that life of adventure.

Don't have much of a choice for the next few years...


1. Tsundere is an anime term and we ALL know it
2. Some people are just naturally friendly and call others pet names. Reading waaaaaay too far into it.



That's a lotta things, I'm going to assume you aren't looking for all those things in every woman you date, right?

Also similar taste in media doesn't really mean much in the the context of a relationship too much, provided they aren't trying to burn your Pokemon cards because they're the devil's monsters or something.

Nope. Not all those things.

Key things that are important:
- Driven / Ambition
- Open minded & high EQ ~ Good for conflict resolution
- Doesn't want me for my success
- Good bantz
- Shared values

Too many guys put way too much stock in this as a compatability indicator. Suprise, people like popular things.

I need someone to discuss spoilers with...

But if you aren't watching the GoT premiere this Sunday, we can't be friends.

You're absolutely right, though. Liking similar shit means nothing. To be honest, the most important indicator is the ability to productively and respectfully talk through problems that arise.

Hahah. Last part is important.
 
But if you aren't watching the GoT premiere this Sunday, we can't be friends.

You're absolutely right, though. Liking similar shit means nothing. To be honest, the most important indicator is the ability to productively and respectfully talk through problems that arise.

I think it means a little bit, at least initially. It gives you a common ground to discuss stuff at the beginning. But you get tired of "oh hey, Vikings is a really cool show, right?" pretty quickly.

Eventually you find new things to bond over.
 
I don't get this, I meet someone, she and I have flirted to the point of escalating things, she reciprocates, and then she disappears causing me to doubt everything (and I'm already not in a good position since second-thinking myself with women has been the bane of my existence).

All I want is for one date/relationship development to go fucking smoothly like it seems to go for everyone else. It's frustrating.
 

Baki

Member
I don't get this, I meet someone, she and I have flirted to the point of escalating things, she reciprocates, and then she disappears causing me to doubt everything (and I'm already not in a good position since second-thinking myself with women has been the bane of my existence).

All I want is for one date/relationship development to go fucking smoothly like it seems to go for everyone else. It's frustrating.

I feel ya brah.

Same problem tbh
 
I don't get this, I meet someone, she and I have flirted to the point of escalating things, she reciprocates, and then she disappears causing me to doubt everything (and I'm already not in a good position since second-thinking myself with women has been the bane of my existence).

All I want is for one date/relationship development to go fucking smoothly like it seems to go for everyone else. It's frustrating.

Life isn't always smooth sailing bruh. Until you understand that it's gonna continue to frustrate you. But if it makes you feel better we got 6 full threads of relationships/dates not going smoothly so you ceetainly aint alone.
 
The lack of matches and over abundance of bots are dampening my mood right now.

Guess I'll stick with it though.

I wish I liked the bar/club scene more but I really don't.
 
I don't get this, I meet someone, she and I have flirted to the point of escalating things, she reciprocates, and then she disappears causing me to doubt everything (and I'm already not in a good position since second-thinking myself with women has been the bane of my existence).

All I want is for one date/relationship development to go fucking smoothly like it seems to go for everyone else. It's frustrating.

Turns out online dating can suck wein occasionally :(

One sec, I'm transferring my energy to you. Sorry if it decreases your match rating accidentally

I wish I liked the bar/club scene more but I really don't.

You can get the leftover energy
 
Life isn't always smooth sailing bruh. Until you understand that it's gonna continue to frustrate you. But if it makes you feel better we got 6 full threads of relationships/dates not going smoothly so you ceetainly aint alone.

The thing that compounds my frustration is years of no results, and having never been in a relationship ever (and at 24 years of age). And then I see people or my friends being able to close the deal easily. I don't know what it is and I'm extra harsh on myself because of it.


Turns out online dating can suck wein occasionally :(

One sec, I'm transferring my energy to you. Sorry if it decreases your match rating accidentally

The sad(der) thing is that this wasn't online.
 
The thing that compounds my frustration is years of no results, and having never been in a relationship ever. And then I see people or my friends being able to close the deal easily. I don't know what it is and I'm extra harsh on myself because of it.

I get that it's frustrating but you also have to be easier on yourself. Just being negative and having a pity party isn't going to get you anywhere. You just have to evaluate where things are going wrong and take small steps to correct it. It's not gonna be easy for everyone, no point feeling some type of way about that.

Oh and 24 years old is young man. You aint even really done shit in life yet. You've got lots of time.
 

Salamando

Member
The thing that compounds my frustration is years of no results, and having never been in a relationship ever (and at 24 years of age). And then I see people or my friends being able to close the deal easily. I don't know what it is and I'm extra harsh on myself because of it.

So, what are you trying to do to fix it? Do you know what your issues are? What your weaknesses are?
 
All I want is for one date/relationship development to go fucking smoothly like it seems to go for everyone else. It's frustrating.

It does'nt, everybody has problems and dating is a series of false starts and dead ends. You just have to stick with it and have a little self refection on how you csn improve things. This whole topic would not exist if it was easy for everyone.
 
So, what are you trying to do to fix it? Do you know what your issues are? What your weaknesses are?

My biggest issues/weaknesses is second-thinking/overthinking when things go wrong (in the sense that I'm not getting the results I want), and plummeting self-confidence because of lacking results. To be honest, I have no idea how to fix things at this point (not for lack of trying out different tactics even if I wasn't comfortable with it). There's probably a solution somewhere but I'm so burnt out with this. I might just take a hiatus from dating.
 
I find that when I second guess, the best option is to unload here. Dump all your insecurities on this thread, that way you can be talked down to like an idiot (because you are). That calms me down.

You can't have any insecurities out there in the wild. They'll pick up on it
 
I find that when I second guess, the best option is to unload here. Dump all your insecurities on this thread, that way you can be talked down to like an idiot (because you are). That calms me down.

You can't have any insecurities out there in the wild. They'll pick up on it

In that case, the kinds of insecurities I have are:

- About my disability, some people already know this ITT but I use a cochlear implant as I am deaf on one side and Hard-Of-Hearing on the other side. As much as I really don't want to use this as an excuse, I can't help but wonder if it turns people off.
- The Chip on my Shoulder my disability has created. The one thing that pisses me off is people writing me off because of perceived inability before they've gotten a chance to see my character, so I do everything in my power to fight back against naysayers. I've had someone say to my face that no one would want to be with me because of my disability so I had been trying my damndest to prove them wrong, when I should have done it for the right reasons.
- Rejection/Lack of results taking its toll on self-esteem, confidence to the point where I'm not sure if I'm even attractive to the opposite sex. Most damaging was the first time I had ever done this with someone who said she was attracted to me, but ended up going for the guy with money.
- Horrible at reading people in dating contexts because of lack of self-confidence. Used to be in high school that I would be enthusiastic and optimistic about getting hints that someone liked me, at least until I faced the tough news that I was just looking for hints that never existed. As a result, multiple times I've downplayed whatever signs I've gotten and more often than not I end up being right about it.
- Whether I look attractive or not. I'm not the fattest man in the world, but I do have a bit of weight that I'm working on cutting out and ever since university, I've found out how to dress proper and for the occasion.

That's pretty much it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom