Subpar Scrub
Banned
I'm super unphotogenic and after 700 selfies over the last 48 hours I found 2 today that I like and have decided to use. Just do it.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
I'm super unphotogenic and after 700 selfies over the last 48 hours I found 2 today that I like and have decided to use. Just do it.
artsi
Member
Looks like you just don't want to have casual sex, that's cool.
Go for the girls that actually want to date you first.
Yeah, just seems like a bad idea to spurn interest if she continued to message me. My track record with contact on these apps ain't great, hard to just let go of a continuing conversation.
Looks like we'll be doing lunch so hopefully that's not as awkward as the last date. My texting game is smooth and I'm just easily comfortable in text convos but still hard to get a good read on a person before a real date obviously.
Like, my texting game is so smooth I'm paranoid I seem way cooler than in person, haha.
I've just gotten out of a relationship, so I'm trying to show some sort of restraint. Plus I feel like all the guys she dated, go for the kiss on the first date. Like, what sets me apart from them kinda thing.
But after reflecting the other night, I should have just thrown the rules out the window and just went for it. Next time I'll do it.
Going over to the house before even meeting? Sounds fishy, no? People be crazy, careful.
Haikan Ramen. Nice place, good priced (after i offered to pay, we split the bill evenly because we shared a couple sides and ordered the same entree, $58 counting tip between the two of us), lively but not too loud, which was good because she had a bit of an accent and i always strain my voice if i go out to bars and try to hold a conversation for any length of time trying to talk over the crowd, but that didn't happen here.
Megalosaro
Banned
I think I'm going to need to have a talk with my girl.
I don't think she's into me sexually.
We got to the hotel, and after watching a little bit of tv, when I went to start kissing her, she went said she was sleepy and we can continue in the morning.
This morning she woke up, we laughed a for a bit. I went to kiss her, she said she was sleepy again and wants to go back to sleep. We now have to check out soon.
I like this girl a lot. A LOT. But I'm starting to thing maybe we aren't sexually compatible or something. There isn't enough situations were we can be intimate. She hates fooling around at my place because my roommates are always home. Can't do anything at her place. And she refuses to do anything in my car. We've been together 3 months and have sex only once, and fooled around maybe 5 times.
I don't think she's into me sexually.
We got to the hotel, and after watching a little bit of tv, when I went to start kissing her, she went said she was sleepy and we can continue in the morning.
This morning she woke up, we laughed a for a bit. I went to kiss her, she said she was sleepy again and wants to go back to sleep. We now have to check out soon.
I like this girl a lot. A LOT. But I'm starting to thing maybe we aren't sexually compatible or something. There isn't enough situations were we can be intimate. She hates fooling around at my place because my roommates are always home. Can't do anything at her place. And she refuses to do anything in my car. We've been together 3 months and have sex only once, and fooled around maybe 5 times.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
I want to hang out with you
LookAtMeGo
Member
I'm down.
So last night was a bit of a doozy. So this girl I been talking to wanted to meet up for some drinks at Earls restaurant with her friends. (Where I successfully dropped a bomb without getting busted) We had some drinks with her friends and my friend showed up to join us. Her and her friends wanted to go to the bar across the street so I was like OK me and my buddy will meet you over there after we have a couple since he just got there.
Then after they left I got a message from another girl who I've been talking to who wanted me to go meet her at a bar down the street. So I did the only honorable thing to and went to meet her.
But on my way there I ran into another girl who I used to work with who I always had a thing for and we talked for a minute. She said she wanted to join me. I'm like fuuuuck ok yeah sure.
So me and her went to the bar where I ran into the other one I said I'd meet. We stood in an awkward circle for a few minutes and then the one who I met on the way was like "I'll leave you two alone, I feel like I'm intruding"
I was like god dammit because I've wanted that one for a long time.
Then I ran into another girl I had been talking to. (The one who ghosted me a few pages back) and she was all wanting to get a drink. Then the girl I met there came up beside me and she was like "oh nevermind" and I was like fuck because she is smokin. Then I ran into my ex. But we just walked past each other. Was still awkward.
When I got up this morning I had like 20 texts on my phone of the other girl I was supposed to meet asking where I was all night and she was looking for me everywhere.
I feel kinda bad.
I think I need to move to a new city.
So just had my first moderately successful date in a century, but I really dunno what to think about it. Like, it at least went better than the last one. But to be honest most of the date she came across as way more smooth and "cool" than me so it was kind of hard to be... interesting? Obviously that's on me, but I really dunno what vibe I get from that. Like, I liked her, but it's intimidating. Maybe I'd worry about it less if I were going on more dates. Maybe I'm trying to force it? These Tinder dates stress me out because I think I just get the impression now most girls I meet from there will be a lot more smooth than me. I'm left unsure if the girl was kind of putting up with me or not.
Also realized I have no idea how to end a date, like going for a kiss (on a crowded street corner) just feels inappropriate at this point when I can't really tell if she's into me anyway. Ended up hugging on her initiative. I know the general advice is to be bold but dang that's hard in practice, when you're out of practice.
Still got a ways to go with being more interesting and getting more dates, but man it feels so far off to get to some stage like that, I'm sure I'd gel with some type of girl.
Also realized I have no idea how to end a date, like going for a kiss (on a crowded street corner) just feels inappropriate at this point when I can't really tell if she's into me anyway. Ended up hugging on her initiative. I know the general advice is to be bold but dang that's hard in practice, when you're out of practice.
Still got a ways to go with being more interesting and getting more dates, but man it feels so far off to get to some stage like that, I'm sure I'd gel with some type of girl.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Fucking hell lookatmego, that's a night and a half.
Stopdoor stop obsessing over "smoothness". Everyone and anyone has access to tinder, so you're going to find a multitude of different people on there. Most people my age (20-25) have tinder installed if they're single or newly dating and they're all very different guys and gals.
If you want to become more comfortable and "smooth" on dates, you just need to go on more dates friendo
Stopdoor stop obsessing over "smoothness". Everyone and anyone has access to tinder, so you're going to find a multitude of different people on there. Most people my age (20-25) have tinder installed if they're single or newly dating and they're all very different guys and gals.
If you want to become more comfortable and "smooth" on dates, you just need to go on more dates friendo
Yeah, I know. I just haven't had much luck with getting dates through the apps so it's hard not to analyze it a lot. Haven't dated in ages, it's a new experience. But I'm also your typical """gaming nerd""" at heart so it feels like an effort to do some of these dates, I don't even drink so that's often an awkward revelation along with everything else. Obviously everyone is on Tinder but I'd bet it skews to the more social end.
But yeah, more dates. Branch out. I know. Just finding dating more stressful than fun, that's for sure.
But yeah, more dates. Branch out. I know. Just finding dating more stressful than fun, that's for sure.
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
Just got back from a Tinder first date. Just joined Tinder this week so I like that I already landed a date. The date itself was fine - coffee and then we walked around and went to the local park. She said she had plans later and I do too so that's where it ended. It felt more like an interview than anything, which I kind of expected. Towards the end she said we should go to bar sometime next week, so I guess I was alright. I'm not super sure I'm feeling it but I'm willing to give it a second date.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
I get what you mean. Don't worry, I'm also a nerd and I've had to go to bars, clubbing, music festivals etc. in order to not just branch out and develop myself, but so that I can better socialise and discuss things with the multitude of people who do that on the reg.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
What can possibly go wrong going out with a 23-year-old girl who doesn't speak much English.
Zackie? Vern? Halp, pls. (But not really. I'm good.)
Also, I'm so over online dating: I hope never to have to use that shit again. It's just so much easier meeting people in person and through friends. I realize that it's a tool, not a crutch, but man - I'm thankfully handsome enough that it makes up for some unintentional awkwardness.
Zackie? Vern? Halp, pls. (But not really. I'm good.)
Also, I'm so over online dating: I hope never to have to use that shit again. It's just so much easier meeting people in person and through friends. I realize that it's a tool, not a crutch, but man - I'm thankfully handsome enough that it makes up for some unintentional awkwardness.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
This is the answer. It really is.
I feel like at least two dozen women will look at you go.
Nothing will go wrong. Less ability to use a common spoken language means more ability to use body language. 😏
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Yes, but I want to take her to the zoo so she can teach me animal names in Portuguese. Como você diz panda em português?!
See her again, know that you're the rebound, acknowledge the red flags, accept that sometimes rebounds do work out (albeit rarely), and also date other people.
That was my plan my friend! I've learned to not get invested until the girl gives you a reason to, so I'm not going to stop swiping. I'll text, her, ask her out to dinner, and let what happens happen.
The fun part - her ex and I work in the same exact field - Human/computer interaction related software development.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Im sure a few would be pretty happy I did.
The girl I went home with last night is still over at my place and we are marathoning Lord of the Rings. We went across the street to grab some wine and snacks and I ran into me ex that I moved here with like 10 years ago and she was with her new man and she looked like she was 9 months pregnant. That was a bit weird. We walked past each other in the grocery store like 5 times but didnt say anything to each other and again coming out of the liquor store. She lives in the building across the street from me but that was the first time I saw her in a few years. We were together for like 4 years.
Its a bit strange because her new man doesnt know we were together. Me and her got a dog together when we first moved in together. So when I'm out and about in the neighbourhood and I see him walking the dog, the dog goes nuts when she sees me and totally loses her shit. Hes like "haha thats hilarious! I dont know why she freaks out so much when she sees you".. im like haha yeeeah.
Its been non stop running into the exes lately. Its quite annoying.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Do you live in a small town? Have you already dated everyone? Like, serious, kinda legitimate question here. 😂
LookAtMeGo
Member
Im in Victoria BC Canada. Its like 100 000 population. But it definitely has small town things about it. Everyone knows everyone. There are a handful of popular spots everyone likes to hang out at. And area-wise most people live in the downtown core which isnt very big. And I live like a 10 min walk from downtown by the ocean in a popular area.
I only have 4 exes here.
PersonAndStuff
Member
I want to say there was a reddit ama by a deaf women and she talked about dating a bit. Which is something I find utterly fascinating.
Spoiled Milk
Banned
100,000 is even smaller than the small town I grew up in. That's microscopic
LookAtMeGo
Member
This is Canada though. Its a decent size for BC. Outside of Vancouver, Montreal, Toronto, Saskatoon, Calgary, Edmonton and a few others, we dont really have many big cities in Canada. I think next to Vancouver this is one of the biggest cities in BC.
Girl I've been on a few dates with (and texted a ton) said she didn't see a future as more than friends, and I'm totally okay with it. I'm in a much better place now with all parts of dating than I was a year ago. Just dating more and putting myself out there makes me more attractive, and makes me less emotionally invested in any single woman.
I kind of agree with her, too. There was maybe some chemistry on the first date, but the rest of the dates were just "fun".
I kind of agree with her, too. There was maybe some chemistry on the first date, but the rest of the dates were just "fun".
timetokill
Banned
That is fucking hilarious
You should sometime say, "What's her name?" And then call the dog by its name before he has a chance to respond.
SmackDaddy
Member
I was about to start yelling at you because your post started out sounding like a mega overreaction (trademark)
But the rest of it is suspect. She might just have a much lesser sex drive than you, but yeah, I've been in this scenerio and it ruined a relationship for me.
Don't grill her about what you want without telling her why it's important to you. Not to get your dick wet, but instead it's how you want to get close to her. I'm not putting words in your mouth , you just seem like a sensitive dude, and that's good.
Ask her what she wants, what turns her on. Don't come at it from an angle of "what's wrong with me ". Prolly pretty unattractive.
Dude quit hurting that poor dog man up and tell him. You have a dog that loves and misses you.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Its not my dog anymore. Its been 10 years. I would just feel weird bringing it up at this point. I'm sure she is plenty happy with her new daddy. Its not like I stop and pet her and spend time with her, although I miss her. She just pulls really hard on the leash trying to come up to me and jumping up and down and shit. Its been like 3 times I've seen her since I moved into this place iver a year ago. I dont want to say anything. She can tell him about me if she wants. I dont care enough to bring it up.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
To be fair, it's a dog. I love dogs. (And cats.) But it might not be worth the friction that might result among humans if this happens. It's not really about manning up, it's about creating drama where none exists.
Not every rejection is taking an L. Sometimes it's just recognizing incompatibility. I seriously invite you to friend her. I had a girl here that I dated and then friended, and while that fell off because she's flaky, it worked well when it did. Friends appear in your life with a wide range of origin stories.
Sometimes those stories include fucking them.
I used to love HCI.
Also, your words really rang true with me: I miss the Kimchi girl. But she hasn't talked about wanting to progress further, and to be honest, the fact that we live in different cities is likely part of it. We're introducing each other to friends and we're getting to know each other, and I'm going to ride this out -- but I think we're both smart enough to see hurdles here:
She's 34. She wants kids, at least in an ideal world. The natural precursor is moving in together -- before a lot of other stuff happens. But that means one of us quits our job, then we move, then we struggle to find another job there, etc., and considering she's a homeowner and is established, that means it's on me...
Yeah. I adore this girl, but there are certainly logistical impediments that, at some point, we'll need to address.
Meanwhile, I'm going on a date tomorrow with the 23-year-old Brazilian who's a friend of my friend(s). I think we may never progress beyond friends for even more obvious logistical reasons, but... why not?
You need to mentally separate "into you sexually" with "doesn't have the chance to be."
How old are you?
You have roommates that are always there. You're suggesting fucking your girl in the back seat of your car. Of course she hates that. She's not 16 and she knows she deserves better.
Now, the hotel situation is a bit different: it's awesome that you took her there, because that's where those barriers didn't exist. Maybe she actually was tired.
But I think it's more likely that, throughout the 3 months that you've been together, you haven't focused on growing the intimacy (yes, intimacy; also, sex) between you. That's something that requires cultivation.
If you like her A LOT, as you say, then you need to make all aspects of your relationship at least something of a priority. And if you're living in an apartment with shitty roommates who disrespect you and suggesting that your girl fuck in your car, well...
Puck Beaverton
Banned
Mega just kill your roommate. Nobody will rat you out, and they'll probably help you too.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Maybe get your own place first if possible..
This is a last resort.
suffication, no breathing, dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
So I'm having a tiny dilemma. This girl I'm hanging out with. I like her, shes cool. We get along and have good laughs and stuff and the sex is good. But she keeps making comments like "i think we are soulmates" and "where have you been all my life?" and its making me feel a little funny. Im definitely not interested in having a relationship like that with her. I dont think I'm ready for a relationship at all right now even though I want one. I dunno what to do. I dont know if I am leading her on or what. I feel I have been pretty clear. I mean we are both sitting here next to each other swiping on Tinder and joking about it and stuff. But I think she is catching feelings. I just dont know what to do because I like what we got going on now.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
You should adopt a dog together, so you can constructively abandon him with the guy she just swiped on Tinder, whom you'll encounter awkwardly in the street seven months from now, flanked by a pair of your exes.
They will all be on Tinder.
All three of them will match with you.
Including the dog.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I resent that comment
Lol holy mother of fuck. All this talk about exes and I seriously just got followed on instagram by my ex that I got engaged to when I was 18 (lolol)
Like what the fuck is going on? This cant be real.
I been drankin for like 9 hours now. Hooefully something interesting will happen I can share with you tomorrow tonight.
I have accepted my fate as a source of amusement.
Im listening to sean paul. Like what the fuck am I doing with my life?
I almost feel like I should be posting in the drunk thread. Sorry folks. You'll have to deal with me until I find my next ex.
Lol holy mother of fuck. All this talk about exes and I seriously just got followed on instagram by my ex that I got engaged to when I was 18 (lolol)
Like what the fuck is going on? This cant be real.
I been drankin for like 9 hours now. Hooefully something interesting will happen I can share with you tomorrow tonight.
I have accepted my fate as a source of amusement.
Im listening to sean paul. Like what the fuck am I doing with my life?
I almost feel like I should be posting in the drunk thread. Sorry folks. You'll have to deal with me until I find my next ex.
longdi
Banned
How wise is it to ask a female directly, should we move onto something more serious, after a first meeting?
I know it sounds unromantic and too much transaction like. But we are going to mid-30s, and idk if i have the time n energy to look around and commit
She seems like a fine intelligent person, takes care of herself. People these days, with social networking, seems to have crazy expectations to overdo one another on Facebook and Instagram...
I know it sounds unromantic and too much transaction like. But we are going to mid-30s, and idk if i have the time n energy to look around and commit
She seems like a fine intelligent person, takes care of herself. People these days, with social networking, seems to have crazy expectations to overdo one another on Facebook and Instagram...
Mediking
Member
A person can find love at any age
Don't rush things.
Don't think of time spent together as "meetings".
You should really try to get to know someone before committing in something serious
Don't let your mid-30's (which isnt even that old) play with your heart.
I wish you the best
Very unwise. And stop referring to them as females, ffs.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Edit: nah, nevermind. Post was just about whether or not I should mention I don't smoke. I didn't, if I encounter that issue I'll deal with it. Tinder account is up after all this time, let's see what happens. Last night I had my mate's girlfriend's friends complimented me on my outfit which was basically a first in my life. Thanks to the cool dudes and dudettes who verbally kicked me in the butt and gave me fashion/photography advice to bring me to this point, it's deeply appreciated.
Edit: Oh god, the "I only have 5 group photos" and snapchat dog/light filters that obfuscate their entire face and bodies... I understand the irritation now.
Double edit: fuck, seeing the class of people on here has made me want to double commit to my diet at least. Crazy attractive guys and gals around here, I need to get competitive 😅
Nah fuck being serious if you don't have to. Life is for fun.
Yeah be direct dude. Just say "looking for a killer sale on clothes? They're 100% off at my place bae".
Also stop saying females, it's weird.
Edit: Oh god, the "I only have 5 group photos" and snapchat dog/light filters that obfuscate their entire face and bodies... I understand the irritation now.
Double edit: fuck, seeing the class of people on here has made me want to double commit to my diet at least. Crazy attractive guys and gals around here, I need to get competitive 😅
Nah fuck being serious if you don't have to. Life is for fun.
Yeah be direct dude. Just say "looking for a killer sale on clothes? They're 100% off at my place bae".
Also stop saying females, it's weird.
Megalosaro
Banned
Had a great talk with the girl last night.
She agreed that it was definitely a problem. I offered to go to a hotel twice a month, but she didn't like that since it's so expensive.
So, the answer was to just get her comfortable with my apartment. Have her come over more often.
Also, her cycle started yesterday which is why she was so out if it, so I feel like an ass.
She agreed that it was definitely a problem. I offered to go to a hotel twice a month, but she didn't like that since it's so expensive.
So, the answer was to just get her comfortable with my apartment. Have her come over more often.
Also, her cycle started yesterday which is why she was so out if it, so I feel like an ass.
MsKrisp
Member
So I got some calls last night and I felt like sharing this story. Some guys just dont know when to give up.
Background:
I started talking to a guy from OKCupid about a year ago. He is in the Navy, so he was only in town for the weekend, so the plan was to possibly hook up before he went home. We texted, snapchatted, and talked on the phone a little, and he asked permission to call, pretty typical dating stuff. Schedules didnt work out, so we werent able to meet and he got a little desperatehe even asked if I could pick him up really late and have sex in my car, to which I politely declined, not on my leather seats. He went back home the next day and wanted to keep in touch, so he added me to Facebook and followed my Instagramnot really unusual to me because other guys Ive met through casual relations have added me and there havent been any issues at all.
Hed try to sexy snapchat with me here and there and I asked him to stop, he apologized and kept it PG from that point. He messaged me way too often, and it was friendly but it was starting to annoy me. But everything was cordial by that point so I didn't have a good reason to tell him off, so I just asked him to hit me up less. Im busy and introverted, and Im not always in the mood to talk. But after that, he started trying to call me without notice. Always twiceI often miss phone calls. It was starting to really put me off.
Then one day, he was in town again. I busy for a few hours and when I finally got a chance to check my phone, I had 2 calls on my regular number, 2 calls through fb (I didnt even know you could call people through fb messenger!), and messages on fb, IG, snapchat, and texts. This behavior set off all my nopenopenope alarms, so I told him that I was unavailable to meet, and that it was inappropriate and scary to spam me like that. He said sorry, still tried to see if there was some way we could meet, and I said no. He messaged me a little bit to talk a little bit after that, and I stopped responding, and he began asking if I was ignoring him with little frustrated emojis. He eventually decided to bomb all my accounts with calls and messages again when he was back in town, so I went ahead and blocked him on everything we were connected on and moved on. This was about 6 months ago.
Fast forward to last night, and I get 2 phone calls from a number I dont recognize. Normally, I just google the number and ignore it, but I was pissed off and wondering who would call at such an odd hour so I texted and asked:
It was him.
Ive never met this guy and he says he misses me.
What. the. fuck.
Has anyone else ever dealt with anyone like this?
Background:
I started talking to a guy from OKCupid about a year ago. He is in the Navy, so he was only in town for the weekend, so the plan was to possibly hook up before he went home. We texted, snapchatted, and talked on the phone a little, and he asked permission to call, pretty typical dating stuff. Schedules didnt work out, so we werent able to meet and he got a little desperatehe even asked if I could pick him up really late and have sex in my car, to which I politely declined, not on my leather seats. He went back home the next day and wanted to keep in touch, so he added me to Facebook and followed my Instagramnot really unusual to me because other guys Ive met through casual relations have added me and there havent been any issues at all.
Hed try to sexy snapchat with me here and there and I asked him to stop, he apologized and kept it PG from that point. He messaged me way too often, and it was friendly but it was starting to annoy me. But everything was cordial by that point so I didn't have a good reason to tell him off, so I just asked him to hit me up less. Im busy and introverted, and Im not always in the mood to talk. But after that, he started trying to call me without notice. Always twiceI often miss phone calls. It was starting to really put me off.
Then one day, he was in town again. I busy for a few hours and when I finally got a chance to check my phone, I had 2 calls on my regular number, 2 calls through fb (I didnt even know you could call people through fb messenger!), and messages on fb, IG, snapchat, and texts. This behavior set off all my nopenopenope alarms, so I told him that I was unavailable to meet, and that it was inappropriate and scary to spam me like that. He said sorry, still tried to see if there was some way we could meet, and I said no. He messaged me a little bit to talk a little bit after that, and I stopped responding, and he began asking if I was ignoring him with little frustrated emojis. He eventually decided to bomb all my accounts with calls and messages again when he was back in town, so I went ahead and blocked him on everything we were connected on and moved on. This was about 6 months ago.
Fast forward to last night, and I get 2 phone calls from a number I dont recognize. Normally, I just google the number and ignore it, but I was pissed off and wondering who would call at such an odd hour so I texted and asked:
It was him.
Ive never met this guy and he says he misses me.
What. the. fuck.
Has anyone else ever dealt with anyone like this?
Megalosaro
Banned
Restraining order. That's really creepy. Wow.
Damerman
Member
Goooood damn... fucking summer '17. Congrats on a boss ass night.
My question is along the lines of what happened to you. Im juggling 4 girls Atm. Its pretty hectic. I need advice on how to most efficiently become exclusive, should the chance arise, without losing any friends. Is such a thing even possible?
2 of the girls are people i just met, but we cliqued very well, and the other 2 have a bit of a report with me. One in particular is my coworkers cousin... so if i fuck tha up... i dont even want to think of the consequences. I just want to be friends with everyone.
hurricanes
Member
Sorry hat you have deal with this creep.
Document everything and block him.
How online dating goes, unless there's an obvious physical connection from the getgo where it may lead to a hookup. Usually the first date is like a job interview: is this person who they presented themselves as and are they a safe, sane human being?
Kaneda Shotaro
Member
Question and advice from you guys.
I've been dating regularly for about a year now, did it for pleasure at first, wasn't looking for anything serious. Past few months, I wanted a relationship.
So, finally after all this time, met someone I really like. We texted for a few weeks, have been going out for a little over a month. She's deleted her dating apps and we get along really well and talk all day. Last week we joked about a relationship contract, stupid jokes about how it's hundreds of pages with fine print etc.
Anyway, the other night while we were laying in bed, I joked about being her boyfriend. She got a little weird, I think (I may be overthinking this as that is something I do), by saying "well I haven't said you're my boyfriend". She even said it in a lighthearted way and the conversation changed. This weekend we're going out Friday, I'm staying over and then spending all of Saturday together (which means we can relax in bed for hours).
My question is, is this a relationship? And how do I bring it up without sounding like an ass or too serious? Does it sound like we're in one (sex is good, we see each other a few times a week now after the second date etc.)?
I've been dating regularly for about a year now, did it for pleasure at first, wasn't looking for anything serious. Past few months, I wanted a relationship.
So, finally after all this time, met someone I really like. We texted for a few weeks, have been going out for a little over a month. She's deleted her dating apps and we get along really well and talk all day. Last week we joked about a relationship contract, stupid jokes about how it's hundreds of pages with fine print etc.
Anyway, the other night while we were laying in bed, I joked about being her boyfriend. She got a little weird, I think (I may be overthinking this as that is something I do), by saying "well I haven't said you're my boyfriend". She even said it in a lighthearted way and the conversation changed. This weekend we're going out Friday, I'm staying over and then spending all of Saturday together (which means we can relax in bed for hours).
My question is, is this a relationship? And how do I bring it up without sounding like an ass or too serious? Does it sound like we're in one (sex is good, we see each other a few times a week now after the second date etc.)?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Yes, it's a relationship. No, you're not her boyfriend. You may or may not be exclusive, but that depends on if you've had that conversation.
The fact that you're still making plans signals progress. The same goes for the mutual deletion of dating apps. However, I'd simply suggest that you tell her (even though she already knows) how you feel if this is a big deal for you.
If you're not exclusive and want to be, tell her that.
If you are already exclusive and want to be "official," then tell her that.
Stating your feelings and your desires with sincerity and civility is never going to make you sound like an ass. It will make you sound serious. Serious isn't a bad thing, especially when you want to be serious with someone.
Frankly, after she told you that she "never said you were [her] boyfriend," you should've replied with "Well, I want to be."
Megalosaro
Banned
I think she was more concerned that you made the assumption you were in a relationship.
Just be like "Hey, I like you alot. I want this to be official. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
If she says yes, cool. If she says no, find out why.
Just be like "Hey, I like you alot. I want this to be official. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
If she says yes, cool. If she says no, find out why.
Kaneda Shotaro
Member
Is it normal to ask someone after 6 weeks if they want to be my girlfriend or too soon? She brought up hanging out at her parents place already (which obviously means meeting them) and obviously that's fine by me haha.
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