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[Prophet Steve]

Wow.

I'd find it difficult to take offense. Those comments are so ludicrous and overtly sexual.

And the other participant seems far too tolerant.

Who was the apology for, exactly? The sexism gods? The dude was drunk and the female game developer didn't do anything to stop his idiotic comments. Heck, perhaps she even goaded him on partially. These comments are what happens when people aren't in their right minds.

Edit:
I'm still trying to comprehend why this was made public.

So this comment is what happens when people are not in their right minds.

 

[Devolution]

Oh, sorry, victim blaming right?

And here I thought the joke about the applications of someone's fingers only had one probable sexually explicit punchline when said to someone who's 'tipsy'.

But nevermind. Victim blaming.

David Jaffe, how are you?

 

[FyreWulff]

Heck, perhaps she even goaded him on partially.

Go to hell.

 

[Alienous]

David Jaffe, how are you?

Look, just IMO.

I don't want to offend anyone, certainly. Simply my take. I've had people shout racial shit at me while drunk and I just walk. I don't understand how someone can have the expectation of being rational whilst 'tipsy'.

 

[striferser]

Wow.

I'd find it difficult to take offense. Those comments are so ludicrous and overtly sexual.

And the other participant seems far too tolerant.

Who was the apology for, exactly? The sexism gods? The dude was drunk and the female game developer didn't do anything to stop his idiotic comments. Heck, perhaps she even goaded him on partially. These comments are what happens when people aren't in their right minds.

Edit:
I'm still trying to comprehend why this was made public.

The lady felt uncomfortable, and tell it to her friend, in which her friend decide to make it public.

If someone pickup line is my penis to your vagina or i'll kiss your vagina, i'll be tempted to tell this to a friend as well.

 

[Devolution]

Look, just IMO.

I don't want to offend anyone, certainly. Simply my take. I've had people shout racial shit at me while drunk and I just walk. I don't understand how someone can have the expectation of being rational whilst 'tipsy'.

Always tons of excuses for the person acting the part of creep, huh Jaffe.

 

[Alienous]

Go to hell.

Using words like 'Zing' as opposed to 'Fuck off you creep' I mean. Already inhibited I could see how a 'joking' situation can be misinterpreted if not made staggeringly clear.

 

[Dennis]

Look, just IMO.

I don't want to offend anyone, certainly. Simply my take. I've had people shout racial shit at me while drunk and I just walk. I don't understand how someone can have the expectation of being rational whilst 'tipsy'.

If he can't help himself from making inappropriate comments when drunk he should not be working while drinking.

Actually, he should probably just stop drinking all together then because that exchange was some pathetic shit.

And I don't actually buy any of his excuses, neither drunkenness nor depression. Depression would rather make you disengage from people.

 

[Caayn]

Oh wow, that's just bad.... plain bad. What was he thinking saying things like that. To me it seems like he was under the impression that he was talking to a prostitute. Which is a definite no-go when talking to someone.

 

[RawNuts]

To me it seems like he was under the impression that he was talking to a prostitute.

You really shouldn't kiss a prostitute's vagina; just sayin'.

 

[Mental Atrophy]

You really shouldn't kiss a prostitute's vagina; just sayin'.

But you might if you are drunk.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

I actually quoted the wrong person. Although it doesn't change the context of my post, and how I feel about this situation.

Sure, I share your opinion, but the person you quoted makes good points and plenty of people ignore that point of view just so they can yell ''victim blaming!''

I know that's a much more extreme example but the point remains, just because the person being harassed or mistreated doesn't explicitly say no doesn't mean the other party wasn't in the wrong.

She is not to blame for his behavior, but she is to blame for how this story developed. What happened in this situation was not the correct way to deal with this problem. It fixed exactly nothing of the underlying problems that caused this idiots behavior.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

What happened in this situation was not the correct way to deal with this problem. It fixed exactly nothing of the underlying problems that caused this idiots behavior.

Oh, fuck off. This can't be for real is it? The "underlying problems that caused this idiot's behaviour" is the idiot in question being a complete asshole. What, pray tell, should she have done to "fix" this, and why is it her responsibility as the victim of harassment?

 

[DCharlie]

The dude was drunk and the female game developer didn't do anything to stop his idiotic comments. Heck, perhaps she even goaded him on partially.

Alienous vs (Sexual) Predator

No matter who wins, it was HER fault!

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Oh, fuck off. This can't be for real is it? The "underlying problems that caused this idiot's behaviour" is the idiot in question being a complete asshole. What, pray tell, should she have done to "fix" this, and why is it her responsibility as the victim of harassment?

It is not her responsibility. And what could have been done? Having a discussion about how this behavior is unacceptable without possibly ruining his life by letting this end up on the internet.

 

[Prophet Steve]

Look, just IMO.

I don't want to offend anyone, certainly. Simply my take. I've had people shout racial shit at me while drunk and I just walk. I don't understand how someone can have the expectation of being rational whilst 'tipsy'.

Since you just walk when having people shouting racial shit against you, this means you are tolerant with it right?

Because she is ignoring his comments and you are doing the same. Oh, and if you make a little joke it you would be encouraging the comments of course.

And seriously? People should not be responsible for their actions and lose all sense of rationality when they get...'tipsy'? Then don't get 'tipsy'.

 

[Devolution]

It is not her responsibility. And what could have been done? Having a discussion about how this behavior is unacceptable without possibly ruining his life by letting this end up on the internet.

Won't someone please think of the creepers and not the fact that they sexually harassed someone.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

It is not her responsibility. And what could have been done? Having a discussion about how this behavior is unacceptable without possibly ruining his life by letting this end up on the internet.

Oh wow. Won't somebody please think of the poor sexual harasser! His life might be ruined now! If only he had known in advance that sexually harassing a woman was frowned upon by the decent people on the Internet! It's so unfair, poor dude. Clearly he's the true victim here. *sobs*

 

[Zornack]

And seriously? People should not be responsible for their actions and lose all sense of rationality when they get...'tipsy'? Then don't get 'tipsy'.

I'm... not sure if that's the argument you want to make.

 

[Prophet Steve]

I'm... not sure if that's the argument you want to make.

He says he does not understand how you can have the expectation of someone being rational when tipsy/drunk.

Of course you should have that expectation. Someone being drunk does not justify their actions, at all. If you tend to act this way when drunk you should not be drinking so much.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Won't someone please think of the creepers and not the fact that they sexually harassed someone.

Oh wow. Won't somebody please think of the poor sexual harasser! His life might be ruined now! If only he had known in advance that sexually harassing a woman was frowned upon by the decent people on the Internet! It's so unfair, poor dude. Clearly he's the true victim here. *sobs*

Unlike you, I actually care about fixing a problem when I see it. It is clear that people like Devolution are only interested in getting laughs out of threads like these and making witty comments. I remember very clearly how you said you didn't give a shit about actually putting effort into these discussions or people and just wanted to fuck with them. That was very disappointing to hear and showed how you are just as much part of the problem as the people you attack in these threads. If you think going around constantly shaming people is better than actually having a discussion and trying to make people better, that is your choice. Shame is a very powerful tool, but it's clear that you don't care about the negative consequences of using it. This is an unfortunate symptom of your constant desire to be funny and witty and feel better than others. I say that there was a better way to fix the situation in the OP than enjoying some quick laughs.

 

[Devolution]

Unlike you, I actually care about fixing a problem when I see it. It is clear that people like Devolution are only interested in getting laughs out of threads like these and making witty comments. I remember very clearly how you said you didn't give a shit about actually putting effort into these discussions or people and just wanted to fuck with them. That was very disappointing to hear and showed how you are just as much part of the problem as the people you attack in these threads. If you think going around constantly shaming people is better than actually having a discussion and trying to make people better, that is your choice. Shame is a very powerful tool, but it's clear that you don't care about the negative consequences of using it. This is an unfortunate symptom of your constant desire to be funny and witty and feel better than others. I say that there was a better way to fix the situation in the OP than enjoying some quick laughs.

You think there is a grey area here and go on to chastise the victim for not acting the way you feel appropriate. Keep fighting the good fight.

 

[Zornack]

He says he does not understand how you can have the expectation of someone being rational when tipsy/drunk.

Of course you should have that expectation. Someone being drunk does not justify their actions, at all. If you tend to act this way when drunk you should not be drinking so much.

I'm sorry, I completely misread what you typed. I need to sleep.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

Unlike you, I actually care about fixing a problem when I see it.

Clearly. By blaming the victim, you show how much you care. About fixing the problem of... what, poor sexual harassers being shamed? Who the fuck cares?

I have no idea what the rest of your rant is about, but it's clearly not describing me in any sort of accurate fashion, so I'll pretend you're talking about Devolution only (though it appears mighty dubious even there) or that you're just hopelessly confused.

 

[mechphree]

I find it more surprising that this many people have never been drunk for 8+ hours at a time. It's like college doesn't exist any more.

I know real alcoholics, and they aren't drunk 24 hours a day. Most the ones I know actually get sick if they DONT drink and that's the only thing that gets their head right. The story about his brother is sad, it's still no excuse for his actions. Honestly I'm surprised the woman he was speaking to didn't end the conversation as soon as it started being weird.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

You think there is a grey area here and go on to chastise the victim for not acting the way you feel appropriate. Keep fighting the good fight.

Just trying to make the world a better place on forum post at a time.

Clearly. By blaming the victim, you show how much you care.

She is not to blame for his behavior.

She is not to blame for his behavior.

She is not to blame for his behavior.

 

[runnin_blue]

This Mattingly guy is a sad douche. Fact. What I can't understand is why she didn't just text back "Oh sorry, I've got to run, I'm busy." when she started feeling uncomfortable. That's what I would have done and it wouldn't have harmed her career as a fledgling developer, as it's just simply stating "I gotta go".

Also, as someone who has been around alcohol addiction first hand, I can totally see this furore making Mattingly go on a messy 3 day bender in a bad bad way. And only that bit makes me feel for him the tiniest bit because he's about to go through a drunken hell (if he really is an alco).

Still think he's a pathetic creepy loser douche though, I just know that alcoholism is no joke, it's a disease.

 

[Mental Atrophy]

What if we were bonobos and vagina kissing was pretty much just a friendly greeting. Being human is so weird.

 

[Devolution]

Clearly. By blaming the victim, you show how much you care. About fixing the problem of... what, poor sexual harassers being shamed? Who the fuck cares?

I have no idea what the rest of your rant is about, but it's clearly not describing me in any sort of accurate fashion, so I'll pretend you're talking about Devolution only (though it appears mighty dubious even there) or that you're just hopelessly confused.

Creep shamer.

 

[mechphree]

Clearly. By blaming the victim, you show how much you care. About fixing the problem of... what, poor sexual harassers being shamed? Who the fuck cares?

I have no idea what the rest of your rant is about, but it's clearly not describing me in any sort of accurate fashion, so I'll pretend you're talking about Devolution only (though it appears mighty dubious even there) or that you're just hopelessly confused.

Most people blame the victim as a way of saying they "deserved" it. I don't understand when people try to ignore blank sexism that is in their face. Drinking a beer doesn't automatically make you become extremely perverted and want to sexually harass people. He was in charge his own actions and he knew exactly what he was doing.

 

[Sir British]

And I don't actually buy any of his excuses, neither drunkenness nor depression. Depression would rather make you disengage from people.

Actually, depression comes in many forms. For some, it makes them seclude themselves from others. For others, it comes in the form of what the author put in it. And it can come in the form of outlandish attacks and blaming others, becoming paranoid and think everyone is out to attack them.

I can sympathise with the author in a way. When I was depressed, I went the extreme end and manipulated those around me, insulting others and have suicidal problems. It leaked into some aspects of my forum life and I basically told some people to go and die.

It doesn't mean you can justify the author's actions. He should be held accountable. But it is a form of depression. Depression doesn't come in "secluded from others". It can manifest in a number of ways and it is disingenuous to suggest that it is the only definition.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Most people blame the victim as a way of saying they "deserved" it. I don't understand when people try to ignore blank sexism that is in their face. Drinking a beer doesn't automatically make you become extremely perverted and want to sexually harass people. He was in charge his own actions and he knew exactly what he was doing.

I do hope you are not insinuating that I think this woman deserved this.

 

[mechphree]

This Mattingly guy is a sad douche. Fact. What I can't understand is why she didn't just text back "Oh sorry, I've got to run, I'm busy." when she started feeling uncomfortable. That's what I would have done and it wouldn't have harmed her career as a fledgling developer, as it's just simply stating "I gotta go".

Also, as someone who has been around alcohol addiction first hand, I can totally see this furore making Mattingly go on a messy 3 day bender in a bad bad way. And only that bit makes me feel for him the tiniest bit because he's about to go through a drunken hell (if he really is an alco).

Still think he's a pathetic creepy loser douche though, I just know that alcoholism is no joke, it's a disease.

It's a lot harder for woman. Many times they don't want to give off the impression that they don't like some one who is a colleague because it can effect their career. Look at the army, their is rampant rape and sexual abuse going on but it's rarely reported. Some woman I guess have just learned how to "deal with it".

 

[Roshin]

Wow. He played the Alcohol, Depression, and Death In the Family cards a little too quickly, IMO.

 

[JDSN]

Wow, amazing how many people wanted this to be dealt privately. If its supposedly not bad at all then what is wrong with putting it out there? Just say "Dont snitch".

 

[DryvBy]

I don't want to imagine what he was doing while talking to her.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Wow, amazing how many people wanted this to be dealt privately. If its supposedly not bad at all then what is wrong with putting it out there?

Pretty sure people are arguing it shouldn't be put out there partly because it is bad.

 

[Devolution]

Wow, amazing how many people wanted this to be dealt privately. If its supposedly not bad at all then what is wrong with putting it out there? Just say "Dont snitch".

Because someone who makes for a hostile work environment shouldn't be outed or something.

 

[Mental Atrophy]

Pure speculation, but maybe she wouldn't have put it out to the world if it weren't for the last few messages. She was definitely able to identify that the dude didn't have all of his faculties when she asked whether or not he was tipsy, and maybe saw value in leaving it in Vegas. But then many, many hours later when he saw the exchange and should've realized, "Wow, I was such a dick. I am sorry." he instead upped the ante with a full paragraph about how much he loves taco buffet. After that she realizes he isn't just drunk, he's an actual dick.

 

[runnin_blue]

It's a lot harder for woman. Many times they don't want to give off the impression that they don't like some one who is a colleague because it can effect their career. Look at the army, their is rampant rape and sexual abuse going on but it's rarely reported. Some woman I guess have just learned how to "deal with it".

Out of curiosity, are you female? I'd like to hear a woman's opinion on if she could have said "I've got to go". It would be informative.

 

[Devolution]

Out of curiosity, are you female? I'd like to here a woman's opinion on if she could have said "I've got to go". It would be informative.

She stayed in neutral, that's the easiest way for them not to get the wrong idea or get hostile.

 

[mechphree]

Out of curiosity, are you female? I'd like to hear a woman's opinion on if she could have said "I've got to go". It would be informative.

No.

I've studied sociology and I just happen to have a slightly better understanding of how racism and sexism effects people then some one who has not. Also, being a victim to some racsim has given me a sliver of insight on some things.

 

[captainnapalm]

Reading that ridiculous exchange, I'm inclined to believe the guy's claims of alcohol abuse and poor mental health. Man, that's cringeworthy.

 

[runnin_blue]

She stayed in neutral, that's the easiest way for them not to get the wrong idea or get hostile.

Hmm. I'm a bit firey so I usually take the direct approach. Cruel to be kind. I don't like unsaid bullshit hanging in the air.

But I'm not a woman so I don't know what it's like to be on that side.

No.

I've studied sociology and I just happen to have a slightly better understanding of how racism and sexism effects people then some one who has not. Also, being a victim to some racsim has given me a sliver of insight on some things.

Dude no offence, but I don't think any degree makes you know more about what it's like to cop sexism or racism. You've experienced racism, so have I, that's different. It sucks.

 

[Mental Atrophy]

I don't think it's necessarily wrong to suggest courses of action to victims. They aren't deserving or "asking for it" when things happen, but empowering somebody with a means to diffuse or ameliorate the scenario is still a good thing.

 

[Devolution]

Hmm. I'm a bit firey so I usually take the direct approach. Cruel to be kind. I don't like unsaid bullshit hanging in the air.

But I'm not a woman so I don't know what it's like to be on that side.

It's a delicate dance of letting someone down without making them angry. Sometimes women just go for indifference or being aloof especially in a situation in which a guy can fuck with your paycheck/job.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

...

Nah man, run while you can. Seriously. I deleted your quote just in case.

 

[BanGy.nz]

David Jaffe's youtube video defending his position.

 

[Dennis]

David Jaffe's youtube video defending his position.

 

[runnin_blue]

It's a delicate dance of letting someone down without making them angry. Sometimes women just go for indifference or being aloof especially in a situation in which a guy can fuck with your paycheck/job.

I experienced harrassment and stalking from a coworker and it got to the point that I just blatantly said "Leave me the fuck alone. It's done.", even though I knew it would affect my job. Is it easier for men in that regard?

(I'm assuming you're female)