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IndieStatik Founder apologizes for "inappropriate" comments to female game dev

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striferser

Huge Nickleback Fan
I'm going to assume you're a straight male and ask you this question: would you consider it sexual harrassment if a woman sent you similar messages? Be honest, please. .

If that woman is not a friend, random stranger, yes, it's sexual harrasment. It's making me uncomfortable.
 
My spine could hardly take the cringe, though I'm not going to lie, I was laughing pretty hard by the end of this.

...and then I thought about all involved. Shitty for all involved, though the lasting damage will be on Josh, that aint gonna go down well in indie circles.

Weird that she didn't just say "whoa there, hold your horses, let's not go there"... it sucks, but she's gotta be used to it by now, having worked with so many nerdy men.

A couple of women I know in the industry have said they have difficulty knowing when they can or can't go for a drink or coffee without them leading guys on - it's pretty rough and awkward. She should have nipped it in the bud, but really it's on him.


I think she was better ignoring that guy. Makes the whole thing a lot more funnier and pitiful for that guy. She's basically giving him chances to act like none of those things happened, and yet, he keeps acting like a fool. Drunk ? Lol.
Anyway, I think that things like this happening is a shame and I think that this guy deserve what might happen to his career.
 

Zabant

Member
David Jaffe is seriously fucking up how I view him as a person.

VlPXStz.png
https://twitter.com/davidscottjaffe
 
Now that's what I'm talking about, a little coquettish flirtation. No need to be flashing your ankles on the first conversation.

And why do these people always feel the need to state that they give great head and they love it? Why is there always some '14 more nerves' biology textbook shit thrown in? It just sounds like a pre-emptive coping mechanism for not being able to bring the goods in other areas. So creepy that my skin has crawled off my body and now I look like an extra from Beetlejuice.

That always gets me too. People who brag, it's weird, like maybe you should let me be the judge of that?



I feel like dudes who need proper flirting explained to them in detail are just outing themselves as clueless as hell and lacking a lot of socialization.
 

BanGy.nz

Banned
SHE WAS THE ONE THAT BRING UP... AGAIN...
It's almost like she has something to say about the current situation and can relate to it based on past experience, weird.

Anyone else been watching David Jaffe twitter during this? I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry... I guess both?
 

element

Member
Been watching this one evolve all day. Pretty much has been blacklisted from every developer and publisher.

I've been drunk at events like CES, E3, GDC, PAX, and I'd never get anywhere close to crossing those lines.

Hell, I get uncomfortable when working saying someone is cute, let alone making any type of sexual remark.

It is sad seeing people remotely defend the guy or try to displace blame on this. Having worked with and be friends with women in the industry, they have to put up with stuff like this all the time. In terms of 'why didn't she just tell him to stop' is a sad view as does one sacrifice their own personal worth to keep communication open with potential opportunities in the future? It is really easy to be someone like Jaffe and tell someone to fuck off, but being a small developer who is just trying to get ANY attention, it is really hard to tell anyone to fuck off, no matter what they are doing.
 

Llyranor

Member
I'm not saying it's a great thing to do or that I'd be overjoyed by it. I'm just saying I don't find it to be as despicable or awful as everyone here makes it out to be.
The point is that it's still harassment. You don't necessarily need to feel like your life is threatened for it to be so.

Is there more to this story? She doesn't tell him to stop in those shots of the facebook conversation. If it was unwanted it's certainly harassment. I suppose the fact that he apologized is direct evidence of it being harassment, though the Kotaku article and apology don't seem to mention the victim being offended by this at all.
https://twitter.com/georgeb3dr/status/425389819091382272

"When you're toward the start of a career, it's hard to tell a journalist who may cover your game to fuck off."
 
'please write up acceptable ways of flirting so men have a checklist' lol did he really just say that. yeah, i'm sure giving an anatomy lesson on the clitoris at 6am gets the women wild.
 

Artorias

Banned
Ah, you're right. Didn't see that the last one was posted on the next day. Still, if it ended after that, I'd consider it all part of one conversation. Although that does place it a little closer to harrassment territory in my opinion.

I'm so confused with how you perceive harassment at this point. It has to be two separate conversations to rise to the level of harassment? Or is it just that some time needs to have lapsed between comments?

Can one single sentence ever be considered harassment in your opinion?
 

docbon

Member
He has a fair point, she really should have told him to stop if she was offended. I mean he even says what the guy said was out of line. Is that not a position you agree with?

idk, i think "are you drunk?" as a response is a p. good verbal queue that you should cease the 'thousand years trekking across the driest of deserts' level of lusting.

'please write up acceptable ways of flirting so men have a checklist' lol did he really just say that. yeah, i'm sure giving an anatomy lesson on the clitoris at 6am gets the women wild.

i spent the last six hours telling a women how i'd like to bury myself neck deep in her vagina, but it's okay because despite the cold reception she never told me to stop!
 

enzo_gt

tagged by Blackace
Isn't shadowboxing throwing punches sans person or bag? So why would he bring up a bag? Just terrible.
That's probably what turned her off most, she stopped replying afterwards.

Fam needs to step his workout game up before he can step his game up.
 

Gbraga

Member
I don't believe in Boycotts, but seeing as I think I might have watched a total of maybe 2 IndieStatik videos in my time, I'll just continue not visiting their site. Simple.

I get all my Indie information from IndieGames.com and RockLeeSmile and sometimes Nerd3 when he does them or TotalBiscuit. (I don't care, I don't want to hear it.)

That was just cringeworthy. Like WTF wow.

And even if the roles were reversed, yes it would still be harassment and completely inappropriate. Especially in a work environment.

Why would people have a problem with that? Most of his videos are pretty good, people may have issues with his personal opinions on twitter, but who cares? I don't want to be his friend, I only care about the information I get from his videos.

I don't watch a lot of them though so I may be wrong.
 
David is offering a fair counterpoint. She did go along with it, never saying stop in a variety of different ways. The founder is still wrong, but she let him dig his own grave, and rightfully so.
 

bender

What time is it?
I think trying to parse the words further is basically unnecessary. He purports to have found an AA chapter and a therapist. I think it's reasonable that others considering employing him in the future, or other stakeholders in his site trying to figure out what to do with him hold him accountable to that. If he's lying and is not doing anything to change his ways, then that's a different situation than if he's telling the truth and making progress. I don't know what level of punishment to meter out, and really it's none of my business because I didn't read this guy before and I won't be reading him now regardless.

I think the apology appears, to me, at least, repeatedly emphasizes that the behaviour is wrong and that he should be held accountable regardless of what led him to that point. I don't think trying to provide additional evidence that he knows what he did was wrong to support his apology should weaken the apology's strength, absent actual evidence that he's lying.

I guess I come at it from the standpoint of admitting the behavior is wrong was all that was necessary for an adequate apology and the ancillary feels more like a slight of hand. I don't disbelieve what he is saying in regard to his personal struggles, I just think it would have been smarter to save that for another time.

edit: What are you doing David Jaffe?
 
So disgusting that she had to deal with that. I'm honestly surprised she reacted in such a tame way to those comments. I really hope she didn't react like that because she felt she was obligated to.
 
He has a fair point, she really should have told him to stop if she was offended. I mean he even says what the guy said was out of line. Is that not a position you agree with?

As the mandatory California sexual harassment course taught me, the victim of sexual harassment is not obligated to tell their harasser to stop for it to be considered harassment.
 
He has a fair point, she really should have told him to stop if she was offended. I mean he even says what the guy said was out of line. Is that not a position you agree with?

As I just said, she could be frightened or weirded out. She could have used humour to mitigate her fear / worries.

The burden is NOT ON HER to state her grievances for the situation to be unwanted or harassment.
 

Slayven

Member
That always gets me too. People who brag, it's weird, like maybe you should let me be the judge of that?




I feel like dudes who need proper flirting explained to them in detail are just outing themselves as clueless as hell and lacking a lot of socialization.

That is the creepy part and appointing them judge over it.
 
David is offering a fair counterpoint. She did go along with it, never saying stop in a variety of different ways. The founder is still wrong, but she let him dig his own grave, and rightfully so.

I'm not exactly sure what the proper way of handling this is for a woman in an industry so entrenched with these problems that wants to work in it but not alienate possible employers.
 
Now that's what I'm talking about, a little coquettish flirtation. No need to be flashing your ankles on the first conversation.

And why do these people always feel the need to state that they give great head and they love it? Why is there always some '14 more nerves' biology textbook shit thrown in? It just sounds like a pre-emptive coping mechanism for not being able to bring the goods in other areas. So creepy that my skin has crawled off my body and now I look like an extra from Beetlejuice.

for some, yes they can't meet the challenge in that area, for some though, they know it to be the door opener, as if by doing that so well, they'll inspire them to okay their docking request. Its hit or miss though, its better just to give them a reason to want you rather than force the issue.."be excellent in her presence"..NOT creepy.

I'm not exactly sure what the proper way of handling this is for a woman in an industry so entrenched with these problems that wants to work in it but not alienate possible employers.

That is a tragic reality. Like depressingly sad. "At what price"? dudes rarely have to deal with that. Anywhere

I also thought you had a white beard for the longest time. that's a CAT!
 

SmokyDave

Member
David is offering a fair counterpoint. She did go along with it, never saying stop in a variety of different ways. The founder is still wrong, but she let him dig his own grave, and rightfully so.
Her absolute and steadfast refusal to acknowledge his 'flirting' was about as subtle as a 72pt block caps flashing FUCK OFF, only far more polite.
 

Harlequin

Member
... okay firstly, WOW. This was just baffling to read.

Secondly, this isn't him asking her out or something. This is him making hugely inappropriate comments to a woman he's supposed to have a relatively professional relationship with, and with her having provided zero reason to assume that this okay. Next time you're at work, ask a female coworker to do you a favor, and in return, offer to perform cunnilingus on her. Come back and tell me just how incredibly uncomfortable her face looks right as you ask that.

Thirdly, no, if it were a woman saying this shit to a man and were posted for public consumption, it too would be scrutinized and come off as super sleazy. This isn't some biased slant. It's a fucking sleazeball being a creepy fucking sleazeball.

I guess I'm just not as sensitive when it comes to sex or sexually explicit texts as a lot of other people here seem to be. But then I've been to my fair share of gay dating sites where most guys greet each other with a photo of their genitals so that might have something to do with it :p. I just don't think such a comment is a big deal, not even between two people with a strictly professional relationship. A little weird and awkward? Sure. But not as dramatic as most people here seem to find it. That's just me, though. Now with him continuously sending her messages, even hours later...that's something I had not realised when I had written that post and I definitely find that problematic.

And no, I would most certainly not say that to a female coworker, mostly because the mere thought of having sex with a woman is off-putting to me. Would I say that kinda thing to a guy I don't know outside of a professional relationship? I don't think so. But would I be offended or feel harrassed if someone said it to me just once or twice? Nah, probably not.
 

Dryk

Member
Why would people have a problem with that? Most of his videos are pretty good, people may have issues with his personal opinions on twitter, but who cares? I don't want to be his friend, I only care about the information I get from his videos.

I don't watch a lot of them though so I may be wrong.
In before: Josh was supposed to be the guest on this week's podcast.

(Probably not)
 
Now that's what I'm talking about, a little coquettish flirtation. No need to be flashing your ankles on the first conversation.

And why do these people always feel the need to state that they give great head and they love it? Why is there always some '14 more nerves' biology textbook shit thrown in? It just sounds like a pre-emptive coping mechanism for not being able to bring the goods in other areas. So creepy that my skin has crawled off my body and now I look like an extra from Beetlejuice.

Oh, you rapscallion! ;-)
 

Madness

Member
Are they like super good friends or is that how he just talks to a random 'industry friend' because she's a woman? I can't believe anyone would write something like that. Seriously like what world do these people live on. There is really no justification for it either, even while drunk. Disgusting.

The fact she didn't acknowledge it shows how uncomfortable it made her.
 

Majanew

Banned
lol @ David Jaffe

Go ahead, Dave. Tell a female coworker you'll kiss her vagina and let us know how your lawsuit goes.

He's such a damn clown.
 

Sneds

Member
for some, yes they can't meet the challenge in that area, for some though, they know it to be the door opener, as if by doing that so well, they'll inspire them to okay their docking request. Its hit or miss though, its better just to give them a reason to want you rather than force the issue.."be excellent in her presence"..NOT creepy.

Please let's not have his thread turn into a terrible dating advice thread.
 
hmm, reading through the exchange again, his comments don't seem to bother her. Based on this conversation alone, I don't see why this is even a news story at all. It's a man badly flirting with a woman on the internet. That's about it.
 

J.ceaz

Member
David is offering a fair counterpoint. She did go along with it, never saying stop in a variety of different ways. The founder is still wrong, but she let him dig his own grave, and rightfully so.

No he really doesn't. Ignoring his comments isn't "going along with it" and like others have said asking if he was drunk is a clear indication that she thought something was wrong with him and the things he was saying.
 

Orayn

Member
There is no such thing as "proper" flirting. Some people like subtle, some like blunt.

Maybe instead of relying entirely on the responses of the flirt-ees, flirt-ers could have some self-awareness and be ready to to check themselves lest they wreck themselves.

"SHE DIDN'T TELL ME TO STOP!" is not exactly a great place to start defending yourself from.
 
I'm not exactly sure what the proper way of handling this is for a woman in an industry so entrenched with these problems that wants to work in it but not alienate possible employers.

Disengage. After his reiteration of his desire at the 10:16pm comment she could have dropped out of the conversation. He said he was put up for this with a challenge, he's still being weird with her. At that point just stop indulging him.
 

erpg

GAF parliamentarian
David is offering a fair counterpoint. She did go along with it, never saying stop in a variety of different ways. The founder is still wrong, but she let him dig his own grave, and rightfully so.
Ever had someone change the topic of conversation on you or completely ignore half of what you said? It's an easy, polite way to get people to stop what they're doing.

It would've been nice if she had told him right off, but unfortunately, she still needed his coverage and business.
 
Thirsty ass dude. Yeah, she didn't say anything (which is kinda weird) but I can't see myself talking to anyone like that. I might talk to a gf like that but just fucking around and stuff.

Wonder how many guys get girls in that manner.
 
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