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[DUFFMCWALIN]

I had to use that mattress for the rest of the semester. o_0

Thats not a squirter. A squirting gf is a very good thing. But funny story nevertheless. College girls can be crazy.

 

[Symphonia]

This is not true in all cases my friend.

It was in mine, unfortunately. That said, the girl I lost my virginity to - and the one who lost hers to me - ended up being the love of my life for nearly six years, and we had a daughter together.

 

[DrM]

College girls can be crazy.

Oh yeah, college years were crazy but all bed action from those days goes to 'Best sex ever' category for me

 

[Scofield94941]

a long time ago I was having sex with a girl and my dream was always to do doggie style (still is). Well I put her in the position and we weren't completely aligned and I just ooked down and said "how do people do this?"LOL. My body was higher than hers so I just rolled her over. To this day I have not done doggie. Funny thing is, all I had to do was go down lower and move her ass into my dick. FUCK

 

[BlackNMild2k1]

a long time ago I was having sex with a girl and my dream was always to do doggie style (still is). Well I put her in the position and we weren't completely aligned and I just ooked down and said "how do people do this?"LOL. My body was higher than hers so I just rolled her over. To this day I have not done doggie. Funny thing is, all I had to do was go down lower and move her ass into my dick. FUCK

maybe you should try Froggy Style next time.
It's just like doggy, except you're squatting into the position, while she kneels into it.

 

[Dicer]

a long time ago I was having sex with a girl and my dream was always to do doggie style (still is). Well I put her in the position and we weren't completely aligned and I just ooked down and said "how do people do this?"LOL. My body was higher than hers so I just rolled her over. To this day I have not done doggie. Funny thing is, all I had to do was go down lower and move her ass into my dick. FUCK

WTF....this just boggles my mind.

I've done doggie probably more than missionary over the years, it's really NOT that complicated.

 

[Omegasquash]

a long time ago I was having sex with a girl and my dream was always to do doggie style (still is). Well I put her in the position and we weren't completely aligned and I just ooked down and said "how do people do this?"LOL. My body was higher than hers so I just rolled her over. To this day I have not done doggie. Funny thing is, all I had to do was go down lower and move her ass into my dick. FUCK

Different levels. For example, have her on the bed and you standing. It's easily achieved, and believe me, both parties on their knees just doesn't work all the time.

 

[keltickennedy]

a long time ago I was having sex with a girl and my dream was always to do doggie style (still is). Well I put her in the position and we weren't completely aligned and I just ooked down and said "how do people do this?"LOL. My body was higher than hers so I just rolled her over. To this day I have not done doggie. Funny thing is, all I had to do was go down lower and move her ass into my dick. FUCK

lol

 

[sssstententen]

Worst sex for me?

I was working in the Olympic Village for the 2012 games, everyone seemed pretty damn horny in that place, I don't know if it was the tension and atmosphere of the games. Anyway I met this nice Hungarian girl one day and she took me back to the cabin she was living in for the entirety of the games. I haven't had sex for a few months at this point so i'm completely on it, hard on comes instantly and i'm ready to go, her on the otherhand... getting her going was like trying to get blood out of a stone. She had a really tight vagina, wasn't getting the slightest bit wet and we had no lube. She was telling me was was into it, she was confused as to why it wasn't working, but no matter what we did it wasn't happening. Tried thrusting a bit more to no avail, just wouldn't go in. So we ended up just calling it quits and slept, that was the end of that.

Did you try going down on her?

 

[BlackNMild2k1]

Worst sex for me?

I was working in the Olympic Village for the 2012 games, everyone seemed pretty damn horny in that place, I don't know if it was the tension and atmosphere of the games. Anyway I met this nice Hungarian girl one day and she took me back to the cabin she was living in for the entirety of the games. I haven't had sex for a few months at this point so i'm completely on it, hard on comes instantly and i'm ready to go, her on the otherhand... getting her going was like trying to get blood out of a stone. She had a really tight vagina, wasn't getting the slightest bit wet and we had no lube. She was telling me was was into it, she was confused as to why it wasn't working, but no matter what we did it wasn't happening. Tried thrusting a bit more to no avail, just wouldn't go in. So we ended up just calling it quits and slept, that was the end of that.

If all else fails, don't be afraid to spit on it.

If you don't want her to see, then pretend to wipe your mouth and spit on your fingertips, then get your fingers in there to moisten that shit up.

I know this isn't a thread for sex tips, but some of you really seem like you have no idea what you are doing and could use a little guidance from some more experienced members (pun intended).

 

[Raptor]

All this stories of smelly vagina are funny but weird to me since I really like how it smells, its a very nice smell IMO, maybe I have not had the chance to sniff a rancid fish smelly one ever.

 

[satori]

All this stories of smelly vagina are funny but weird to me since I really like how it smells, its a very nice smell IMO, maybe I have not had the chance to sniff a rancid fish smelly one ever.

I too enjoy the smell and taste of a nice vagina. But holy fuk when you experience some rancid ones...Its like getting mugged on the street. Each new person you run into, you are fearful of getting smack in the god damn jaw. Consider yourself lucky Raptor...It is not a fun experience. I never stop though lol the stories where people go flaccid over it? Not I, I just think of happy things and finish

 

[Zuhzuhzombie!!]

Yeah. Someone's been lucky.

 

[Messofanego]

If all else fails, don't be afraid to spit on it.

This is tag worthy.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

All this stories of smelly vagina are funny but weird to me since I really like how it smells, its a very nice smell IMO, maybe I have not had the chance to sniff a rancid fish smelly one ever.

There are, like, four or five degrees of vagina smell from what I know. From 1-4...

1. No smell; odorless. This is usually only present directly after a shower.
2. Slight smell. Varies per girl depending on diet and genetics. Sometimes good sometimes bad.
3. Strong smell; stench. Usually due to sweat or poor hygiene.
4. Rancid, nasty-ass "get that shit out of my face" snatch. This is typically a result of some sort of infection or a problem with pH balance.

I prefer 1 and 2 myself.

 

[Raptor]

There are, like, four or five degrees of vagina smell from what I know. From 1-4...

1. No smell; odorless. This is usually only present directly after a shower.
2. Slight smell. Varies per girl depending on diet and genetics. Sometimes good sometimes bad.
3. Strong smell; stench. Usually due to sweat or poor hygiene.
4. Rancid, nasty-ass "get that shit out of my face" snatch. This is typically a result of some sort of infection or a problem with pH balance.

I prefer 1 and 2 myself.

I had only 1 and 2 when doing it, I have smelled other types like when they are menstruating but nothing "get that shit out of my face" snatch bad lol.

 

[Bundy]

Are you banging in a Smart car? I've had some awesome times in the front seat and back seats of a smallish 4-door car.

Not a smart, but a Corsa. Horrible =/

 

[Draper]

a long time ago I was having sex with a girl and my dream was always to do doggie style (still is). Well I put her in the position and we weren't completely aligned and I just ooked down and said "how do people do this?"LOL. My body was higher than hers so I just rolled her over. To this day I have not done doggie. Funny thing is, all I had to do was go down lower and move her ass into my dick. FUCK

wat.

In any case, the worst times were when I couldn't get my dick up. I'd rate that higher than the times I've gotten shit on my dick. And every girl I've fucked, I've at least had sex with them several times on their periods. I have no issue with it.

 

[Funky Papa]

Menstruation odor falls deep into sarlacc pitt of unpleasantness territory.

Whenever I read some article in some women's magazine (don't judge, dental office) about how good is sex to mitigate cramps I'm like

There's nothing wrong with menstruation and its related taboos are nothing but a bunch of malarkey that needs to go ASAP, but I'm not doing that for you ladies, let alone getting a faceful of it. Ride the rabbit instead if you feel so inclined.

Not a smart, but a Corsa. Horrible =/

I had a Corsa C... It was super reliable, cheap to run and super easy to park, but a shag-pad was not.

 

[-PXG-]

Thank goodness I've never had a smelly gal. I pity all of you who have had that dishonor. I've had three bleeders though. One was on her period, another was side effect from birth control and the most recent (my current gf) was the result of fucking her too hard, lol

 

[Gherid__lacksGPS]

This reads like an infomercial

lol, you're right. just trying to help people out.

 

[Kuro Madoushi]

These smell stories. They make me a sad puppy. This coworker I have used to smell pretty good. Lots of perfume and it was nice. But something happened and I don't know what it is. Now 'that' smell just emanates from her.

 

[Concept17]

This is tag worthy.

Tag worthy, and the truest thing ever said.

 

[captainraincoat]

Nice pussy doesn't actually smell like anything at all.

Bad Pussy smells like fish flakes that you give to your goldfish.....good pussy should taste exactly like the inside cheek of your mouth.......no Urine....No i forgot to wipe my ass properly and its seeped down..no i just got off my red wings......sweet nothing at all

 

[Messofanego]

Bad Pussy smells like fish flakes that you give to your goldfish.....

Wait...I like the smell of those fish flakes. And most fish. Would I be alright when I have a girl, or you guys are just not finding a good comparison for how bad the smell is.

 

[Dunlop]

Had to be circumcised in my 20's. First time I had sex after that I only cared that my dick still worked properly.

And because I was only thinking about that and not the actual sexual act, it gave me the stamina of a porn star..which in turned stressed me out more lol

Bad sex for me, awesome sex for her

 

[BlackNMild2k1]

Wait...I like the smell of those fish flakes. And most fish. Would I be alright when I have a girl, or you guys are just not finding a good comparison for how bad the smell is.

That was a bad comparison.

Good clean vag has almost no scent.

Neglected after a little sweat/long day it might have a slight scent that will go away with a little play.

Dirty vag will have a pungent odor, kinda off putting, make you second guess.

Nasty vag will smell like a fridge full of fish that was left unplugged all week while you were on vacation during the hottest summer on record, but you didn't realize that until you opened the freezer door to look.
good luck scrubbing that scent out of your nose. you will go limp.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

The worse sex ive had....There was this one chick that screamed liked sindel every time i put it in, instant boner killer.

Ive had my far share of stank pussy, alway big girls for some reason (im a dirty motherfucker though, I anit stopping)


But the very worse sex was with my ex. What made this sex so bad is the fact she would never let me change position, lift he legs up, switch angle etc. It had to be straight missionary and if I didnt come in 9.9 mins, tough shit. She had enough.

 

[Piggus]

The only thing worse than having sex with a virgin is when you're both virgins. Just awkward bumping and grinding.

I'm so glad this wasn't true for my first time. It was actually quite good.

 

[MonkeyKing]

This thread has me dying of laughter.

But I'm amazed at the number of people that don't wash their dirty asses before sex. I get that people like "spur of the moment" but if you suspect that you might get some that evening, wouldn't it behoove you to take a shower and put on some clean drawers?

 

[ConradCervantes]

My girlfriend has really long hair, and she often sheds in the middle of the night when she sleeps. Recently I went down on her, and my tongue caught a hair that I thought was simply one she missed while shaving. I pulled it out of my mouth and away from her crotch, but it kept sliding up from beneath her ass. I knew it was one of her head hairs, but I started laughing hysterically, could not breathe at all, and told my girl she had one loooooong ass hair. She just rolled her eyes and shook her head at me. Later when we were banging I had to stop for a couple minutes because I lost my wood from laughing about it again.

 

[Barkley's Justice]

As with most people my worst time was my first time

On a beach in Halkidiki in Greece just after i turned 16 with a girl a bit older and vastly more experienced than I - she wasn't the prettiest either, wouldn't take her bra off due to uneven breasts.

So we are on a sun lounger and she tells me to put my leg up and for some reason in my nervous state I lift my leg and place it above hers before realising I am in fact not the vagina bearer in this situation, anyway eventually I got through it in a few awkward thrusts and we redressed.

Her dad then appeared walking along the beach with his wife and I feared the worst, he looks at me and says 'good luck lad I just got a shag'

Classy family like

Edit - actually I reckon the worst worst time was when I was about 17 with my girlfriend in the shower, felt a pop and looked down and saw lots and lots of blood - snapped the old banjo string, I still remember the horrible smell that accompanied it, horrific experience!

yo i dont understand a thing going on in this post

 

[Lucian Cat]

My girlfriend has really long hair, and she often sheds in the middle of the night when she sleeps. Recently I went down on her, and my tongue caught a hair that I thought was simply one she missed while shaving. I pulled it out of my mouth and away from her crotch, but it kept sliding up from beneath her ass. I knew it was one of her head hairs, but I started laughing hysterically, could not breathe at all, and told my girl she had one loooooong ass hair. She just rolled her eyes and shook her head at me. Later when we were banging I had to stop for a couple minutes because I lost my wood from laughing about it again.

When I was bleaching my hair mine would fall out a bit more often in the shower. My now ex would go down on me and find them there. His paranoia let him to believe they were pubes from the guys I was banging behind his back. Even though they were my color, NOT pubes and he was insane coz there was no one else. Good times... good times...

The only bad sex I can think of is when they hit my cervix with their wang. That is not a pleasant experience. Thankfully the rest of my experiences have been mostly positive

 

[The Maverick]

I too enjoy the smell and taste of a nice vagina. But holy fuk when you experience some rancid ones...Its like getting mugged on the street. Each new person you run into, you are fearful of getting smack in the god damn jaw. Consider yourself lucky Raptor...It is not a fun experience. I never stop though lol the stories where people go flaccid over it? Not I, I just think of happy things and finish

I can't breathe over here man.

Also, is wiping from back to front as big of a deal for men as it is for women?

 

[Featheredkitten]

If all else fails, don't be afraid to spit on it.

If you don't want her to see, then pretend to wipe your mouth and spit on your fingertips, then get your fingers in there to moisten that shit up.

Spit doesn't work great as a lube but it's certainly good for getting things started, i'll agree.

Not a smart, but a Corsa. Horrible =/

Haha, I've had sex in one of those. Trick is to do in the driver's seat, but be careful...it could break.

 

[Zuhzuhzombie!!]

A women went down on me once. It was all teeth. It was awful.

 

[Funky Papa]

The only bad sex I can think of is when they hit my cervix with their wang. That is not a pleasant experience.

Score 1 for small dick GAF.

 

[RangerX]

Could'nt get it up when i was locked. nothing terrible really.

 

[Wynnebeck]

Yo some of you have me weak talking about pussy smells. Like my late grandma always said, "If it smells like fish, you better reel that rod in quick!" As for myself, a girl having no smell is off-putting unless she just got out I the shower. I enjoy a nice smell, but if you got a vagina smelling like a binjo ditch in South Korea in the middle of July, then sorry sweety, I wouldn't get near that even with a Power Ranger helmet on.

 

[bud]

I attempted to have sex with a virgin. Moral of the story, I prefer sluts for casual encounters.

what was so bad about it? there's an off chance i might have sex with a virgin tonight.

 

[Chinner]

what was so bad about it? there's an off chance i might have sex with a virgin tonight.

she prefers xbox one to ps4

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

what was so bad about it? there's an off chance i might have sex with a virgin tonight.

Afterwards, can we please have a diagram carefully crafted in MS Paint?

 

[Jakeh111]

Was given a dry HJ once. It was like she didnt know what to do with me.

 

[Newline]

If all else fails, don't be afraid to spit on it.

If you don't want her to see, then pretend to wipe your mouth and spit on your fingertips, then get your fingers in there to moisten that shit up.

I know this isn't a thread for sex tips, but some of you really seem like you have no idea what you are doing and could use a little guidance from some more experienced members (pun intended).

Decent advice but she must have been seriously nervous or something, the tightness seemed more of a problem than the fact it was like a sahara desert down there. The lube from the condom should have been enough to get us going, but the tightness was unreal. Never experienced it again since, she probably just clammed up even more once we realised something was up.

 

[Messofanego]

A women went down on me once. It was all teeth. It was awful.

"How much teeth do you like?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXiX3OWfFLY

 

[bumpkin]

Hands down, it was this time I hooked up with this girl who was trying to "control" the motion when I was the one on top. It was awkward and frankly I was glad after it was over. What I wasn't glad about was her then telling this girl -- a mutual friend -- who I was interested in that I was a "bad lay." Needless to say, I didn't get to hit the other one.

Mission accomplished, slut. Mission accomplished.

Spoiler

I got mine.

 

[The perfect Dark]

That's easy.
I was too drunk to.....end of story.

Felt bad the next morning because she was mmmh...hot.

 

[BigEvilTurtle]

Hands down, it was this time I hooked up with this girl who was trying to "control" the motion when I was the one on top. It was awkward and frankly I was glad after it was over. What I wasn't glad about was her then telling this girl -- a mutual friend -- who I was interested in that I was a "bad lay." Needless to say, I didn't get to hit the other one.

Mission accomplished, slut. Mission accomplished.

Spoiler

I got mine.

You're supposed to respond to each other's motions, not necessarily always control it. Maybe she was trying to get you to move with her but you're just bad?

 

[vikki]

My first girlfriend, first long term relationship, first everything pretty much wasn't really bad. The first time we did it, it was her first time too, I kept track of time on an alarm clock near the bed. I made it almost 8 minutes. I thought she didn't like it so we didn't do it again for like a month. Turns out she did like it and we did it a lot more after the 1 month hiatus.

The worst sex was also with my first, and it was completely my fault. Nearing the end of our relationship I just was not into her any longer. It took a while for me to let her know that it wasn't going to work out, but it was very apparent in the bedroom. I found it hard to get aroused from her and I faked a few orgasms. I know I was wrong for stringing her along, but I just never wanted to hurt her.

 

[bitoriginal]

This happened last year.
It was the most embarassing situation I've ever been in my entire life.

I was chilling on a friend's house playing video games on a saturday night when I get a call from a drunk friend asking me where I was.
A few minutes has passed and she is now at the house, she picks me up and we go to her house.
We go to the bedroom upstairs while making out and saying to her that it was wrong to have sex with her because she was drunk, but she obviously didn't care and I was horny as hell so fuck it.

Suddenly we are both naked on her bed, and we get it going.
The foreplay was going well but then..
My stomach started to make funny noises.

"What the fuck did I have for dinner?" I started thinking while I was sucking on dem titties.
I knew something was coming, and it wasn't my dick.
"Oh man, I KNOW that feeling: Diarrhea"

Now.

I could choose to take a dump on her bathroom but the smell would have definitely kill the momentum so I just said to her I'm calling a taxi and going home because "I can't take advantage of your state".
She seemed confused as the sudden change of opinion. I mean, she was already sucking my dick when I stopped her and said that.
By saying that I thought I was going to end up being a total gentleman the next day when she realizes what she did the day before and so I was going to get sex a few days later as a reward anyways.

20 min has passed and the taxi hasn't arrived.
I was holding my diarrhea so bad while simultaneously trying to be a "gentleman" saying stuff like "Don't worry, we can do it next weekend when we're both sober", "Don't feel bad", blablabla

Eventually the taxi arrived. I put my clothes back on and prepare to go downstairs.
Let me say that holding the shit in while going downstairs was one of the most difficult tasks I've ever done in my entire life. If you have been in a situation like this then you share my pain.

I made it. Now I was at her door saying goodbye to a semi naked chick that I still wanted to fuck while holding the most explosive diarrhea of my life while thinking how the fuck I'm going to hold it when I get to the taxi. I awkwardly say goodbye and GTFO.

I get in the taxi and tell the driver I want to take a shit so take me to the nearest gas station. While I was in the taxi I couldn't hold it anymore so a little bit of juice got out, it started to smell and the driver noticed it, but he was a great guy and didn't really cared. After a few minutes we found a gas station, I rush to the bath and let myself explode.

After what happened later isn't that important, he just took me home, I gave him a considerable tip for his phenomenal service and that's it.

PS: And no... I haven't banged the girl after that. She barely even spoke to me the next days. She probably thinks I'm gay.

Quoted because this needs to be read, holy FUCK!