Hahah. If I dont write here on Sunday. Call the Swedish police.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
I'm picking her up tomorrow from a club (they have some kind of girls night) and go to her place after that.
If sex doesn't happen this time I might as well give up and become a buddhist monk.
¯\_(ツ_/¯
Good luck buddy! Make your intention clear but don't force the issue too hard.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I find "I love to laugh" to be one of the dumbest lines in a dating profile that I come across.
Like... who doesn't love to laugh? I'm sure even Hitler liked laughing.
Oh yes, online dating continues to be a hole. I've gotten to the point where I just message girls random non-sequitors and bad puns and insane philosophical questions and plans to commit bank heists
Like... who doesn't love to laugh? I'm sure even Hitler liked laughing.
Oh yes, online dating continues to be a hole. I've gotten to the point where I just message girls random non-sequitors and bad puns and insane philosophical questions and plans to commit bank heists
artsi
Member
I think she's ready, she's texting some damn suggestive stuff lol.
She is like complete opposite from how stiff and reserved she was the first three dates. It's good I kept at it instead of assuming she's not that interested.
That's the way it goes haha. When I first met my girlfriend in person (we'd met through Tinder), which was actually before our first date (she was out with some friends downtown, as was I, so we sort of arranged to meet up briefly before we ever went on a date), she was so shy, quiet and reserved that I was certain she wasn't into me. Hell, I felt like I had better chemistry with her roommate (and I told her so - something we still laugh about 2.5 years later). I went home that night thinking "there's no way that date ever happens". Yet we kept talking and we went out the next week for a drink. Same thing, she's so quiet and reserved and I'm not picking up on many signs that she's into me. 3 hours at the pub and I pretty much had to talk for 2 hours and 45 minutes of it. At the end of the night I take her home. I'd made some comment about needing to use the washroom on the drive, which was true and not an attempt to be invited in at all. When we got to her place, her roommate was staring out the window at us, so that pretty much killed the vibe of a goodnight kiss. I was thinking "well, this was a bust", and was ready to leave, when she asked if I wanted to use their washroom. I said sure. Went in, peed, awkwardly met her 2 roommates (who she'd just met/moved in with 2 weeks prior for school), was ready to finally leave during the awkward pauses in conversation between the 4 of us, then she says "do you want to see Harry Potter's broom closet?" Probably the strangest question I'd been asked on a date. Turns out she meant her room, which was by far the smallest of all the rooms, almost like a broom closet. So she gives me a 4 second tour of the room then kinda stands with her back to the wall. I say "fuck it" to myself and kiss her. Best fucking idea. Suddenly this reserved, quiet, shy girl pushes me hard back onto the bed and jumps me. And the rest is history. We didn't have sex that night, that came later, but it was the start of an intense relationship.
So yes, I wholeheartedly recommend having patience for the shy, reserved ones.
TangerineCloud
Banned
Okay, so I just suggested that I pick her up instead of having her meet me somewhere. I don't know why I'm so anxious about it, but now I'm just waiting to see what she says. I suppose her response will tell me a bit about what moves I should make tonight.
UPDATE: I'll be picking her up at her place... *sweats profusely*
She has improved on her texting?
artsi
Member
That's a nice story man, yeah I feel it.
It might sound strange but it feels somehow good that she wasn't that easy to open up, and now it finally happened, you know? Like a reward after hard work.
Yeah before you could have better conversations with a chatbot, now she's constantly babbling all kinds of silly stuff, flirting, etc.
Thats good
I've 100 girls now. And I live in a pretty small city. Addicted.
But I still have a bad confidence. So that sucks.
I avoid sharing the more personal sides of my dating life, but felt pretty boss today.
Asked out a waitress for the first time, was visiting a city looking for a place to grab lunch. Walked into this place and this dude helped me out at the cashier (ordered at cashier, then ate wherever there was a seat kinda ordeal), meanwhile a girl came over to ask me if I wanted a drink, and I immediately notice this girl is an absolute bombshell. She comes back with something I ordered being particularly smiley, and I sit down at the bar while she continues to work the coffee and cashier right at the corner where I'm sitting. While eating my meal she made it really obvious she was checking me out, but either I had food in my mouth or she was being slammed by customers (really busy part of town). All I could think the entire time is, "There is no way I'm leaving this place without getting this girl's number." Alas, one thing lead to another and eventually I noticed her asking someone to cover her and took off, finishing her shift. "Shit", I thought in my head. I lost my chance. Every chance I had was just wrong and there was nothing left I could do.
I had no idea where she went after that so I grabbed my jacket, finished my drink, took a couple bites of my food, and walked out. Start walking down the street only to realize I'm going the wrong way. As I turned around, I pass the place again, and she's walking out the door. Stopped her on the street, chatted for a little while and I got her number, she wants me to swing by again tomorrow when she finishes work.
Felt pretty good, I'm usually absolutely not the type to ask out a girl in a situation like that but I was like fuck it I'm going in
Asked out a waitress for the first time, was visiting a city looking for a place to grab lunch. Walked into this place and this dude helped me out at the cashier (ordered at cashier, then ate wherever there was a seat kinda ordeal), meanwhile a girl came over to ask me if I wanted a drink, and I immediately notice this girl is an absolute bombshell. She comes back with something I ordered being particularly smiley, and I sit down at the bar while she continues to work the coffee and cashier right at the corner where I'm sitting. While eating my meal she made it really obvious she was checking me out, but either I had food in my mouth or she was being slammed by customers (really busy part of town). All I could think the entire time is, "There is no way I'm leaving this place without getting this girl's number." Alas, one thing lead to another and eventually I noticed her asking someone to cover her and took off, finishing her shift. "Shit", I thought in my head. I lost my chance. Every chance I had was just wrong and there was nothing left I could do.
I had no idea where she went after that so I grabbed my jacket, finished my drink, took a couple bites of my food, and walked out. Start walking down the street only to realize I'm going the wrong way. As I turned around, I pass the place again, and she's walking out the door. Stopped her on the street, chatted for a little while and I got her number, she wants me to swing by again tomorrow when she finishes work.
Felt pretty good, I'm usually absolutely not the type to ask out a girl in a situation like that but I was like fuck it I'm going in
Not strange at all. To be honest, prior to meeting my girlfriend I was basically just having fun. I think all my previous Tinder dates had ended up in hookups on the first night. Which while lots of fun wasnt really the basis of a great relationship. I mean, you're getting physical right out of the gate without having time to form a connection. I actually think if we had slept together that first night that we wouldn't be together now. I think it was like our sixth or seventh date before we had sex, which was great because by then we had a strong connection which made it even better.
From my experience, and from what I've seen, usually the problem isn't between the two coworkers themselves... it's with the shit stirrers and gossip mongers you work with making ant hills into mountains. Even if you're the type that really doesn't pay attention to that shit, when you become the focus of people like that, it's hell. No quicker way to do that then asking a coworker out, lol.
I think most people are mature enough to reject a coworker or get rejected, but those two people don't live in a social vacuum.
I should've clarified in my post, but those 25 matches have just been in the last couple of days.
Also I'm sorry to hear you're confidence hasn't improved! I started to fake confidence about a year ago and it's honestly helped tremendously, despite my anxiety issues.
Happy to hear it! Good luck.
always crazy bacon
Banned
It's true, the office relationship becomes the office gossip from people so bored they think it's a real life soap being acted out in front of them for commenting. One time I slept with this girl after the office Christmas party and I had a colleague ask me what she was like in bed! I mean come on! Would that even be a question if he didn't know her as another colleague?
ZackieChan
Member
That seems like a pretty good business idea. A "relationship photo package" where they shoot a bunch of photos that you can dole out over time so it looks like you have a girlfriend. I gotta get on this.
always crazy bacon
Banned
ZackieChan
Member
Dammit
Ask if she'd be interested in other types of non-halal meat? 😏
This is a bit of a doozy, please bear with me.
Nearly four years ago, I moved to a new city to start University at 18 years old. In my second week, I was in a bar and met a girl; something clicked between us straight away, and it snowballed very quickly into the first real relationship of my life. She was three years older than me, in her final year whilst I was a fresher, but we ended up falling deeply in love. I mean, I've had relationships before and since but they've been nothing like what I had with this girl; I was addicted to her, she was gorgeous, funny, doted on me, and we spent about a year in total bliss.
But things started to break down. Although the age gap isn't huge, it mattered when I was barely out of high school and she was preparing to graduate. We loved each other a lot but problems started to crop up, I won't get into it all here, but suffice it to say we broke up after being together for just over a year, although we were still in love with each other it just wasn't working.
Things were on and off for a while after. Lot of heart-ache was caused and it was just too difficult for me, we weren't going to get back together and it wasn't enough for me to just sleep together casually in some facsimile of what we'd been. We stopped seeing each other, then slowly stopped talking... this was mainly on me, I had real troubles accepting that I'd lost her.
Eventually we both seemed to move on. She met someone else, I met someone else, and for a long time I didn't hear from her. I ended up getting into a long term relationship with the new girl I'd met, things didn't pan out for her and she decided to go travelling.
I was happy with my new girlfriend for a while, I thought she was exactly what I needed. My own age, a bit less drama-prone, very laid back. But after the honeymoon period, I started to have doubts as to whether I truly loved this girl or if I was just trying to prove to myself that I could move on with my life. Around this time, my Grandma died of terminal lung cancer at 64; it was equivalent to a parent dying, because she'd practically raised me and been the only constant in my life as I'd been shuffled in and out of foster homes and the victim of my parents' dysfunctional relationship and horrific breakup. Her death hit me really hard: I've always had problems with depression and anxiety, but it tipped me over the edge and I fell into a long downward spiral. I'm not proud to admit that I stayed with my new girlfriend, perhaps not because I loved her but because I felt absolutely alone and at rock bottom, and she was all I had.
Anyway, eventually I began to get better and realised my mistake. I broke up with her, and it was shitty, I felt awful but I didn't know what else to do; if you're not in love with someone, that's impossible to fix.
That was last June, I've been single since. Out of nowhere, my ex from three years ago messaged in me in November, telling me she was coming back to the UK and wanted us to meet up. We got back in regular touch and it culminated with us meeting up last month; we went for drinks and what I thought would just be a nice catch-up turned into more, there was still the same chemistry between us and after an hour it felt like nothing had changed between us, even though we went almost two years without speaking.
We hooked up, things got a bit weird and we agreed to not overthink things at this stage. We hooked up again last weekend and she's asking now what I think we should do. We've both admitted that we never stopped holding a torch for each other and I'm getting a strong sense that she wants to give us another shot. We're older and in similar places in life now, I don't think the problems we used to have would crop up anymore. And in a sense I've always seen her as the girl that got away, the great love of my young life to date.
However, it's not that simple. I graduate myself in a few months and I've made concrete plans to move to the south of France; I've been offered a job as an English teacher there, I've been learning French for over a year and it's all in motion. This girl knows this will be my life for the next year, and I'm not sure how she feels about it. Well, I know she'd rather I didn't go, but that's not an option for me.
Ideally, I want us to keep things simmering over the next year while I'm in France and she's doing her post-grad in the UK; I'll visit her, she'll visit me, we'll talk. But I'm concerned that, if we get properly back together now, that year will kill us for good.
I don't think she agrees though, think she believes that I'll met someone else out there, and I'm worried I'm going to lose her over it. Part of me wonders still if I'm just clinging to the past and should just move on.
Not sure what I'm looking for here. Advice, maybe, or even just an outsider opinion. I really feel at a crossroads.
Nearly four years ago, I moved to a new city to start University at 18 years old. In my second week, I was in a bar and met a girl; something clicked between us straight away, and it snowballed very quickly into the first real relationship of my life. She was three years older than me, in her final year whilst I was a fresher, but we ended up falling deeply in love. I mean, I've had relationships before and since but they've been nothing like what I had with this girl; I was addicted to her, she was gorgeous, funny, doted on me, and we spent about a year in total bliss.
But things started to break down. Although the age gap isn't huge, it mattered when I was barely out of high school and she was preparing to graduate. We loved each other a lot but problems started to crop up, I won't get into it all here, but suffice it to say we broke up after being together for just over a year, although we were still in love with each other it just wasn't working.
Things were on and off for a while after. Lot of heart-ache was caused and it was just too difficult for me, we weren't going to get back together and it wasn't enough for me to just sleep together casually in some facsimile of what we'd been. We stopped seeing each other, then slowly stopped talking... this was mainly on me, I had real troubles accepting that I'd lost her.
Eventually we both seemed to move on. She met someone else, I met someone else, and for a long time I didn't hear from her. I ended up getting into a long term relationship with the new girl I'd met, things didn't pan out for her and she decided to go travelling.
I was happy with my new girlfriend for a while, I thought she was exactly what I needed. My own age, a bit less drama-prone, very laid back. But after the honeymoon period, I started to have doubts as to whether I truly loved this girl or if I was just trying to prove to myself that I could move on with my life. Around this time, my Grandma died of terminal lung cancer at 64; it was equivalent to a parent dying, because she'd practically raised me and been the only constant in my life as I'd been shuffled in and out of foster homes and the victim of my parents' dysfunctional relationship and horrific breakup. Her death hit me really hard: I've always had problems with depression and anxiety, but it tipped me over the edge and I fell into a long downward spiral. I'm not proud to admit that I stayed with my new girlfriend, perhaps not because I loved her but because I felt absolutely alone and at rock bottom, and she was all I had.
Anyway, eventually I began to get better and realised my mistake. I broke up with her, and it was shitty, I felt awful but I didn't know what else to do; if you're not in love with someone, that's impossible to fix.
That was last June, I've been single since. Out of nowhere, my ex from three years ago messaged in me in November, telling me she was coming back to the UK and wanted us to meet up. We got back in regular touch and it culminated with us meeting up last month; we went for drinks and what I thought would just be a nice catch-up turned into more, there was still the same chemistry between us and after an hour it felt like nothing had changed between us, even though we went almost two years without speaking.
We hooked up, things got a bit weird and we agreed to not overthink things at this stage. We hooked up again last weekend and she's asking now what I think we should do. We've both admitted that we never stopped holding a torch for each other and I'm getting a strong sense that she wants to give us another shot. We're older and in similar places in life now, I don't think the problems we used to have would crop up anymore. And in a sense I've always seen her as the girl that got away, the great love of my young life to date.
However, it's not that simple. I graduate myself in a few months and I've made concrete plans to move to the south of France; I've been offered a job as an English teacher there, I've been learning French for over a year and it's all in motion. This girl knows this will be my life for the next year, and I'm not sure how she feels about it. Well, I know she'd rather I didn't go, but that's not an option for me.
Ideally, I want us to keep things simmering over the next year while I'm in France and she's doing her post-grad in the UK; I'll visit her, she'll visit me, we'll talk. But I'm concerned that, if we get properly back together now, that year will kill us for good.
I don't think she agrees though, think she believes that I'll met someone else out there, and I'm worried I'm going to lose her over it. Part of me wonders still if I'm just clinging to the past and should just move on.
Not sure what I'm looking for here. Advice, maybe, or even just an outsider opinion. I really feel at a crossroads.
ZackieChan
Member
Don't change your awesome plans for something that may not work out, especially for someone prone to drama.
I wouldn't not go to France, I can't wait and it's something I need as a person to grow and better myself. My problem is that I want to do that and reconcile it with finding a way to not totally burn the bridge with this girl, because down the line after travelling and developing mentally, I'll want to settle down and she's the only girl I've met to date who makes me feel strongly enough that I would settle down with her. Not sure if it's possible though. And even if it is, what if I'm closing myself off to meeting someone else who could be the genuine one?
Choice paralyses me sometimes.
always crazy bacon
Banned
She was your first girlfriend those early emotions are much stronger than usual. Move on with your emotional and relationship development and stop anchoring yourself to the past that will hold you back when you meet other women in unfairly comparing them to your ex.
It didn't work out the first time and it wont work out the 2nd time because those issues will still be there. Get that Hollywood romance story out of your head that you met "the one" the first time.
It didn't work out the first time and it wont work out the 2nd time because those issues will still be there. Get that Hollywood romance story out of your head that you met "the one" the first time.
TangerineCloud
Banned
Just got back from my third date with the woman from OKCupid. There was no sex, but we did go back to her place and make out and watch TV for two hours. It was pretty great.
Don't wanna jump the gun here, but I have a pretty good feeling about this one. Excited to see how things turns out.
Don't wanna jump the gun here, but I have a pretty good feeling about this one. Excited to see how things turns out.
Thank you – but yeah that was a load of shit lol.
So I consider myself to be pretty transparent, I told this girl straight up, let's grab a coffee together and asked for her phone number out of the blue. Any girl can figure out that's a date, I literally spoke to this girl for like, a few minutes. She told me to swing by today cause she was working the same hours today as yesterday. I did exactly that, I even texted her confirming when I was coming and she texted back, planning my whole day around that.
I get there and find out she doesn't get out for another 3 hours and has plans that evening. Apparently she thought I was literally just coming by to get coffee where she worked. Like, just for me, myself, and I. What. Why on earth would I stop her in the street, ask for her phone number, tell her we should grab coffee together, and text her confirming our plans if I just wanted to come back to that place to get a coffee by myself? I don't even LOL bear in mind this is a place that gets thousands of customers every day. Honestly why else would a guy go through all those steps...
Basically I just said, "maybe another time" and walked out. She's gorgeous but I'm not texting her again. Paid for overpriced coffee, planned my entire day around that, and walked over there for that. That's on her, she can text me if she wants
names2hard4you
Member
Maybe but some people need to hear the word "date" for it to be one. Sounds like you didn't say the magic word to me, in which case you set yourself up for this situation.
Yeah, I understand your point but I have to disagree. There's no situation where a guy would do those steps if it wasn't intended as a coffee date, hell even if you don't see it "as a date", I said, let's get coffee together some time. That's not "I'll come by and just hang out while you're working", that's two people getting a coffee together whether it's a date or not.
If I wanted to just swing by, then there was zero reason to approach her, anyone could figure that out
always crazy bacon
Banned
She's either really stupid (lucky escape for you) or she got cold feet about dating a stranger. Either way at least you did not invest too much time and proved you could sraight up get a girl to give you her number. So its not all bad.
Lol the first point you made was the first thing I said to my buddy after calling him, no offense to her. I can't understand how she missed that.
names2hard4you
Member
She probably did get cold feet ^ you not asking her on a "date" was an easy way out for her, there was no solid commitment and she just played dumb. That's what I meant by my previous post
That's a fair point. Just to explain my side, I didn't really want to straight up say "let's go on a date" to a random girl. The language is just a little too forward for someone who I only got a couple minutes to speak to, but you're right it does allow for an easy out
names2hard4you
Member
Either way give yourself a pat in the back for getting the number. You gained a bit of experience with this and learned of one of the many outcomes out of a situation like this one
Haha thanks, yeah I'm still glad I balls'd up to do it, I'm not likely to do that kinda thing much in the future but it's general good practice for being ballsy. It just sucks because, without going into too much detail, I've been talking to a girl I've been on and off with for a few years now. We're likely to be in the same city in the near future but we haven't been for a year now, so any time something like this happens, it just makes me miss that girl more.
Grease Bits
Member
So my ex and I were suppose to talk tonight and I'm just kind of starring at my phone wondering if she forgot or she just didn't care to follow through, Both make me feel like an idiot for getting my hopes up.😕
I think the shitty thing that I realise is I'll probably stay up late waiting for a message and when I wake up I'll be hoping that there will be a message waiting for me.
I think the shitty thing that I realise is I'll probably stay up late waiting for a message and when I wake up I'll be hoping that there will be a message waiting for me.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Forget about her and move on with your life, you split up once before and you'll just split up again. She didn't forget, she just does not care and the idea of you sitting there like a lovesick puppy waiting for her is probably making her thing she "won" the breakup. She'll tell you she "forgot" though.
Spend your time and effort on self improvement and finding another girlfriend.
I've seen you say this a couple times on this page and inclined to agree. I'm speaking to a girl who I've had problems with in the past (known her for three years), but we were never actually in a relationship, we just didn't understand each other fully and there was also a bigger age gap when we started seeing each other. But I have been in the situation of re-seeing an ex who I was actually in a longer term formal relationship with that had actual, real relationship problems, we saw each other four years after breaking up and it was a total disaster. It's pretty tricky to revert relationship problems, they're not likely to go away.
I'm not sure what I'm doing is right, but this is the story.
I met a girl over Tinder just over a month ago. I was never into using Tinder other than checking out cute girls. Usually if I get any matches I will just say hi and then that's it never follow thru for anything.
Just a month ago I matched someone, and she sent me a message telling me about an annual pass for a local movie theatre. We started talking, then I found we are both working in the same industry. So we exchanged number.
We have started talking to each other, I have tried to ask her out a few times but she was always busy. She did tell me it was not excuse and she wants to meet me too.
After 2 weeks of chatting, we finally agreed to go to a movie together. It was a ok day, we went for a drink after the movie. She did not talk so much, and I was kind of nervous. The whole time I was trying to come up with something to say. I sent her to the train station, but when she leaves, she didn't even said a proper good bye and she just said bye and walked away.
We have kept in contact and talked after the first meeting. Few days later we met again for a happy hour drink after work (because we worked very close to each other). That time was better, I feel like we were both more relax, and I could feel more comfortable talking to her, but she was still quite quiet until the end of the drink. She already had plan for dinner with friend that day so she had to leave first. And again, when she leave, she just stood up, and leaves without even giving me a chance to say good bye.
The next day, she asked me thru text asking me what I think about dating people from Tinder, then she started telling me she had 2 bad experience dating people from Tinder, so she is quite preserve about it now. I said ok, we can take things slow and see how thing goes.
During the next week, we met three more times. We met twice for coffee in the morning before work. And AGAIN, when she leaves to her office, she just STOOD and walked away! After a few hours, I kind of feel weird about this. So I sent her a message and ask her why did she do this? Because I have see her with her friends she met she is very friendly and talkative. But with me she is always shy and quiet. She said she is not sure, she feels there's something strange between us too. So I told her maybe next time we can hug when we say goodbye.
It comes Friday (two days ago), the same week, we were suppose to go to the art fair in town. But we got their too late and they cut off the entry. We ended up just going to dinner where I reserved a table in a very nice restaurant. Dinner was good, we talked about ourselves and our lives. We stayed in the restaurant for 3 hours just talking. After the dinner, I brought her to a friend's birthday party at a bar near the area.
And that comes the problem. At the party, there are a lot of people, I know most of them but not very close friends. There's this guy I know starting to hit on her and she responded quite positively with him. After a few round of drinks they started to get touchy. And it only escalated with the night goes. I was not impressed. So I just minded my own business with my other friends. At the end of the night, some people were planning to go somewhere else for more drinks, and I agreed to go since I feel the girl is kind of heating up with the other guy.
And when we were just leaving, she came to me, I asked her what is she gonna do, she said she has no plan and she can do anything, I asked if she wants to join us. At first she said yes, then she think maybe it's too late. I looked at her, she seems like she was kind of drunk. So I offer her I could to send her home (because I did invite her to the party, it's kind of my responsibility). When we get on the taxi, suddenly this guy who has been hitting on her came to us and try to get in with the taxi with us (he's quite drunk as well). But my friend just keep telling the taxi driver to go. On the taxi ride, we talked and I asked her if she likes me, because from the past few weeks I felt like there's something between us, but her actions shows otherwise, especially that night. So I really want to know how she feels. She told me not to ask her about this now. And she still feels there's something strange between us, like she can't openly talking to me, like she does to other people. She said we should probably resolve this problem before we move on to the next stage. At the end of the ride, because I was sitting on the side of the road, so I had to came out from the taxi to let her get off. When she came out from the taxi, she came up and hugged me, then quickly she turned away and left.
The next day (yesterday), she sent me a message to thank me to taking her out and saying she had a lot of fun, but she got very drunk. I told her I was glad that she had fun, and we didn't talk to each other after. Because I was confused. I was not sure what she was thinking. So I minded my own business the whole day. Until later the night, I message her to see how her day went, then I called her to talk but she doesn't seems like she has anything to say. Quickly, she said she has an early morning next day, then she hung up.
At that moment, I decided to send her a message, saying maybe we should take a break from talking to each other. I kind of feel tired of forcing ourselves to talk.
I did not get any response.
Today I have been thinking, if this is the right thing to do, to stop talking (Actually after I typed all these, I feel like it's the right thing to do).
I met a girl over Tinder just over a month ago. I was never into using Tinder other than checking out cute girls. Usually if I get any matches I will just say hi and then that's it never follow thru for anything.
Just a month ago I matched someone, and she sent me a message telling me about an annual pass for a local movie theatre. We started talking, then I found we are both working in the same industry. So we exchanged number.
We have started talking to each other, I have tried to ask her out a few times but she was always busy. She did tell me it was not excuse and she wants to meet me too.
After 2 weeks of chatting, we finally agreed to go to a movie together. It was a ok day, we went for a drink after the movie. She did not talk so much, and I was kind of nervous. The whole time I was trying to come up with something to say. I sent her to the train station, but when she leaves, she didn't even said a proper good bye and she just said bye and walked away.
We have kept in contact and talked after the first meeting. Few days later we met again for a happy hour drink after work (because we worked very close to each other). That time was better, I feel like we were both more relax, and I could feel more comfortable talking to her, but she was still quite quiet until the end of the drink. She already had plan for dinner with friend that day so she had to leave first. And again, when she leave, she just stood up, and leaves without even giving me a chance to say good bye.
The next day, she asked me thru text asking me what I think about dating people from Tinder, then she started telling me she had 2 bad experience dating people from Tinder, so she is quite preserve about it now. I said ok, we can take things slow and see how thing goes.
During the next week, we met three more times. We met twice for coffee in the morning before work. And AGAIN, when she leaves to her office, she just STOOD and walked away! After a few hours, I kind of feel weird about this. So I sent her a message and ask her why did she do this? Because I have see her with her friends she met she is very friendly and talkative. But with me she is always shy and quiet. She said she is not sure, she feels there's something strange between us too. So I told her maybe next time we can hug when we say goodbye.
It comes Friday (two days ago), the same week, we were suppose to go to the art fair in town. But we got their too late and they cut off the entry. We ended up just going to dinner where I reserved a table in a very nice restaurant. Dinner was good, we talked about ourselves and our lives. We stayed in the restaurant for 3 hours just talking. After the dinner, I brought her to a friend's birthday party at a bar near the area.
And that comes the problem. At the party, there are a lot of people, I know most of them but not very close friends. There's this guy I know starting to hit on her and she responded quite positively with him. After a few round of drinks they started to get touchy. And it only escalated with the night goes. I was not impressed. So I just minded my own business with my other friends. At the end of the night, some people were planning to go somewhere else for more drinks, and I agreed to go since I feel the girl is kind of heating up with the other guy.
And when we were just leaving, she came to me, I asked her what is she gonna do, she said she has no plan and she can do anything, I asked if she wants to join us. At first she said yes, then she think maybe it's too late. I looked at her, she seems like she was kind of drunk. So I offer her I could to send her home (because I did invite her to the party, it's kind of my responsibility). When we get on the taxi, suddenly this guy who has been hitting on her came to us and try to get in with the taxi with us (he's quite drunk as well). But my friend just keep telling the taxi driver to go. On the taxi ride, we talked and I asked her if she likes me, because from the past few weeks I felt like there's something between us, but her actions shows otherwise, especially that night. So I really want to know how she feels. She told me not to ask her about this now. And she still feels there's something strange between us, like she can't openly talking to me, like she does to other people. She said we should probably resolve this problem before we move on to the next stage. At the end of the ride, because I was sitting on the side of the road, so I had to came out from the taxi to let her get off. When she came out from the taxi, she came up and hugged me, then quickly she turned away and left.
The next day (yesterday), she sent me a message to thank me to taking her out and saying she had a lot of fun, but she got very drunk. I told her I was glad that she had fun, and we didn't talk to each other after. Because I was confused. I was not sure what she was thinking. So I minded my own business the whole day. Until later the night, I message her to see how her day went, then I called her to talk but she doesn't seems like she has anything to say. Quickly, she said she has an early morning next day, then she hung up.
At that moment, I decided to send her a message, saying maybe we should take a break from talking to each other. I kind of feel tired of forcing ourselves to talk.
I did not get any response.
Today I have been thinking, if this is the right thing to do, to stop talking (Actually after I typed all these, I feel like it's the right thing to do).
always crazy bacon
Banned
She's not into you. The other guy had more game +alcohol and you got jealous and cockblocked the guy she was into. You're displaying needy controlling behavior and your not even dating this girl, that's not a good look.
Ok, that sucks
always crazy bacon
Banned
Look at it this way, you found one girl through Tinder, for sure you'll find another and maybe she'll act normally on a date and then you're golden. Don't force something you already know is not there.
names2hard4you
Member
Yup you 100% dragged this one out a bit too long. Normally, I can tell by the end of the first couple of dates whether or not the person is into me/I'm into them. It seems like you two just had 0 chemistry but kept going out with each other, maybe out of convenience since you work close, or maybe because you didn't match with anyone else, I don't know. But clearly she isn't that into you, and you don't seem THAT into her either. It's time to move on.
I have my first date with this new girl today as well. As I mentioned earlier in the week, we will be rock climbing for the first time. We both hate heights. Should be fun, getting out of our comfort zone together.
I have my first date with this new girl today as well. As I mentioned earlier in the week, we will be rock climbing for the first time. We both hate heights. Should be fun, getting out of our comfort zone together.
Thanks guys, keep the bad news coming
Well we're not here to spout alternative facts to make you feel better ;p
I'm joking, it's a joke
Plenty of fish in the sea, etc etc, go find a better girl, and actually attempt to talk to people on Tindr, those weak sauce 'hi's aren't going to do shit to help you. Actually make a conversation point.
And don't be so needy, yikes
Miles Quaritch
Member
I'd actually forgotten about the office gossip aspect. Yeah, I think with that in the mix, probably not a good idea. Still, I think some office environments are better than others. There might be some chatter but not all go out of their way to stir the pot and cause all kinds of additional shit.
Miles Quaritch
Member
This should go without saying. Jesus Christ...The level of disrespect some people are willing to put up with just to be with someone is depressing as fuck.
gimp, you do realise that shit has an affect on your self esteem levels? The needy behaviour displayed is in part influenced with you putting up with such shitty behaviour. Do not contact this person again, but more importantly you need to have some standards and not allow anyone to do that shit to you.
Thank you and appreciated
ZackieChan
Member
Rule of thumb - if you've written a novella about someone you haven't even kissed yet, you are way more invested in them then they are you. Move on.
- Status