Support NeoGAF

[Reave]

I'm not sure what I'm doing is right, but this is the story.

SNIPPED

I don't think it's as simple as saying that you're acting clingy. I actually don't think that's even the real issue here. I think there might be a deeper reason behind this whole ordeal, so here's my stab at it.

Based on a few nuggets of information that you gave, I get the impression that there's some sort of scarcity-related issue you may have about women that caused you to string yourself to this blatantly dead-end experience. As a result, you haven't been letting the reality of this situation sink in; and instead of saying "fuck this" and moving on, you basically tried to give her more opportunities to try and become the girl you envisioned her to be.

So, I don't think you're clingy-obsessed with her... I think you just chose to wait too long for the chance to meet the version of her that doesn't actually exist.

Take a step back for a moment and think about what makes for a great dating venture. It should be fun, seamless, exciting, and full of connection potential from two people that seem truly ready to meet a future partner. With that in mind, it's crystal clear that your time with this girl hasn't left you feeling any of those things whatsoever. Instead, you've allowed yourself to remain thrown for a perpetual loop -- offering up patience, consideration, and multiple attempts that this girl clearly hasn't earned.

Perhaps she really is a good person at her core, but all you've seen is her troubled side, and that's not the kind of dynamic that ever leads to success in the dating/relationship realm. So, you don't need to waste your effort or thought-energy on someone like that, and you damn sure don't need to send yourself spinning when there's all sorts of other women out there that are far more capable of facilitating fun and enjoyable dating experiences with you. But, do you believe that? That's the real question here.

It's time to start asking yourself how you can prevent yourself from allowing experiences like this to drag on in the future, because let me tell you... this won't be the last time you'll meet and date someone as aloof and as conflicted as that girl. If you truly understand that there are loads of better options at your fingertips, which you should, you won't leave a window open for this kind of shit, and you definitely won't let it cause you to come unhinged with calls and texts to inquire about what's wrong, and why shit doesn't feel right (which is why people assumed you were just straight clingy).

Instead, you'd realize that you can't be someone's date and someone's psychologist at the same time, and simply move on.

 

[Lender]

Been out of the dating game for a couple of years now, but I finally might be playing the game once more.

Known a girl for 2 months now, but it's only in the last 2 weeks we really got to know each other better and really hitting it off. Been thinking about asking her out, but I'm kinda of a chicken shit when it comes to asking girls out sometimes. Lack of confidence and all. Although a mutual friend told me that she said she wouldn't say no to me if I asked her.

Got to talking last night again about all kinds of shit and we somehow get to the subject of booze. I say to her that I don't require much to get drunk, and she says that she want to go and have a drink with me to see for herself. I say that's fine for me, but I'll need to have a place to stay the night since I have to drive at which she says that I can spend the night at her place.

So next sunday night I'm gonna we're going out for drinks, and I'm really looking forward to it. Bit nervous as well, but the good kind of nervous.

 

[saizo]

Best of luck to you, let us know how it goes

 

[gimz]

.

Again, thank you for your reply. It does help me to reconsider my position in my dating life.

Some back story I would like to share. I was actually quite confidence in my 20s. I have always dated different women and had many good times. Until I was fallen for this girl and it crashed me when we separate. That made me not want to date anyone for a good couple of years (along with many other things in life, like relocation and work situation and stuff, I actually expressed my story here when it happened in 2011, you could probably still find it somehow on Neogaf). During the years I have met girls I like but I was not confidence enough to go for what I want and it depressed me. Until recently I talked to a very old good friend of mine about things, and she just felt that I was not the same person since the last break up with my ex. What my friend did was she went right to the girl and send her a message telling her she is a selfish bitch and stuff (they don't live in the same countries). And she told me about it. That made me realised I was still living in the fear. It was amazing to have someone who cares and take the action for me. That totally changed my perspective on things again, and helped me to confessed to this girl I have been obsessed with for a year. Even tho I was rejected (obviously cause of my lack of confidence for everything, imagine being obsessed with a girl for a year, oh god). It actually boosted my confidence once again. I have learnt to move on quick, thats when I started using Tinder, and came across with this girl I mentioned earlier.

I really do appreciate about everyone's opinions above, and I really didn't mind them because it just made me see things clearer and I can only learn from this experience.

Thanks again!

One more thing tho, for people saying I was cock blocking someone. I have to say, she's a date I brought, and I expect some mutual respect, like I would not try to hit on a girl my friend brought. Get your own. Maybe I'm naive. But it is something I wouldn't do. At least now I know who are not real friends.

 

[names2hard4you]

Left my home and got on the bus a little earlier so that I could make it to the spot before her. Right as I'm halfway through I get a text saying "please tell me you are still at home, I'm going to be late". Sigh. Obviously I couldn't tell her anything, but here I am at some coffee shop waiting. We scheduled for 2, but since she just said that I will probably be waiting a while. FML... Kinda pissed. Wonder if I'll be able to play it off when she eventually gets here.

 

[Ozorov]

Left my home and got on the bus a little earlier so that I could make it to the spot before her. Right as I'm halfway through I get a text saying "please tell me you are still at home, I'm going to be late". Sigh. Obviously I couldn't tell her anything, but here I am at some coffee shop waiting. We scheduled for 2, but since she just said that I will probably be waiting a while. FML... Kinda pissed. Wonder if I'll be able to play it off when she eventually gets here.

Whats the time there now?

 

[names2hard4you]

Whats the time there now?

2:08. She still hasn't left her house, she said she was changing her outfit. I'm ready to call it off. Like come on lol

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

2:08. She still hasn't left her house, she said she was changing her outfit. I'm ready to call it off. Like come on lol

Yeah, I was gonna say. I live in the city, and 99% of the time, everyone's at least 5-10 minutes late. It's pretty much expected, and I don't mind it, because I'll order a drink at the bar for myself ahead of time.

But unless she lives 5 minutes away, call it off. But allow her to reschedule (at your convenience) and make it up to you.

Gotta show that you respect your time, though.

 

[Ozorov]

Yeah, I was gonna say. I live in the city, and 99% of the time, everyone's at least 5-10 minutes late. It's pretty much expected, and I don't mind it, because I'll order a drink at the bar for myself ahead of time.

But unless she lives 5 minutes away, call it off. But allow her to reschedule (at your convenience) and make it up to you.

Gotta show that you respect your time, though.

Ye how far away do she lives?

 

[names2hard4you]

So yeah I totally left. Thanked her for wasting my time and now she's playing dumb asking why I'm mad. 30mins after she told me she'd text me that she's leaving her house. Seems I dodged a bullet.

 

[always crazy bacon]

One more thing tho, for people saying I was cock blocking someone. I have to say, she's a date I brought, and I expect some mutual respect, like I would not try to hit on a girl my friend brought. Get your own. Maybe I'm naive. But it is something I wouldn't do. At least now I know who are not real friends.

YO YO YO! You were doing so well taking the feedback, but you just could not resist coming back and editing this into your last post could you?

You said "this guy I know starting to hit on her and she responded quite positively with him. After a few round of drinks they started to get touchy. And it only escalated with the night goes. I was not impressed. So I just minded my own business with my other friends."

So your "date" is getting it on with another guy and you just walk away. You did the grand sum of exactly nothing. She was not into to you at all, she was into your friend who manned up had more game than you and I'm assuming she and him knew there was NOTHING between you and her.

Now you're going to blame your friend for your relationship failings? She didn't respect you to start with, she had no feeling and you forced it. You're just jealous your friend is better with women than you are. Move on.

 

[Solo]

So yeah I totally left. Thanked her for wasting my time and now she's playing dumb asking why I'm mad. 30mins after she told me she'd text me that she's leaving her house. Seems I dodged a bullet.

I dunno man. Yea she's giving an awful first impression in being late, but I also think you're being way too harsh in leaving and sending that text.

I'm not saying wait all night obviously, but seems she was 30 minutes late but on the way?

 

[names2hard4you]

I dunno man. Yea she's giving an awful first impression in being late, but I also think you're being way too harsh in leaving and sending that text.

I'm not saying wait all night obviously, but seems she was 30 minutes late but on the way?

We are talking now after the fact. No she was still gonna have to take public transit to get to me. She lived an hour away from that area. She was going to be around 1:30-1:45hrs late.

She seems to be very apologetic, but I told her, I have my own self worth too. She knows I live around an hour away from that place as well, so by texting me 30mins before 2 asking me if I'm still home was silly. I was obviously already on the way, and she was still getting ready to leave.

I told her I'm willing to give her a chance since she was legitimately excited up till this happened, but I'm not chasing her or anything anymore. She's gonna have to prove to me that she's worth it now.

 

[Solo]

Ahhh. Now I get it. You did the right thing then. Waiting 2 hours for her definitely would have shown her she can do whatever she wants and you'll take it. You showed backbone in calling it and leaving when you did. She should respect that and not try to pull that again. I think you give her a second chance, and if she does it again, walk away.

 

[Ozorov]

We are talking now after the fact. No she was still gonna have to take public transit to get to me. She lived an hour away from that area. She was going to be around 1:30-1:45hrs late.

She seems to be very apologetic, but I told her, I have my own self worth too. She knows I live around an hour away from that place as well, so by texting me 30mins before 2 asking me if I'm still home was silly. I was obviously already on the way, and she was still getting ready to leave.

I told her I'm willing to give her a chance since she was legitimately excited up till this happened, but I'm not chasing her or anything anymore. She's gonna have to prove to me that she's worth it now.

Damn these distances, do you live in a big big city?

 

[names2hard4you]

Damn these distances, do you live in a big big city?

Nah, Toronto. And public transit is a bitch LOL. Waiting for buses, subway, walking etc, etc. By car it would probably only be 20mins or so.

UPDATE: She said she wants to go to a movie and to go for dinner. All on her to apologize. Damn.

 

[Ozorov]

Nah, Toronto. And public transit is a bitch LOL. Waiting for buses, subway, walking etc, etc. By car it would probably only be 20mins or so.

UPDATE: She said she wants to go to a movie and to go for dinner. All on her to apologize. Damn.

Spoiler

j/k! nice of her!

 

[names2hard4you]

I accepted the invite. We are going today, but I refused to have her pay for me. I think this is the first time I actually see a situation like this one actually end well

 

[Ogodei]

Bought 6 months of OKC A-list with some Paypal money i had lying around (i leave it in reserve to pay for weird stuff on the internet like art commissions, and i had to change my username anyway, so in for a penny, in for a pound). $48 ain't bad for money i would've blown on "art" anyway.

So we'll see how that goes. Mostly just better for seeing likes, since the site sometimes sends you emails about who liked you, but not always.

 

[Ozorov]

Bought 6 months of OKC A-list with some Paypal money i had lying around (i leave it in reserve to pay for weird stuff on the internet like art commissions, and i had to change my username anyway, so in for a penny, in for a pound). $48 ain't bad for money i would've blown on "art" anyway.

So we'll see how that goes. Mostly just better for seeing likes, since the site sometimes sends you emails about who liked you, but not always.

Whats A-list? Something like Tinder Boost or?

 

[Mihael Mello Keehl]

Yeah, totally recently posted here about parents trying to set me up... new story.

Don't shit where you eat. I don't shit where I eat. I stay away from even trying to think about anyone in the work place as someone I'd have a relationship with... so obviously this is going to be about that.

Things she be doin:
Gettin reeeaaaal close when she talks to me... like rubbing shoulders close. 8-10 inches from my face close.

Didn't really think about it any of this today, but she was working my floor and was being really... available.

End of the shift she does something none of our RT's ever do, and walks up to me, says she has to go back to her dept... and then stays and talks to me for 10 more minutes.

Coworker saw this and was like... dude she's totally flirting with you, it's so obvious.

? Okay ?

So:
Does this sound flirty?

I'm skeptical because it's just weird man. She's really hot, and I'm not exactly looking the best I ever have right now, y'know?
Even if she was, this is a risky ass endeavor. If I'm wrong, it could mean potential fucking awkwardness forever.

But let's be serious I'm probably gonna ask her out.

Did you do it? Let me know how it go cause im gon do it soon

 

[gaiages]

Did you do it? Let me know how it go cause im gon do it soon

What, you're gonna ask a coworker out? >.>

 

[Ogodei]

Whats A-list? Something like Tinder Boost or?

Mostly just good for seeing who likes you, which vanilla OKC blocks (although they send you emails when somebody likes you sometimes, that link straight to that account). You also need it to be able to change your username.

Then there's A-List Premium, and that's the one that fucks with the algorithms and makes sure you're front and center all the time (along with the other premium payers).

And they gave me one boost, so i can get some likes on-side.

 

[names2hard4you]

Just got back. She ended up being a really sweet girl and we hit it off really well. She was still apologetic about the situation I mentioned before this post and being late earlier in the day, but she made up for it with the dinner and movies (on the same day, flakers take notes). Let's see where things go from here.

 

[Mihael Mello Keehl]

What, you're gonna ask a coworker out? >.>

Hell yeah

 

[Salamando]

What, you're gonna ask a coworker out? >.>

"don't date coworkers" is easily the most ignored piece of advice here.

As much as there's the potential awkwardness from a rejection, her saying "yes" could be worse. If there's a nasty breakup, you can't create space between you. If you get serious, then you're spending 20+ hours a day with this person, every day, for years. That I see that as a downside may say more about me than anything...

Whats A-list? Something like Tinder Boost or?

Gives you a bunch of extra tools ranging from the handy ("See who liked your profile!") to the neutral ("Increased inbox?") to the potentially dangerous to overthinkers ("See if she read your message! And then creep her profile invisibly for her 'last online'").

 

[Leeness]

"don't date coworkers" is easily the most ignored piece of advice here.

As much as there's the potential awkwardness from a rejection, her saying "yes" could be worse. If there's a nasty breakup, you can't create space between you. If you get serious, then you're spending 20+ hours a day with this person, every day, for years. That I see that as a downside may say more about me than anything...

To be fair, some conditions can lead to it working out... My aunt and uncle met in the office, are now married and still work in the same office.

But they work in different practices and don't really see each other during the day.

 

[Mihael Mello Keehl]

If it work it work if it dont it dont. I really aint thinking bout that though. I think the advice is sound but it really doesnt mean anything at the end of the day.

 

[always crazy bacon]

If it work it work if it dont it dont. I really aint thinking bout that though. I think the advice is sound but it really doesnt mean anything at the end of the day.

So why haven't you asked her out since you posted about it a few days ago? You just missed a weekend.

 

[Salamando]

To be fair, some conditions can lead to it working out... My aunt and uncle met in the office, are now married and still work in the same office.

But they work in different practices and don't really see each other during the day.

That's always been one of the caveats. If space exists (or you can create it if necessary), proceed.

If it work it work if it dont it dont. I really aint thinking bout that though. I think the advice is sound but it really doesnt mean anything at the end of the day.

...please tell me you recognize the contradiction in calling the advice "sound" and "not meaning anything"...

You do you though. Dating coworkers will never be for me...I like some space when things are going good...and need it when things have gone to shit.

 

[Mihael Mello Keehl]

So why haven't you asked her out since you posted about it a few days ago? You just missed a weekend.

She aint been to work since Thursday. Also im not in a rush. Still tryna get a better feel for her and gathering all of the "advice" I can before we get into another situation where we can talk about non work stuff. We usually take break, "unintentionally" at the same time but when we have less team members somedays I end up skipping the break to keep working. The next time I see myself talking to her on break is Thursday.

 

[Mihael Mello Keehl]

That's always been one of the caveats. If space exists (or you can create it if necessary), proceed.

...please tell me you recognize the contradiction in calling the advice "sound" and "not meaning anything"...

You do you though. Dating coworkers will never be for me...I like some space when things are going good...and need it when things have gone to shit.

Your right it is a contradiction. Im just saying everyone is different and every situation is different. My cousin married his coworker so obviously its not the worst thing that can happen. And guess what, they dont work in the same place anymore. lol

 

[Mory Dunz]

Just got back. She ended up being a really sweet girl and we hit it off really well. She was still apologetic about the situation I mentioned before this post and being late earlier in the day, but she made up for it with the dinner and movies (on the same day, flakers take notes). Let's see where things go from here.

So did she ever offer a reason for being, I forgot what you said, like 1.5 hrs late? I mean, that's next level.


Hopefully it doesn't happen again. Good that it went well

 

[Leeness]

That's always been one of the caveats. If space exists (or you can create it if necessary), proceed.

Pretty much! Haha. I guess it can work under the right conditions.

Spoiler

I have a major crush on a coworker right now, which is a weird and very rare occurrence for me. We're on different floors, though we chat through IM most days. He's engaged though, lol. So I'm just waiting for the crush to go away so we can be work friends or acquaintances or something. Kill me lol

 

[Salamando]

Your right it is a contradiction. Im just saying everyone is different and every situation is different. My cousin married his coworker so obviously its not the worst thing that can happen. And guess what, they dont work in the same place anymore. lol

That's the one thing every one of these situations has in common - the people think theirs is different enough to beat the odds.

The only advice you need is in the thread title. Takes just 30 seconds to ask her out on a date...you don't need to wait for a mutual break. Getting a better feel for her? If you like her enough to solicit advice from internet strangers on how to ask her out, you like her enough to ask her out.

Pretty much! Haha. I guess it can work under the right conditions.

Spoiler

I have a major crush on a coworker right now, which is a weird and very rare occurrence for me. We're on different floors, though we chat through IM most days. He's engaged though, lol. So I'm just waiting for the crush to go away so we can be work friends or acquaintances or something. Kill me lol

Guuuurrrl! Were it not for the engagement, you should steer into that crush (though the impossibility caused by the engagement likely helped foster the crush). Consider writing down these feelings in a journal somewhere. You need to remember you're capable of feeling crushes like this...hopefully for a more ideal candidate in the future.

 

[always crazy bacon]

That's the one thing every one of these situations has in common - the people think theirs is different enough to beat the odds.

Yup and in relationship topics there's always the one the enabler stating it worked for them vs the many saying stay away. OP listens to the 0.1% because it's what they want to hear.

 

[Mihael Mello Keehl]

That's the one thing every one of these situations has in common - the people think theirs is different enough to beat the odds.

The only advice you need is in the thread title. Takes just 30 seconds to ask her out on a date...you don't need to wait for a mutual break. Getting a better feel for her? If you like her enough to solicit advice from internet strangers on how to ask her out, you like her enough to ask her out.

Well if you aint tryna beat the odds you aint living properly,

Like I said, Im taking it slow. No rush here, she happen to meet another guy.. then thats that. No biggie here. I feel like the thread title is kind of silly personally.

And I do need a mutual break or atleast when we walk to our cars when we're off. Thats the only time I talk to her, when Im at my desk I have my head phones on or Im just really into my work. Not bout to google chat her or anything while we working.

I do things slow because im very observant.

 

[Leeness]

Guuuurrrl! Were it not for the engagement, you should steer into that crush (though the impossibility caused by the engagement likely helped foster the crush). Consider writing down these feelings in a journal somewhere. You need to remember you're capable of feeling crushes like this...hopefully for a more ideal candidate in the future.

No thanks. I don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable, weak and kind of stupid. Haha. Like I said, very rare (maybe the second time this has ever happened to this extent) and I just don't like it. So...will wait for it to go away and continue as I normally do.

 

[neurosisxeno]

Dating co-workers is almost always a bad time. Then again I made out with a co-worker who had a boyfriend on St. Paddy's day so who am I to judge.

 

[Count Dookkake]

The cuck of the Irish.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Well if you aint tryna beat the odds you aint living properly,

Like I said, Im taking it slow. No rush here, she happen to meet another guy.. then thats that. No biggie here. I feel like the thread title is kind of silly personally.

And I do need a mutual break or atleast when we walk to our cars when we're off. Thats the only time I talk to her, when Im at my desk I have my head phones on or Im just really into my work. Not bout to google chat her or anything while we working.

I do things slow because im very observant.

So you're observant. Has she sent you any signals or signs that she might be interested in you as more than just friends/coworkers? Please tell me it's not only tke taking breaks together thing...

And while you might think you're taking things slowly, there is such a think as inaction and that often comes about through a fear of rejection. Do you often find yourself waiting weeks to talk to someone or ask them out?

 

[ZackieChan]

The cuck of the Irish.

Ayyyyy

 

[Mihael Mello Keehl]

So you're observant. Has she sent you any signals or signs that she might be interested in you as more than just friends/coworkers? Please tell me it's not only tke taking breaks together thing...

And while you might think you're taking things slowly, there is such a think as inaction and that often comes about through a fear of rejection. Do you often find yourself waiting weeks to talk to someone or ask them out?

Well I'm quiet at work. If I say something or do something most of my coworkers will get all bouncy and get excited to tell the office their NEW exclusive scoop on Mello. Funny thing is, I told her some stuff that I was full blown expecting her to share with everyone and she kept quiet as if she wanna keep it to herself. Its like some mutual agreement we made without even saying anything. She laughs at my jokes, lock eyes, and just feel very free to discuss things with. Anyway I was showing her some art I did on instagram last week and she was impressed by it and then asked for my personal and business instagram and followed. She just seem very happy to talk and have a conversation with me. I originally became interested because she came to me first just conversation about dumb stuff (like car colors and shit) and im like "wtf is her problem, TF?" Eventually i just start thinking it was cool and different change of pace of girls I usually go after. Trust me I only fuck with baddies but this girl is like lame as lame can get but the personality is on one. I can usually tell when a girl want something from me. Last chick just wanted to fuck. lol.

And im not scared of rejection, been rejected plenty times and got ghosted. I treat everyone like this not just women I may be interested in. I dont really like interacting with someone that just talk to be talking. Or not genuinely interested in what im saying back or hobbies or life or whatever. Had to cut my friends circle smaller because of people just be energy vampires. I aint got time for that.

I only ask a chick out if we friends first, I been through some thangs. Sometimes you just get used for energy, sex whatever. I feel if you develop that friendship first you gain a trust someone wont do it to you in a relationship. And like I said im in no rush. If I was desperately looking for a woman Id go make a pof or tinder or something. I only like real life interactions though and those arent my style.

 

[Ozorov]

"don't date coworkers" is easily the most ignored piece of advice here.

As much as there's the potential awkwardness from a rejection, her saying "yes" could be worse. If there's a nasty breakup, you can't create space between you. If you get serious, then you're spending 20+ hours a day with this person, every day, for years. That I see that as a downside may say more about me than anything...


Gives you a bunch of extra tools ranging from the handy ("See who liked your profile!") to the neutral ("Increased inbox?") to the potentially dangerous to overthinkers ("See if she read your message! And then creep her profile invisibly for her 'last online'").

That one seems bad for some.

Just got back. She ended up being a really sweet girl and we hit it off really well. She was still apologetic about the situation I mentioned before this post and being late earlier in the day, but she made up for it with the dinner and movies (on the same day, flakers take notes). Let's see where things go from here.

Sweet!

 

[neurosisxeno]

The cuck of the Irish.

Not my proudest moment.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Well I'm quiet at work. If I say something or do something most of my coworkers will get all bouncy and get excited to tell the office their NEW exclusive scoop on Mello. Funny thing is, I told her some stuff that I was full blown expecting her to share with everyone and she kept quiet as if she wanna keep it to herself. Its like some mutual agreement we made without even saying anything. She laughs at my jokes, lock eyes, and just feel very free to discuss things with. Anyway I was showing her some art I did on instagram last week and she was impressed by it and then asked for my personal and business instagram and followed. She just seem very happy to talk and have a conversation with me. I originally became interested because she came to me first just conversation about dumb stuff (like car colors and shit) and im like "wtf is her problem, TF?" Eventually i just start thinking it was cool and different change of pace of girls I usually go after. Trust me I only fuck with baddies but this girl is like lame as lame can get but the personality is on one. I can usually tell when a girl want something from me. Last chick just wanted to fuck. lol.

And im not scared of rejection, been rejected plenty times and got ghosted. I treat everyone like this not just women I may be interested in. I dont really like interacting with someone that just talk to be talking. Or not genuinely interested in what im saying back or hobbies or life or whatever. Had to cut my friends circle smaller because of people just be energy vampires. I aint got time for that.

I only ask a chick out if we friends first, I been through some thangs. Sometimes you just get used for energy, sex whatever. I feel if you develop that friendship first you gain a trust someone wont do it to you in a relationship. And like I said im in no rush. If I was desperately looking for a woman Id go make a pof or tinder or something. I only like real life interactions though and those arent my style.

I'd say she's just being friendly and nothing there suggests she wants more, but what do I know... I'm sure there's more to it that you haven't shared.

And being friends first, you should probably stop doing that. It gives off the wrong vibe to others who think they've found a friend but end up having to distance themselves because you were just biding your time.

 

[Monkeyball]

If your partner gains 40 pounds within 2 years of becoming a couple how do you deal with that? The physical attraction is really hurt by it.

 

[Ozorov]

If your partner gains 40 pounds within 2 years of becoming a couple how do you deal with that? The physical attraction is really hurt by it.

Do you work out? If so, try to get him/her to join you.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

If your partner gains 40 pounds within 2 years of becoming a couple how do you deal with that? The physical attraction is really hurt by it.

Health related reason or...?

Talk to them about it. That's all you can do, if it's not health related and they refuse to try and change their diet/exercise more, well... I'd break it off at that point.

It's not just because of attraction either. How can anyone build a life with someone who gains that much weight in just 2 years and refuses to change their ways?

 

[Mediking]

Pretty much! Haha. I guess it can work under the right conditions.

Spoiler

I have a major crush on a coworker right now, which is a weird and very rare occurrence for me. We're on different floors, though we chat through IM most days. He's engaged though, lol. So I'm just waiting for the crush to go away so we can be work friends or acquaintances or something. Kill me lol

Kinda funny you mentioned this... I know a coworker whose married in her early 20's and I swear... its like she flirts nearly all the time. I've managed to become friends with her because she's hilarious but I never cross the line.

Always best to just close your eyes and fantasize. Lol

And...

Spoiler

you rarely have crushes?