I'm sorry, I haven't yet experienced a break up myself but if it were to happen, I think the thing to do would be to explore new things to do. Try to develop hobbies and find new things to like, and spend time on. A lot of people always suggest going to the Gym if you don't already, and I can tell you first hand that going to the gym, while painful, makes you feel better about yourself because you are taking literal steps to become healthier and stronger and boosts your self esteem, something that is quite low at the end of a relationship. Just give it time.
We have one suggestion that we'll parrot until the universe meets its entropic heat death - hit the gym. Not because you're ugly or anything like that...you have a lot of time and energy and you need something to focus it on. It's hard to think about life when you're counting reps, maintaining proper form, and breathing properly.
Hit the gym, find new/old hobbies to take joy in. Take some time to yourself--jumping asap into a new relationship won't help you as a person, despite the comfort it might bring.
I do recommend exercising a better social balance with your friends next time around though (if possible). Devoting all your time into a relationship can be taxing in its own right, we all still need to be individuals
Lift heavy weights. Seriously.
Also is there some activity you always wanted to try but couldnt find the time to do? Right now, plan to do it. Do it this week if possible. No is the time to try new things and build yourself up bud. It's gonna take a while to get over a 5 year relationship but being busy and active with help.
Thank-you for the over whelming responses. The ball hockey league and pickup hockey that I do literally just ended a couple of weeks ago so my main physical hobbies are donezo. Doing the gym sounds like the right choice, I need it and I've always found that I felt great after doing physical actives.
Plus this video kind of hit home with me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mbp0DugfCA
Does not compute.
Spend that time finding a job. Network in your field. Do freelance work. Start a business in your field. Write insightful stuff in your field that makes you seem like an expert and get noticed.
Although a lot of people have suggested hitting the gym, I think that getting a job is more important. Yes, searching for a job can be tough but many girls are more interested in a stable man than a man with a six pack. Concentrate on getting a job first, then get other things in order before getting back on the dating scene
You're both right; this relationship has been taking up a considerable amount of my time these past few awful weeks and it's about time I really commit to getting a job in my field; not just applying through e-mail. I've spent a good chunk of today applying, and I've selected a few jobs that I'll be personally delivering my resume to their offices and reaching out to people on LinkedIn.
Thank-you all for your thoughts. It means a lot of me.
One thing that I found surprising today was that every friend who I lost contact with has been super supportive with everything I'm going through. Phone calls, messaging, setting up nights together, building up my confidence... I guess I didn't expect that and well I feel loved (as corny as that sounds).
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I mean searching for a job all day every day is pretty goddamn depressing. At least go to the gym to break up the soul crushing nature of it. I mean the gym will probably be an hour or so a few times a week anyway.
Yeah, job searching is soul crushing. Finding an excuse to leave the house for a bit is always nice. I'm going to try to do it several times a week, it will be a nice break and luckily the one nearby is cheap.
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I really screwed up today and I know it. I e-mailed her once, messaged her and let her a message on her phone... That's not healthy and is pretty much crazy ex-boyfriend material (though atleast I didn't send her horrible things, just saying how horrible it was how we left things and how if she ever wanted to talk about it...). I really wish I didn't do that. I need to accept that it's over and that if she wants to talk about it she can reach me. I deleted her from my phone just to make sure I don't do that again :/ I'm struggling, but I hope I can get myself on the right path.