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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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C

chicko1983

Member
I just texted and organised to have some drinks with my work crush when we submit our current project to the client in a couple weeks time. I'm taking this as a good sign she wants to hang out with me outside of work.

I hope she doesn't ask anyone else to come along...I'm too chickenshit to ask her out on a date...look how bad this looks slaifer, haha
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
chicko1983 said:
I just texted and organised to have some drinks with my work crush when we submit our current project to the client in a couple weeks time. I'm taking this as a good sign she wants to hang out with me outside of work.

I hope she doesn't ask anyone else to come along...I'm too chickenshit to ask her out on a date...look how bad this looks slaifer, haha
Click to expand...

There's a way you can make sure she doesn't invite anyone else, but you're too scared to take that step, so you'll continue to live a life of empty, desperate hope that you can have an hour or two alone with her and do absolutely anything.

It's not something to laugh about or be self deprecating about. Do something, because right now you're wasting time and energy obsessing over someone who you don't even know likes you back. Take the risk and see what happens.
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
slaifer said:
Alright, I'll find a way to talk to her at the party before I start drinking way too much.
Click to expand...

Why not try to arrange a pre party meet up where you have a bite to eat and head to the party together?

That gives you some breathing room to talk to her and not have to worry about people getting in the way, drinking too much, etc.
 
L

LegendofDragoonLives

Member
chicko1983 said:
I just texted and organised to have some drinks with my work crush when we submit our current project to the client in a couple weeks time. I'm taking this as a good sign she wants to hang out with me outside of work.

I hope she doesn't ask anyone else to come along...I'm too chickenshit to ask her out on a date...look how bad this looks slaifer, haha
Click to expand...
Be proactive my brother because if you don't ask, someone else will. And I've looked at it this way for a decade. Better to get rejected than to wonder. And that's with anything, going after dreams, asking a girl, etc etc. You don't want to wonder or look for some magical occasion.

Sometimes you need to pull up your big boy pants and be a man. Ask her out and good luck :)
 
S

slaifer

Neo Member
Miles Quaritch said:
Why not try to arrange a pre party meet up where you have a bite to eat and head to the party together?

That gives you some breathing room to talk to her and not have to worry about people getting in the way, drinking too much, etc.
Click to expand...

Ever seen the movie High Rise? I live in a similar place without the crap that happens in the movie. We both live in the same place. So it will be a bit hard to find some time to meet up before because I'll most likely be busy setting things up for the pre drinks before heading out.
 
T

True Savior

Member
chicko1983 said:
I just texted and organised to have some drinks with my work crush when we submit our current project to the client in a couple weeks time. I'm taking this as a good sign she wants to hang out with me outside of work.

I hope she doesn't ask anyone else to come along...I'm too chickenshit to ask her out on a date...look how bad this looks slaifer, haha
Click to expand...

Couple of weeks? Ask her out tomorrow.
 
C

Count Dookkake

Member
slaifer said:
I've got this thing that I need to know the person a little before going on a date ¯_(ツ)_/¯. First time we went out was with her roommate and rommate's boyfriend, 2nd time again with her roommate and a friend of mine, third time was just me and her.

I guess I'm running out of time and better hurry up.
Click to expand...

"This thing" is a euphemism for cowardice.

What the eff do you need to know?
 
E

Ernest

Banned
Got set up with two different women, and I can't choose...

Went out with each of them once, and I don't want to lead either of them on.

I like them both equally, though they are rather different from each other.

One is well above-average appearance-wise, average intelligence-wise, fun, outgoing and active - she sets off a couple "crazy" red flags, but nothing major and nothing I can't handle.

The other is average appearance-wise, above average intelligence-wise, not quite as outgoing, but not exactly a stick in the mud either, more sane/stable, doesn't really set off any red flags.

They are both equally sweet/kind with similar liberal outlooks as me.

I'm honestly stuck...
 
iNvid02

iNvid02

Member
she sets off a couple "crazy" red flags, but nothing major and nothing I can't handle.
Click to expand...

does not compute, if they're nothing major and you can handle them then they don't sound particularly crazy

crazy red flags are ones which you can likely foresee destabilising the whole damn relationship in the future imo
 
L

LucidMomentum

Member
timetokill said:
Huh, okay. I guess I was just thinking in an old-fashioned way. I'm gonna find out what her weekend plans are tonight then.
Click to expand...

Don't find out. Come up with plans and then ask if she wants to be a part of them.

Don't make it open ended. Make it definite and clear that you're interested.

You take the risk of rejection sure, but c'mon. Better to know than keep guessing, unless you live for that awkward feeling of "maybe".

Also Ernest, the only option is a threesome.

Whichever one backs out is the one you don't go with.

If neither back out, congrats. You now live in an anime.

Don't fucking do this.
 
E

Ernest

Banned
iNvid02 said:
does not compute, if they're nothing major and you can handle them then they don't sound particularly crazy

crazy red flags are ones which you can likely foresee destabilising the whole damn relationship in the future imo
Click to expand...
Somewhere between those two. I'm mostly just conflating her eagerness and somewhat heightened emotions with "crazy". I've been around the block enough to know that no one is fully sane. There are just certain "crazy" behaviors each specific person can deal with and others not. It depends on each person.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Ernest said:
Somewhere between those two. I'm mostly just conflating her eagerness and somewhat heightened emotions with "crazy". I've been around the block enough to know that no one is fully sane. There are just certain "crazy" behaviors each specific person can deal with and others not. It depends on each person.
Click to expand...
Your trying to rationalise a bad decision. Im guessing its because shes more attractive.
 
E

Ernest

Banned
always crazy bacon said:
Your trying to rationalise a bad decision. Im guessing its because shes more attractive.
Click to expand...
Perhaps.
But it's a legitimate thing if I'm more physically attracted to one than the other.
But there's also something to be said about intellectual attraction I have for the other.
Then there's emotional attraction, which they are on equal footing.
hmm...
Think I'll need to go out with each one more time.
One date isn't quite enough to by, huh?
 
C

Curt Baboon

Member
So about three weeks ago I had sex with a girl I had a thing for back when we were co-workers. We kind dated last November and she has always been the one who starts the whole thing up.

Well, we've been texting back and forth for weeks and whenever I suggest that we see each other she straight up changes the subject, or worse yet; tells me to meet up on a Tuesday at her place and then I don't hear from her for pretty much the entire day.

So I assume this was a one-time thing or that she's dating some other people, which is totally fine and I'm sort of doing the same. The problem is that I don't want to have my time wasted by this girl who I know can kind of fuck me up emotionally if given the chance, so I tell her that it's weird that she changes the subject whenever I bring up seeing each other and that it would be cool if she told me if she actually wanted to meet up or if we were a one-time thing (it sounded better than that, I swear)...

Then nothing from her. Like ten hours later she writes back with some random ass story about nothing instead of an actual response like always and I just decide to stop responding.

A day later I wake up to a row of maybe-playful-but-who-knows-really middle finger emojis from this girl and I'm just laughing. This was today, and I don't feel like responding anymore unless she addresses any of the things I've brought up.

It's not like we're anything, this girl and I; and I don't even expect to see her (for a while, at least) but I do feel like I'm being kind of a bitchy cunt with the passive aggressive thing.

Am I being unreasonable, or is this as frustrating as I hopefully made it sound?
 
S

Salamando

Member
Ernest said:
Perhaps.
But it's a legitimate thing if I'm more physically attracted to one than the other.
But there's also something to be said about intellectual attraction I have for the other.
Then there's emotional attraction, which they are on equal footing.
hmm...
Think I'll need to go out with each one more time.
One date isn't quite enough to by, huh?
Click to expand...
You're allowed to - and should - date multiple people at the same time. You should stop whenever it becomes a bad idea to continue. (sample of those times - you realize they're coworkers, you have the exclusivity talk, you realize you don't give a shit about one)
Curt Baboon said:
So about three weeks ago I had sex with a girl I had a thing for back when we were co-workers. We kind dated last November and she has always been the one who starts the whole thing up.

Well, we've been texting back and forth for weeks and whenever I suggest that we see each other she straight up changes the subject, or worse yet; tells me to meet up on a Tuesday at her place and then I don't hear from her for pretty much the entire day.

So I assume this was a one-time thing or that she's dating some other people, which is totally fine and I'm sort of doing the same. The problem is that I don't want to have my time wasted by this girl who I know can kind of fuck me up emotionally if given the chance, so I tell her that it's weird that she changes the subject whenever I bring up seeing each other and that it would be cool if she told me if she actually wanted to meet up or if we were a one-time thing (it sounded better than that, I swear)...

Then nothing from her. Like ten hours later she writes back with some random ass story about nothing instead of an actual response like always and I just decide to stop responding.

A day later I wake up to a row of maybe-playful-but-who-knows-really middle finger emojis from this girl and I'm just laughing. This was today, and I don't feel like responding anymore unless she addresses any of the things I've brought up.

It's not like we're anything, this girl and I; and I don't even expect to see her (for a while, at least) but I do feel like I'm being kind of a bitchy cunt with the passive aggressive thing.

Am I being unreasonable, or is this as frustrating as I hopefully made it sound?
Click to expand...
You're good. She's flaky and wasting your time, you called her out on it. Up to you if you want to continue being text-friends.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Oblivion said:
Alrighty, I'll check out Bumble. Guess it couldn't hurt.



Not when I tried it. Every time I tried to "like" (or whatever you call it) someone it charged me bagels.
Click to expand...
Huh? Are you trying to like people on "Discover"? That's why it's costing bagels (actually, beans).
Your daily swipes are free. It usually gives you one-three to check out each day on the left-most screen. However, if it's not finding much compatible, it may have nothing. Sometimes it gives you a free Discover like if it's not finding anyone compatible.
There's a super cute, age-appropriate woman on my Discover right now, but I sure as hell ain't paying the money to get the necessary beans. Or maybe I will...

Ernest said:
Got set up with two different women, and I can't choose...

Went out with each of them once, and I don't want to lead either of them on.

I like them both equally, though they are rather different from each other.

One is well above-average appearance-wise, average intelligence-wise, fun, outgoing and active - she sets off a couple "crazy" red flags, but nothing major and nothing I can't handle.

The other is average appearance-wise, above average intelligence-wise, not quite as outgoing, but not exactly a stick in the mud either, more sane/stable, doesn't really set off any red flags.

They are both equally sweet/kind with similar liberal outlooks as me.

I'm honestly stuck...
Click to expand...
Man, which image do I post?
pp.jpg

or
HotCrazyGuy2.png
 
C

Count Dookkake

Member
Ernest said:
Got set up with two different women, and I can't choose...

Went out with each of them once, and I don't want to lead either of them on.

I like them both equally, though they are rather different from each other.

One is well above-average appearance-wise, average intelligence-wise, fun, outgoing and active - she sets off a couple "crazy" red flags, but nothing major and nothing I can't handle.

The other is average appearance-wise, above average intelligence-wise, not quite as outgoing, but not exactly a stick in the mud either, more sane/stable, doesn't really set off any red flags.

They are both equally sweet/kind with similar liberal outlooks as me.

I'm honestly stuck...
Click to expand...

Which would you rather have sex with?

Therein lies the real answer.
 
S

Salamando

Member
gaiages said:
Actually the answer lies in "don't stick your dick in crazy" since one of them is already setting off """"""minor"""""" red flags
Click to expand...

I once denied a girl a dick. It was then the crazy was unleashed. "Text messages at 5AM with suggestions for an out-of-state trip we should take"-levels of crazy.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Count Dookkake said:
That's only for the weak and the timid.
Click to expand...

Pro mode, if you stick your dick in crazy get out before the crazy is directed at you.

This one girl I had a casual thing with was pure crazy but I could see it moving to the red line so I ended it with "lets just be friends". My colleague made a B line right towards her after that having being "charmed" by the stories I told of what she was like to have sex with and put himself right in drama central dealing with attempted suicides and a simpy crying ex boyfriend my colleague had befriended in order to get closer to the girl.

I was like popcorn.gif
 
E

Ernest

Banned
Count Dookkake said:
That's only for the weak and the timid.

Anyway, the alleged red flags don't sound all that serious.
Click to expand...
They're not.
Salamando said:
I once denied a girl a dick. It was then the crazy was unleashed. "Text messages at 5AM with suggestions for an out-of-state trip we should take"-levels of crazy.
Click to expand...
Exactly. I've dated actual crazy, and this is not that. If it were, I wouldn't even be asking.
Count Dookkake said:
Which would you rather have sex with?

Therein lies the real answer.
Click to expand...
Just based on one date, the more attractive one, obviously. But the best sex I've ever had (except for "crazy" sex - god, I hate cliches) was when the emotional intimacy was the deepest. The deeper that was, the less the physical aspect mattered. That's why it could go either way.
 
X

Xun

Member
I had a 3rd date with a girl last night, but I'm not really feeling it.

She messaged me after the date asking me out for next week, but I'm going to message her shortly and end it.

I feel terrible since I know she's really into me and I've never really been the heartbreaker before...
 
V

vern

Member
Xun said:
I had a 3rd date with a girl last night, but I'm not really feeling it.

She messaged me after the date asking me out for next week, but I'm going to message her shortly and end it.

I feel terrible since I know she's really into me and I've never really been the heartbreaker before...
Click to expand...

You won't break her heart after 3 dates. Don't think too much.
 
T

True Savior

Member
Ernest said:
Got set up with two different women, and I can't choose...
Went out with each of them once, and I don't want to lead either of them on.
I like them both equally, though they are rather different from each other.
One is well above-average appearance-wise, average intelligence-wise, fun, outgoing and active - she sets off a couple "crazy" red flags, but nothing major and nothing I can't handle.
The other is average appearance-wise, above average intelligence-wise, not quite as outgoing, but not exactly a stick in the mud either, more sane/stable, doesn't really set off any red flags.
They are both equally sweet/kind with similar liberal outlooks as me.
I'm honestly stuck...
Click to expand...

You went out once with each other. Once. That's a non-existent relationship between two people. Go out more. Have sex. Choose.
 
X

Xun

Member
vern said:
You won't break her heart after 3 dates. Don't think too much.
Click to expand...

Miles Quaritch said:
If she really has her heartbroken after three dates, you dodged a major bullet.

No-one should be that be attached after that short amount of time.
Click to expand...
She's incredibly attached already to be honest.

I've sometimes sent messages in WhatsApp and they were immediately read by her, which implies she had our chat open.

I matched with her in January, but because I came down with Mono I held off from speaking that much until March.
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
Xun said:
She's incredibly attached already to be honest.

I've sometimes sent messages in WhatsApp and they were immediately read by her, which implies she had our chat open.

I matched with her in January, but because I came down with Mono I held off from speaking that much until March.
Click to expand...

Jesus, so she's sat there staring at the chat waiting for you to come online?

Or it's just a coincidence that you message her the same time she's reading old messages...
 
S

Salamando

Member
Xun said:
She's incredibly attached already to be honest.

I've sometimes sent messages in WhatsApp and they were immediately read by her, which implies she had our chat open.

I matched with her in January, but because I came down with Mono I held off from speaking that much until March.
Click to expand...

Doesn't Whatsapp have notifications? If she read it immediately, it just means she was just on her phone at the time.

Even if she is that into you, staying with her will only make the problem worse and waste both of your times. It's better to lop off the zombie-bitten limb than to wait for the disease to spread.
 
X

Xun

Member
Miles Quaritch said:
Jesus, so she's sat there staring at the chat waiting for you to come online?

Or it's just a coincidence that you message her the same time she's reading old messages...
Click to expand...

Salamando said:
Doesn't Whatsapp have notifications? If she read it immediately, it just means she was just on her phone at the time.

Even if she is that into you, staying with her will only make the problem worse and waste both of your times. It's better to lop off the zombie-bitten limb than to wait for the disease to spread.
Click to expand...
She was "online" and the ticks went immediately blue the moment they were sent.

That to me implies she saw I was typing.
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
I'm taking it as Xun meaning it was read the second it was sent, that only happens if you're already in the chat/already have the app open.

Xun said:
She was "online" and the ticks went immediately blue the moment they were sent.

That to me implies she saw I was typing.
Click to expand...

There it is.

Bail my dude.
 
artsi

artsi

Member
I set up a coffee date with this girl for tuesday. Now she suggested maybe we should do something else than coffee as we've been talking for some time on whatsapp.

I assume she wants some kind of sport / activity thing, but honestly I hate them for first dates.

Can't miss this though, the girl is a fitness competitor and tiiiiight.
 
A

APZonerunner

Member
Xun said:
She was "online" and the ticks went immediately blue the moment they were sent.

That to me implies she saw I was typing.
Click to expand...

Worth pointing out if you use whatsapp web it marks you online as long as the tab is open, and it has PC-based notifications - so if she has it open on her computer at work or something she'd be able to see the notification, tab across & see the message in seconds. If your conversation was her last open one I think it automatically marks them as read even if it isn't the primary tab, too.

Or she's nuts. It could be either.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Count Dookkake said:
That's only for the weak and the timid.

Anyway, the alleged red flags don't sound all that serious.
Click to expand...

I'll admit they don't sound all that serious now, but so many crazy people stories begin with "oh I thought she was okay, just a couple of weird things, and now I don't have a kidney" lol

But yeah, he seems aware of them so as long as he isn't blinded by the cooch, he should be fine.

timetokill said:
Not looking good XD
Click to expand...

It was only an hour between your two posts, stop hovering over your phone. People have lives and things that makes them not glued to their phones 24/7.

Unless you mean she didn't say yes, and well that's that.

artsi said:
I set up a coffee date with this girl for tuesday. Now she suggested maybe we should do something else than coffee as we've been talking for some time on whatsapp.

I assume she wants some kind of sport / activity thing, but honestly I hate them for first dates.

Can't miss this though, the girl is a fitness competitor and tiiiiight.
Click to expand...

If she wants to do something else, ask her what she wants to do :p If you don't wanna do it, I'm sure you two can come to a compromise if you two want to.
 
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