artsi
Member
I guess it depends on if you want him to be your friend in the future.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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I guess it depends on if you want him to be your friend in the future.
considering STDs can lead to sterlization (if she wants kids) or death i'd tell her
Talk to him and offer him to come clean first.
Curt Baboon
Member
Unless you are either:
1. A good friend of his girlfriend.
2. A bad friend to your guy friend.
...you should do nothing. While cheating is shitty and I understand the concern for your friend(s), this has nothing to do with you.
It's good to be back. Based Stump helped me get through to the big man
see, I made an OkC profile 4 years ago and dated the first girl I messaged for 3 years thereafter...
pretty sure I got lucky according to what I'm seeing/reading everywhere else.
now I'm nervous
Yerp. and there's some that are undetectable/not obvious without testing in guys but seriously fucks up ladies.
but they might lose their drinking buddy! /s
always crazy bacon
Banned
How did you see him at a brothel unless you were there too? Keep quiet.
What's wrong with him being at a brothel if he's single?
always crazy bacon
Banned
This is the "it won't happen to me" response we see time and time again in this topic. Just saying, I've seen it time and time again and I didn't even realise it was a thing until it was repeatable with many couples. It wasn't the bossy girlfriends that changed, it was the sweet ones. I try to understand it like this. When some women get married they think they have levelled up and thier opinion holds more weight. Anyway, if it does not happen to you and it takes 2-3 months for this behaviour to show you should be in the clear.
The problem isn't the brothel; it's being at a brothel while committed to someone else.
Absolutely tell her or talk to your friend first to give him a chance.
always crazy bacon
Banned
This is a question with many layers, probably one I don't want to discuss with you.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I'm already laying groundwork to turn into a big deal. I'm going to be such a whiny cunt about this, but I can't decide on what I'll try and get out of it...think I might try and get a Switch..
No interest in trying Bumble or CmB?
see, I made an OkC profile 4 years ago and dated the first girl I messaged for 3 years thereafter...
pretty sure I got lucky according to what I'm seeing/reading everywhere else.
now I'm nervous
Yeah you got lucky. Nothing to say it can't/wont happen again though, no need to be nervous. Dive in head first and project that confidence my dude.
Well don't keep quiet, she needs to know in case he's having unprotected sex with someone else.
I'd probably talk to him first though, find out what he was doing there. Maybe his girlfriend gave him the okay because she's not in the right place to have a sex but doesn't want him to go without.
always crazy bacon
Banned
There's LESS chance of unprotected sex with a sex worker in a reputable estabishment then there is with a lady in real life. Sex workers care about thier sexual health as much if not MORE than other women because it's thier livelihood. This probably isn't the right platform for this discussion as I'm sure media and TV/Movies are GAFs reference point.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I'll concede I don't know a lot about the sex work industry, but the risk of STI could still there and if you're in a relationship, the other person does deserve to know they could be exposed/might already have been exposed and not know.
Not all STI's have symptoms either. For me, there was a discussion before we went from protected to unprotected sex and before we did, we went for a test to make sure everything was cool.
Sexual health isn't something to fuck around with...
always crazy bacon
Banned
How does that discussion go if everything isn't cool? You've got an incurable STI you're dumped?
Megalosaro
Banned
Here is a question for you. When it comes up on a date whee they ask about your dating history, and youree a 30 year old who has never been in a relationship, how do you respond.
I usually say I was in a tough situation in high school, but I don't tally have an excuse for my 20s and 30s. So it's unconvincing at best.
I usually say I was in a tough situation in high school, but I don't tally have an excuse for my 20s and 30s. So it's unconvincing at best.
always crazy bacon
Banned
"I've never had a long term relationship, just a few dates that didn't develop into anything more" . Own it, don't hide it or think it makes you look bad. There are women that will like it that you're a virgin.
True Savior
Member
Did that happened or it's a just in case it happens in the future?
And GAFfers shouldn't be giving anyone relationship advice, because were all asocial introvert wizards.
Come on, man.
Why on earth are you so defensive about this? If you're having a discussion about this in a serious relationship, either y'all will continue to wrap it up, the other party won't care about the risks (depending on the STI), or yes, you get dumped.
People with HIV/AIDS get into relationships with those who don't have the disease all the time.
The Power Of Snap
Member
Yeah! While dating should be hassle free, it takes a lot of energy and time and that's what i hate about it.
Megalosaro
Banned
It's come up a few times
One doesn't need to be in a relationship to not be a virgin lol.
just be vague?
"It's been a bit bumpy, but here's hoping that'll change!" *toasts whatever you're drinking at the time*
honestly, asking someone about their dating history while getting to know them seems a bit distasteful. Like, what if the last person you last dated raped you. Is that something you would feel comfortable talking about on a first date/while getting to know someone?
How does this even work? How do guys let this happen? Like, if a girl I'm seeing tries to boss me into something I don't want to do, I just say no. And that's that.
Why do married guys give in and allow themselves to get bossed around more?
I don't think OKC and POF are the best ones to use to be honest. Use bumble and tinder
If you're closer to him, tell him you know and give him a chance to come clean.Do not go straight to the girl unless you're much closer to her and are willing to lose him as a friend
You can say that you're waiting for something meaningful and not afraid to be single, not willing to settle
Krauser Kat
Member
You can say its never worked out with anyone but the common denominator in all of that is you and it is a bit of a red flag. I would change the conversation to how much you have grown as a person the last few years.
True Savior
Member
In normal dates? That seems very weird. Don't go to highschool man. You're 30. High-school was more than 10 years ago. Just brush it off. "No recent long-relationships" or something like that.
That escalated quickly.
Gotdatmoney
Member
You just say nothing signifcant in the last little bit.
No point really expanding past that given its not a subject you really need to be forth coming about.
They generally don't? I mean marriage (and relationships in general) involves compromise, not one controlling the other. If a married man is getting boss around or whatever, chances are that shit was happening before they got married.
Why are all these damn misconceptions about marriage are being spewed all of a sudden? It's like the "life is over when you get married" brigade is out today or something.
I installed Coffee Meets Bagel, but apparently if you want to find matches or at least communicate with your matches, you have to pay with a limited allowance of bagels that you have to keep buying to replenish? What's up with that?!?
I've heard of Bumble but haven't tried it yet. Maybe I'll give it a shot. But what makes that better than OKC or PoF?
Crash55118
Member
Bumble is closer to tinder. Girls have to message first within 24 hours. Neat concept when it works - but the typical have nice pics and short bio for best results strategy applies just like tinder.
Keep strong mate! There is always someone, even for us
There isn't for me, but that's fine.
timetokill
Banned
After being in a relationship for so long I forgot how stressful asking a girl out can be
always crazy bacon
Banned
Just assume she will say no, then when you ask her out you have nothing to loose. Try not to get worked up overthinking it beforehand.
timetokill
Banned
Well, she mentioned wanting to go hiking since the weather was getting nicer finally, so I asked if she wanted to go hiking with me and she said yes. I'm mostly just trying to create more opportunities to get to know her at this stage.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Look at the topic title.
timetokill
Banned
That was all over text though. Maybe I'm out of touch since I haven't had to go dating got a good while much but is asking somebody out over text seen as bad like breaking up over text is?
ZackieChan
Member
No. It's totally fine to ask someone out over text.
Miles Quaritch
Member
That would be something a couple would have to discuss. I imagine if someone has HIV and the other person doesn't feel it's worth the risk continuing the relationship, then it's over.
It'd suck, but you'd have to deal with it. You can't force someone to stay with you.
Don't you get free swipes on CmB?
And Bumble is a lot like Tinder, the difference is that the other person has to initiate the conversation. That normally means less flaking, unless you say something stupid/come across as a creep in your messages.
So, the girl I went out with ( twice without specifying it was a date ) has finally come back from her holidays after 3 weeks and we had a quick catchup.
This week is my birthday and I'm going out for a joint birthday party with friends in the weekend, she's coming too. Is it a bad idea to tell her my intentions at the party? I'd prefer to do it in person ( so I can see her reaction ) if there's the right occasion but not sure the party is a good idea.
Thoughts?
This week is my birthday and I'm going out for a joint birthday party with friends in the weekend, she's coming too. Is it a bad idea to tell her my intentions at the party? I'd prefer to do it in person ( so I can see her reaction ) if there's the right occasion but not sure the party is a good idea.
Thoughts?
Miles Quaritch
Member
Why didn't you specify they were dates from the beginning?
Tell her, better than continuing to do what you're doing now.
Go_Ly_Dow
Member
A bit different (I'm 26 and my GF is 23), but when we got together we discussed our dating histories, she's had several boyfriends and up until that point I'd only dated 2 girls, had never been in a relationship, never had sex or even kissed a girl. The moment she learned these things her eyes lit up like she'd just hooked a rare fish haha. (my GF loves that she's my first).
So my advice is be honest, or just don't keep it a secret and make sure she knows early on down the line.
I've got this thing that I need to know the person a little before going on a date ¯\_(ツ
_/¯. First time we went out was with her roommate and rommate's boyfriend, 2nd time again with her roommate and a friend of mine, third time was just me and her. I guess I'm running out of time and better hurry up.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I've got this thing that I need to know the person a little before going on a date ¯\_(ツ
I guess I'm running out of time and better hurry up.
Okay, some background on why you have this thing might be good.
You do know that dates are where you get to know someone too right? And they have the added benefit of making of your intentions clear and making sure you don't waste time on someone who isn't interested in dating you.
True Savior
Member
Why would it be bad? It's a date. Not a marriage proposal.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I say go big or go home.
Send a flower arrangement, all red roses, with them spelling out...I like you and would like to get to know you better, so I was wondering, if maybe, and if you're free, you'd like to accompany me to a restaurant or cafe.
Send a flower arrangement, all red roses, with them spelling out...I like you and would like to get to know you better, so I was wondering, if maybe, and if you're free, you'd like to accompany me to a restaurant or cafe.
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