-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
artsi
Member
If she wants to do something else, ask her what she wants to doIf you don't wanna do it, I'm sure you two can come to a compromise if you two want to.
I did ask and she responded "it doesn't need to be anything special but coffee dates are awkward" so ball was in my court again.
Yeah I get it but if my suggestion is not good then please be active and try to suggest something yourself lol.
Anyway then I asked if she wants to go bowling then and that was cool.
chicko1983
Member
So I asked her if she wanted to go check out a new cocktail bar sometime, she said yes.
I haven't set a date yet aren't looking heaps available the next couple of weekends (got friends in town this weekend and a wedding next). Lucky I'll see her every day at work.
But is there a good timeframe that I should set a date for? I mean we want to drink cocktails so Friday is satdy is preferred.
I haven't set a date yet aren't looking heaps available the next couple of weekends (got friends in town this weekend and a wedding next). Lucky I'll see her every day at work.
But is there a good timeframe that I should set a date for? I mean we want to drink cocktails so Friday is satdy is preferred.
Geez, that's annoying lol. If you don't like something at least make a counteroffer woman! xD
My roommate and one of my best friends has a date with a cunt of a girl tonight. They banged once, and he fell madly in love with her. She had a BF at the time, so she cheated on him with my roommate. She strung my friend along for quite a while because her BF was studying abroad. Now, tonight, she's coming over to our place. She recently broke up with her BF. I warned my friend that she's bad news and that he's making a mistake. He responds by saying "I know I'm an idiot but I just want to bang".
Thing is, my roommate would fall in love with a rock if it touched his hand and smiled at him. He doesn't admit it, but I can tell he's very desperate. He's had plenty of dates and opportunities before, but he comes across as desperate there too and gets overinvested and way too clingy, thus scaring the girls away.
Anything more I can do to convince him? It's a downward spiral, and he's been going at it for quite a while now. I just don't want to see him get crushed by disappointement once again.
Thing is, my roommate would fall in love with a rock if it touched his hand and smiled at him. He doesn't admit it, but I can tell he's very desperate. He's had plenty of dates and opportunities before, but he comes across as desperate there too and gets overinvested and way too clingy, thus scaring the girls away.
Anything more I can do to convince him? It's a downward spiral, and he's been going at it for quite a while now. I just don't want to see him get crushed by disappointement once again.
At this point, he probably just needs to be disappointed again, though it is a little worrying that he doesn't seem to learn from his lessons... but despite all advice and anything you can say, someone won't change unless they actually want to change. You've done what you can at this point.
Gotdatmoney
Member
He needs to go in and fail. Something you gotta realize is if your friend doesn't take your advice from the jump they never are. Just let him get hurt. I know I sound like a dick but you'll just tire yourself out investing in the well being of someone who is chasing stupid.
Just let him experience failure. And then tell him point blank he is being dumb and he is going to continue down this path if he doesn't reevaluate his approach. Apart from that shrug. You can't save someone who doesnt wanna be saved.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Yeah, just be there for him for when he's inevitably disappointed. Give it some time after that happens, sit down and have an honest conversation about what you're seeing and hopefully that will encourage him to change his behaviour.
What you can't do is force someone to change, if he's not willing to change, he'll just have to keep being disappointed and keep going from one unsatisfying relationship to another.
What you can't do is force someone to change, if he's not willing to change, he'll just have to keep being disappointed and keep going from one unsatisfying relationship to another.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I've never had the question posed from a male perspective before, so I'll give you the advice I give to friends of women that are in relationships with wankers.
He knows what he's doing, you've advised him and now your job is done until the inevitable car crash. If he's really a good friend be there for the fallout and don't be a " I told you so" person. Let him learn the hard way and support him afterwards.
always crazy bacon
Banned
4x combo!
ZackieChan
Member
Elginer
Member
No bullshit, this was my first date with a long time relationship I had. It was pretty damn genius.
I've always been there and I probably always be there. I know there's not much I could do, I just didn't want to see him go through that shit yet again. But hey...
He just whatsapped me, telling me that I'll be a happy camper 'cause she cancelled the date. He also told me he scored a new date with a way cooler chick tomorrow. Crisis averted and improved. Motherfucker is learning!
I wouldn't hold that against someone, might have been pure coincidence (she happened to open the app at the time, the app opened on your conversation, just then you sent).
In general, I think you shouldn't use apps with read notifications when it comes to dating. I always use SMS - no read notifications, no "last online" info, no overthinking and paranoia
Barring legitimate reasons, you don't want to leave it more than a few days to a week after she agrees to date you. That's indecisive. Why not do a weeknight? You don't have to get really drunk
Yes, this a good idea and have done it myself (but for a record store)
hydrophilic attack
Member
just do bowling and if it goes well, continue to bar/pub or arcade if she's a geek
or if the weather is going to be good, make a quick salad and go an a picnic
coffee dates ARE the worst, be happy she doesn't want that
timetokill
Banned
names2hard4you
Member
Nice! You have infiltrated the dealer, now you need to find the supplier.She said yes. Boom!
timetokill
Banned
Simple!
chicko1983
Member
Well, as I mentioned on the previous page, we are currently working on a project which is due in a couple of weeks. I will be spending 60+Hrs each week working with her in that time.
So it's good In the way I'll see her tomorrow even, but bad in the way that we will both be stressed for the next couple of weeks.
The project submission is a day before her birthday, I already said we will go out for submission and birthday celebration on that day. Then yesterday I asked her about the bar and she said yes. So I am thinking I will ask her to the bar on that night.
She said yes. Boom!
Exactly! The waiiiiting is the hardest part
Awesome ttk. Good luck!
This thread has a love/hate relationship with me. I hate hearing the advice, mainly because the advice is directed personally, but 90% of the time it is the right advice.
timetokill
Banned
Thanks chicko! you too bud
A thread like this is good because it can be hard to think clearly when your emotions and stuff come into play. Also I usually find that just writing things out helps me think about things more logically.
Solideliquid
Member
Question for the tinder kids out here. When you get to the point that you want to bounce out of tinder and text with him/her, do you give your number?
Or is there another popular option that you guys are using if you don't want to give out the number? Like say FB messenger? But is that too revealing?
Asking for my friend, "Down-Low" (he's Chinese).
Or is there another popular option that you guys are using if you don't want to give out the number? Like say FB messenger? But is that too revealing?
Asking for my friend, "Down-Low" (he's Chinese).
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Yes. Just give them your number.
Now, the only interesting question is what to save their contact info as. On my end, I go with firstname and "C" to signify that we met on OKCupid. Can't tell you how many times I've talked to "Katie C."
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
I name them something that describes them. For example i had "mike the bumble guy covered in piercings" and "Cody the bumble guy who may or may not be a time traveller" It helps them stand out.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I want to buy Cody a beer.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
He has a delorean. How could you not want to.
artsi
Member
She had a bad day today and said that she could come to my place tomorrow for uh.. netflix and hugs.
I'm okay with this turn of events.
Gotta check out that fitness booty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
always crazy bacon
Banned
I made up names for the women I was seeing so my flatemate could follow which woman I was talking about because Jane/Mary/Sue or whatever would have been hard to follow over the weeks.
Little Leaf
Dirty Wife
Crazy Walmart
Frog Eyes
The Milf
Dirty Wife II
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'm sensing a theme here. Did you basically just chat up housewives in Walmart parking lots?
Messofanego
Banned
I put brackets around it.
always crazy bacon
Banned
No, online fishing.Who knew the "bored housewife" trope was based on fact?
Starlightmuse
Member
So, I need opinions as If I'm a dick or not.
Six months ago I broke with my ex-gf who I'd been dating for more than two years, it was a rather pacific split up. Then two months after that I began dating a college partner who is my actual gf (and I said I didn't want to be with another girl for a long long time, hah!). She's lovely and, for know, everything has been great with her.
Anyway, after my ex saw that I was dating another girl she basicaly went telling everybody that I'm an ass and that we splitted up because I wanted to date this girl (which isn't true at all, since I almost didn't even knew her at that time) and since we shared a lot of friends it seems that they have "allied" with her, resulting in me not having seen for months who I thought were some of my best friends.
I don't think I've done anything wrong tbh, I was single and yes, even I am impressed at how quickly I moved on after such a long relationship (which I think has something to do with how attracted I am to this girl, we get each other perfectly since we began to know each other), however, sometimes I can't but feel like maybe they have a bit of a point in that, after all that time, one does not go dating another girl that fast if you were really in love.
I don't know, any thoughts?
Six months ago I broke with my ex-gf who I'd been dating for more than two years, it was a rather pacific split up. Then two months after that I began dating a college partner who is my actual gf (and I said I didn't want to be with another girl for a long long time, hah!). She's lovely and, for know, everything has been great with her.
Anyway, after my ex saw that I was dating another girl she basicaly went telling everybody that I'm an ass and that we splitted up because I wanted to date this girl (which isn't true at all, since I almost didn't even knew her at that time) and since we shared a lot of friends it seems that they have "allied" with her, resulting in me not having seen for months who I thought were some of my best friends.
I don't think I've done anything wrong tbh, I was single and yes, even I am impressed at how quickly I moved on after such a long relationship (which I think has something to do with how attracted I am to this girl, we get each other perfectly since we began to know each other), however, sometimes I can't but feel like maybe they have a bit of a point in that, after all that time, one does not go dating another girl that fast if you were really in love.
I don't know, any thoughts?
She's the ass, not you. I mean okay if it was one week after, but this is two months. That's plenty of time to move on and not wallow in your own misery like she is.
Messofanego
Banned
She's a dick, and those weren't really your best friends. You did nothing wrong. Leave them to their hateful lives, while you enjoy yours.
ZackieChan
Member
Who cares what your ex thinks, does or says? Move on, playa
Count Dookkake
Member
Your old friends are trying to agree their way into her pants.
True Savior
Member
Keep doing what you are doing.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Lol who gives a fuck what she thinks, says or does? Your friends aint really your friends either. Keep doing your thing brotha. Fuck the haters.
Starlightmuse
Member
Yeah, that's what I thought. The good thing is that now I know who is really worth of being called friend. Fuck all of them, they can rot for all I care.
Thanks to you all for all your responses.
Thanks to you all for all your responses.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I've been there and I know this. Usually 99% of the time it's the woman who dates quicker and for some women in a breakup it means they "win".
In your situation and purely based on gender discrimination your friends have been taken in by the whole wronged women "aren't men pieces of shit" story ONLY and only because you found someone before her and quickly. Don't hate on your friends because of it, just understand that emotionally manipulative narrative they have been deceived by. In any case in any breakup you'll lose some friends when they pick sides, don't worry about it. Just focus on you.
I met my current wife just 4 months after my divorce and she was in a similar time scale from her divorce. We just kept it discrete from our ex spouses to avoid this type of drama. Our real friends knew the situation. After a year I no longer hid that relationship and my Ex Wife who still has not found a new partner is just so deliciously salty even though I did not say anything to her (She follows my social media). So predictable.
You did nothing wrong other than lack foresight of how she might have reacted and preempted it.
Miles Quaritch
Member
A sad state of affairs. Just ignore it my dude.
The issue is her, she couldn't move on and now that you've pretty much shut the door to ever getting back with her, she's decided to be a petty little shit and trash you because then she'll get lots of sympathy and probably hopes she'll isolate you from the social circles you share.
The issue is her, she couldn't move on and now that you've pretty much shut the door to ever getting back with her, she's decided to be a petty little shit and trash you because then she'll get lots of sympathy and probably hopes she'll isolate you from the social circles you share.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Are you following her back?
Seems awfully depressing, desperately holding onto any shred of what was rather than severing those ties and moving forward.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I don't follow her at all or even care what her relationship status is. However we have a son so I cant sever ties.
ZackieChan
Member
That would be some infinity Patriot-level nonsense. Bacon is better than that
thesoapster
Member
Is the clean look mostly dead where any of you live? I don't like the look of myself with facial hair, and there is one thumbprint-size area under my chin where I get zero hair growth. Ultimately it would take a while for stuff to fill in.
But that doesn't seem to stop a lot of guys from growing shitty piece of shit patchy beards, and they seem to be doing just fine in the dating world.
But that doesn't seem to stop a lot of guys from growing shitty piece of shit patchy beards, and they seem to be doing just fine in the dating world.
neurosisxeno
Member
I think she only wants to hug a specific part of you, with a specific part of herself. Or maybe 2 specific parts. 3 if she's cool.
That's why I stay clean shaven. I would rather look young than like someone trying to hard to grow a beard or suffering through having a really shitty one for a few weeks before it filled out.
timetokill
Banned
I'm glad beards are in because mine grows in full in about 20 minutes. :\
ZackieChan
Member
I was goatee shamed in another thread, so I'm rocking full face stubble now with trimmed neck. I prefer it. But goatee area grows in darker
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I tried growing a beard last fall, and it came in well enough, but I just didn't like it. Then I was back on military orders and had to shave it; I just kept it off afterwards. I kinda like looking 5-8 years younger than I actually am.
All that time staying sheltered as a kid and avoiding the sun really helped me out.
All that time staying sheltered as a kid and avoiding the sun really helped me out.
ZackieChan
Member
I continue to avoid the sun's rays, and age like Dorian Gray
- Status