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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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L

Leeness

Member
gaiages said:
...

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Gurl, saaaaame thoughts all day about this thread.
 
S

Spaced Harrier

Member
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I don't sleep with people I'm not in some kind of relationship with, even if it's informal. Basically, no randos. Part of it's not wanting any baby drama; another part is that I feel it's kinda harder to separate if there's been sex. She was quite satisfied, though.

I realize this is a weird line to take. I imagine we all have our lines, though.
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You do you man. Just was confused by the risk line.

I don't go in for the dating multiple people at the same time thing personally, when most here seem to. We all aproach life a bit differently.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I don't sleep with people I'm not in some kind of relationship with, even if it's informal. Basically, no randos. Part of it's not wanting any baby drama; another part is that I feel it's kinda harder to separate if there's been sex. She was quite satisfied, though.

I realize this is a weird line to take. I imagine we all have our lines, though.
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Condoms never failed me and sex isn't a contract just and enjoyable activity between consenting adults. But I know there are people that cannot separate love and sex and that's fine. Everyone has different approaches to things.
 
V

Valkerionseven

Member
Ledbetter said:
Probably have to wait until the next weekend to go out again because I'm very busy with finals and she has the exam to get into college too.
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Wait... how old is she!?

just kidding good luck to you, sounds like your having good times getting back on the horse.

Also just had a weird morning where I was more nervous to talk to my new co-woker and invite him to an event this week than talking to a woman haha.

Either way, been laying low on the dating pool lately but my friends are being a bit pushy about it lately. At first it was my friends girlfriend, then now its her boyfriend, both best friends wanting me to "Get back out there" and I don't feel up to it at the moment. Especially since its always at some club or somewhere with a million desperate dudes and like 8 ladies (not that bad but you know what I mean.)

Think I'm weirdly traumatized by my last attempt at a lady where I was the pursuer and she just ended up being kinda boring and not great (pretty though!) kinda just wanting to revert to my old self and let them talk to me... Least I know those ladies are more interesting even if they are not that great for me over all.
 
L

Llyranor

Member
Ledbetter said:
Well, after being together almost 7 years, last year my ex-gf broke up with me. After like 3 months feeling like shit, I started going to the gym (which is something I really look forward to do the days I train) and signed up to classical guitar classes at my college. I gradually started feeling better, so I set up Tinder and Bumble. At the beginning I've had a few amount of matches, but now is like a desert haha.

Anyway, yesterday I went to my first first date after the one I went with my ex-gf when I was fucking 14 years old. At the beginning of course I felt nervous, but then I started to relax and it ended up being a nice day. Probably have to wait until the next weekend to go out again because I'm very busy with finals and she has the exam to get into college too. Also waiting to go out with another girl that wants to watch a football game next weekend, but let's see what happens.

I feel kinda weird honestly haha, life is changing on all fronts, but if there is anything you have taught me, is that 22 is still pretty young. So here's my point: I've been following this thread closely but never posted anything, because most of the advice you gave to other users helped me too, so thanks for that! And also thanks to the guys that post creepy stuff, you have really made me laugh.
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You're on the good path! Keep it up!

(Btw, if things are drying up on the apps, reset your account and update your pics)


Advocatus Diaboli said:
I don't sleep with people I'm not in some kind of relationship with, even if it's informal. Basically, no randos. Part of it's not wanting any baby drama; another part is that I feel it's kinda harder to separate if there's been sex. She was quite satisfied, though.

I realize this is a weird line to take. I imagine we all have our lines, though.
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Nothing weird about that line. We all have them, indeed.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Ledbetter said:
I feel kinda weird honestly haha, life is changing on all fronts, but if there is anything you have taught me, is that 22 is still pretty young. So here's my point: I've been following this thread closely but never posted anything, because most of the advice you gave to other users helped me too, so thanks for that! And also thanks to the guys that post creepy stuff, you have really made me laugh.
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Sound like everythings working out for you. If we've helped you and it's working then that's that's the intention. Another success story in the making.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
I wonder if anyone here is watching the second season of Master Of None. Cause it's gonna chew your heart out. I'm sure everyone here will relate to the first date episode, and some here will relate to the main plotline which is...not easy.
 
L

Lulubop

Member
Messofanego said:
I wonder if anyone here is watching the second season of Master Of None. Cause it's gonna chew your heart out. I'm sure everyone here will relate to the first date episode, and some here will relate to the main plotline which is...not easy.
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Shit was amazing, that dating app episode was pretty spot on tho I've never had anything nearly as awkward as some of those dates. I had a date, do a line in the bathroom one time. Tho we were meeting up late, on a Saturday night, both drunk, we knew the deal so I was like whatever.
 
L

ldar247

Banned
Alright I just made an okcupid account using a real picture of me. Gonna leave it up for a few days and if my subhuman face isn't the problem then I should at least get some visitors on it.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
ldar247 said:
Alright I just made an okcupid account using a real picture of me. Gonna leave it up for a few days and if my subhuman face isn't the problem then I should at least get some visitors on it.
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Let's save everybody the wait for your confirmation bias. You don't have any good pictures of yourself because of your poor body image. The profile is loaded with self depreciation and has little thought put into it because it's only been created to prove us wrong.

You can PM me the link in total confidence to prove me wrong if you like.
 
L

Leeness

Member
ldar247 said:
Alright I just made an okcupid account using a real picture of me. Gonna leave it up for a few days and if my subhuman face isn't the problem then I should at least get some visitors on it.
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I mean, I know I can't say anything because it's the ultimate case of the pot calling the kettle black, but...

tumblr_mlvzd6sdPd1s6zntno1_400.gif
 
L

ldar247

Banned
always crazy bacon said:
Let's save everybody the wait for your confirmation bias. You don't have any good pictures of yourself because of your poor body image. The profile is loaded with self depreciation and has little thought put into it because it's only been created to prove us wrong.

You can PM me the link in total confidence to prove me wrong if you like.
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I used one of the best pics I had. Neutral expression, good lighting and you can see my face clearly. And this was only about getting views with my face so I didn't bother filling in the details. If you can link me a good profile, I'll copy and paste the description to mine but it shouldn't matter.
 
L

Ledbetter

Member
Valkerionseven said:
Wait... how old is she!?

just kidding good luck to you, sounds like your having good times getting back on the horse.
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She is 19, don't make me feel like an old creep!

Llyranor said:
You're on the good path! Keep it up!

(Btw, if things are drying up on the apps, reset your account and update your pics)
Click to expand...

Thanks man, actually got 2 more matches tonight, so I think the situation has not gone that critical.

always crazy bacon said:
Sound like everythings working out for you. If we've helped you and it's working then that's that's the intention. Another success story in the making.
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If any of my stories don't end up being the inspiration for the title of the OT7, then I'll consider it a success.

Messofanego said:
I wonder if anyone here is watching the second season of Master Of None. Cause it's gonna chew your heart out. I'm sure everyone here will relate to the first date episode, and some here will relate to the main plotline which is...not easy.
Click to expand...

Actually, I used the line Dev uses with all the girls (the Whole Foods one, just replaced it with another store because we don't have WF) with one girl just to see what would happen, and it worked! But yeah, the story with Francesca is just too emotionally powerful.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
We had the exes conversation. It was kind of a mood killer, but something that had to be done now we are passed that.

Didn't bring her in tonight.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
Talked about our histories. Came up during dinner.

I'm not an insecure man. Still, it's not a fun topic.

We kissed a little. Then said good bye. I'm meeting up with her on Thursday and then Friday.
 
T

timetokill

Banned
Megalosaro said:
Talked about our histories. Came up during dinner.

I'm not an insecure man. Still, it's not a fun topic.

We kissed a little. Then said good bye. I'm meeting up with her on Thursday and then Friday.
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Ah, okay. Yeah, I'm sort of dreading mentioning I'm divorced to this new girl. She did mention she was engaged not long ago though so I think she'll be understanding.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
ldar247 said:
I used one of the best pics I had. Neutral expression, good lighting and you can see my face clearly. And this was only about getting views with my face so I didn't bother filling in the details. If you can link me a good profile, I'll copy and paste the description to mine but it shouldn't matter.
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some other persons profile isn't you. Defeats the object of what you are trying to prove and that we here are telling you to play up your strengths. Otherwise fuck it, tell them you're really rich and "prove" the money matters over looks.
 
L

ldar247

Banned
always crazy bacon said:
some other persons profile isn't you. Defeats the object of what you are trying to prove and that we here are telling you to play up your strengths. Otherwise fuck it, tell them you're really rich and "prove" the money matters over looks.
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I'm trying to prove that if you're sufficiently ugly you never even had a chance. I'm betting my profile doesn't even get many visits let alone messages or responses. It won't even get to the point where women read the descriptions. Hence why they don't matter for this.
 
S

Salamando

Member
ldar247 said:
I'm trying to prove that if you're sufficiently ugly you never even had a chance. I'm betting my profile doesn't even get many visits let alone messages or responses. It won't even get to the point where women read the descriptions. Hence why they don't matter for this.
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You will get exactly the results you expect, for a few reasons.

- If you're not filling in a profile at all, you likely didn't answer enough of the match questions, if any at all. You'll be hidden from searches for that alone.
- One pic, no profile = no one will match you on quickmatch. They won't even know if you're real.
- OKC is a women's market, and you're not advertising to them by sending messages. Women rarely need to browse profiles.
- Your mood here is so toxic that your pic has to have some of that same subtle toxicity. Has to.
- Even if you did get visitors, you'll write them off as "not actually interested in you".

With online dating, you get out what you put in, and you're not putting anything into it.
 
A

AcridMeat

Banned
If you all haven't watched Man Seeking Woman I highly recommend it. It's incredibly relatable and goes through all aspects of dating. So damn funny too.

Trying to bring light to this thread because holy fuck these last few pages.

Also resubbed because I'm rooting for Advocatus and Mega
 
S

Scotch

Member
ldar247 said:
14641833539500.png
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The only lessons to take away from this example are how important lighting, camera angle and hairstyle are when taking a picture. If the guy on the right got a haircut, shaved properly, positioned the camera a bit higher and to the side so his jawline is visible, and had some warmer lighting he would look a lot better. Yeah, he's below average looking but that picture isn't doing him any favors.

Plus, you see guys like that with girlfriends all the time. I've studied Computer Science so I've seen some ugly motherfucking nerds in my time, and a lot of them had girlfriends, even pretty ones.

I'm betting Miles will tell Idar247 something similar about his profile pic.
 
S

slaifer

Neo Member
Does anyone remember the girl I was interested into that out of nowhere mentions she has a "boyfriend not boyfriend" to which I reply "nah I don't want a friendship"?

Well, for some reason now she's more interested in hanging out with me and my group of friends also because we live in the same building we also use the same gym. In the past I've never seen her training at the time I usually train, now all of a sudden I start seeing her in the gym too. On saturday I usually train in the morning and now wants to train with me and my friends on saturdays too. WTF.

Friday messages me asking what time I was gonna train on saturday. My friend gets wasted on friday and doesn't make it to the gym, so it's just me and her for a while until another friend of mine comes later. She follows my type of training, we start squatting and she asks me to spot her while she was wearing her see through yoga pants. WTF. She knows what she's doing:

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
always crazy bacon said:
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/first-dates

This was enough for me. Not easy on a weekly basis most of the time.
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It's funny going on dates and then sometimes mentioning this show, everyone watches it here. It's basically a show about what not to do on dates for me. It's cool that recently they had a gay Muslim on the show. The senior citizen dates are tough cause nearly all of them involve talking about their long dead ex-partners.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
So the main takeaway of the past day or two is that ugliness can be worked with, no matter how deformed or goblin-esque, but a toxic attitude is pure poison to dating. Correct?
 
M

Milly Osworth

Member
Moose Biscuits said:
So the main takeaway of the past day or two is that ugliness can be worked with, no matter how deformed or goblin-esque, but a toxic attitude is pure poison to dating. Correct?
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As long as you can accept that with very bad looks you -usually- need to find someone slightly similar. It's the harsh reality, but not too bad in the end I guess.
 
S

Spaced Harrier

Member
Milly Osworth said:
As long as you can accept that with very bad looks you -usually- need to find someone slightly similar. It's the harsh reality, but not too bad in the end I guess.
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Honestly I don't even think that's that necessarily true.
I'm an average looking guy and I'm not in shape so that's not helping and then women I'm with are much better looking than me. (And not just with makeup on!)

A shitty pity party attitude is poison.
Wash your ass, get a haircut, buy some clothes, And be yourself, but a positive version of yourself if your more negative normally.
 
P

Peltz

Member
Advocatus Diaboli said:
I don't sleep with people I'm not in some kind of relationship with, even if it's informal. Basically, no randos. Part of it's not wanting any baby drama; another part is that I feel it's kinda harder to separate if there's been sex. She was quite satisfied, though.

I realize this is a weird line to take. I imagine we all have our lines, though.
Click to expand...

So if an extremely hot model-type woman was just in town for one night and wanted to rock your world, you'd say no? I generally don't have sex with random girls, but there are exceptions.
 
A

AdventureRacing

Member
Peltz said:
So if an extremely hot model-type woman was just in town for one night and wanted to rock your world, you'd say no? I generally don't have sex with random girls, but there are exceptions.
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That's how I've always been. I just don't find random sex appealing and most of the time it's not a girls looks that make me attracted to them. It's usually only after I get to know them a bit that I actually become interested in them that way.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
ldar247 said:
Except I'm already doing all that. None of it will fix my recessed bones of course, only implants, filler and osteotomies can do that and I've been researching and saving up for those as well. All I (correctly) stated in my previous post was that confidence will not make up for being ugly. Recognizing that doesn't preclude someone from trying minimize their ugliness. But if I'm still sub 5 after doing all that, then it's 100% over and no amount of confidence in the world is going to change that.
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I don't understand what you want. You want to be told that ugly is ugly and nothing will help you ever? I don't know about the rest of the thread but me personally, I'm not gonna empathize with you and throw you a pity party. If you don't want to work with what you have then don't.

You're still wrong no matter how you wanna spin it. Confidence makes a difference. Putting in work to improve other aspects of your life makes a difference. Ugly people find love too. If you want to believe otherwise that really is not our issue. Give up. Shrug. Other people though don't need to follow your path of self defeat.

Yeah 6'2" with lots of money and a stunning face will have an easier time dating. And?
 
P

Prime crotch

Banned
So I tried out being more forth-coming about dating and it's been working, but when it rains it pours, maybe it's spring or summertime, the moment I stopped caring and second guessing myself was when I managed to get quite a few dates with different people. I don't know if I'll follow up on most, but it's been nice to just meet some new people.
What's been getting to me is all I've been talking to all remind me of my ex, sooo that's a self red flag, meaning it's more on me than on them.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Prime crotch said:
So I tried out being more forth-coming about dating and it's been working, but when it rains it pours, maybe it's spring or summertime, the moment I stopped caring and second guessing myself was when I managed to get quite a few dates with different people. I don't know if I'll follow up on most, but it's been nice to just meet some new people.
What's been getting to me is all I've been talking to all remind me of my ex, sooo that's a self red flag, meaning it's more on me than on them.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the update, gad to hear you're making progress and calling a date a date is showing results. A lesson for many, in action.

As for thinking about your EX. All that's likey to be happening is that you've edited out in your mind the problems you and her had. Now your back at the beginning it's reminding you when that relationship with your ex was good. It's just nostalgia and as long as you recognize it as that, you can put that red flag down.
 
C

cabot

Member
timetokill said:
Ah, okay. Yeah, I'm sort of dreading mentioning I'm divorced to this new girl. She did mention she was engaged not long ago though so I think she'll be understanding.
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just remember ttk, you've got a debut mafia win as scum to boast. She'll fall for you in no time.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
Thanks for the answers guys. I'm not too fussed about my looks, or at least I'd never consider going to the lengths that other guy is considering to improve them; there have been way uglier men than I who have been successful in dating, I'm aware.
Mine is more of an attitude problem, always has been.

Still, every so often I get tempted. I had tinder installed briefly, swiped a few times but I think I got nervous and cowarded out hard.

I'll try again soon though; I made a promise to myself to try and get laid this year, it's already almost June and I'd rather not have to pay for it.
 
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