Yea, for real.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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Yea, for real.
Nah, I definitely know what you're coming from, and women that expect things to get paid for are kind of... not cool. I have had men that are really incessant about paying though, so I just kind of give up with those lol. Sometimes men have traditional standards in dating just like women, even if it hurts them (or specifically, their wallet lol)
Is that sarcasm? Like do you seriously not understand what's bad about that? Or are you just talking about the absurdity of trying to call the cops on an internet person? If it's the first, it says a lot about you, the second... I guess understandable, but Detective GAF is out there somewhere...
Regardless the situation is over.
It's not, chill. I guess I misread the situation.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Still up. We're going to pick up the Brazilian girl I gave my keys to, maybe, then head to an after party.
I hope she's in my apartment.
My gay friend invited me to Pride tonight and I'm super happy to call him my brother.
Megalosaro
Banned
So far, we have been going back and forth. I treat her. She treats me. I dunno, it's a balancing act. I want to treat her special, but I also don't want to rob her independance.
This is going to sound like a bitch statement, but I'm moving as fast as I feel comfortable. It almost super ramped on tuesday, but we were both pretty riled up.
She just sent me a text message asking if I was planning on moving to LA now that our OC office is closed. I think she's pretty spooked about that.
Pretty worried about that.
timetokill
Banned
I pretty much always pay for first dates if I asked the girl out. After that I will let her pay if she offers. If she never offers I can't let the relationship go on or I'd go broke lol
It's been a long day in this thread lol, my apologies.
Living the Dream
Member
So I want to interject here.
Monday, they just doubled my dosage of testosterone which I haven't had this much in my body in many years. So partly I was extremely upset and partly raging out in anger. Unfortunately both incidence [ghosting & double dosage] occurred at the same time which created an unhealthy and irrational form of thinking.
Sounds to me like your dating my Ex wife, so much matches up in her behaviour.Yes, it was insensitive. Not taking the picture but making it the main Facebook picture. When you're in a relationship you learn to avoid things like this that are innocent if you are single but can be misconstrued when you are in a relationship.
That should be the end of the advice but oh boy, you've uncovered the crazy
She's dwelling on it and escalating it in her mind. This path will lead her to look for things that aren't there and her confirmation bias will FIND things that aren't there.
Everyone takes their phone to the bathroom.
I guarantee it's not the last boyfriend, think back when did she first mention this? How many times? Did she play the victim and use it to get attention from you?
You can't, this is going to get much worse.
Bail out, respect yourself and avoid this drama. If you've got one girlfriend, you can get another, who cares if you've met her parents? It's not a rite of passage anymore.
Not for you as you say it's your first relationship. But for her at 30+ it's a massive red flag.
She snooped his phone and looked at his messages. This overly detailed explanation from her is just cover for her being a snooper.
That dude did the smart thing and bailed.
Bruh, once you start rationalizing her behavior and blaming yourself you are starting down that path where you validate her insecurities. She'll be constantly looking on your phone, questioning women you talk to, talk about or even look at
You made a small mistake that uncovered a big flaw in her. I can assume perhaps there were things she said when you started dating that the more experienced person in relationships would have seen as red flags you might be oblivious to because your blinded by the fact that she's your first girlfriend and you think you've finally made it.
Thanks for the input, guys. I sure have a lot to think about.
timetokill
Banned
If you can't trust a significant other, or they can't trust you, it's over IMO.
You need to respect yourself enough to say that you don't deserve that kind of treatment.
Trust is the bedrock of a relationship, once that foundation is cracked whatever is built on top of it crumbles eventually. house usher man.
I trust and respect people I date, and if that gets betrayed, it's just over. On the other hand I'm not a jealous type of persons so you would have to do something clearly untrustworthy, not just take a photo with somebody at a party.
Hey, so I've been dating a girl for a month now. I really like her, but she's different than what I'm used to and it's hard for me to adjust. We started off texting/messaging each other a lot, but as we started seeing more of each other in person her desire to talk to me outside of those times dropped off really quickly. I don't think there's anything wrong with this but I find myself looking for more attention than maybe she's interested in giving during her personal time. Any advice for dealing with this? I try my best not to text her too much when she's off doing her own thing, busy with work and family, but usually she won't interact with me via technology unless I initiate.
I don't have a great sense of things like this - we've gone days at a time without talking and been just fine hanging out afterward, but being someone who likes to talk a lot with people they like, the silence kinda sucks.
I don't have a great sense of things like this - we've gone days at a time without talking and been just fine hanging out afterward, but being someone who likes to talk a lot with people they like, the silence kinda sucks.
Starlightmuse
Member
I've always split the bill with any girl that I've dated, not only because I'm a student therefore I'm poor as fuck, but also I'd feel like I'm trying to, like, "seduce her with money"? (I'm clueless about how to express what I mean in english), idk, like I need to show how much money I'm going to spend in her in order to her to like me, if that makes any sense.
Anyway, I have no problem paying if she's low on money in that time, or if it's an special occasion and I feel like it, but it's always been a given with any girl that I dated that the bill is split in half.
I'd put my money that she has nothing to prove that he cheated on her, and she just used it to make you feel pity for her, there's a lot of people who use this kind of strategies to make people like them.
Also, she wasn't looking at the time in his phone, man, she was clearly spying his phone.
timetokill
Banned
"Seduce her with money" is close enough, I get what you mean by it. I never do it for that reason because I'm swimming in debt, but I could see how it comes across that way. It'd be hilarious if a girl I dated thought I was loaded because of it, lol. Big shock coming her way.
I just feel like, on the first date, if I've done the asking, it's my responsibility to take care of that stuff. After that we're in it together and paying half is ideal.
Oh I'll also buy the groceries if a girl I'm dating is gonna cook food for me. I figure it's only fair.
Starlightmuse
Member
If someone is going to cook for you you absolutely have to bring something, be it the groceries, drinks, wine, whatever. It's like the first commandment of a guest. You know the deal, you'll come to great things in life.
okay, so
see this post, male-GAF?
This is why women don't reject men directly, or even just try to not say anything, because there are multiple dudes like this one right here is going to go stalk someone for not giving him 'closure' over not going on a date anymore
nobody is entitled to a reason why someone does not want to go out with them anymore. know what the problem is? Fucking you. Move the fuck on and leave the woman alone. Don't force women to talk to you, don't force women to write essays on why they don't want to date you, cut the shit out or you're on the fast track to a restraining order and jail time. Stop being a god damn creep.
see this post, male-GAF?
This is why women don't reject men directly, or even just try to not say anything, because there are multiple dudes like this one right here is going to go stalk someone for not giving him 'closure' over not going on a date anymore
nobody is entitled to a reason why someone does not want to go out with them anymore. know what the problem is? Fucking you. Move the fuck on and leave the woman alone. Don't force women to talk to you, don't force women to write essays on why they don't want to date you, cut the shit out or you're on the fast track to a restraining order and jail time. Stop being a god damn creep.
timetokill
Banned
It's like, oh a girl you were dating for a while ghosted you? How sad.
People have been ghosted much, much worse. Sometimes the only closure you can get is the kind you have to give yourself. I'm saying this from experience.
People have been ghosted much, much worse. Sometimes the only closure you can get is the kind you have to give yourself. I'm saying this from experience.
Phantom Liber
Neo Member
So, earlier today I actually hit it off well with a lady a few years younger than I who, I admit, came my way via an online dating app. In terms of cuisine, art we share interests, seem to have a shared appreciation of humor and got into spirited discussion about photography, family and eventually meeting up plans for next Sunday.
Besides that, she wants to continue our conversation and getting to know each other tomorrow since she had fun today, after I basically said for the rendezvous that given work schedule and other circumstance (my mother's cancer) I'm more interested in getting to know each other, have some laughs and have a fun afternoon out instead of rushing anything. So, basically, being a complete novice at this, am I doing things right or have I screwed up somewhere?
I thank thee Gaf for the advice and pray only the trolls not dredge the waters too high.
Besides that, she wants to continue our conversation and getting to know each other tomorrow since she had fun today, after I basically said for the rendezvous that given work schedule and other circumstance (my mother's cancer) I'm more interested in getting to know each other, have some laughs and have a fun afternoon out instead of rushing anything. So, basically, being a complete novice at this, am I doing things right or have I screwed up somewhere?
I thank thee Gaf for the advice and pray only the trolls not dredge the waters too high.
Messofanego
Banned
Sometimes you've got to stop initiating and see what the time away does, if she initiates or not. Does she eventually ask how you're doing or is curious what you're up to. If you're always initiating, it can seem one sided. Often for me, that's been a tell tale sign that outside of personal emergencies or holidays, they're just not that into you and it's about to finish. It might seem like a test but it's one of the only ways of finding out how she thinks about you (or doesn't). Or maybe just call her and ask about it if she's up to that, maybe her text game is crap.
jimmypython
Member
I would say self closure most of the time. Not sure which one is worse, applying for jobs or dating
She has told me her text game is crap, and that
she doesn't intentionally ignore me or not reply. She has also never been in a relationship and might not be aware of what those expectations are. We normally see each other several times a week and she's always down for it. Once we even missed a date because I was waiting for her to text me, and she said she was waiting for me to text her. Lol. So I think things are generally fine, it's more about learning to manage myself and my desire to communicate.
Megalosaro
Banned
Drunk rant.
Eventually I'll get ghosted. I know why it will happen. I'll understand.
But man am I enjoying the time I have with her. I'd love for this to go somewhere... I like her a lot and see potential. But I can sense her pushing away.
It's been a while sense I've felt this way. And it's going to be blown. I can sense her pushing away.
This fell into my lap. I wasn't expecting it. I don't want to fuck this up.
Eventually I'll get ghosted. I know why it will happen. I'll understand.
But man am I enjoying the time I have with her. I'd love for this to go somewhere... I like her a lot and see potential. But I can sense her pushing away.
It's been a while sense I've felt this way. And it's going to be blown. I can sense her pushing away.
This fell into my lap. I wasn't expecting it. I don't want to fuck this up.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Stop fucking drinking because you become incredibly pessimistic.
I wont say any more because you are drunk now.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Maybe someone can back me up on this, because I'm certainly not someone who should give advice on dating, but why do you think you'll get ghosted and why do you think she's pushing you away? Have you asked if there's a reason, or are the signs too subtle to bring it up without seeming obsessive?
Oh whoops, I'm relatively new to these threads lol. Let us know how you feel when you're sobered up dude
Messofanego
Banned
Instead of texting, can you at least call her? Like when you feel like texting, just have a phone call instead?
Miles Quaritch
Member
I don't doubt that, but I think it exposed some issues the poster has. No-one goes to the place he went unless they believe in certain roles and have certain expectations about their 'investment'.
I think you need to take some time and think about the shit you said. That's not a healthy place to go, regardless of if you're on testosterone injections.
You were literally one step away from the shit you see on PUA and other garbage sites.
I'm a nice guy. I was so nice to her, I paid for everything, how could she just disappear after all I did, after all the money I spent...she owes me an explanation for why she used me...
Just throwing this out there, not asking a date to pay their share is a sign you lack confidence. You're worried that if you do, they'll get upset, won't agree to a second date and you'll be back to swiping and hitting the pubs/clubs. No, establish boundaries early and stick to them...if someone gets pissed you wouldn't pay for their food, is that someone you want to carry on seeing?
Subpar Scrub
Banned
I needed this lol. I often fear the potential awkwardness if a girl I'm with doesn't grab her purse when I'm grabbing my wallet to pay at a restaurant. It's only happened twice to me though.
I spoke to some good friends last night at a party about how I'm going to start dating again and they seemed happy about it, just need to start putting myself out there more I guess. I'll be floating around this thread but tomorrow morning I'm flying out to Japan for 2 weeks, so there probably won't be much to ask about or report on until I get back.
always crazy bacon
Banned
In his case it's arrogance. Earns 125K a year. he's either a tightarse or trying to buy his way into their affections. Newsfash, women know when they are trying to be brought. Breaking News: Throwing money around attracts the wrong sort of person.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1372437
I think this might be my first time writing in one of these threads, but is there any general advice with dating online? Ive never been successful at it and I'm curious what works for you guys and what doesn't? I'd like to add online dates to my stream of meeting and dating new people, but it's something I haven't been able to to find success in.
Yeah, Grizznkev, sounds like she's not big into texting. Try calling her. She could also just be a big pragmatist and only texts/calls when she wants to hang out. I'm like that. Having lengthy conversations through text or calling is too much of a distraction for me.
Yeah, Grizznkev, sounds like she's not big into texting. Try calling her. She could also just be a big pragmatist and only texts/calls when she wants to hang out. I'm like that. Having lengthy conversations through text or calling is too much of a distraction for me.
Oh shit why didn't I make that connection before, I even wanted to make a username joke in that thread over it
But the person that originally asked the question is Oblivion, and his (aggressive) answer is that he prefers splitting the cost, so I don't think he's throwing money around >.>
Gotdatmoney
Member
Normally if you say "how do you wanna do the bills, it gets the point across". You are better off directly addressing the situation and normally the other person is fine with splitting.
I have no issue paying for the first because I never let it be an expensive place. But I have never had to actually pay for the whole thing so that's a plus lol.
Messofanego
Banned
Damn, so it really was about the "principle" like another regular anti-ghosting poster here is lol.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Yeah you're right haha, cheers
Dayum at that income tho, do you know how much fucking spaghetti I could buy with that?
Megalosaro
Banned
She's meeting me at my apartment and we are going to go to dinner. A cute place called The Attic in Long Beach.
Megalosaro
Banned
Nope, I do. You guys have been giving me tons of good advice.
Trolled my roommate today. This is a jist of it.
Me: heads up we're meeting up at our place. Dunno if anything will happen, but you never know.
Him: cool, thx. Make sure you play music.
Me: ok. Btw, can I borrow your bed?
I didn't get a response. That's what he gets though. 24 hour warning my ass.
Trolled my roommate today. This is a jist of it.
Me: heads up we're meeting up at our place. Dunno if anything will happen, but you never know.
Him: cool, thx. Make sure you play music.
Me: ok. Btw, can I borrow your bed?
I didn't get a response. That's what he gets though. 24 hour warning my ass.
Gotdatmoney
Member
The most unbro guy ever
LucidMomentum
Member
You don't always need a bed, just saying. If you two are down it'll work out one way or another.
With that being said don't stress, have fun. Dating is supposed to be fun, people forget that sometimes.
I appreciate your advice, but guys my height are in most cases filtered out, and in the rest interest dwindles after the height becomes known (in Tinder for example). You can read about it everywhere online; and I think am better off without setting myself for failure with those apps.
I guess I'll just continue trying to meet up with people in hopes something happens.
Thanks anyway.
Megalosaro
Banned
Oh, I have a bed. I just wanted to twist the dagger for him being a pain in the ass.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I go away for one weekend and what the fuck happens. Wow. It was some red pill shit up in here.
But congrats, Mega! You're going to be the 2.0 version of that UK-based dude who met his girlfriend on the bus or something. Your story is magical and adorable.
But congrats, Mega! You're going to be the 2.0 version of that UK-based dude who met his girlfriend on the bus or something. Your story is magical and adorable.
Eh... I pay sometimes, but I let my date pay sometimes. Both people contribute, but usually not on the same bill. I don't think anything is wrong with that.
lawl
You keep saying filtered out as if that's an actual search option on these apps lol
But your huge complex over your height is probably more damaging than being short itself... then again, you seem to have everything figured out, I guess
always crazy bacon
Banned
He certainly knows what setting himself up for failure is.
electricshake
Member
Plenty of women don't care about height, you just have to own it. Having confidence goes so far. But a self-defeating attitude will absolutely hinder you.
I know a guy who is 5 foot and has never struggled with women. He doesn't care that he's short, he works with what he's got (which is great banter and personality).
I know a guy who is 5 foot and has never struggled with women. He doesn't care that he's short, he works with what he's got (which is great banter and personality).
Miles Quaritch
Member
.
If the way you act here is any indication, you're your own worst enemy. You're already walking around with a huge chip on your shoulder about your height and it's very likely affecting your interactions with others.
Have some confidence in what you have to offer besides your height. Not everyone is interested in 6ft guys with full heads of hair, if they were do you think Zackie would ever get laid?
Now what you want do to is sign up to a dating site and see how it goes for a few weeks. Pick one, let's say OKC...take some cool pics, write a witty profile and start sending out messages. Be proactive, none of this hoping for the best bullshit. That stops here.
Miles Quaritch
Member
What's your point here?
I've seen guys who aren't traditionally attractive with women who you'd think would never give them the time of day. To dismiss confidence in attracting someone is just ridiculous.
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