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[artsi]

Tomorrow's date (the other of those two friends I matched with) has said two times that I look "fucking hot" and apparently we're getting drinks, then going to her place.

I think I know where this is going.

But... I wasn't doing hookups anymore.

Spoiler

I wonder if her friend would like to come and watch Netflix too.

 

[LucidMomentum]

Tomorrow's date (the other of those two friends I matched with) has said two times that I look "fucking hot" and apparently we're getting drinks, then going to her place.

I think I know where this is going.

But... I wasn't doing hookups anymore.

Spoiler

I wonder if her friend would like to come and watch Netflix too.

See y'all, I'm gonna keep it straight with you.

If you're attractive things get a bit easier.
But there are more ways than that to make an impression.

 

[Ray Wonder]

If you're attractive things get a bit easier.

I can personally attest to this because before I lost weight it was way harder.

 

[timetokill]

Yeah you know, just because someone is hot doesn't mean they don't suck ass. Think with your head and I don't mean the one between your legs.

This girl been bad news from the jump. All you have done since mentioning her is bitch and bitch about how she is this and that.

Just let go man, this aint the foundation of a good relationship. You know that. Focus your efforts elsewhere.

Haha, I should probably have mentioned all the stuff we have in common. And I thought my bitching was mostly about myself fucking things up XD
I hear where you're coming from though. I've been focusing elsewhere since Friday.

Kinda hoping you didn't actually say this (or anything like it) to her, it's a bit condescending despite good intentions

I didn't I did say it was because she was cooking for me though.

 

[Peltz]

I just want to point out that these 2 things are not different. If your parents are not going to get along with someone you are dating (as in they are the source of the conflict) and that is reason for enough for you to call it quits with someone or search for someone whom you know they will like how is that not approval seeking?

There is nothing wrong if family is important enough to you that this matters. However what you wrote here isn't some adult way of making it seem like this isn't approval searching. It is. You haven't even introduced her to your family yet to see if she is causing conflict and you have already started thinking of how not to hurt anybody.

Those aren't the actions of someone who isn't seeking approval.

I guess you're right. I guess it's more appropriate to say that my happiness isn't contingent on their approval, but their approval is a big deal to me.

What are these criteria that she doesn't meet? Religion? Skin color? Profession?

All three. I think she has a cool profession and I really REALLY don't care about her religion or skin color. She's beautiful exactly as she is. But the prior generation doesn't see beauty that way, unfortunately.

Her job is not the highest earning or most prestigious line of work (she's a senior editor of a prominent fashion magazine), but it's something she's passionate about that I respect. My parents, unfortunately, are snobs who think I should be dating a doctor or lawyer or something. And on that issue, I don't know... sometimes I feel like they're right, sometimes I don't. The most important thing is, she and I communicate well. She's literally aware of everything I've shared here in this thread and we've talked about it several times very openly.

And she is so good about that. She's very wise and doesn't want to put too much pressure on me and is very understanding about the situation. The fact that we communicate on that level and so openly is why I'm with her in the first place... but again, not exclusively.

 

[Llyranor]

I guess you're right. I guess it's more appropriate to say that my happiness isn't contingent on their approval, but their approval is a big deal to me.



All three. I think she has a cool profession and don't care about her religion or skin color. She's beautiful exactly as she is. But the prior generation doesn't see beauty that way, unfortunately.

I know exactly how you feel. This hits very close to home.

I would want my parents' approval in an ideal world. However, I refuse to let my parents' closemindedness dictate who I decide to have a relationship with, especially for petty reasons that have nothing to do with her morals or values. They don't get to be in the way of my happiness for reasons of ethnicity or skin color. If they refuse to met her or eventually attend our wedding, that is entirely on them, and I am not going to give in to that and be unfair to someone who makes me happy and treats me right.

"Sorry, babe, I love you, but my parents are prejudiced against you because of your skin color so this won't work". I would be immensely resentful of my parents if I let them break up such a relationship.

I understand it is very difficult to come to terms with your parents' prejudices. They raised you and love you and you owe so much to them. BUT, that doesn't give them free reign to control you and dictate your happiness. Easier said than done, I know, the internal struggle can be excruciating. However, that is on them to own up to their prejudices, not on you to give way to them.

 

[Leeness]

I can personally attest to this because before I lost weight it was way harder.

Weight didn't fix anything for me

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Weight didn't fix anything for me

Looks can't solve all issues. It can't hurt ya though which is the main point.

 

[wowzors]

Weight didn't fix anything for me

There are a lot of complex issues when it comes to self image, weight usually plays at least a small role. People seem to have the misconception that once you lose weight your mental state loses the self image you had.

In reality that often doesn't happen, it can help to change your view of yourself but it isn't a fix.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I think I found the one. Buckle up, mother fuckers

Spoiler

Don't get too excited, just chatting and will meet up in a couple days. If she looks like her photos, I may be in love. Don't laugh at me Vern.

That Master of None episode was on point. Also I need to move to Italy to meet a girl like Francesca.

Edit: goddamn, top of page?

It so was. Especially the "are you using the app right now? "oh, yeah... what do you think of this guy?" "uh... that's kinda rude oh fuck it let me see."

Francesca is so bae. I need to find someone like her.

 

[Plissken]

Hey Dating Age, long time lurker, first time poster. I think I already know the answer to this, but I want to ask here anyway. Here goes:

So, about a month ago I met a woman through eHarmony. Went on a coffee date, ended up talking for a couple hours until the coffee shop closed, and things were going so well we decided to head to dinner. Spent another couple hours there, talking about personal history, medical history, common interests, the whole nine yards. Eventually had to call it a night, as I had a surgery scheduled for the next day, but we then ended up chatting at her car for another 30 minutes. Needless to say, things seemed to go really well; I quite like her, I think she liked me, and we agreed to do it again after I had recovered from surgery.

Over the next 3 weeks, we kept in touch via text while I recovered, I learned more about her family, pets, home, etc. We had another date scheduled, but due to some of her own medical issues, she had to back out, but she suggested we reschedule for the next week. We keep communicating, things seem fine, but then she suddenly says that she doesn't want to date for the time being. She doesn't think she can handle both her newfound medical issues, and dating, and wished me well in my dating adventures.

Now, I totally understand not wanting to have to juggle medical problems and dating new people. Said as much, told her if she wants to go out after she has a handle on things, to drop me a line. That was the last communication we've had, and I've been on a few dates since, but haven't clicked with anyone the same way.

My question is, should I keep in touch and just not bring up going out until she does? Or was that just a nice way for her to let me know she's not interested?

TL;DR - Met a woman, thought we hit it off, but now she has decided to stop dating altogether because of medical issues. I very much like her, so should I keep in touch, or just move on to the next one?

 

[Leeness]

Looks can't solve all issues. It can't hurt ya though which is the main point.

There are a lot of complex issues when it comes to self image, weight usually plays at least a small role. People seem to have the misconception that once you lose weight your mental state loses the self image you had.

In reality that often doesn't happen, it can help to change your view of yourself but it isn't a fix.

Yep... I lost weight but really stayed the same.

Spoiler

I could stand to lose 15-20 more

 

[gaiages]

There are a lot of complex issues when it comes to self image, weight usually plays at least a small role. People seem to have the misconception that once you lose weight your mental state loses the self image you had.

In reality that often doesn't happen, it can help to change your view of yourself but it isn't a fix.

Yerp, body dysmorphia (sp?) is a real thing and super hard to overcome. Even harder if you have any kind of mental illness like depression.

'Love the body you're in' is an easy thing to say, but a hard thing to do for many people. Even if they work hard and obtain the body of an Adonis, it won't mean much if you still think you look like a tub of lard.

Hey Dating Age, long time lurker, first time poster. I think I already know the answer to this, but I want to ask here anyway. Here goes:

So, about a month ago I met a woman through eHarmony. Went on a coffee date, ended up talking for a couple hours until the coffee shop closed, and things were going so well we decided to head to dinner. Spent another couple hours there, talking about personal history, medical history, common interests, the whole nine yards. Eventually had to call it a night, as I had a surgery scheduled for the next day, but we then ended up chatting at her car for another 30 minutes. Needless to say, things seemed to go really well; I quite like her, I think she liked me, and we agreed to do it again after I had recovered from surgery.

Over the next 3 weeks, we kept in touch via text while I recovered, I learned more about her family, pets, home, etc. We had another date scheduled, but due to some of her own medical issues, she had to back out, but she suggested we reschedule for the next week. We keep communicating, things seem fine, but then she suddenly says that she doesn't want to date for the time being. She doesn't think she can handle both her newfound medical issues, and dating, and wished me well in my dating adventures.

Now, I totally understand not wanting to have to juggle medical problems and dating new people. Said as much, told her if she wants to go out after she has a handle on things, to drop me a line. That was the last communication we've had, and I've been on a few dates since, but haven't clicked with anyone the same way.

My question is, should I keep in touch and just not bring up going out until she does? Or was that just a nice way for her to let me know she's not interested?

TL;DR - Met a woman, thought we hit it off, but now she has decided to stop dating altogether because of medical issues. I very much like her, so should I keep in touch, or just move on to the next one?

I mean you can tell her you like her and don't mind working through the medical issues together or just keeping in touch, but I wouldn't expect much and also look into other dates.

 

[FyreWulff]

losing weight (when i had it off) didn't seem to increase my chances persay but made me feel better which made me more likely to reach out to people on dating sites.

 

[Krauser Kat]

Well it finally happened, I matched with a girl and her BFF.
I booked one of them for wednesday. Glad I noticed their group photos in instagram before arranging dates with both, lol.

But on the other hand, why not... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I was talking with a girl on bumble awhile back and she said she couldn't show my picture to her friend because i matched with both of them but only responded to her...

 

[Messofanego]

I think I found the one. Buckle up, mother fuckers

Spoiler

Don't get too excited, just chatting and will meet up in a couple days. If she looks like her photos, I may be in love. Don't laugh at me Vern.

That Master of None episode was on point. Also I need to move to Italy to meet a girl like Francesca.

Edit: goddamn, top of page?

It so was. Especially the "are you using the app right now? "oh, yeah... what do you think of this guy?" "uh... that's kinda rude oh fuck it let me see."

Francesca is so bae. I need to find someone like her.

Nah, man. If some dude was sharing a story about a Francesca-like situation here, we'd all tell him to bail on someone who's about to get married and is worried about leaving their home country

 

[Lulubop]

Nah, man. If some dude was sharing a story about a Francesca-like situation here, we'd all tell him to bail on someone who's about to get married and is worried about leaving their home country

facts

 

[wowzors]

Yep... I lost weight but really stayed the same.

Spoiler

I could stand to lose 15-20 more

Sounds like irrelevant numbers that wouldn't really make you happy though.

 

[Plissken]

I mean you can tell her you like her and don't mind working through the medical issues together or just keeping in touch, but I wouldn't expect much and also look into other dates.

Yeah, I think I'll just text her tonight, lay it out. If she's ok with just texting / friendship until shes ready to date, so am I. If not, then I'm ok moving on as well.

Also, to the weight discussion, I can attest that just because you lose weight, you don't necessarily lose your previous self image. I dropped 275 lbs in the last 2 1/2 years, and while I feel and look a lot better, there are plenty of days where I just see myself as the fat guy I used to be. It's a constant struggle to feel confident in myself.

 

[EchoChamber]

I think I found the one. Buckle up, mother fuckers

Spoiler

Don't get too excited, just chatting and will meet up in a couple days. If she looks like her photos, I may be in love. Don't laugh at me Vern.

That Master of None episode was on point. Also I need to move to Italy to meet a girl like Francesca.

Edit: goddamn, top of page?

I will prepare the popcorn anyways not matter what happens this will be interesting 😏😏😏

 

[ZackieChan]

Nah, man. If some dude was sharing a story about a Francesca-like situation here, we'd all tell him to bail on someone who's about to get married and is worried about leaving their home country

No doubt. I'd want a single Francesca

 

[Peltz]

I know exactly how you feel. This hits very close to home.

I would want my parents' approval in an ideal world. However, I refuse to let my parents' closemindedness dictate who I decide to have a relationship with, especially for petty reasons that have nothing to do with her morals or values. They don't get to be in the way of my happiness for reasons of ethnicity or skin color. If they refuse to met her or eventually attend our wedding, that is entirely on them, and I am not going to give in to that and be unfair to someone who makes me happy and treats me right.

"Sorry, babe, I love you, but my parents are prejudiced against you because of your skin color so this won't work". I would be immensely resentful of my parents if I let them break up such a relationship.

I understand it is very difficult to come to terms with your parents' prejudices. They raised you and love you and you owe so much to them. BUT, that doesn't give them free reign to control you and dictate your happiness. Easier said than done, I know, the internal struggle can be excruciating. However, that is on them to own up to their prejudices, not on you to give way to them.

Have you told them about her? If so how did you do it and do you have any advice for bringing it up?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Have you told them about her? If so how did you do it and do you have any advice for bringing it up?

As someone whose parents said, in no uncertain terms, that their son shouldn't date a black girl (but was fine with Asians and Jews, weirdly, as well as Latinas) and who absolutely hated my white ex-wife...

You say you're happy. You explain the reason why. And you don't let their prejudices ruin something good.

 

[PancakeBurglar]

Started dating again since I broke up with my girlfriend back in November, downloaded Tinder and Bumble over the weekend and am getting solid matches overall. Had a coffee date tonight but that got canceled, she offered to reschedule so we'll see if that goes anywhere but I'm keeping expectations low. Have a date Thursday with a cute latina for some drinks, hopefully that follows through. Trying to keep an overall positive attitude though and getting used to dating on a regular basis again.

 

[Leeness]

Sounds like irrelevant numbers that wouldn't really make you happy though.

This is true lol. Nothing really will.

Yerp, body dysmorphia (sp?) is a real thing and super hard to overcome. Even harder if you have any kind of mental illness like depression.

That and anxiety and social anxiety and depression and OCD and maybe borderline personality disorder, maybe a few other things lmao. All very exciting!

 

[Llyranor]

Have you told them about her? If so how did you do it and do you have any advice for bringing it up?

I've told them. The situation is still unresolved D: They haven't met her yet (they've known for a year now but refuse to), but they know where I stand. I love them, but I am not going to let their prejudices dictate how I live my life. Whether this helps them open up their mind or negatively impact their relationship with me is up to them. It's not even about a specific girl or another. Even if things don't work out in my relationship, their attempts at sabotaging it for petty reasons will not sit well with me. I sound firmer on a message board than in RL with them, it's not an easy task.

 

[SmackDaddy]

This is true lol. Nothing really will.



That and anxiety and social anxiety and depression and OCD and maybe borderline personality disorder, maybe a few other things lmao. All very exciting!

You getting help for these things? Also, sorry in the past, I've been kinda rude to you. You prly don't remember tho

PS: broke down the weekend wall with the girl I'm trying to see more ! Plans to hang out on a weekday night tomorrow

 

[Leeness]

You getting help for these things? Also, sorry in the past, I've been kinda rude to you. You prly don't remember tho

PS: broke down the weekend wall with the girl I'm trying to see more ! Plans to hang out on a weekday night tomorrow

Nah lol. It's all good, no worries!

Good luck trying to hang out with your lady

 

[Disxo]

That and anxiety and social anxiety and depression and OCD and maybe borderline personality disorder, maybe a few other things lmao. All very exciting!

Regular excercise and having more hobbies solved that for me, you should try filling your head with fun activities so as to avoid filling yourself with anxiety.

Edit:
I hit rock bottom with anxiety, even having strong panic attacks all the fucking time!excercise saved my life

 

[Leeness]

Regular excercise and having more hobbies solved that for me, you should try filling your head with fun activities so as to avoid filling yourself with anxiety.

Edit:
I hit rock bottom with anxiety, even having strong panic attacks all the fucking time!excercise saved my life

I can't really regularly exercise anymore but I go on walks and stuff whenever I can

 

[dcelw540]

Started dating again since I broke up with my girlfriend back in November, downloaded Tinder and Bumble over the weekend and am getting solid matches overall. Had a coffee date tonight but that got canceled, she offered to reschedule so we'll see if that goes anywhere but I'm keeping expectations low. Have a date Thursday with a cute latina for some drinks, hopefully that follows through. Trying to keep an overall positive attitude though and getting used to dating on a regular basis again.

My man! Good for you! I keep checking up on the thread everyday love hearing about all your stories. Currently almost a year since I broke up with my ex and haven't been on any dates. I have tinder but don't use it too often and don't get many matches. But honestly I'm just going with the flow.

 

[AcridMeat]

Peltz I'm having a difficult time comprehending your situation. Are you actively seeing other people or is it the label you're hung up on? Is she seeing other people?

It just seems like there's a detail about this situation you've left out. It's your life not your parents.

 

[Lulubop]

Does linking spotify on your Bumble account work on Android? I swear, never does

 

[vern]

I think I found the one. Buckle up, mother fuckers

Spoiler

Don't get too excited, just chatting and will meet up in a couple days. If she looks like her photos, I may be in love. Don't laugh at me Vern.

That's not why I laugh at you. I can't judge, I fall in love just as quick.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Does linking spotify on your Bumble account work on Android? I swear, never does

I never actually thought that people linked things like their Spotify account to their dating profiles. Does that help in any way? I personally couldn't see someone messaging me to say,

"Hi, MB, I was about to pass up on your profile but then I noticed that you liked listening to military marches, klezmer music and Vocaloid. Let's go out!"

But maybe that's the secret weapon.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I think I found the one. Buckle up, mother fuckers

Spoiler

Don't get too excited, just chatting and will meet up in a couple days. If she looks like her photos, I may be in love. Don't laugh at me Vern.

That Master of None episode was on point. Also I need to move to Italy to meet a girl like Francesca.

Edit: goddamn, top of page?

It's the year for meeting the one my dude. Embrace it...join me in martial bliss!

 

[Moose Biscuits]

It's the year for meeting the one my dude. Embrace it...join me in martial bliss!

Do you listen to military marches as well?

 

[JadedWriter]

Ok so me and this woman, she's introverted (I am too and she knows this) just recently started to date. We sort of celebrated planning our second date and I called us "Team Introvert" would she take offense to this? She tends to not always reply to every text, which I'm getting used to. I think I'm just hoping she didn't take offense to it.

 

[Llyranor]

Don't second-guess everything you say and don't overthink past events. If you go that route, you will start to walk on eggshells when interacting with her and it'll just end up being stressful.

 

[Solo]

Well it finally happened, I matched with a girl and her BFF.
I booked one of them for wednesday. Glad I noticed their group photos in instagram before arranging dates with both, lol.

But on the other hand, why not... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I was talking with a girl on bumble awhile back and she said she couldn't show my picture to her friend because i matched with both of them but only responded to her...

Heh. When I used to be on Tinder I matched with this girl, was chatting her up and made a plan to meet her downtown after a music festival. She later writes me "you can meet BOTH of us - you matched with my roommate too". I'm thinking "shit, I'm busted".

I've been dating her for almost 3 years now.

 

[Deitus]

Ok so me and this woman, she's introverted (I am too and she knows this) just recently started to date. We sort of celebrated planning our second date and I called us "Team Introvert" would she take offense to this? She tends to not always reply to every text, which I'm getting used to. I think I'm just hoping she didn't take offense to it.

I don't think anyone here can answer that. It seems innocent enough, and you were including yourself so it wouldn't really come off as teasing just her. I doubt it's something anyone would get truly offended about, but it's possible it's a subject she's a little sensitive about.

Alternately, she might not have had anything interesting to reply. As a fellow introvert with some anxiety issues, I want to reply to every text I get, but I just can't. I'll sit there for several minutes trying to think of something clever, thoughtful, or interesting to say, and when I can't think of anything I leave it. I will always make a point to answer questions and make sure I give the impression I'm interested in talking to them, but often text conversations trail off when the ball's in my court to keep them going. Maybe this girl is similar.

Either way, I would suggest not dwelling too much on it, and the next time you guys are actually talking tell her you hope you didn't upset her with that comment. Don't bring it up before she replies again though. It comes off a bit too "please respond" and it's far too innocuous a comment that a preemptive apology comes off desperate.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Heh. When I used to be on Tinder I matched with this girl, was chatting her up and made a plan to meet her downtown after a music festival. She later writes me "you can meet BOTH of us - you matched with my roommate too". I'm thinking "shit, I'm busted".

I've been dating her for almost 3 years now.

Yeah, that hardly seems like a deal breaker tbh: anyone using an internet dating service has to know that it's basically a meat market and matching doesn't mean exclusivity.

 

[Solo]

Yeah, that hardly seems like a deal breaker tbh: anyone using an internet dating service has to know that it's basically a meat market and matching doesn't mean exclusivity.

For sure. Not to mention I was guilty of being a "swipe yes to everyone and sort the matches out later" person. I never actually messaged (or received a message) from her roommate after matching.

 

[Krauser Kat]

I never actually thought that people linked things like their Spotify account to their dating profiles. Does that help in any way? I personally couldn't see someone messaging me to say,

"Hi, MB, I was about to pass up on your profile but then I noticed that you liked listening to military marches, klezmer music and Vocaloid. Let's go out!"

But maybe that's the secret weapon.

It works.
I have gotten quite a few hits off of bands i like shown on my spotify linked list. Its usually just another avenue for someone to message you if they like you. I dont think it would be the tipping point and win someone over that normally wouldnt message you.

 

[AllGamer]

I never actually thought that people linked things like their Spotify account to their dating profiles. Does that help in any way? I personally couldn't see someone messaging me to say,

"Hi, MB, I was about to pass up on your profile but then I noticed that you liked listening to military marches, klezmer music and Vocaloid. Let's go out!"

But maybe that's the secret weapon.

It can help. Had a match on Tinder and she had nothing in her profile but 2 pictures and her "anthem", didn't even link her spotify account. My first message was a mere "Apparently, you have great taste in music" which lead to a conversation and a date and... then nothing...the point is, it can help

 

[LucidMomentum]

All I'm saying is if she don't like my Carly Rae Jensen and Case/Lang/Veirs then she can leave.

 

[gaiages]

Peltz I'm having a difficult time comprehending your situation. Are you actively seeing other people or is it the label you're hung up on? Is she seeing other people?

It just seems like there's a detail about this situation you've left out. It's your life not your parents.

Yeah, I really feel he's leaving an important detail out :/ I mean if he doesn't want to tell us that's fine, but I hope he himself is not ignoring it and shifting all the "blame" on his parents' approval (not that he's blaming anyone, I just can't think of a better word atm)

I never actually thought that people linked things like their Spotify account to their dating profiles. Does that help in any way? I personally couldn't see someone messaging me to say,

"Hi, MB, I was about to pass up on your profile but then I noticed that you liked listening to military marches, klezmer music and Vocaloid. Let's go out!"

But maybe that's the secret weapon.

I wonder if I would have gotten more messages if people knew I liked Falcom music and power metal...?

For real though a lot of people bond based on musical tastes, it's one of the few likes/hobbies/whatever that most everyone can understand.

 

[JadedWriter]

Don't second-guess everything you say and don't overthink past events. If you go that route, you will start to walk on eggshells when interacting with her and it'll just end up being stressful.

Yeah I have some bad history with women and people in general. Really can't let that dictate everything.

I don't think anyone here can answer that. It seems innocent enough, and you were including yourself so it wouldn't really come off as teasing just her. I doubt it's something anyone would get truly offended about, but it's possible it's a subject she's a little sensitive about.

Alternately, she might not have had anything interesting to reply. As a fellow introvert with some anxiety issues, I want to reply to every text I get, but I just can't. I'll sit there for several minutes trying to think of something clever, thoughtful, or interesting to say, and when I can't think of anything I leave it. I will always make a point to answer questions and make sure I give the impression I'm interested in talking to them, but often text conversations trail off when the ball's in my court to keep them going. Maybe this girl is similar.

Either way, I would suggest not dwelling too much on it, and the next time you guys are actually talking tell her you hope you didn't upset her with that comment. Don't bring it up before she replies again though. It comes off a bit too "please respond" and it's far too innocuous a comment that a preemptive apology comes off desperate.

I think if she had a big problem with it she would've said something about it. When we first started texting I ended up actually texting her too much. She pretty much told me that she's a textbook introvert and that she needs healthy alone time and that if I want daily conversations that we should break it off before we meet and look elsewhere. After this we talked about it and I told her that I'm willing to work with her on this issue. I left her alone till the morning of our first date, which we both seemed to enjoy and now I pretty much just text her every other day to give her her space and recharge time.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Ok so me and this woman, she's introverted (I am too and she knows this) just recently started to date. We sort of celebrated planning our second date and I called us "Team Introvert" would she take offense to this? She tends to not always reply to every text, which I'm getting used to. I think I'm just hoping she didn't take offense to it.

Sounds all good to me, just relax.

 

[Peltz]

This is true lol. Nothing really will.



That and anxiety and social anxiety and depression and OCD and maybe borderline personality disorder, maybe a few other things lmao. All very exciting!

You should read this book:

It even has a nice passage on issues you've mentioned - anxiety, OCD, personality disorder, etc. I highly recommend reading the whole book though. It certainly got my head straight.

Peltz I'm having a difficult time comprehending your situation. Are you actively seeing other people or is it the label you're hung up on? Is she seeing other people?

It just seems like there's a detail about this situation you've left out. It's your life not your parents.

I'm seeing other people although no one consistently. I told her she is free to do the same, but she refuses to do so.

I'm hung up on committing to her, but I am genuinely not sure if it's my parents messing with my head, or if it's something I genuinely don't want to do. When I'm with her, stuff is amazing. When I'm not, I miss her, but also look forward to meeting other women. To be honest, I'm just not fully in touch with what I want.

I guess I want to know why I don't want to commit with her: is it out of fear of the future due to my family or because I genuinely have doubts about things just because of how I feel about her, regardless of my upbringing?

It's important for me to figure this out before I make any decision, even if that decision is to end things so that I could avoid repeating any mistakes. But I guess I'm leaning towards ending it at this point... which sucks. Most guys would kill to get with this girl. Heck, I would've killed to get with her too before I got her. And she's been a total sweetheart. But the lack of certainty is just too much.

I think I'm just in denial of what I'm really looking for... which is probably more in line with what my parents expect out of me. Less with regard to race and religion, and more regarding occupation and education level. Those are superficial/snobby things to care about in the grand scheme of things, but maybe I should just embrace them at this point.