Sounds pretty harmless honestly.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Sounds pretty harmless honestly.
artsi
Member
That's how I see it, and she did admit that she's a bit slow burner back then, so I'm not blaming her.
I accepted it and decided there and then that I'm going to be patient and see how it goes, because I like her.
If I was a gold digger
I'd make a joke how she's technically worth a few million bucks but... Honestly I don't give a damn lol.
TRY AND STOP THIS DOUBLE POST TOO
You probably shouldn't be comfortable with a female friend acting physically clingy like that. If your girlfriend saw that, would she be okay with it? Yes or no? If not, put a stop to it ASAP. There's plenty of reasons she might be doing this, nefarious or benign as they may be, but it really doesn't matter what the reason is. If your girlfriend doesn't like it and/or it makes you feel uncomfortable, have her stop. If you think she's trying to make a move on you, have her stop. If for whatever reason whatsoever you're like "nah bruh", HAVE HER STOP.
Your sister told you to not mess this shit up after all
You probably shouldn't be comfortable with a female friend acting physically clingy like that. If your girlfriend saw that, would she be okay with it? Yes or no? If not, put a stop to it ASAP. There's plenty of reasons she might be doing this, nefarious or benign as they may be, but it really doesn't matter what the reason is. If your girlfriend doesn't like it and/or it makes you feel uncomfortable, have her stop. If you think she's trying to make a move on you, have her stop. If for whatever reason whatsoever you're like "nah bruh", HAVE HER STOP.
Your sister told you to not mess this shit up after all
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, that seems a bit much. Head on your shoulder? Any girlfriend would lose it seeing that.
I think that her lizard brain is taking over once she saw you with another girl.
I think that her lizard brain is taking over once she saw you with another girl.
Megalosaro
Banned
How many dates before you kissed?
Clay Davis
Member
Thank you all. It happened so suddenly, all of the above happened in the course of two weeks, which is why I wasn't sure what was happening.
I will talk to her the next time we meet. I'm debating whether to bring this up to my girlfriend, I'm currently leaning towards not saying anything, at least until I've my feelings clear to my friend and how she reacts.
One last thing, would it be too much to ask for some advice on how best to bring this up to her? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I also can't have this jeopardise my relationship or continue to make me feel uncomfortable.
I will talk to her the next time we meet. I'm debating whether to bring this up to my girlfriend, I'm currently leaning towards not saying anything, at least until I've my feelings clear to my friend and how she reacts.
One last thing, would it be too much to ask for some advice on how best to bring this up to her? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I also can't have this jeopardise my relationship or continue to make me feel uncomfortable.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Yeah, this. She see's competition for your attention. She might not want you but does not want to see you with another girl.
always crazy bacon
Banned
DONT!
LookAtMeGo
Member
Lol. My head hurts. After last night of copious amounts of booze and other things I get a call from my drunk ex saying she misses me and shit.
I end up talking to her forever because I am weak and cant just tell her to fuck off. I dont think my date liked that. She bounced. I didnt even care. I'd rather talk to the ex. The fuck is wrong with me? I think I need to go see my psych about this.
I end up talking to her forever because I am weak and cant just tell her to fuck off. I dont think my date liked that. She bounced. I didnt even care. I'd rather talk to the ex. The fuck is wrong with me? I think I need to go see my psych about this.
I'm no wordsmith but something like "hey Ive kinda noticed you acting a bit closer with me lately. I've got a girl so that could be taken the wrong way. Is this you being more comfortable with me as a friend or is there something you wanna talk about?"
You don't have to bring it up to the GF, since it's really just between the two of you. Might cause unneeded drama.
artsi
Member
Megalosaro
Banned
Shit, that isn't that bad. I didn't try kissing my gf until our 5th date. Though, to be fair that date was only 2 weeks after we first met.
We've kissed plenty since then lol.
We've kissed plenty since then lol.
Some updates.
Last saturday a friend invited me to a bar with some girl that was spending some days in town. It was her last day here, so we started having some beers and a blues band was playing live (really awesome I have to say). A couple of hours later I find myself with my arm around her and making her laugh, then she stands up to dance and I naturally follow her and we started kissing. The bar closes and I told her my place was really close, so we went back and well... the dry spell was finally broken.
And yesterday I got ghosted by a girl that was also spending her last day here. We were supposed to go to a pizza place (the best in town as I've told her) that is near my house and then when I told her to let me know when she was getting there so I could get going, nothing. So I said "fuck it" (not to her obviously), ordered a pizza and watched Dazed and Confused. What a good movie it is.
Last saturday a friend invited me to a bar with some girl that was spending some days in town. It was her last day here, so we started having some beers and a blues band was playing live (really awesome I have to say). A couple of hours later I find myself with my arm around her and making her laugh, then she stands up to dance and I naturally follow her and we started kissing. The bar closes and I told her my place was really close, so we went back and well... the dry spell was finally broken.
And yesterday I got ghosted by a girl that was also spending her last day here. We were supposed to go to a pizza place (the best in town as I've told her) that is near my house and then when I told her to let me know when she was getting there so I could get going, nothing. So I said "fuck it" (not to her obviously), ordered a pizza and watched Dazed and Confused. What a good movie it is.
SmackDaddy
Member
Are you going to kill her?
She might just kill me if she turns me down.
artsi
Member
I'm only there for a few more weeks then I'll have a break until probably november/december (back to uni). I'm doing it soon, that's why I wrote that lol. Should've elaborated.
Don't talk to your GF about this... And don't talk to that girl neither. Next time she tries to touch you, just move your hand/shoulder/whatever gently out of her way while saying sorry and smile. This is the best subtle message without bringing drama.
Megalosaro
Banned
Don't fuck around. Your foots outside the door as is.
Your relationship isn't going to go catastrophic in 3 weeks or whatever. The normal don't shit where you eat rule doesn't apply. Go for it.
PS Ian McShane died in that scene,
You know?
You know?
You're right. And I do know the origin of that GIF but I didn't really think that far.
SmackDaddy
Member
Gl my dude. Don't let it bother you if she says no. Brush it off and move on . Hope for the best, expect the worst.
So had a first date with this girl last week and I had to drive her back to her place and I spent the night and we fooled around.
Kept talking to her and it seemed like this girl had major life problems. Tonight she says she wants to hang out again so I meet up with her again just to see if I was wrong. After a hour I was like this is not working, so I said I wanted to call it a night. she asked if she could come back to my place and I felt like I wanted her to dry out a little before she drove. She goes to her car and gets a back pack comes in and wants to use my tub to take a bath alone. Said to myself we have nothing in common and I can't leave this girl in my house when I get up tomorrow for work.
Told her I have to get up early and I was feeling sick cause My blood sugar dropped.
She finally leaves I write her a message saying I was sorry about the whole thing and I didn't want her to see me sick.
She writes back that I was a asshole and I can go fuck myself and I lot more shit. I had to block her on my phone.
I'm pretty happy I made the right move here.
Kept talking to her and it seemed like this girl had major life problems. Tonight she says she wants to hang out again so I meet up with her again just to see if I was wrong. After a hour I was like this is not working, so I said I wanted to call it a night. she asked if she could come back to my place and I felt like I wanted her to dry out a little before she drove. She goes to her car and gets a back pack comes in and wants to use my tub to take a bath alone. Said to myself we have nothing in common and I can't leave this girl in my house when I get up tomorrow for work.
Told her I have to get up early and I was feeling sick cause My blood sugar dropped.
She finally leaves I write her a message saying I was sorry about the whole thing and I didn't want her to see me sick.
She writes back that I was a asshole and I can go fuck myself and I lot more shit. I had to block her on my phone.
I'm pretty happy I made the right move here.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Bullet dogged like Neo.
Starlightmuse
Member
Holly molly of fuck, get the hell out of there. I had a friend that I really liked, and I tried to have something with her but she noped me, which is fine, I was sad for some time but we remained friends and that thing was forgotten after some time. Anyway, I began dating some girl some time after that (they knew each other) and she began to do exactly the same you're saying here. She began to hug me, hold my hand and do a lot of physical contact that she never did before, and I, like you, felt super awnkward.
I'd say it has to do with her seeing that she's now unable to date you anymore and regretting it, but you'd better stop it asap. About telling your gf about it, It's up to you, though I wouldn't do it if it isn't really necessary, she could feel a bit jealous (reasonably jealous) from now on when you go out with your friend if you tell her.
Just do this.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Sounds like she's caught feelings or maybe she always had feelings...
Holding someone's hand is a pretty intimate thing, especially as adults. It's a sign of trust, affection and her seeing you as a place of safety. Constantly touching you and wanting to be near you. Again, this is a sign of affection and her having feelings that go deeper than just friends. Do you ever feel like touching your friends for no reason?
The head on your shoulder thing, I have decades old female friends and I can count on one hand the number of times they've done that. She's doing it after knowing you for less than two years?
Don't look at things in isolation. She has feelings for you. Who decided to be friends first? If it was you and she just agreed... she probably just went along with it because she didn't want to lose you and hoped you'd eventually see her as more than a friend.
You need to be clear about your feelings. Make sure she understands there's no scenario where the two of you will hook up or be together. Also start talking about your girlfriend a lot more and start inviting her to more of your hangout sessions so she gets the message that you're seeing someone and you're unavailable.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Fudgepuppy
Banned
So about the date with the incredibly clever and beautiful 18 year old, I've gotten sick with swollen tonsils, taking antibiotics.
I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow and don't wanna re-schedule just yet, but at the same time I have a feeling that I if wait until tomorrow, it could come off as me getting cold feet.
But whatever, if I explicitly tell her tomorrow "Hey, I've gotten sick, so how about we re-schedule for next friday, same place and time?", there shouldn't be any room for her to assume I'm bailing.
I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow and don't wanna re-schedule just yet, but at the same time I have a feeling that I if wait until tomorrow, it could come off as me getting cold feet.
But whatever, if I explicitly tell her tomorrow "Hey, I've gotten sick, so how about we re-schedule for next friday, same place and time?", there shouldn't be any room for her to assume I'm bailing.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Wait until tomorrow, if you're still feeling shitty and you can't go, be honest. Tell her you came down with tonsillitis, you were hoping it would be better but it's not and you'd like to reschedule.
If there's any interest there, she'll understand be willing to reschedule.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
Baki
Member
Good point.
And I did ask her out on a date. Update below.
🙌🙌
😂
😂😂😂😂
Update ----
- Met for lunch & asked her out on a date (also discovered she came out of a 6 year relationship 6 months ago!!)
- She said yes in person to the date
- I dropped her instagram message on my flight back to my city (I still don't have her number yet 😂
- the message reaffirmed the date & asked her for her number
- she's seen the message (after 11pm) -- no response yet -- Let's see if she just agreed to the date because it's awkward to reject in person..
TBC GAF
PS: is it common for girls not to reject dates in person?
Cow Mengde
Banned
I'm in a bit of an awkward situation here. I need some advice.
I meet a girl from Belgium recently, but I didn't meet her for dating. I didn't even know she was a girl until the day before we met. So basically we just met as friends. I've known this girl for a little over a month, and we've hung out with each other quite a few times. I'm considering asking her out.
We definitely had some great times together, but it's not like I'm developing feelings for her or anything. I do see a lot of potential, and I just think it would be cool if we dated. Still, since we didn't meet each other with the intention of dating, feels weird to suddenly do this.
Am I overthinking too much? I don't want to get into an awkward situation.
You see, last year, I met a girl through another guy (she was local Chinese). We hit it off and we developed feeling for each other. The problem was, this girl suffers from anxiety and depression, along with other problems. She's leaving China for 4 years of school abroad. We decided it's just best if we stayed friends. So I'm not going to worry about this girl. Whatever happens, happens.
This Chinese girl was the first time I ever got into a sticky situation with a friend. While it didn't turn out horribly, it's making me hesitant in asking out this Belgium girl. Again, it's not like I developed feelings, I just saw potential with the 2 of us. But now that we've gotten to know each other well, it feels a little strange to ask her out. I don't know why. I guess when I date, I met the girls with the intention to date them since day 1. In this case, we met just to be friends. Being rejected can make things awkward, too. With other girls, I don't have to worry about this since I'll never see them again. The Belgium girl is a good friend and I hate to lose her friendship just because I think there's potential. I do think if we met the first day as a date (meaning we met through tinder or some crap), we would definitely be dating right now. She is a pretty awesome girl.
What do you guys think?
I meet a girl from Belgium recently, but I didn't meet her for dating. I didn't even know she was a girl until the day before we met. So basically we just met as friends. I've known this girl for a little over a month, and we've hung out with each other quite a few times. I'm considering asking her out.
We definitely had some great times together, but it's not like I'm developing feelings for her or anything. I do see a lot of potential, and I just think it would be cool if we dated. Still, since we didn't meet each other with the intention of dating, feels weird to suddenly do this.
Am I overthinking too much? I don't want to get into an awkward situation.
You see, last year, I met a girl through another guy (she was local Chinese). We hit it off and we developed feeling for each other. The problem was, this girl suffers from anxiety and depression, along with other problems. She's leaving China for 4 years of school abroad. We decided it's just best if we stayed friends. So I'm not going to worry about this girl. Whatever happens, happens.
This Chinese girl was the first time I ever got into a sticky situation with a friend. While it didn't turn out horribly, it's making me hesitant in asking out this Belgium girl. Again, it's not like I developed feelings, I just saw potential with the 2 of us. But now that we've gotten to know each other well, it feels a little strange to ask her out. I don't know why. I guess when I date, I met the girls with the intention to date them since day 1. In this case, we met just to be friends. Being rejected can make things awkward, too. With other girls, I don't have to worry about this since I'll never see them again. The Belgium girl is a good friend and I hate to lose her friendship just because I think there's potential. I do think if we met the first day as a date (meaning we met through tinder or some crap), we would definitely be dating right now. She is a pretty awesome girl.
What do you guys think?
Prime crotch
Banned
You will have to get into an awkward situation, ask her out for something more intimate, dinner at home or something, and feel the situation out, see how she behaves. You developed feelings, it's okay, if you get rejected, hey you can still be friends. It will be awkward for a time but it won't be like this huge elephant in the room. It's not like the mere idea of you being with her is this unthinkable thing, or that you will do something outlandish.. will you?
Caring about read receipts only results in overthinking and ruination. You'll have your answer soon enough, based on her response (or lack of it).Update ----
- Met for lunch & asked her out on a date (also discovered she came out of a 6 year relationship 6 months ago!!)
- She said yes in person to the date
- I dropped her instagram message on my flight back to my city (I still don't have her number yet 😂
- the message reaffirmed the date & asked her for her number
- she's seen the message (after 11pm) -- no response yet -- Let's see if she just agreed to the date because it's awkward to reject in person..
TBC GAF
PS: is it common for girls not to reject dates in person?
I dunno about common, but it's definitely plausible. It ties in with "why women ghost" - there's a lot of crazy men out there, they don't know how you'll react, and they don't want that negativity entering their life. Or it's just easier and spares them from dealing with your hurt feelings.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Yes.
Cow Mengde
Banned
What do you mean by doing something outlandish? Falling for the Chinese girl from before was pretty outlandish. She was someone I never would have guessed I would fall for. This girl from Belgium is actually closer to the kind of girls I normally date.
Maybe not common, but not unheard of, women aren't really sure how some men react to being rejected. Lots of horror stories.
Krauser Kat
Member
Ever think you might be addicted to swiping and meeting people?
artsi
Member
Honestly, I've noticed it in myself, yeah.
I mean, after last reset I have over 230 matches and that's already more than I could ever date, but it's a mental drug when you find out that people want to date you, or at least that they like your looks.
Same with Instagram followers, likes etc.
Hot girl started following you? Of course that makes you feel good and you want more.
But on the other hand it gives a huge confidence boost and I haven't noticed any downsides yet.
Except maybe that everywhere I go in my small town I see someone I've matched with, or gone on a date, and it might get a bit awkward sometimes.
Baki
Member
Hear ya on the read receipts & ultimately agree with your stance. If she's into me, she'll get back to me, if she isn't, she won't. Nothing to think about, as it's outta my hands 🙌
Krauser Kat
Member
I think when i meet people i really connect with i connect with them. When im almost there with someone, i think i might have the "you could swipe better" in the back of my head. I might be giving people less of a chance if didnt have such a backlog of connections.
LichtenbergFigures
Member
HOW MANY?!?!?! I'm lucky if I get one or two! Just how handsome are you exactly (given your profile pic is Harvey Specter).
Being an asshole is underrated. You're good dude.
Eh... if I were walking with my GF, and even holding my GF's hand, and a close female friend of mine came over and grabbed the other hand/arm, I'm 100% sure my GF wouldn't give a shit.
It all depends on whether my GF knows the girl in question. If she's a complete stranger to my GF, then hand holding, head resting, cheek kissing, and other stuff is totally not okay. But if my GF has met and trusts the girl in question, I think it's perfectly okay for her to rest her head on my shoulder if she's tired, hold my arm when being escorted somewhere formal, and kiss me on the cheek when saying hello/goodbye.
Is it all 100% innocent? No. But there's a grey area there of acceptable behavior that around 95% innocent as long as there is trust involved.
There's a line that you shouldn't cross obviously, and that you have to feel out, but some light affection among friends off opposite genders is sort of normal.
We all still firmly believe that he IS Harvey Specter
always crazy bacon
Banned
But you live on an island and it's not just about looks. It's a combination of things working together.
Count Dookkake
Member
Using the bath alone upon first visit?
GTFO.
GTFO.
Haha that's why I deleted all of mine--totally opposite effect.
LichtenbergFigures
Member
That would explain it haha
Sure, this is true I'm not expecting such a massive response rate, but is there any real evidence a decent profile blurb makes a difference on Tinder? (If there is, please link me to it, genuinely interested). I actually believe on island, most women are purely curious, rather than genuinely looking. Let's see who's on Tinder for a laugh.
LucidMomentum
Member
But lets be honest, on apps like Tinder and such looks go a long way.
But in the end it is a numbers game and having enough things in your profile to catch someone's eye helps increase your odds.
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