-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
LookAtMeGo
Member
I still make good ones.
Then I would have missed out on a lot of fun.
Yup. Most of the time it hasnt been an issue.
Nope. Nobody knows we banged. Shit gets around there pretty damn quick. If it had, I would know. Not everyone kiss and tells. Now everyone knows about me and the other one though because I told people.
Haha bull fucking shit they have. If you knew the situation, you would know how ridiculous that sounds.
Was for sure. Not really an issue. Doesnt bother me in the least.
Sure, why not? I dont see her often as it is.
Fucked if I want any sympathy. I broke up with my ex not the other way around. I just tried to go back on it too late and it never panned out... then it got worse. But hey! Shit happens. I just like to share stories for the most part.
Out of curiosity. Are you married and or in a serious relationship?
Raptomex
Member
I'm with you on that. Never again.I've had one very bad experience, not even gonna talk about it, but period sex is forever this to me after that:
Gotdatmoney
Member
Probably need to avoid cheeky jokes in the future. Humour is in part about expression and tone. Those dont show well over text. Otherwise, just keep trying. Only need 1 success.
Krauser Kat
Member
Period Sex is great! Just lay down some towels and take a shower after.
The bloody part is easy. When its the end of the run and the thick stuff is when you should avoid it at the most.
Also GODDAMN there was a really really cute girl at drawing last night and we talked for awhile. She just got into Chicago from Minneapolis. I am shook. Drawing is the one place i try not to shit where i eat. I want it to be open and awesome for everyone to come and enjoy art and hang with friends. Accidentally making it awkward for someone would suck.
If she comes back again ill have to decide.
The bloody part is easy. When its the end of the run and the thick stuff is when you should avoid it at the most.
Also GODDAMN there was a really really cute girl at drawing last night and we talked for awhile. She just got into Chicago from Minneapolis. I am shook. Drawing is the one place i try not to shit where i eat. I want it to be open and awesome for everyone to come and enjoy art and hang with friends. Accidentally making it awkward for someone would suck.
If she comes back again ill have to decide.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Married, after years of dating and relationship experience.
lol I wouldn't call it great. But it's not as horrible as some people make it out to be. Non-period sex is great.
Baron von Loathsome
Member
So I've been using OK Cupid for a few weeks now. I've gotten a couple of matches, but nothing that's lasted longer than a couple messages.
Regardless, I'm feeling pretty lost right now. I don't really know what I really want from a relationship. Part of me wants something meaningful, part of me just wants to get my dick wet, part of me is worried about catching feelings from a one-night stand.
I'm also worried about whether I can find a real connection. The most meaningful connection I've ever had with a woman is that friend of mine who started dating her ex a month or so ago. I have no idea how I managed to connect with her so well, and I'm worried that lightning won't strike twice for me. I struggle to make friends, especially with women, and even when I do and they do want to hang out with me, I usually find that we don't have much in the way of chemistry.
Regardless, I'm feeling pretty lost right now. I don't really know what I really want from a relationship. Part of me wants something meaningful, part of me just wants to get my dick wet, part of me is worried about catching feelings from a one-night stand.
I'm also worried about whether I can find a real connection. The most meaningful connection I've ever had with a woman is that friend of mine who started dating her ex a month or so ago. I have no idea how I managed to connect with her so well, and I'm worried that lightning won't strike twice for me. I struggle to make friends, especially with women, and even when I do and they do want to hang out with me, I usually find that we don't have much in the way of chemistry.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Predictably hooked up with my friend's friend from California who's crashing with me. She also bought me dinner and drinks. Best non-date ever.
Yet I mostly worried about whether the little Moana stuffed tsum tsum will arrive in time for my girl's birthday.
Yet I mostly worried about whether the little Moana stuffed tsum tsum will arrive in time for my girl's birthday.
always crazy bacon
Banned
You won't catch feelings from a one night stand, and if you did and shrared that with her it would come across as desperate and clinging and not lead to a relationship. Stop over thinking, go with whatever situation presents it self to you. Relax and you'll find what your looking for even if you don't know what that is now.
"Couple of messages"? How many? On OKC/CMB, I rarely go more that 3-4 messages before asking to meet up for coffee some time. Do you live in a city where the travel time to meet up would be short & easy?
Gotdatmoney
Member
Chemistry doesn't just appear out of thin air. If you are vibing with a friend it's because frimds vibe. Like people you spend a lot of time with naturally just get comfortable around each other. A lot of people just think you instantly comnect with someone. Uh sometimes it happens like that, sometimes it takes longer. If your worried you wont connect with another woman like the froend you never dated, never had sex with and never actually had anything romantic with you have a really narrow view of what your capable of.
And getting your dick wet is not a sin bruh. Just some good clean fun never hurt anyone. Chill.
Baron von Loathsome
Member
Thanks for the advice, I'm new to this whole thing.
The people I've matched with are easy to meet up with travel-wise, but yeah, I guess I've wasted too much time trying to get to know them via messages first.
I meant with women that I actually spend time around with and consider friends, I've often found little to sustain a conversation or anything. Hanging out with one particular friend of mine has always been awkward unless either someone else is hanging out with us or we're watching WatchMojo lists together, and even that is marginally less awkward.
I know it's not, I just don't consider myself emotionally mature enough to handle casual sex. ACB said I'd come across as desperate and clingy and, well, that's exactly how I feel right now.
LordKasual
Banned
You aren't doing anything wrong.
Her mind is in a different place than yours. You just aren't on the same wavelength.
It sounds like she has goals with work or life (or whatever), and you're a sort of leaning stone for her. Dont have enough information to tell if that's a lie, but there's honestly no reason why it would be. Sounds like it bothers you though, and it's probably only gonna get worse if you can't deal with it.
Just my advice....this honestly sounds like a sort of "friends with benefits" situation. This sounds like the kind of thing she'd ring up her girlfriends and rant about. You are smashing, right?
If you are, then it really seems like you're kind of an accessory to her. Which isn't a bad thing, persay...but since it bothers you, it just means that you two are currently looking for different things.
manfestival
Member
gotta say that you guys were right so far in the bits of advice I asked.
Slight conflict I have with myself. I have always been taught to keep communication through text and phone short and leave it mostly to setting up dates. However I have her texting me all day at this point and I dont want her to feel as if I am playing games by ignoring her texts. It is still super early in the process and we are both very much into each other
Slight conflict I have with myself. I have always been taught to keep communication through text and phone short and leave it mostly to setting up dates. However I have her texting me all day at this point and I dont want her to feel as if I am playing games by ignoring her texts. It is still super early in the process and we are both very much into each other
Gotdatmoney
Member
If you feel awkward around your friends you probably need to evaluate why. Cause people you spend a moderate amount of time with shouldn't make for an uncomfortable experience.
I disagree with ACB here. I dont think it even matters if you come across that way because you seem to have built up sex as a huge thing when it's not. I think at a certain point you need to try it so you can see like "no this isnt a big deal unless I make it one".
Just keep the responses minimal. It's just a reality some people are better and some are worse with texting. Tbh if someone isn't on my main list of people I message I find the whole texting process boring. I have like 3 people I talk to all the time. New people, keep it minimal cause we aint talking about anything important.
The idea is that you shouldn't be the one initiating contact all the time, it can make you seem overbearing.
It's fine to talk with her if she is, but you run the risk of getting sucked into how frequently you communicate via text. Once she eases up a bit you'll be back here going "I don't get it, we had such a great time etc." without seeing her in person again first.
You can always just say "Hey I'm busy with work I'll text you later" or whatever. Frequent texters really aren't a problem just keep your head straight and it's fine.
You think too much.
As far as how many messages to send... You could literally say "Hi there. I'm not a big texter. So I know this is unusually fast, but would you like to just grab a drink?"
Believe it or not, it can occasionally work, even with very hot girls.
LordKasual
Banned
I'm 6'4", and I think i'm genuinely envious of this.
I love fun-sized girls, but damn...some things are just a chore. Which is made worse because i'm out of shape as fuck.
Well, I should clarify something, he's actually kind of right. "Mysterious" is just kind of a modifier on an already attractive personality. You can't just be mysteriously attractive. That's just being awkward.
The key thing to realize here is that confidence is probably the biggest thing when it comes to women finding you sexually attractive. And women are really, really good at picking up on it, so faking it usually doesn't work, and if it does, it probably won't last. Your anxiety will ooze from your choice of words, body language, responses, everything. It's something you have to mentally address. This is why it's never good to rely only on alcohol to talk to women, because once it wears off you can essentially lose the key aspect of your attractiveness.
So...back to the question of whether to explicitly call it a date or not...the choice of words itself is irrelevant. The real question is why you're choosing them. Or are you calling it a date because you feel like it'll enhance the attractiveness of the event? Or are you calling it a date because you don't want your intention to be misconstrued? The second one implies that you believe your approach is in danger of ending in some friendzone situation, which means you're already mentally failing before you even get to the question. If you work on changing your mindset, everything else will just follow suit.
You ain't gonna win every woman you try to talk to, but at the very least you'll stop getting that "aww that's so sweet and brave!" fuckshit anymore.
LucidMomentum
Member
This.
The date should be where you find a connection, unless the person is like super introverted and won't go out until you've texted for a while. But that can also be a way for people to get attention, as a lot of people are on dating apps just to "talk" with people so make your intentions known sooner than later.
On dating apps, it's for sure a numbers game. Shoot out as many messages to as many people that you find attractive and / or interesting, and eventually you'll click with someone who will want to go out. That's when you find out if there's real chemistry.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Just don't instantly reply to her texts, slowly drag out response time until she is used to the frequency. Also tell her sometimes you can't respond becuse you're in a meeting or have work to do. Train her not to expect you to be instantly available.
always crazy bacon
Banned
So true, eliminate the texting buddy's ASAP, the bored office worker you are entertaining 9-5 who's never available for a date. Let her waste some other guys time, and for sure she'll have more than just you.
Night.Ninja
Banned
There's nothing wrong with period sex I had some the other day felt great, have to lay the towel down of course
Gotdatmoney
Member
I'm 6'4", and I think i'm genuinely envious of this.
I love fun-sized girls, but damn...some things are just a chore. Which is made worse because i'm out of shape as fuck.
Well, I should clarify something, he's actually kind of right. "Mysterious" is just kind of a modifier on an already attractive personality. You can't just be mysteriously attractive. That's just being awkward.
The key thing to realize here is that confidence is probably the biggest thing when it comes to women finding you sexually attractive. And women are really, really good at picking up on it, so faking it usually doesn't work, and if it does, it probably won't last. Your anxiety will ooze from your choice of words, body language, responses, everything. It's something you have to mentally address. This is why it's never good to rely only on alcohol to talk to women, because once it wears off you can essentially lose the key aspect of your attractiveness.
So...back to the question of whether to explicitly call it a date or not...the choice of words itself is irrelevant. The real question is why you're choosing them. Or are you calling it a date because you feel like it'll enhance the attractiveness of the event? Or are you calling it a date because you don't want your intention to be misconstrued? The second one implies that you believe your approach is in danger of ending in some friendzone situation, which means you're already mentally failing before you even get to the question. If you work on changing your mindset, everything else will just follow suit.
You ain't gonna win every woman you try to talk to, but at the very least you'll stop getting that "aww that's so sweet and brave!" fuckshit anymore.
Personally I suggest you call it a date so your intentions are understood. 0 point in leaving it ambiguous when you can just make it known that you aren't here as friends. If it's a dating app you dont need to call it a date agree or if it's a random you meet in a bar (if you approached them that is). A friend or someone you know loosely I do think you need to specify. Keeps it simple.
As far as confidence and mysterious amd all that shit frankly I don't really think it's complicated. Imo if yoh want something you just go and ask for it. You go and get it. Shit isn't likely to fall into your lap. You think that girl is cute and wanna talk to her, just talk to her and say that.
I feel personally that just being direct as long as you aren't being
1) Desparate
2) Creepy
3) Doing it in the wrong venue.
Yeah, that's a tough situation. Some of the previous "don't shit where you eat" stories I've mentioned in this thread are through an art class (instructor on dating site, flirting with different instructor during open hours, and cute classmate flirting with me and chatting me up after class). The first two could just nuke the whole thing, but the last is safe-ish, as long as I don't make a habit of trying to date, like, every classmate at the studio.
I've found that I meet much more interesting people through cultural events and activities than I do through internet dating, but I also think that part of that is because I don't give internet dates enough of a chance, and not pursuing second dates, or not really being aggressive and putting myself out there in situations where chemistry can arise early enough.
Took a classmate out for dessert since she saved me a few weeks back. Suppose to be an hour thing, tops. Ended up walking around for 6 hours, just talking. Even concluded the night with getting her wet and playing in huge fountain, having her lay on my lap for a good while afterwards. Insane how chemistry can be there for some people and absent in others. Nothing can result from this and I can still say that was an awesome memory for me.
Anyone on the fence, really doesn't hurt to ask.
Anyone on the fence, really doesn't hurt to ask.
Absolutely. I've mentioned before that I used to have 4-5 dates a week from the dating apps. But to line up a week like that, I'd have to swipe a few hours per day on a consistent basis. If I didn't put the time in, then I would only meet someone new very infrequently.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Sounds like everything went to plan.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Check your pms
LucidMomentum
Member
Messofanego
Banned
Jzero
Member
For real, that's why I don't really like online dating. You can't feel the others person energy through the text they write on their profile. The people I like on paper end up not being the same type of people I like in real life.
always crazy bacon
Banned
That's why you have to take them on dates not expect the dating profile to be like making an order through Amazon.
you're trying to use dating sites like a shopping cart, it's just going to send people that might be compatible towards you. you still have to do the work.
Exactly.
See who you match with.
Chat briefly.
Schedule date.
The complete "novice" mistake of internet dating is waiting way too long before meeting up. If a girl will reject you after chatting for a brief time, she was probably going decline to meet up after a longer chat. Waiting does absolutely nothing for improving one's odds, and just constantly rolls the dice that comes with each message of the conversation simply dropping off.
Less chatting, more meeting. I would have been way better off if somebody told me that in my first month of trying internet dating.
TheLostBigBoss
Banned
.
I have a question for you guys:
Would you date someone who is asexuel?
For a long time I've wondered why I didn't really feel drawn to sex. Sure, it's fun. But so is eating cookies and playing piano. To me, sex is just a thing. I wouldn't mind not having sex ever again. Thus, when I'm with someone, I rarely have sex with them. I was dating someone at the beginning of the year and after 3 months he started being impatient. He told me he didn't fee like I loved him, because we didn't try anything yet. The relationship I was in before that lasted a year and a half and I had sex about every 1 or 2 months.
I can fall in love though. I can love someone with all my heart, and I can want to spend my whole life with that person. However, sex is something else.
Would you guys ever date someone like that? Should I try to have sex more often even if I don't really feel like it?
Thanks
Would you date someone who is asexuel?
For a long time I've wondered why I didn't really feel drawn to sex. Sure, it's fun. But so is eating cookies and playing piano. To me, sex is just a thing. I wouldn't mind not having sex ever again. Thus, when I'm with someone, I rarely have sex with them. I was dating someone at the beginning of the year and after 3 months he started being impatient. He told me he didn't fee like I loved him, because we didn't try anything yet. The relationship I was in before that lasted a year and a half and I had sex about every 1 or 2 months.
I can fall in love though. I can love someone with all my heart, and I can want to spend my whole life with that person. However, sex is something else.
Would you guys ever date someone like that? Should I try to have sex more often even if I don't really feel like it?
Thanks
LordKasual
Banned
You settled for the weaker end to this night, i believe
this sounds like the kind of thing college girls do when they're all but begging you to smash
But i can't even be mad at it. Sounded like fun.
Nah, don't force yourself to have sex if you're not really into it. I think most dating sites like OKCupid let you actually put your preference down as asexual so that should help find other asexual people.
Jzero
Member
Yea that's pretty much what I use OKC for. I just like seeing what's available and talking to people about music 😂
Messofanego
Banned
I didn't think there was any lower a friendzone could get until I read WaterAstro's thread.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=242897952&postcount=446
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=242897952&postcount=446
always crazy bacon
Banned
Someone put it better than I did later in the topic "by helping her with her career his actually helping her get higher tier dick." 😂
Messofanego
Banned
Personally, I could not date someone who is asexual. If you're looking for a relationship, you should try to find someone you feels the same way about sex that you do.
I'm not just saying that because you're asexual. It's the same advice I'd give to anyone.
Jzero
Member
We pretty much have to find someone else who is demisexual, asexual, or someone who has a low libido.
- Status