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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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vern

Member
Around the same age. It varies person to person for both sexes. But I'd say that's the average age when a person's career trajectory, habits, lifestyle, and life-goals start to take shape and become observable to others.

At 18-20, you have no idea what the person will become. At 25, you still don't completely know, but you have a better idea and more of an established track record.

The chance a person will undergo major behavioral changes once they reach 18-20 is like 90%. By 25, it's like 10%-15%.

Sure, of course as people get older they start to settle more into who they will eventually become, but what's that got to do with being an adult?

Anyway I've had about 5 different careers and lived in 4 countries and been basically on my own since I was 18. At which age did I become an adult? I'm 32 now and just started a new career about 5 months ago so I don't really understand your classification system for adulthood. Standard adult age is 18 in the western world, if people wanna say that those aren't adults or that they feel like a pedo by dating an 18 year old that's their own personal hang up.

18 year old women (and men) are adults. No reason to argue otherwise.

Edit:
Obviously everyone is not me and doesn't live a life similar to mine, but let me add a bit more. I personally like dating 18-22 or so because of exactly what you said. They don't have a career yet usually, they aren't overly serious about everything, they aren't stuck in their ways, they are open... I'm not trying to get married. I just wanna enjoy my life. If I'm in town for a few days why do I care about career or other stuff when I just want to find a cute local to show me around and have some fun with? I was in Barcelona a few days ago and went out with a young and beautiful Japanese girl, then I went to Beijing for a day and had tons of fun with a 20 year old Chinese girl, now I'm in Hong Kong and saw a 22 year old girl here last night. I'm not saying I'm sleeping with all of them or anything like that, but I will say that if I try to date a 25+ year old girl, they have a career and shit to do with their life, they have their own habits and routines... they aren't as likely to meet up for a date with a random dude passing through town on business...But what's a 20 year old girl got going on besides studying and hanging out in her dorm? Of course she'll come out have drinks and fun. Give me a girl that's spontaneous and exciting and not old (er) and stuck in her ways. These are generalizations but they fit your description based on age in a lot of ways, so I think I do agree with you, except I see these traits as benefits and you see them as drawbacks
 
I know this, is dating age, not relationship age, but whatever..

Three days ago I had a big fight over whatsapp with my girlfriend, in which she angrily presented to me a big list (around 20 points) of things she hates about me.

Mostly stuff about how I don't care enough about her, or that I do not appreciate her the way she feels I should appreciate her. Also, she accuses me of not taking her opinions on things seriously, or not even asking her. and making plans for both of us and not asking her about it, and she just follows along (she doesn't object to these plans either, or proposes own ones, I have to add).

I argued that I did a lot of good things to her (which I really think I did. Just not in the capacity she wanted).

So I went kind of angry after she wrote all of that stuff in quite a rude tone, and split up with her, because of this an the fact that we have big arguments over stuff like once a month..

Off course, after these few days, now, I regret this and feel sorry.
Should I try to get her back, or would this be lame (after me splitting up with her?)? She split up with me like three times in the beginning of our relationship when she was unsure about us, regretted it and came back to me each time.

Not sure what to do..
 

Solo

Member
I know this, is dating age, not relationship age, but whatever..

Three days ago I had a big fight over whatsapp with my girlfriend, in which she angrily presented to me a big list (around 20 points) of things she hates about me.

This is where you have self respect and leave.
 

vern

Member
I know this, is dating age, not relationship age, but whatever..

Three days ago I had a big fight over whatsapp with my girlfriend, in which she angrily presented to me a big list (around 20 points) of things she hates about me.

Mostly stuff about how I don't care enough about her, or that I do not appreciate her the way she feels I should appreciate her. Also, she accuses me of not taking her opinions on things seriously, or not even asking her. and making plans for both of us and not asking her about it, and she just follows along (she doesn't object to these plans either, or proposes own ones, I have to add).

I argued that I did a lot of good things to her (which I really think I did. Just not in the capacity she wanted).

So I went kind of angry after she wrote all of that stuff in quite a rude tone, and split up with her, because of this an the fact that we have big arguments over stuff like once a month..

Off course, after these few days, now, I regret this and feel sorry.
Should I try to get her back, or would this be lame (after me splitting up with her?)? She split up with me like three times in the beginning of our relationship when she was unsure about us, regretted it and came back to me each time.

Not sure what to do..

I'd find someone better.
 

artsi

Member
Three days ago I had a big fight over whatsapp with my girlfriend, in which she angrily presented to me a big list (around 20 points) of things she hates about me.

...

She split up with me like three times in the beginning of our relationship when she was unsure about us, regretted it and came back to me each time.

Well... I'm just saying that there's plenty of girls that don't do that kind of crazy stuff.

Now, do you want one of those or would you rather stay in this sinking ship?
 
Very scientific. How about men?

The chance a person will undergo major behavioral changes once they reach 18-20 is like 90%. By 25, it's like 10%-15%.

Percentages you've made up on the spot?

It's generally observable that women mature faster then men and they also prefer to date at least a couple of years older. You'll often hear men that date younger women use the line "she's mature for her age" but really they are just comparing to themselves or the perceived maturity of that age.
 

Llyranor

Member
I know this, is dating age, not relationship age, but whatever..
she angrily presented to me a big list (around 20 points) of things she hates about me.
I'll just say this... Woodrow Wilson only had 14 points during his peace negotiations to end the biggest war the world had ever seen at the time.
 
Three days ago I had a big fight over whatsapp with my girlfriend,

Avoid getting into text based arguments with girlfriends, it never ends well. let her have the last word and ignore everything afterwards

Should I try to get her back, or would this be lame (after me splitting up with her?)?

Never go back. Don't be afraid of being alone or having to find someone new

She split up with me like three times in the beginning of our relationship when she was unsure about us, regretted it and came back to me each time.

Case in point, if you get back with her will anything really be different? No, you'll just repeat the cycle. wasting time in your life instead of someone you are suited to.

Not sure what to do..

Find someone new, but apply her 20 (!?) complaints as feedback of stuff to do/no do for your next girlfriend.
 
Very scientific. How about men?
Jokes on you, we never reach adulthood ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I know this, is dating age, not relationship age, but whatever..

Three days ago I had a big fight over whatsapp with my girlfriend, in which she angrily presented to me a big list (around 20 points) of things she hates about me.

..
10-Things-I-Hate-About-You-Movie-Poster-800x1200.jpg
 

vern

Member
I do, I'm just over the border in "Little Hong Kong" and can confirm that what situation you posted it pretty much the case.

You are lucky. Guangdong has the best girls in china. Besides dongbei, yunnan and xinjiang of course. Oh and shaanxi 😍🔥... and sichuan, and Anhui ... ah nevermind.
 
You are lucky. Guangdong has the best girls in china. Besides dongbei, yunnan and xinjiang of course. Oh and shaanxi ����... and sichuan, and Anhui ... ah nevermind.

I know, I played for some time then married to a Guangdong woman. Shenzhen/Donnguan are great as all the people migrate here for work so you can get a taste of all of China on your doorstep.
 

vern

Member
I know, I played for some time then married to a Guangdong woman. Shenzhen/Donnguan are great as all the people migrate here for work so you can get a taste of all of China on your doorstep.

会说粤语吗?他们说的时候听起来很吵的小鸟😂 I can't get used to it. Reminds me of Thai girls. Guangdong girls are hot but that language turns me away. I like the rough sounds of 普通话 haha.
 
I know this, is dating age, not relationship age, but whatever..

Three days ago I had a big fight over whatsapp with my girlfriend, in which she angrily presented to me a big list (around 20 points) of things she hates about me.

Mostly stuff about how I don't care enough about her, or that I do not appreciate her the way she feels I should appreciate her. Also, she accuses me of not taking her opinions on things seriously, or not even asking her. and making plans for both of us and not asking her about it, and she just follows along (she doesn't object to these plans either, or proposes own ones, I have to add).

I argued that I did a lot of good things to her (which I really think I did. Just not in the capacity she wanted).

So I went kind of angry after she wrote all of that stuff in quite a rude tone, and split up with her, because of this an the fact that we have big arguments over stuff like once a month..

Off course, after these few days, now, I regret this and feel sorry.
Should I try to get her back, or would this be lame (after me splitting up with her?)? She split up with me like three times in the beginning of our relationship when she was unsure about us, regretted it and came back to me each time.

Not sure what to do..

Eurostep right around that bullshit and dunk into a new relationshop lololol

Seriously. 20 things I hate about you? You gon go back to that?
 
会说粤语吗?他们说的时候听起来很吵的小鸟😂 I can't get used to it. Reminds me of Thai girls. Guangdong girls are hot but that language turns me away. I like the rough sounds of 普通话 haha.

I don't like it either sounds sharp like Cantonese. She speaks near perfect English so it's not a problem, but it's stunted my Chinese speaking as I'm not forced to use it unlike my previous girlfriends. 他妈的.
 
'member when people used to have some self respect and wouldn't put up with someone literally listing every single thing they hate about their partner.

The whole relationship sounds like a nightmare that you invested far too much time into. That's where the regret over the breakup is coming from. Don't go back to her, don't try to mend bridges. You go back after that list and she'll have zero respect for you going forward.
 

vypek

Member
'member when people used to have some self respect and wouldn't put up with someone literally listing every single thing they hate about their partner.

The whole relationship sounds like a nightmare that you invested far too much time into. That's where the regret over the breakup is coming from. Don't go back to her, don't try to mend bridges. You go back after that list and she'll have zero respect for you going forward.

And that'll probably be item #21 on the list.

"No self respect" or "Easily manipulated/influenced"

Everyone is right. You made the right decision leaving. Don't go back.
 
'
The whole relationship sounds like a nightmare that you invested far too much time into. That's where the regret over the breakup is coming from. Don't go back to her, don't try to mend bridges. You go back after that list and she'll have zero respect for you going forward.

That's not the whole story though...
The other times, when we don't have arguments, she is a super nice person to be around. I can talk for hours with her. We have had great times hanging out with mutual friends. She is one of the prettiest women I have ever been with. Plus, I am having the best sex of my life with her (had a couple of longer term relationships already and lots of shorter sexual experiences and affairs with other women.). She is a good person normally. And, I love her like crazy. ;)

The thing is, she is usually behaving too nice, doesn't want to say any bad thing, and then everything gets cooked up at once, like a volcano that explodes. Usually once per month when she has her PMS.

But this time she really went too far.
 

deleted

Member
Just need to vent a little:

Met a girl during work, we liked each other, but it turns out she's living a few hours away from me. She looks me up on social media and we begin talking. Meet after a while, we keep writing, met again, she spent the night the next time we meet.

By now it's pretty clear that this might not be a simple flirt thing, but we might both be interested in a relationship kinda thing. Which is the moment this is beginning to fall apart for me. We share similar interests, humor, are compatible physically and we genuinely seem to like each other. But I won't change locations for her. My mother has a muscle sickness and I can't/won't move further away (it's 3 hours already and I'm there regularly- this would make it 6 at least). She's also very involved with her family and I guess she won't move closer in the foreseeable future (years). There's also an age difference and my timetable sucks - especially over summer. We'll be able to see each other maybe once a month, most likely less.

She's made relatively clear, that she doesn't want to have a pure physically based relationship that doesn't go deeper. I kind of agreed (not to a realtionship, but that I primarily want to get to know her and not just fuck her) and then got thinking about all the stuff above and where that'll lead. We'll see each other again tomorrow and normally we haven't talked about anything too serious yet, apart from the normal getting to know each other. So I'm gonna initiate an earnest heart to heart tomorrow and while I don't want to go into that talk with a predetermined opinion, I'm relatively sure that it'll be the last time I'll see her - if she want's a long distance relationship with an undisclosed future, I can't give her that and I'm pretty sure she's not up for less.
Which sucks, because I really like her. I hate these kind of talks. For some reason, I've met several girls that I would love to get in a relationship with, but they all live too far away.
I really have to immediatly make sure that it's understood both ways that there won't be a long distance relationship. Been there, won't do it again.
 
And that'll probably be item #21 on the list.

"No self respect" or "Easily manipulated/influenced"

funny-face.gif


That's not the whole story though...
The other times, when we don't have arguments, she is a super nice person to be around. LA LA LA LA...

Do you know how many times I've heard this from people (usually women) that have been in abusive relationships? The "their really nice when nobody's around/most of the time" justification. You do know can have all of those positive things with someone else without the emotional abuse and drama?

You can take the easy road and go back to that cycle or you can have some confidence and self respect to end it and better yourself.

It's your choice, you do you.
 
Going to see a harry potter concert next week.

Not only does she know what house she's in (ravenclaw) but she knows what ilvermorney house she's in too (horned serpant)
 

Peltz

Member
That's not the whole story though...
The other times, when we don't have arguments, she is a super nice person to be around. I can talk for hours with her. We have had great times hanging out with mutual friends. She is one of the prettiest women I have ever been with. Plus, I am having the best sex of my life with her (had a couple of longer term relationships already and lots of shorter sexual experiences and affairs with other women.). She is a good person normally. And, I love her like crazy. ;)

The thing is, she is usually behaving too nice, doesn't want to say any bad thing, and then everything gets cooked up at once, like a volcano that explodes. Usually once per month when she has her PMS.

But this time she really went too far.

Jerk off and move on.

Just need to vent a little:

Met a girl during work, we liked each other, but it turns out she's living a few hours away from me. She looks me up on social media and we begin talking. Meet after a while, we keep writing, met again, she spent the night the next time we meet.

By now it's pretty clear that this might not be a simple flirt thing, but we might both be interested in a relationship kinda thing. Which is the moment this is beginning to fall apart for me. We share similar interests, humor, are compatible physically and we genuinely seem to like each other. But I won't change locations for her. My mother has a muscle sickness and I can't/won't move further away (it's 3 hours already and I'm there regularly- this would make it 6 at least). She's also very involved with her family and I guess she won't move closer in the foreseeable future (years). There's also an age difference and my timetable sucks - especially over summer. We'll be able to see each other maybe once a month, most likely less.

She's made relatively clear, that she doesn't want to have a pure physically based relationship that doesn't go deeper. I kind of agreed (not to a realtionship, but that I primarily want to get to know her and not just fuck her) and then got thinking about all the stuff above and where that'll lead. We'll see each other again tomorrow and normally we haven't talked about anything too serious yet, apart from the normal getting to know each other. So I'm gonna initiate an earnest heart to heart tomorrow and while I don't want to go into that talk with a predetermined opinion, I'm relatively sure that it'll be the last time I'll see her - if she want's a long distance relationship with an undisclosed future, I can't give her that and I'm pretty sure she's not up for less.
Which sucks, because I really like her. I hate these kind of talks. For some reason, I've met several girls that I would love to get in a relationship with, but they all live too far away.
I really have to immediatly make sure that it's understood both ways that there won't be a long distance relationship. Been there, won't do it again.

See my advice above. That goes for you too.
 
That's not the whole story though...
The other times, when we don't have arguments, she is a super nice person to be around. I can talk for hours with her. We have had great times hanging out with mutual friends. She is one of the prettiest women I have ever been with. Plus, I am having the best sex of my life with her (had a couple of longer term relationships already and lots of shorter sexual experiences and affairs with other women.). She is a good person normally. And, I love her like crazy. ;)

The thing is, she is usually behaving too nice, doesn't want to say any bad thing, and then everything gets cooked up at once, like a volcano that explodes. Usually once per month when she has her PMS.

But this time she really went too far.

Naw don't be dumb. You out, find someone who will only list like 5 things they don't like about you.
 
Dating Age |OT7| Jerk off before making a relationship decision.

Words to live by.

I semi-dated a girl with a high sex drive who was down for it anytime, basically, but she was bad bad bad news for me. (Like abuse-ish bad news.) The way I weaned myself off her was every time I thought about contacting her I rubbed one out. And immediately after I realized I didn't actually want to contact her, I just wanted to get laid.

Don't underestimate the power of masturbation. It could save your life.
 
Around the same age. It varies person to person for both sexes. But I'd say that's the average age when a person's career trajectory, habits, lifestyle, and life-goals start to take shape and become observable to others.

At 18-20, you have no idea what the person will become. At 25, you still don't completely know, but you have a better idea and more of an established track record.

The chance a person will undergo major behavioral changes once they reach 18-20 is like 90%. By 25, it's like 10%-15%.

Nonsense. I've dated plenty of girls in that younger range, they all have their shit together more than I did at that age, or they're on a tragectory to get something done. But as Vern said, they ain't ready to get married and just wanna have a good time. When you're baller as fuck like me (who had 3 different careers since I was 18, the latest beginning at 35), that's the life I wanna live.

Sequel to the 90s classic.
Let's not forget that you fall in love with every one of those girls :D

I'll just say this... Woodrow Wilson only had 14 points during his peace negotiations to end the biggest war the world had ever seen at the time.

I'm sure he had at least 20 things to say about hitler tho
Going to see a harry potter concert next week.

Not only does she know what house she's in (ravenclaw) but she knows what ilvermorney house she's in too (horned serpant)
that's a deal breaker for me. eww
 

WolfeTone

Member
I mostly date younger girls too. I'm not moving around like Vern and Zackie, but I enjoy the more carefree approach to dating. I've no interest in marriage or a long-term relationship of any kind. Can't say I've noticed much difference in maturity levels between the 18-22 year olds and the 23-30 year olds. They're simply at different stages of their lives career and education-wise mostly. Don't let someone having a job instead of being in school trick you into thinking they're more mature.

Only issue is that younger girls like to text and snap and instagram way too much and I don't have time for all that shit.
 
That's not the whole story though...
The other times, when we don't have arguments, she is a super nice person to be around. I can talk for hours with her. We have had great times hanging out with mutual friends. She is one of the prettiest women I have ever been with. Plus, I am having the best sex of my life with her (had a couple of longer term relationships already and lots of shorter sexual experiences and affairs with other women.). She is a good person normally. And, I love her like crazy. ;)

The thing is, she is usually behaving too nice, doesn't want to say any bad thing, and then everything gets cooked up at once, like a volcano that explodes. Usually once per month when she has her PMS.

But this time she really went too far.

I could tell you you're just looking for reasons to excuse her shitty behaviour, I could tell you what you're doing is what people in abusive relationships do, but it won't do any good if you don't believe you deserve better.

So you can forgive her, go back to her, hope she takes you back and changes or you can realise this isn't a healthy relationship and there are any number of other women who have the same positives you mentioned without having to worry about them being abusive.
 

deleted

Member
Jerk off and move on.

See my advice above. That goes for you too.

Yeah, maybe. Getting a bit tired of moving on though.

If you're not willing to budge then you need to start looking for someone closer to home. Get on the dating apps and use a small radius.

Well, duh :p Been there, done that. I live right in the vicinity of an airport though and in a city where people travel a bit to work, so that's a bit harder than it seems.

And I didn't have a match with someone I find really interesting for a long time. Worked better in real live for the last year. But yeah, I'll keep trying.
 

Peltz

Member
Yeah, maybe. Getting a bit tired of moving on though.

Relationships aren't real unless there is an element of practicality to them. Long distance things can work but only if you are willing to seriously work at them. It sounds like you aren't so the decision is really simple. Stop getting down on yourself about it and being all negative and shit. It's the wrong attitude to have and it's not going to do you any good.
 
I know this, is dating age, not relationship age, but whatever..

Three days ago I had a big fight over whatsapp with my girlfriend, in which she angrily presented to me a big list (around 20 points) of things she hates about me.

Mostly stuff about how I don't care enough about her, or that I do not appreciate her the way she feels I should appreciate her. Also, she accuses me of not taking her opinions on things seriously, or not even asking her. and making plans for both of us and not asking her about it, and she just follows along (she doesn't object to these plans either, or proposes own ones, I have to add).

I argued that I did a lot of good things to her (which I really think I did. Just not in the capacity she wanted).

So I went kind of angry after she wrote all of that stuff in quite a rude tone, and split up with her, because of this an the fact that we have big arguments over stuff like once a month..

Off course, after these few days, now, I regret this and feel sorry.
Should I try to get her back, or would this be lame (after me splitting up with her?)? She split up with me like three times in the beginning of our relationship when she was unsure about us, regretted it and came back to me each time.

Not sure what to do..

635946060458393460938326480_dd6434_b0af6d4c098547128a9e6420987e70e3.jpg

just got a sequel!

That's not the whole story though...
The other times, when we don't have arguments, she is a super nice person to be around. I can talk for hours with her. We have had great times hanging out with mutual friends. She is one of the prettiest women I have ever been with. Plus, I am having the best sex of my life with her (had a couple of longer term relationships already and lots of shorter sexual experiences and affairs with other women.). She is a good person normally. And, I love her like crazy. ;)

The thing is, she is usually behaving too nice, doesn't want to say any bad thing, and then everything gets cooked up at once, like a volcano that explodes. Usually once per month when she has her PMS.

But this time she really went too far.

All this constant dropping of "nice" makes you sound like an abuse victim, you realise that, right?

Bro, don't grovel back after you made the split. Stick to a decision and find someone better, or at least where it's more mutual than this constant on/off stuff you've had going since the very start.
 

deleted

Member
Relationships aren't real unless there is an element of practicality to them. Long distance things can work but only if you are willing to seriously work at them. It sounds like you aren't so the decision is really simple. Stop getting down on yourself about it and being all negative and shit. It's the wrong attitude to have and it's not going to do you any good.

Yeah, that's life, I know. I'm just down for the moment though, I know that things will get better over the next few days/weeks. Tomorrow I clear things up, after that, summer is waiting. But today I look a little melancholic towards the talk to come.
 
That's not the whole story though...
The other times, when we don't have arguments, she is a super nice person to be around. I can talk for hours with her. We have had great times hanging out with mutual friends. She is one of the prettiest women I have ever been with. Plus, I am having the best sex of my life with her (had a couple of longer term relationships already and lots of shorter sexual experiences and affairs with other women.). She is a good person normally. And, I love her like crazy. ;)

The thing is, she is usually behaving too nice, doesn't want to say any bad thing, and then everything gets cooked up at once, like a volcano that explodes. Usually once per month when she has her PMS.

But this time she really went too far.

This really sound like my ex-gf. Just gtfo of there and don't ever return, man, she will poison you. Even if you go back with her it's just a matter of time until this happen again. Anyone is nice when you see them in their best, you have to see how they are in their worst to realise how they really are as a whole.

She doesn't respect you, and if you go back with her she'll know that she can do whatever she wants with you. Move on.
 
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