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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Peltz said:
I mean... don't be a piece of shit on purpose either. Just let your niceness/shittiness flow naturally.
Click to expand...

Well yeah, there is a difference between being a "nice guy" and being genuine about the kindness you portray. I don't treat people badly at all because everyone deserves to be treated with respect. I don't have to fake anything, I don't treat women any differently than I treat guys. No one gets put on a pedestal but everyone is treated well.

None of that makes me more dateable, it just means I don't suck lol.

LucidMomentum said:
There's a great couple of articles on this exact idea lol.

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/problem-nice-guys/

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/being-a-nice-guy-isnt-good-enough/

A lot of guys think just being normal and well adjusted and not a sexual predator means they're owed dates.

You gotta make yourself, oh I dunnow, interesting enough to date. Don't just be average and a decent human being and expect a prize for it.

Like, I can be an asshole sometimes. I can be curt, I tend to get frustrated when plans go differently than I expected, I tend to multitask and sometimes people have trouble keeping up, and I remember stuff most people wouldn't so I've had to tell people when they've told me the same story for the dozenth time.

But I own that and I apologize if it gets awkward or I hurt someone's feelings. But I don't bend over backwards to try and seem "nice" or change my self image just to try and hope that someone will date me or let me spend the night. If it's not the real me it's not worth it.
Click to expand...

Pretty much. Not trying to win the nice olympics here. Just trying to do me and make sure I am also keeping it real with people.

Being nice is great but like so what? A lot of other things matter besides "I am nice". I have met a lot of nice girls, I don't date them on the basis of just being nice. I wouldn't expect they do that either.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
1ot3v2.jpg
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Messofanego said:
Long story for Leeness from wanting to get a boyfriend to giving up entirely and just wanting platonic relationships with men. It's been going on for 6 years now, so you have a lot to catch up on your own time :p

I'm surprised no one made the Friendship GAF megathread yet.
Click to expand...

It's because most of the people that want that kind of thread don't know how to make the OP >.>

Including me lololol

Also what Starlightmuse said
 
M

M52B28

Banned
Some strange shit.

Some older women I know started making a bunch of sexual jokes and innuendos towards me and were laughing at me for being speechless and shaking their head at them.

I go to work on my work and one woman low-key smacks my ass.

On top of this, I got into a pretty audible argument with the woman I've been enamored with. She got mad at me because I never fully explain what is on my mind. This all started when I asked her a personal question while we were sitting and waiting for kiln operation. She didn't want to answer me, so I kept asking her why, then she pointed out how I make her feel like shit when I don't tell her what I'm thinking a lot of the time we're together, then she says "Now you know how it feels." after I realized arguing was useless and admitting that I was wrong.

I feel like shit because I heard all of the other folks in the other room go silent and start talking about what happened. I go to take care of some errands and I come back unexpectedly to grab my phone to her and another women talking about me.

Their faces explained that they were caught off guard because they both nervously smiled.

Man, I hate arguing, especially at public places.

Today was like nothing happened. We were all over each other and we were back to where we once were.

I'm just pissed about the whole argument. It just seemed unnecessary and she did it out of spite, especially after I mentioned to her to not be spiteful.
 
Sakura

Sakura

Member
always crazy bacon said:
"She knows how I feel without the risk of rejection by me saying" mating call of the forever single 28YO Canadian living in "easy dating mode" Japan but still can't get a girlfriend.




http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=232154931

http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=207684273

What's it going to take to wake you up to the fact that you're doing it all wrong and that's why you are still single. Your shit don't work, will never work and your just shielding yourself with delusions rather than introspection about what you need to change on your approach with woman to be successful.

The most pityfull thing I've seen is guys like you that come over to SE Asia (where I am, 1st hand observational experience) and still fail hard when It's Likely one of the most accessible place to date women as a foreigner. Guys like you fail because they bring all thier failed techniques and delusions with them and expect them to work.

Listen to your own advice.

http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=155456083

please don't with the predictable "digging though my post history defence"
Click to expand...

Nah I don't mind you digging through my post history it's cool man.
I don't really have any delusions, I'm pretty confident it won't work, but like I said, whatever, at the worst it is experience.
For me personally though, I came to Japan for school, not to pick up girls. There is a girl I like, so I spend my focus on her. I don't think it's that weird. It's not like I am spending time on her at the expense of spending time with other girls.
And I do listen to my own advice. I am trying to change. I've never gone out with a girl anywhere before, but in the past year I have with multiple girls (western girls too). I'm not the kind of guy that would go to parties or events, but recently I have been so that I can meet people. I've been trying to think about my appearance more and improve my personal image, and I've been trying to improve my personality as well (though this is kind of harder).
What I want to say is, that I am trying, and yea, maybe it isn't working out so well for me yet, but I still feel like I am in a better place than I was before.
 
F

Fox_Mulder

Rockefellers. Skull and Bones. Microsoft. Al Qaeda. A Cabal of Bankers. The melting point of steel. What do these things have in common? Wake up sheeple, the landfill wasn't even REAL!
nothing
 
G

gaiages

Banned
2Smashed4U said:
Fuck it, I need it right now, I'll do it.

What needs to be/should be in it?
Click to expand...

lol! I'm not sure

I guess just a primer on how to talk to people, maybe places where it's easy to find groups of people with similar interests (Meetup, school clubs, Facebook events/groups), detail some friend meeting apps (can't do most of them myself because they are typically available in only in metropolises), general tips, etc

A lot of dating advice can be applicable to friendships, but definitely not all (like it's not the biggest deal if you go a while without talking to someone sometimes lol)

That's just my cursory take. I can't really help with the details, and I'm sure if you made an OP you can get some posters to help you out with refinements/maybe even articles and sources you can quote and link.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
Last night was game night.


The host is a childhood friend of my best friend. I told him about what has been happening. His response “Fuck him”.

I guess roommate routinely treat that friend’s girlfriend rudely. The friend’s advice is basically never introduce her to my best friend, because he’ll make her feel like shit.


Me: “I just want him on my team…”
Him: “I did too.”


This sucks
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Megalosaro said:
Last night was game night.


The host is a childhood friend of my best friend. I told him about what has been happening. His response “Fuck him”.

I guess roommate routinely treat that friend’s girlfriend rudely. The friend’s advice is basically never introduce her to my best friend, because he’ll make her feel like shit.


Me: “I just want him on my team…”
Him: “I did too.”


This sucks
Click to expand...

Well we already told you what needed to be done!
 
artsi

artsi

Member
A small thing and it might sound silly, but I'm legit impressed.
We talked yesterday about meeting tonight with the 22yo and she just called me to confirm the plans.

She actually called me. I've dated a fuck ton of girls and none of them ever call at this stage of dating. It's just whatsapp and snapchat and blah blah blah.

Can I marry her already?
 
L

Llyranor

Member
Megalosaro said:
Last night was game night.


The host is a childhood friend of my best friend. I told him about what has been happening. His response “Fuck him”.

I guess roommate routinely treat that friend’s girlfriend rudely. The friend’s advice is basically never introduce her to my best friend, because he’ll make her feel like shit.


Me: “I just want him on my team…”
Him: “I did too.”


This sucks
Click to expand...
Your best friend is jealous and wants you.
 
R

Ridisc

Banned
Posted this in another thread, curious what you guys think?

Last girl i went o na few dates with almost refused to talk more than a few sentences, despite my best efforts to ask questions and engage in conversation, I remember thinking after about half hour that I have no idea how to handle this situation other than to just fill the time talking about myself, which was frankly super boring for me because thats not what I am here for. I assumed that she was just not super interested if she wasnt actively engaged in the conversation, so after the initial meeting (We met in a cake shop, cake was good), I decided to say I enjoyed the meeting and had not planned to stay past the initial (Though if it went well I would have gladly proceeded for a walk/another destination). Leave, go to the train station to make my way home and get a message "Had a really great time, you were very entertaining, want to meet again next week?". So I am genuinely perplexed and decided to just come out and say I was a bit concerned that she didnt speak much to which she replied nerves, she would be far more open on a second date.

We meet for a second date a few days later ,this time for dinner, exactly the same situation.

Im not going to say its happened a lot but I have been on more than a few dates with women where the entirety of the conversation is one sided because, if not, there would be no conversation.

In lieue of asking questions and not getting responses that lead to further conversation, is there any legitimate way to get someone into a conversation they dont appear to be taking part in?

artsi said:
A small thing and it might sound silly, but I'm legit impressed.
We talked yesterday about meeting tonight with the 22yo and she just called me to confirm the plans.

She actually called me. I've dated a fuck ton of girls and none of them ever call at this stage of dating. It's just whatsapp and snapchat and blah blah blah.

Can I marry her already?
Click to expand...

I have found this too, ive even met resistance when asking people prior to dates (From online) if we can talk over skype or on a call, I thought it was a good way to break a few nerves, see if we can carry a conversation in real time, but nearly every woman ive suggested it to has said that would make them uncomfortable so ive stopped suggesting.
 
A

animax

Member
Ridisc said:
Posted this in another thread, curious what you guys think?
...
Click to expand...

She could just be very shy but:

are you asking her questions that prompt more involved responses?
are you talking about topics that she can relate to?
for every topic you talk about you should bat it back to her...."what about you?"
Ask her for the story of her life from childhood to how she ended up here. You can interject at points to discuss deeper into topics and then put her back on track to continue her story.

It's also of course a matter of her being comfortable with you, which can come over time. If none of the above works and she's still not comfortable and talking much then you might just have to cut her loose and put it down to non-compatability
 
T

timetokill

Banned
Yeah the girl I'm dating literally texted me to "refrain from calling" because it gives her anxiety to talk on the phone. I was calling just because there was a question that I had re: our class together that seemed easier to explain on the phone, but whatevs.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
timetokill said:
Yeah the girl I'm dating literally texted me to "refrain from calling" because it gives her anxiety to talk on the phone. I was calling just because there was a question that I had re: our class together that seemed easier to explain on the phone, but whatevs.
Click to expand...
That's weird. Has she ever called by anyone? It just seems she doesn't want to call you. Maybe you cause her anxiety lol
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Megalosaro said:
Last night was game night.


The host is a childhood friend of my best friend. I told him about what has been happening. His response “Fuck him”.

I guess roommate routinely treat that friend’s girlfriend rudely. The friend’s advice is basically never introduce her to my best friend, because he’ll make her feel like shit.


Me: “I just want him on my team…”
Him: “I did too.”


This sucks
Click to expand...

Jealousy is a bitch. I propose you find a new roommate.

Brotha doesn't need to be on your team. But he shouldn't be the fucking opponent either.

timetokill said:
Yeah the girl I'm dating literally texted me to "refrain from calling" because it gives her anxiety to talk on the phone. I was calling just because there was a question that I had re: our class together that seemed easier to explain on the phone, but whatevs.
Click to expand...

This is dumb. I can now safely say that the sex better be worth it man cause this girl is totally not serious nor has much intention of being serious with you.
 
T

timetokill

Banned
Messofanego said:
That's weird. Has she ever called by anyone? It just seems she doesn't want to call you. Maybe you cause her anxiety lol
Click to expand...

Eh, she didn't mind texting with me right after. She said phone calls give her "extreme discomfort" and I know she has social anxiety so I bought it.
She explained later that she only makes phone calls when it's work-related. But hey, maybe I do lol. I can relate, I hate phone calls too. Regardless we made plans to get dinner pretty much right after so I don't think she was making it up.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Ridisc said:
Posted this in another thread, curious what you guys think?

Last girl i went o na few dates with almost refused to talk more than a few sentences, despite my best efforts to ask questions and engage in conversation, I remember thinking after about half hour that I have no idea how to handle this situation other than to just fill the time talking about myself, which was frankly super boring for me because thats not what I am here for. I assumed that she was just not super interested if she wasnt actively engaged in the conversation, so after the initial meeting (We met in a cake shop, cake was good), I decided to say I enjoyed the meeting and had not planned to stay past the initial (Though if it went well I would have gladly proceeded for a walk/another destination). Leave, go to the train station to make my way home and get a message "Had a really great time, you were very entertaining, want to meet again next week?". So I am genuinely perplexed and decided to just come out and say I was a bit concerned that she didnt speak much to which she replied nerves, she would be far more open on a second date.

We meet for a second date a few days later ,this time for dinner, exactly the same situation.

Im not going to say its happened a lot but I have been on more than a few dates with women where the entirety of the conversation is one sided because, if not, there would be no conversation.

In lieue of asking questions and not getting responses that lead to further conversation, is there any legitimate way to get someone into a conversation they dont appear to be taking part in?
Click to expand...

You may have to phrase the questions in ways where 1 or 2 sentences cant really explain. Or just keep diving for more explanation. Tbh I would try one more time making a really strong effort to push a convo and if you get nothing then it isn't going anywhere.

I know some people take longer to come out of their shell but this is dating and they need to accept that if you aren't gonna reciprocate then people cant be expected to wait forever
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
timetokill said:
Eh, she didn't mind texting with me right after. She said phone calls give her "extreme discomfort" and I know she has social anxiety so I bought it.
She explained later that she only makes phone calls when it's work-related. But hey, maybe I do lol. I can relate, I hate phone calls too. Regardless we made plans to get dinner pretty much right after so I don't think she was making it up.
Click to expand...
Does she have trust issues? I get slight discomfort from making calls but when it comes down to it, I'll still make the call when it's important to do so. Maybe she should seek therapy about that.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Messofanego said:
That's weird. Has she ever called by anyone? It just seems she doesn't want to call you. Maybe you cause her anxiety lol
Click to expand...

Phone anxiety is a very common thing, actually.

You know all those annoying peeps that refuse to call the pizza place? Phone anxiety. Or those that go through the tedious process to type out a looooong text that would have been easier to call about? Probably phone anxiety.

Thank God for apps

Just because people call you doesn't mean you wanna call them

Messofanego said:
Does she have trust issues? I get slight discomfort from making calls but when it comes down to it, I'll still make the call when it's important to do so. Maybe she should seek therapy about that.
Click to expand...

Woah there, don't you think that's an extreme reaction to that, lol? Sometimes texting is easier than talking on the phone anyway. With the way technology is nowadays this shouldn't be a shock to anyone
 
S

Starlightmuse

Member
Megalosaro said:
Girl wanted me to meet at her apartment gym today to work out with her.

That would have been fun...

I didn't bring my gym clothes though
Click to expand...

My condolences for the non-sex.

Megaloraso your best friend is an asshole. Find another roonmate so at least he's not able to fuck your sentimental life.
 
T

timetokill

Banned
Messofanego said:
Does she have trust issues? I get slight discomfort from making calls but when it comes down to it, I'll still make the call when it's important to do so. Maybe she should seek therapy about that.
Click to expand...

I don't think she does. But seriously I didn't know the phone thing was gonna be such a big thing, I feel like every other girl I talk to doesn't want to use the phone, only text. I would imagine going forward that more and more people in general will feel this way because text doesn't require an immediate response and kids typically prefer to communicate that way with each other because it's private and you can craft your responses. I mean I don't like getting calls either, and if I have to order food for instance I'd much rather do it over the internet than call, even if calling would be faster.
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
timetokill said:
I don't think she does. But seriously I didn't know the phone thing was gonna be such a big thing, I feel like every other girl I talk to doesn't want to use the phone, only text. I would imagine going forward that more and more people in general will feel this way because text doesn't require an immediate response and kids typically prefer to communicate that way with each other because it's private and you can craft your responses. I mean I don't like getting calls either, and if I have to order food for instance I'd much rather do it over the internet than call, even if calling would be faster.
Click to expand...

Talking on the phone is becoming a lost art?

I remember when that was the only way to communicate with a partner. You'd spend hours talking about nothing, talking about shows you were sync watching, sucks some people won't experience that.

Phone sex in those days was dangerous as fuck too...would a parent pick up the other phone in the house and hear all the nasty shit being said. Those were the real danger wanks..
 
D

Disxo

Member
Megalosaro said:
Girl wanted me to meet at her apartment gym today to work out with her.

That would have been fun...

I didn't bring my gym clothes though
Click to expand...
Lmao you remind of the time I slept
(no sex just sleeping)
with a girl and did nothing cos I thought she was being nice.


Edit: Twice
 
S

Salamando

Member
I once had a girl suggest we get some drinks after we'd had dinner. "There's a bar near my place. You can park there and we'll walk over." My stupid-ass thought we were actually going to go to the bar.
 
Go_Ly_Dow

Go_Ly_Dow

Member
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4months now. It's all going good and I'd say we are very strong together.

I'm just curious how many days a week you all see your partners? Just looking for some perspective.
 
S

Salamando

Member
M_Night said:
Me and my other half have been together for 4months now. It's all going good.

I'm just curious how many days a week you all see your partners? Just looking for some perspective.
Click to expand...

Are you happy? Are things working out well for you? If so, don't ruin it by overthinking how much/little you see each other compared to others! All that matters is that your relationship is fulfilling to you.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
gaiages said:
Phone anxiety is a very common thing, actually.

You know all those annoying peeps that refuse to call the pizza place? Phone anxiety. Or those that go through the tedious process to type out a looooong text that would have been easier to call about? Probably phone anxiety.

Thank God for apps

Just because people call you doesn't mean you wanna call them



Woah there, don't you think that's an extreme reaction to that, lol? Sometimes texting is easier than talking on the phone anyway. With the way technology is nowadays this shouldn't be a shock to anyone
Click to expand...

Just because it's common, doesn't mean it's healthy. There are so many things people can get anxious about, but if you keep on avoiding the source of anxiety and not try to resolve it then nothing will get improved. If it's important information that needs to be exchanged and a phone call is advisable over a text, then the person should learn to pick up the phone. Go through some positive thinking exercises about the anxiety, like it's not going to kill me if I pick up the phone, what's the worst that can happen, etc. Again, stuff that therapy can help with rather than just accepting you have phone anxiety for the rest of your life and nothing can be done about it.
 
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