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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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L

Leeness

Member
gaiages said:
Oh yeah, H&M is a pretty good one! I forgot about that one. I buy the men's v necks there because the frigging neck line isn't all the way down to my damn cleavage and the sleeves are *actual* sleeves unlike women's shirts and their damn 'tiny flap of fabric' fake sleeves. Oh obviously the men's v necks will look good on men, too. >.>

They're reasonably priced too.
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Men's shirts huh? I can never find shirts at H&M, I always go with the oversized sweaters look.

Also, I completed a 14km hike yesterday! First time, felt really nice 😊
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
gaiages said:
I'm guessing you know your size there already or something?
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Actually no. Last time I was at Gap I had to try stuff on and I don't have that kind of time today cause I have to be back home by 6:30 today and hopefully get one of my dang apartment rooms sold off to someone so I can half stop panicking about that one so somebody will have to PM the shit out of me tomorrow so I can remember to buy a new shirt.
 
A

Astral

Member
JadedWriter said:
Actually no. Last time I was at Gap I had to try stuff on and I don't have that kind of time today cause I have to be back home by 6:30 today and hopefully get one of my dang apartment rooms sold off to someone so I can half stop panicking about that one so somebody will have to PM the shit out of me tomorrow so I can remember to buy a new shirt.
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Dude nooo. Just go in and buy a single shirt. A t shirt even. They don't take long to try on. It'll take like 29 minutes.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Astral said:
Dude nooo. Just go in and buy a single shirt. A t shirt even. They don't take long to try on. It'll take like 29 minutes.
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My commute is almost an hour long and the roommate hustle takes priority so I don't get thrown out of my apartment at the end of June because I couldn't find two additional people to sign my lease.
reece.jpg

Can't fill your closet, if you don't have one.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
Stores that can fuck off

Nordstroms
Forever 21
Armani Exchange (though I'm just jealous cause I can't pull it off lol )
Bloomingdale

Jaded, where do you live? If you are in LA county, we could meet up and, go shopping
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Megalosaro said:
Stores that can fuck off

Nordstroms
Forever 21
Armani Exchange (though I'm just jealous cause I can't pull it off lol )
Bloomingdale

Jaded, where do you live? If you are in LA county, we could meet up and, go shopping
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Brooklyn NYC. Shit if anybody can spare the time and drag me kicking and screaming to buy $150 worth of clothing then the invitation is open to anybody since I barely have any idea what the heck I'd even look good in.
 
L

Lulubop

Member
You can find good stuff for cheap at thrift stores in nyc. Also jcrewfactory is pretty fucking cheap and has a lot of good stuff. Banana and jcrew usually do deep discounts too.

Uniqlo and h&m are everywhere in nyc, come on now.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
JadedWriter said:
True, though I really do just need a new damn wardrobe period.
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Nah, that's a bad idea. Go one outfit at a time. Focus on a good looking outfit. Maybe two.

I tried the wardrobe overhaul approach once. Bought a ton of shit I wore once because I thought it looked cool at the store, but wore it in the wild and felt like a jackass.

timetokill said:
Damn next time I'm in LA I'm gonna go shop with Megalosaro
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I'd be down. I don't want to misrepresent myself. I am far from fashionable. But I know how to not look like an idiot.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Megalosaro said:
Nah, that's a bad idea. Go one outfit at a time. Focus on a good looking outfit. Maybe two.

I tried the wardrobe overhaul approach once. Bought a ton of shit I wore once because I thought it looked cool at the store, but wore it in the wild and felt like a jackass.
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So I should get like a new outfit a week?
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Lulubop said:
You can find good stuff for cheap at thrift stores in nyc. Also jcrewfactory is pretty fucking cheap and has a lot of good stuff. Banana and jcrew usually do deep discounts too.

Uniqlo and handm are everywhere in nyc, come on now.
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Personally I never find anything of interest at Uniqlo as I've often left the store empty handed. I would add Century 21 as well even though tourists flood them these days and Macy's when they have solid deals. It helps having a Macy's credit card too to get bigger discounts. I'm due for a clothes shopping day soon including ordering new sneakers because my running shoes have been worn out and beat up by time. My jeans are torn in the crotch/leg area and some have a few permanent stains.

The paradox of choice article is spot on too because I often wear stuff to dates without putting much thought into it as a long as it smells clean. I have a crap ton of event shirts from doing cons and food events but I would never wear them on a date because it's overtly nerdy; they're gym shirts or shirts that I wear around the house.

One of my closer friends who's never been on a date before and is my age loves to dress nerdy because he's gone crazy for Overwatch stuff. He reminds me of a lot peeps in this thread. I've told him before that he needs to change that stuff but he's stubborn and never listens to reasoning so c'est le vie.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
JadedWriter said:
So I should get like a new outfit a week?
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Personally, if it was just about a dating outfit I'd buy them on a as-needed basis. You shouldn't need more than one outfit until you secure that second date.

Regular clothing though, I'd probably find one item I like, wear it to make sure it's free, and then see if I could get several variants of it.
 
H

Haloid1177

Banned
JadedWriter said:
So I should get like a new outfit a week?
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If your actual goal is planning to go out more, then I'd say that isn't a terrible idea. I know when I go out I'll probably end up buying three new outfits to give me a week's worth of "nice" clothes since vacations are coming up. But since your work is pretty lax I'd say buy two outfits to start and go from there, in cause you luck out with dates in quick succession and don't have the time to do laundry.
 
P

protomouse

Member
Wrote an invitation for coffee on a receipt, and she was reading it as I left (she works there). Not happy with the way I carried myself today (nervosity!), but I'm glad I followed through. Only thing I can do now is move forward with no expectations. If she calls, she calls. I can also say that this is the first and last time I'll do something like this, lol. Asking someone out at their place of work is fucking awkward, but I didn't want to just stand back and watch her pass by me, so to say :).
 
O

Oxn

Member
JadedWriter said:
So I should get like a new outfit a week?
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Dude im going to help you out.

First im not asking you to get your whole wardrobe changed overnight, but you need to change it entirely over time.

With that said and since you are on a budget, i suggest doing it slowly over time.

First thing, since you are starting new, get basic items. That mean nothing with graphics on them. Simple single color items, like T-shirts, long sleeve t-shirts, Henley, jeans, or chinos. Make sure everything is fitted (i know you are short and so am i, but if you are in shape for your height, get slim fit or even more fitted, dunno your figure), and try to get more neutral colored items, like black, white, grey. If you are feeling adventurous, maybe through in some color here and there, but not loud colors like pink, green, etc.

My suggestions for basic items, go to Gap, Uniqlo, even Old navy. Even Kohls, they have decent brands for cheap.

If you want to pay more, go Banana republic.

Lastly, i suggest trying the clothing on in store, but buy online. Especially for Gap and Old navy, they always have a online store code for 30-40% off.

need more help, you can PM me.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
I'm with Jhoam. Every time i've gone into Uniglo, I've never bought anything.

Just not my cup of tea I suppose.

I forgot about Kohls. I like them.
 
L

Llyranor

Member
Draconestra said:
That's what I'm so confused about! At first she was terrified of losing me, but I told her I was serious about asking her out and meant it. I told her I have real feelings for her. I wasn't beating around the bush or anything like that, I no longer had any time to keep shit vague on my end.

Now though, it seems like this previous fling is a problem, but I don't know why exactly. Other than the fact that I made her think I wasn't interested in her at the time, I have absolutely no clue what to make of it.

This is why I want to talk in person and clear things up, but I don't know how to proceed. I don't want to seem so godamn pushy and make it look like I want an answer "right now!", you know? Having to say "We need to talk" just sounds so negative and dreadful, and I don't like it but I know we need it.

I seriously like this girl a lot, but holy shit am I probably overthinking shit on my end. I definitely do not feel like my confident usual self, the one she always knows. Instead, I feel anxious and really strange because of all this uncertainty. My head is all over the place right now.
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If it doesn't work out because of a fling you had 2 months ago when you weren't dating her, it isn't going to work out anyway. She needs to deal with her insecurity/jealousy herself, there's only so much you can do to reassure without becoming a doormat/walking on eggshells.

Leeness said:
Also, I completed a 14km hike yesterday! First time, felt really nice 😊
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Impressive! I can't do that.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Spaced Harrier said:
Did you go to the shop?
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Tomorrow and berate me about it then accordingly I have to leave work now to meet somebody to show him two of the rooms in my apartment that are up for rent. I was quite serious about this. The quicker this gets sorted out the better I can prioritize going shopping. I wasn't joking about the severity of how much this is driving me crazy.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
Here is the plan for the week.

Thursday night: Casual night. Hang out, cuddle, watch a movie. She has a online bible study group around 8. Last Thursday I hung out with her during it.

Saturday: I can only hang out during the afternoon so I'm gonna take her to do some archery. Should be fun.

Monday: Our planned Pasadena date from last weekend. Memorial day so probably crowded. Hopefully it will be cooler.

If there is one area I feel I need to work on, it's spontineity. But as working adults, spontineity is a lot tougher.
 
M

Megalosaro

Banned
A word, Jaded. Don't neglect the importance of shoes.

They actually matter a lot more than you'd think.

I have a pair of Vans for casual, and rockports for more formal stuff.
 
S

SmackDaddy

Member
Megalosaro said:
Here is the plan for the week.

Thursday night: Casual night. Hang out, cuddle, watch a movie. She has a online bible study group around 8. Last Thursday I hung out with her during it.

Saturday: I can only hang out during the afternoon so I'm gonna take her to do some archery. Should be fun.

Monday: Our planned Pasadena date from last weekend. Memorial day so probably crowded. Hopefully it will be cooler.

If there is one area I feel I need to work on, it's spontineity. But as working adults, spontineity is a lot tougher.
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Shit yeah. Glad you guys are hanging out more. Archery is a dope idea.

And, to the above, a dating thread on gaf will always secretly be an anime fan makeover when you think about it.

My update: Sleepover last Wednesday, and date cancellation Saturday cuz she's tired. She's also been busy lately, and I've been initiating everything for the last week. Told her I want her to let me know when shes free, now I wait around. Not really feeling good though. It's actually really getting me down; this is the closest I've felt to someone in years. Our first few nights together were just perfect.

Started swiping again and called a girl the wrong name accidentally. She thought it was hilarious and now we're talking. The cycle continues
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
I'd say that going out and buying random "outfits" is doing it wrong. Think about the wardrobe as a whole, how you can mix and match properly, and get pieces that fit accordingly.
Good luck.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Megalosaro said:
A word, Jaded. Don't neglect the importance of shoes.

They actually matter a lot more than you'd think.

I have a pair of Vans for casual, and rockports for more formal stuff.
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That's going to require a next paycheck. I'm not paycheck to paycheck but that might have to wait till housing craziness is done. Also I'm flat footed so my feet are a bit shoe picky. Any in fashion New Balances that exist?
 
W

Widdle Puppy

Banned
Salamando said:
Have you met your friend in real life before? It sounds like you've turned her into a fantasy, and no human female can ever compare to a fantasy. I won't tell you what do with her - that should be your call. Do whatever you think is necessary to stop her from holding back your dating life.
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No, we live on opposite sides of the planet unfortunately. I haven't turned her into a fantasy but perhaps I am counting on something not likely to happen. I know it is not realistic.

always crazy bacon said:
Best friend = Online friend? Dude, you only like her because she's giving you attention. That and you are projecting onto her. The advice we give here is stop texting and set up a real date quickly so you can see if the online persona is a true refection of the real person.

Stop using her as a substitute relationship.
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Uh, no...

I like her because we've had some real deep conversation, talk daily on the phone and we've been supporting each other emotionally for a year. You do realize people other than online gamers use the internet? We both know each other very well and I'm also not projecting anything onto here. I'm just sad that we don't physically occupy the same area because I want more.

But I do agree, I should re-channel my energy and try to not rely on her as much, substituting our online friendship for an in person relationship.

I think I'm going to tell her that I want to pump the brakes a little and talk less.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
JadedWriter said:
That's going to require a next paycheck. I'm not paycheck to paycheck but that might have to wait till housing craziness is done. Also I'm flat footed so my feet are a bit shoe picky. Any in fashion New Balances that exist?
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No.

Sneakers are not shoes that you wear.

Get chukkas, Sperrys/Vans, and definitely some dressier ones - Cole Haan's my go-to - that you can pair with whatever, including jeans.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
timetokill said:
Gawdamn, $300 shoes :O
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Nah, I think my last pair was something like $150? So, not that bad, really.

Astral said:
Yo how do you stop your jeans from bleeding onto your white shoes? That's always been my problem when buying shoes.
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You can't. The jeans are meant to bunch a little and not have a break, so they're going to spill over regardless. I just can't picture dark wash jeans going well with white shoes. Gray, sure. Not white.
 
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