I just hate feeling like I was upstaged by someone, tho apparently he brought up relationship talk kinda face and that's what she didn't know she wanted. Yea, I'm a big upset. The physical was amazing, but she was also cool to hang out with. At the moment I can't promise anyway a relationship, or something serious for a few reason. At the end of the day though, I just like dating and meeting new people. Sad to see her go. She really wanted to remain friends but I'm not going to be friends with a girl I'm not hooking up with. Thats why I feel kinda scummy.
Anyway, I'm feeling better.
I'm telling you things for your own good: you have a very poor perspective on this. It's immature and self-defeating. And you should take a moment to really understand why you reacted the way you did to this and what role your ego is playing in how you choose to spend time with the opposite sex.
There's no such thing as being "upstaged" in dating. It's not a performance piece. It's all about trust and intimicacy. It's about bringing value to someone's life who brings value to your life. It's about having "no bullshit" honest conversations and interactions. It's not something that can be faked or "performed".
She chose someone else who she connects with better for whatever reason. You're not the be all end all of dating. Just accept that. There's nothing wrong with it.
If your dating to fulfill your ego or your sexuality (in the most one-dimensional sense) or to find self-worth, you're going to react exactly the way you did to rejection - poorly. You're going to take it as a personal slap in the face. And quite frankly, that is immature.
The correct response would be to feel genuinely happy for someone you care about if she found someone else who she really wanted to be with. It's a bittersweet feeling, yes, but it shouldn't be a negative one. You, on the other hand, take it as a personal insult. And that's wrong for your own sake. Seriously, you're only hurting yourself here.
You mentioned previously that you don't "do well" with sober first dates. Well, it's probably because you have a fear of genuine intimacy and feel like you need to "perform" to get women to like you. But girls see through that and it's not something that is going to make a girl want to commit.
If a girl chose someone else over you, all that means is her desires for intimacy were better served by the other person. She felt there were better "no bullshit" moments with them over you.
My advice would be, don't try. Unlike others in this thread, you're already good looking and can easily get a girl's attention. But you should practice just being comfortable in your own skin, not worrying about rejection, and allowing girls to see your "boring" or "lame" side that you may or may not be comfortable with.
When a girl sees you at your most ordinary, she'll decide if you're who she wants. And if the answer is "no" then you'll not feel bad if she's rejecting those inalienable ordinary things.
In other words,
practice self acceptance and stop giving a fuck if girls like you.
