JadedWriter
Member
I need to get a better sense of pacing and timing and not drown myself in thirst.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Subpar Scrub
Banned
Haha, yeah I'm not doing that. Maybe if it was some Ducatti Supersport or something, but it's just a CB300FA.
Hey guys, one of my friends in my (mixed) residence is stuck in the "Good guy zone", the dude is harming himself knowingly.
I usually dont care about what people do and feel about others, but he has been pretty open to me and he ticks all of the red flags.
I was talking to another friend and told him he has to suffer and learn, but he really disagreed.
Am I wrong?
I usually dont care about what people do and feel about others, but he has been pretty open to me and he ticks all of the red flags.
I was talking to another friend and told him he has to suffer and learn, but he really disagreed.
Am I wrong?
Your post is a bit vague, but if I'm understanding correctly, you're doing the right thing. Trying to convince your friend that his nice guy approach to finding a girlfriend will probably backfire on you.
There's always the risk that he might become frustrated and end up becoming a redpiller though so maybe there is some cause for an intervention.
To be fair, I think most young guys go through a 'nice guy' phase and most of us grow out of it on our own.
Well yeah, you are right, Its nothing but a phase.
But this dude, between getting obese by obsessively eating and smoking like a train, plus this way of dealing with women,all at a a young age is worrying :/.
Guess I'll do my part (not much), but Its his own way of life.
Idk what a redpiller is tho, sounds very reddit'esque
But this dude, between getting obese by obsessively eating and smoking like a train, plus this way of dealing with women,all at a a young age is worrying :/.
Guess I'll do my part (not much), but Its his own way of life.
Idk what a redpiller is tho, sounds very reddit'esque
Redpillers are like the anti-nice guys. In a nutshell, they think that women use beta men for money and emotional support and that they go to 'alpha males' for sexual satisfaction. It's largely a reddit thing consisting of dudes with large chips in their shoulders blaming women for their shitty lives.
Idk how I missed this
Wow, thats certainly... something different. 😨
Meetup is how I got the courage to cold approach my last partner at an event (not related to the meetup). I have a great group in my city, and it really helped me to develop the ability to shake hands with new people and get to know them. If you think of your ability to socialize as a muscle that you build, it'll carry you a good way.
There's nothing like hanging out with a bunch of folks who you KNOW want to be approached and talked to. Really helped my confidence.
always crazy bacon
Banned
This is what I told you weeks ago, http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=236735217
She's not improved and your excusing the behaviour "usually she's OK, am I overreacting?" Etc. She's got trust issues, and you're not going to be able to make that work. "Now you write it it all seems so silly" it's not silly it's scary as fuck,she just admitted to stalking you online. She obviously hasn't found anything under the aliases you use so she thinks your using a different name she does not know about. She wants to search that too to "find proof".
You need to follow through and end things, this won't get better. Just becuse she's your first girlfriend does not mean it's going to be impossible to find another one that's normal.
She probably reads your posts here and this one too. Hi crazy girlfriend!
Subpar Scrub
Banned
I'll take this on board. I've made an effort to say hi to new people I meet at parties, events etc. but I'm still not doing it enough tbh.
Depends how good the sex is.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
In my experience, anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months. Depends on the person, how often you see them, how long it takes for the crazy to surface etc.
Absolutely incredible
Then the honeymoon phase of the relationship will last longer, hard to argue and pick at each other's flaws when you are banging the hell out of each other.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Depends how many people you are seeing, it lasts longer when you are just with one girl but probably generally 2 months.
Messofanego
Banned
So true.
JadedWriter
Member
Why is it that I'm an actual functional human being in a bar of all places at a speed roommate event but I socially collapse in all things dating?
Like speed dating for roommates ? 🤔
Maybe more functional because presumably aren't trying to fuck them (yet).
Megalosaro
Banned
Because you're like me. You overthink.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Surely talking to women in bars and speed roommating are where you should be meeting women then. No?
JadedWriter
Member
I think if I had wanted to I could have gotten this Kenyan chicks number.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I mean, you just pinpointed it. You didn't want to, so therefore you didn't care (or overthink things) and didn't trigger your self-made hurdles.
It's basically the same phenomenon people experience when they're in relationships or not looking -- but they attract more people anyway.
JadedWriter
Member
How do I learn how to consistently charismatically not give a shit?
Jzero
Member
Forreal, watching Master of None just reminds me how much I hate modern dating culture.
Anyway i downloaded Bumble and it's shit, all i see is model looking white girls that all look the same.
Back to OKC for me since there's more substance to people's profiles.
There really is nothing better for me than meeting people at concerts and feeling their vibes without all the awkward small talk.
Messofanego
Banned
Megalosaro could do with some speed roommating.
timetokill
Banned
Oh shit, I need a roommate soon, I didn't know speed roommate meeting was a thing!
always crazy bacon
Banned
Understand your underlying motivations for each of your individual interactions with women and realise that what you want is why your so bad at them.
JadedWriter
Member
Does "I want to fall in love" morally conflict with "I want sex/affection/intimacy"? Because I intensely want both things and I can't really get behind the concept of sex with women I don't care about cause I'm honestly not even sure I'm close to being wired that way.
Your wording made it sound a bit weirder than what it was
We answer the first question a lot--it's different for everyone. Mega's story was just weird so answering that got a little thrown to the wayside.
The second one others answered better than me lol
Why do you intensely want to fall in love? What's your heartfelt reason for that?
JadedWriter
Member
If not love at least a relationship that isn't solely based on sex, if this even makes sense.
That could just be who you are. Hookups aren't for everybody, and everybody has their own pace for both emotional and physical escalation (just like the first-date kissing question on the previous pages). Just date widely, meet people, and be yourself (but also do take some initiative in trying to build chemistry.\
Most/few aren't. It may only look like that from afar, but there's usually underlying chemistry.
You'll never really know what a relationship is until you go for it.
JadedWriter
Member
Yeah I have touch problems that I'm sure are due to upbringing, which I have gotten a lot better with, but I don't know if I'm ever going to hit "fucking on first date" levels of touch comfort. Sometimes I feel like an adult with the understanding of a teenager when it comes to these things.
Eh, you never know. I've fucked on the first date before, while also being one to generally escalate slowly in terms of touching/kissing when out in public, which has definitely stymied some potential relationships recently.
Different people, different paces, different relationship trajectories. Date more and you'll learn more about yourself and what you want, and more importantly how you react and date in different states of chemistry and closeness.
It's awesome to live alone, but some people are definitely better off with roommates if they aren't good at fostering new social connections and networks when switching cities/jobs, etc. I suspect a lot of GAF is in that boat.
JadedWriter
Member
Up until 3 years ago I really didn't like being touched by random people or even people I know such as coworkers. Hell depending on my mood I don't like being touched by anybody. I actually snapped at my roommates BF the day of my last date cause he attempted to hug me and I was not in the mood to deal with the whole physical sensation of the whole thing, there are times when it just makes me uncomfortable.
If I could afford to I'd live by myself since I want to fire my roommates out of a fucking canon.
This is true. I just prefer it, even if I was switching cities or jobs haha. I couldn't live with others anymore long term.
The eyebrow-raising thing here is the "intensely" part. You want love and sex, cool beans, we all want that (except maybe the sex part for some). You don't do one night stands or fuck randomly, that's cool too. But to want something "intensely" is too close to wanting something "desperately", and we all know how that goes.
How cool are you with being single?
JadedWriter
Member
I should weather my emotions better, that and picks my words better. I'm a bit tired of being single to be honestly. I can function, ugh it's a little draining. It's like I'm back in my early 20's again.
Date was a worthwhile experience, scouted a new location in Arlington VA that was an ideal setup for first dates. Girl was interesting but yeah, outside my physical attraction zone (cute face has a lot of weight with me, for me it can overrule slight heaviness, without it even a hot body loses its luster), and she didn't seem to share that many mutual interests with me, although it was pretty close (we talked at length about international travel, and she held conversation well).
Just good practice to get back into the game, though i still need to figure out how to accelerate the rate at which i'm getting these dates. My OKC method just isn't cutting it, maybe i should finally bite the bullet and try Tinder, though i still worry about my photos.
Just good practice to get back into the game, though i still need to figure out how to accelerate the rate at which i'm getting these dates. My OKC method just isn't cutting it, maybe i should finally bite the bullet and try Tinder, though i still worry about my photos.
ZackieChan
Member
It would make me crazy to have roommates. Aside from significant others, I've only ever had one (he was cool), but it's still more hassle than it's worth.
✌️✌️✌️
Yep haha. Had a couple in university, and they were perfectly fine, but living on your own is waaaaaaaaay better.
JadedWriter
Member
Just wait till you walk into the bathroom in the morning with your eyes closed cause you get migraines take a shit, wipe your ass and then find out you have no toilet paper and nobody either looked in the closet or gave a crap to replace it period.
timetokill
Banned
I'd totally prefer to not have a roommate, and I could technically swing it, but living in a two-bedroom house by myself while having to pay so much in loans is just not practical
I'm kind of hoping I can live with a girl again because I tend to get along better with them in rooming situations, but most women are understandably wary of those arrangements
I'm kind of hoping I can live with a girl again because I tend to get along better with them in rooming situations, but most women are understandably wary of those arrangements
ha haa
hahahahaha
(((( I need the housing market to crashThough I wouldn't mind living with roommates right now. Would love to meet new people.
I want to be done with roommates but to be honest that might not be socially smart - having people around even passively feels kind of healthy for me and yeah, being in a new city without connections is kind of a mess. But enh, at least I'm actively thinking about putting myself out there right now.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Where in Arlington?
I need Arlington date ideas; will trade D.C. spots for them.
Then again, I'm possibly taking the train up to Balitmore this weekend for crabs and Pizzagirl, so who knows. I'd rather go to Baltimore than fucking Alexandria.
JadedWriter
Member
You might want to reread my horror story at the top of the page, it's happened more than once.ha haa
hahahahaha
Though I wouldn't mind living with roommates right now. Would love to meet new people.
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