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[WolfeTone]

I hate dating because it feels like I'm interviewing for my own future and thus justifying every stupid lie I tell myself or others in the process. I rather just hang out and do whatever we like while the relationship grows more organically.

Just hanging out and doing whatever you like is dating. You like hanging out at the park, bring someone you're attracted to and that's a date. You like eating dessert, bring someone you like to get gelato and that's a date.

Also why are you lying on dates?

...Which is what I do. Jesus, not everyone posting in this thread needs a hot fix, people.

Ah okay, just saw this. Bit weird to add this comment after your first, but if you know what you're doing, then it's all good.

 

[Megalosaro]

While I love Sandile, it's kind of an obscure Pokemon. Will the niece know Sandile? I'm sure any gift will go down well though

Your girlfriend's family's only concern should be that you make their sister happy. Making the niece happy will only make them like you more.

Sandile is a mother fucking BALLAR.


https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41ffbJuBnEL._SX300_.jpg

I kind of want it for myself.

 

[WolfeTone]

Sandile is a mother fucking BALLAR.


https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41ffbJuBnEL._SX300_.jpg

I kind of want it for myself.

I'd date you if you got me that. Don't even try calling me your Ravenclaw though.

 

[Attack You]

Just hanging out and doing whatever you like is dating. You like hanging out at the park, bring someone you're attracted to and that's a date. You like eating dessert, bring someone you like to get gelato and that's a date.

Also why are you lying on dates?

I guess I should say I don't like "traditional" dating? There's an impetus to discover long-term goals and plans when scoping out a life partner that pushes those "interview questions" to the forefront of most dates, and I don't care for those.

I'm not necessarily lying so much as I feel I give sub-satisfactory answers just to keep the conversation from dropping dead. Like, do I want kids? Yes? No? Maybe? "Depends where we are in two to five years" is too flimsy for some and too heavy for others.

 

[WolfeTone]

I guess I should say I don't like "traditional" dating? There's an impetus to discover long-term goals and plans when scoping out a life partner that pushes those "interview questions" to the forefront of most dates, and I don't care for those.

I'm not necessarily lying so much as I feel I give sub-satisfactory answers just to keep the conversation from dropping dead. Like, do I want kids? Yes? No? Maybe? "Depends where we are in two to five years" is too flimsy for some and too heavy for others.

Hmm I wouldn't necessarily call that ''traditional'' dating, more like ''serious'' dating. I get what you mean though. I don't usually get involved in those kinds of conversations on first dates. I wouldn't start assessing anyone for life partner traits until way in.

 

[Megalosaro]

I don't think I've ever talked about serious stuff on a first date. I keep it to fun topics like interests, hobbies and what not. I don't even like bringing up jobs.

 

[Jhoan]

I'm meeting her sister's family tomorrow. We are seeing Rogue One at an outdoor screening.

A little nervous. I've been in three relationships. My first one's family didn't like me, because I wasn't religious. I never met 2's family.

The neice likes pokemon a lot. Would it be weird to give a Sandile plush?

You just triggered the gaiages alarm because she collects Pokemon plushies. Eevielution line or bust. Or if you're feeling mighty generous, a giant Snorlax plushie. Although Munchlax would suffice. The Sandile one looks pretty cool.

Also, I hate talking about jobs on dates myself because it's boring stuff; describing how I set a bunch of chairs and had to stack them for my graduation gig isn't exactly fun. Especially if the other person is coming out of work because the last thing they want to talk about is more work.

 

[JadedWriter]

Your posts do make me chuckle occasionally. You're not doing too bad. We're here for you Jaded. GAF's best support group.

Dude I'm texting a woman that I can't see till she's done recovering from a car accident...

 

[ZackieChan]

.

On topic: How do you buy nice dress shoes without feeling like you're 65? All of the brown/tan/whatever dress shoes I see around always remind me of old people shoes. The only 2 pairs of formal shoes I currently own are both black and really only work with a suit, but I'm not about to rock up to a fancy dinner in red x_plr's or fable navy Vans.

And yeah I read the guides in the OP, they've been a really big help!

I bought these - https://www.jcrew.com/th/mens_category/shoes/boots/PRDOVR~G1990/G1990.jsp
Really like them. A nice casual-business mix.

This is why I've cut off contact with her for the time. I'm still bitter and I'm still figuring out my feelings. All I know is that she at least sees me as a friend. Maybe she has romantic or sexual feelings for me or did at some point. That's irrelevant right now, because she told me she was happy with her current relationship. Speaking as a potential partner, I'd rather she be with me, and I suspect that that could have very well happened, but speaking as a friend and as someone trying to be rational, I have no business judging her relationship and speculating about what could have been.

1) you should read Models by Mark Manson
2) you should upgrade that bed
3) what can we do to get you a job? What's your field?

Maybe I should stop acting like a eunuch during my dates...

You need to be a confident, sexual being who is comfortable with the fact that you want a romantic relationship. Don't be ashamed. You should read Models too, I guess.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

I think the only thing that bothered me when I was dating was... does this person have a job? Yes/No. If no, are they in school? Yes/No. If both were no I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole, too many bad romantic and family situations with unemployed people to give them a shot lol

Like they could be working at McDonalds for all I care, provided they have, like, a plan in life or something.

Yeah, I'm at class for 2 days per week and still manage to pull around 35 hours per week at work. I'm not too worried about seeming like I'm directionless, just annoying having a family of 6 to live with if I wanted much privacy and stuff haha. I guess it would be worse if I were older though.

I bought these - https://www.jcrew.com/th/mens_category/shoes/boots/PRDOVR~G1990/G1990.jsp
Really like them. A nice casual-business mix.

I can't access the link for whatever reason haha

Edit; okay it's working now. Not going to lie, I don't really like those haha. Also they work out to nearly 300 bucks where I live.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Not really seeing it, sorry. He might have waited too long to make his move (and paid for it), but he's not ranting about how nice he was and how he's been shafted etc etc

Just seems confused more than anything.

Its definetly there, his opener was "getting over my friends relationship". Hes over invested and looks at the length of the friendship as an investment. Also reads like hes waiting for his "turn" to date her.

 

[JadedWriter]

Its definetly there, his opener was "getting over my friends relationship". Hes over invested and looks at the length of the friendship as an investment. Also reads like hes waiting for his "turn" to date her.

Those turns never come. Did that shit for years with one woman, waste of my damn time.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Dude I'm texting a woman that I can't see till she's done recovering from a car accident...

Here we go again! You're going to over text and overinvest in this woman. When all you need to do is ask her to let you know when shes recovered so you can arrange a date with her.

Then forget her and look for women you can date now.

 

[JadedWriter]

Here we go again! You're going to over text and overinvest in this woman. When all you need to do is ask her to let you know when shes recovered so you can arrange a date with her.

Then forget her and look for women you can date now.

She said "a couple of weeks". I was actually trying to leave her the eff alone but she kept responding to my one text a day later. Trust me I wasn't trying to have long conversations this time. It just ended up happening. I'm also not trying to solo this woman. I just keep messaging women that don't want to respond back.

 

[Jzero]

Tell her in person you just thought she wouldn't be into a co-worker, then say you actually think she's incredibly attractive. Get that secret nasty on. Unless you're not actually into her.

No I'm not physically attracted to her at all which is unfortunate because we'd probably be a good match.

 

[Messofanego]

One of my coworkers is giving me the cold shoulder because I didn't swipe right on her on Bumble lmao

Wait, does that mean she's into you?

No I'm not physically attracted to her at all which is unfortunate because we'd probably be a good match.

Ah, ok. Probably best to just tell her you don't see her that way if you don't want the cold shoulder. Or whatever, stick to work and ignore her drama lol.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Im getting a lot of matches on Tinder but I am mostly ignoring people that message me and not really messaging anyone. Maybe I dont feel like dating anyone just yet.

I went to the beach yesterday to meet my buddies and my one buddy was there with a date with a girl I had just hooked up with the night before. I didnt say anything. Was awkward as fuck since everyone went out for drinks after.

 

[SmackDaddy]

I went to the beach yesterday to meet my buddies and my one buddy was there with a date with a girl I had just hooked up with the night before. I didnt say anything. Was awkward as fuck since everyone went out for drinks after.

How does that happen ? Is she a mutual friend ? What a weird scenerio lol

 

[Jzero]

I think I should just get a dog as a companion instead of trying to date 😂

 

[LookAtMeGo]

How does that happen ? Is she a mutual friend ? What a weird scenerio lol

I have no idea. I didnt ask how they met. She might have met him the night before when I met her at the bar and they exchanged numbers or something?. I dont talk about who I'm banging to my friends so he doesnt know we hooked up. I told her I wasnt going to say anything and she was happy about that.

I think I should just get a dog as a companion instead of trying to date 😂

I am thinking the same. I miss having a dog.






Edit:
I have a pack of Kamagra oral jelly I wanna try out. Anyone ever try it before? Kind of saving it incase I ever get the whiskey dick with a pretty lady.

 

[gaiages]

I do love some Pokemon plushies. Collecting is on hold though, I have no more room for them, as if I leave them too close to the ground they become cat toys lol (rip Shellos)

Its definetly there, his opener was "getting over my friends relationship". Hes over invested and looks at the length of the friendship as an investment. Also reads like hes waiting for his "turn" to date her.

Yeah, now that you mention it I can see it a little, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and think that he'll lean away from that after a day or two. Hopefully.

 

[JadedWriter]

The fuck is oral jelly?

 

[Llyranor]

Dude I'm texting a woman that I can't see till she's done recovering from a car accident...

She said "a couple of weeks". I was actually trying to leave her the eff alone but she kept responding to my one text a day later. Trust me I wasn't trying to have long conversations this time. It just ended up happening. I'm also not trying to solo this woman. I just keep messaging women that don't want to respond back.

Did you meet through a dating site? Why is she on there if she can't actually meet for "a couple of weeks"? This cynically sounds like someone wanting some attention to pass time while she is bored while waiting for recovery.

 

[timetokill]

I think I should just get a dog as a companion instead of trying to date 😂

Well if you get a dog it will probably get you more dates

 

[JadedWriter]

Did you meet through a dating site? Why is she on there if she can't actually meet for "a couple of weeks"? This cynically sounds like someone wanting some attention to pass time while she is bored while waiting for recovery.

Makes sense. Most likely why I'm not as over invested as I sound. I'm still messaging other women, I just have a knack for messaging POF scam accounts that ask me for my personal email and then drop off the damn site...or I fuck something up, whichever comes first. At least the conversations are coherent. I do get tired of getting replies from these scam accounts with busted up syntax patterns.

 

[Jzero]

Well if you get a dog it will probably get you more dates

I mean I have no problem at all getting dates. I just don't like the ritual of dating.

 

[always crazy bacon]

She said "a couple of weeks". I was actually trying to leave her the eff alone but she kept responding to my one text a day later. Trust me I wasn't trying to have long conversations this time. It just ended up happening. I'm also not trying to solo this woman. I just keep messaging women that don't want to respond back.

Exactly the same as you did just last week.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=238697049&postcount=13671

Do or do not, there is no try. And you say trying a hell of a lot.

Just cut her off with, "sorry I have some work/take a shower/going shopping/whatever" to do now, catch up with you later. It's easy.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

The fuck is oral jelly?

This stuff.

I guess you just squeeze that jelly pack in your mouth and it taste good and you are good to go all night. Basically viagra I guess.

 

[Starlightmuse]

I mean I have no problem at all getting dates. I just don't like the ritual of dating.

Try to see it not like you're going out in a date with a potential gf/bf and see it more like you're going out to have fun meeting a new person.

Seriously, just go and have fun, forget about everything else.

 

[JadedWriter]

Exactly the same as you did just last week.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=238697049&postcount=13671

Do or do not, there is no try. And you say trying a hell of a lot.

Just cut her off with, "sorry I have some work/take a shower/going shopping/whatever" to do now, catch up with you later. It's easy.

I guess I can just ghost her like I did to the last woman. Granted I over texted the last woman, which I don't feel I'm doing this time since I initiated far too much that time. But I guess over investing is just texting a rando too much period.

 

[always crazy bacon]

I guess I can just ghost her like I did to the last woman. Granted I over texted the last woman, which I don't feel I'm doing this time since I initiated far too much that time. But I guess over investing is just texting a rando too much period.

You don't need to ghost her, just stop looking for validation she still wants to go on a date with you while she recovers. Also, YOU ghosted the last woman? That's not how it went down and your post history confirms it.

 

[JadedWriter]

You don't need to ghost her, just stop looking for validation she still wants to go on a date with you while she recovers. Also, YOU ghosted the last woman? That's not how it went down and your post history confirms it.

She ghosted me or at least gave me the feeling that she wasn't interested in meeting up and felt uninterested in really talking to me and I went "fuck it I'm done." I probably could have eeked out a day or two of one message replies, but the damage was already blatantly apparent. And with the current one I should just not really reply anymore and just assume I'm not meeting her?

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

3) what can we do to get you a job? What's your field?

I'm a student right now, majoring in film. Not gonna be raking in that cash anytime soon.

 

[Krauser Kat]

going to a concert tonight for our second date. Shit is within walking distance of my house... nothing will probably happen but im looking forward to seeing her again. Our first date was great.

 

[Jzero]

going to a concert tonight for our second date. Shit is within walking distance of my house... nothing will probably happen but im looking forward to seeing her again. Our first date was great.

A concert date is like the best place to get something happening since there's plenty of opportunities to get physical (unless it's a seated concert)

 

[always crazy bacon]

She ghosted me or at least gave me the feeling that she wasn't interested in meeting up and felt uninterested in really talking to me and I went "fuck it I'm done." I probably could have eeked out a day or two of one message replies, but the damage was already blatantly apparent. And with the current one I should just not really reply anymore and just assume I'm not meeting her?

You have an amazing ability to completely miss the point.

Don't text her too much or not at all past, let me know when you feel better.

That's it, that's your best play to get a date with her. In the meantime keep looking for other dates.

If what you've been doing isn't working out for you (which it isn't) stop doing that and try something different.

 

[Krauser Kat]

A concert date is like the best place to get something happening since there's plenty of opportunities to get physical (unless it's a seated concert)

We also planned a date to go see Scott Pilgrim since its one of her favorite movies and mine when it plays next wednesday

 

[MogCakes]

Concerning interview dates, longterm goals etc, usually if your date jumps straight into that and makes sure to hit all the different life questions it's a red flag. You want there to be sone kind of rapport first before getting into that conversation. A lot of people have no idea what chemistry actually feels like.

 

[JadedWriter]

You have an amazing ability to completely miss the point.

Don't text her too much or not at all past, let me know when you feel better.

That's it, that's your best play to get a date with her. In the meantime keep looking for other dates.

If what you've been doing isn't working out for you (which it isn't) stop doing that and try something different.

I'm like Shinji Ikari dense, but I'll give this a try. I am looking for other women mind you, just doesn't always work out for me. I don't text her as much as I did the last woman. It's only about 1 text or 2 a day, which I guess is still too much. I guess when she responds again I'll have to craft a "Let's meet up to talk when you're better" text. Though that probably won't happen for a couple of weeks.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Concerning interview dates, longterm goals etc, usually if your date jumps straight into that and makes sure to hit all the different life questions it's a red flag. You want there to be sone kind of rapport first before getting into that conversation. A lot of people have no idea what chemistry actually feels like.

Yes, I'm seeing a lot of people posting if the have or don't have chemistry. As if it's some automatic thing they should have to avoid putting in the work. It's insane, you don't hear that about thier friends. My mate and I had awsome chemistry the moment we met, now we're BFF!

 

[Haloid1177]

I'm like Shinji Ikari dense, but I'll give this a try. I am looking for other women mind you, just doesn't always work out for me. I don't text her as much as I did the last woman. It's only about 1 text or 2 a day, which I guess is still too much. I guess when she responds again I'll have to craft a "Let's meet up to talk when you're better" text. Though that probably won't happen for a couple of weeks.

You need to chill with the texting period. It's getting you in more trouble than it's helping.

 

[always crazy bacon]

I'm like Shinji Ikari dense, but I'll give this a try. I am looking for other women mind you, just doesn't always work out for me. I don't text her as much as I did the last woman. It's only about 1 text or 2 a day, which I guess is still too much. I guess when she responds again I'll have to craft a "Let's meet up to talk when you're better" text. Though that probably won't happen for a couple of weeks.

Do exactly that, if she initiates conversation then respond but don't get too deep and cut it off at some point saying your busy with something. Don't alwaysbe available to her. A man that's busy has something going on in his life, even if that's an evening of Persona 5.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

We also planned a date to go see Scott Pilgrim since its one of her favorite movies and mine when it plays next wednesday

What's the opposite of a red flag?

Don't always be available to her. A man that's busy has something going on in his life, even if that's an evening of Persona 5.

This is true. I never really had the girls I message or date pursue me as much as when I wouldn't text back immediately or waited 3-5 days between messages. Even if I wanted to, I'd just turn off my phone and go hang with friends or something for the night.

 

[Prologue]

Make a decission and quick. How long is the ldr going to be?

In a long distance/long term relationship of 4 years. Met a girl in school that i can't seem to stop smiling around like a middle school boy. Only had a few conversations with her but she's some how bringing that out of me. Even my gf is more attractive, so I'm not sure whats going on.

Find out today she has a thing for me from a good friend of hers and she also felt something was there. Oh noes.

another 2 years, but she's 1.5 hours away by plane

 

[JadedWriter]

Do exactly that, if she initiates conversation then respond but don't get too deep and cut it off at some point saying your busy with something. Don't alwaysbe available to her. A man that's busy has something going on in his life, even if that's an evening of Persona 5.

Well she actually texted me as I was reading this. She said she's giving herself a week to get better, then she goes on vacation. I asked if we can have dinner or something before she goes on vacation. I guess if she talks around that I should just call it quits.
Edit: Hosting something for her cousin this weekend...then vacation...yeah...I think it's back burner time. I might reply to this shit two days from now.

 

[artsi]

Well she actually texted me as I was reading this. She said she's giving herself a week to get better, then she goes on vacation. I asked if we can have dinner or something before she goes on vacation. I guess if she talks around that I should just call it quits.
Edit: Hosting something for her cousin this weekend...then vacation...yeah...I think it's back burner time. I might reply to this shit two days from now.

Dude you don't need to delay replying to anything, just say "Alright, have a nice vacation!" and be done with it. Then get another date.

 

[JadedWriter]

Dude you don't need to delay replying to anything, just say "Alright, have a nice vacation!" and be done with it. Then get another date.

I did. Told her to have fun, not hurt herself and to let me know when she returns. Only thing is she always replies, which is kind of why I keep ending up talking to her. This isn't exactly me texting her out of the blue this time.

 

[gaiages]

I did. Told her to have fun, not hurt herself and to let me know when she returns. Only thing is she always replies, which is kind of why I keep ending up talking to her. This isn't exactly me texting her out of the blue this time.

You can not respond sometimes.

 

[JadedWriter]

You can not respond sometimes.

I should do this...sounds like a "power move."

 

[Peltz]

I should do this...sounds like a "power move."

If you're "using it" as a "power move," then you're thinking about it wrong. Just respond when you feel like it. Or don't when you don't. Don't get analytical about the "meaning" behind your own actions. Just be natural.