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[Baron von Loathsome]

Sorry if you've addressed this before, but why do you have to get over your friend's new relationship? What is there to get over?

I was just about ready to ask herself out myself when I learned that she started a new relationship. I had reason to believe she liked me, too.

It's a learning experience. I've missed out on possible relationships before, but never before this narrowly.

 

[WolfeTone]

I was just about ready to ask herself out myself when I learned that she started a new relationship. I had reason to believe she liked me, too.

It's a learning experience. I've missed out on possible relationships before, but never before this narrowly.

Ah I see. You have the right attitude about it when it comes to learning from the experience. If you like someone, ask them out sooner rather than later.

 

[Peltz]

I was just about ready to ask herself out myself when I learned that she started a new relationship. I had reason to believe she liked me, too.

It's a learning experience. I've missed out on possible relationships before, but never before this narrowly.

Uggh.... How long has it been? I'd just ask her out anyway if the circumstances were right.

I don't recommend trying to date a girl who has a bf. But if you go way back with her and there is history between you, it makes stealing her from some other dude a little less wrong.

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

Ah I see. You have the right attitude about it when it comes to learning from the experience. If you like someone, ask them out sooner rather than later.

Main reason I put it off was because her last relationship ended somewhat poorly and I figured she needed time before she was ready for a new one. Guess I waited too long. Hell, I'm starting to suspect that she wanted me as a rebound.

Uggh.... How long has it been? I'd just ask her out anyway if the circumstances were right.

I don't recommend trying to date a girl who has a bf. But if you go way back with her and there is history between you, it makes stealing her from some other dude a little less wrong.

I just found out about her being in a new relationship last week, and it couldn't have started more than a few weeks ago. I've only known her for a year and a half, but she seems to trust me.

 

[Prologue]

In a long distance/long term relationship of 4 years. Met a girl in school that i can't seem to stop smiling around like a middle school boy. Only had a few conversations with her but she's some how bringing that out of me. Even my gf is more attractive, so I'm not sure whats going on.

Find out today she has a thing for me from a good friend of hers and she also felt something was there. Oh noes.

 

[Megalosaro]

In a long distance/long term relationship of 4 years. Met a girl in school that i can't seem to stop smiling around like a middle school boy. Only had a few conversations with her but she's some how bringing that out of me. Even my gf is more attractive, so I'm not sure whats going on.

Find out today she has a thing for me from a good friend of hers and she also felt something was there. Oh noes.

Make a decission and quick. How long is the ldr going to be?

 

[Kyne]

I will say that I think I'm going to stay alone for a month because my mom and my brother bought their tickets and going to the DR for a month next month. I have the option of going because my mom would pay for the flight but then I think to myself: I get to have the apartment completely to myself. Free from my mom. For a month. Alone. Then I smile and think about the possibilities. I can cook pretty decently for myself (aside from beans which I've yet to attempt).

you're getting the place to yourself for a month and all you can think about is cooking beans??

 

[Peltz]

Main reason I put it off was because her last relationship ended somewhat poorly and I figured she needed time before she was ready for a new one. Guess I waited too long. Hell, I'm starting to suspect that she wanted me as a rebound.



I just found out about her being in a new relationship last week, and it couldn't have started more than a few weeks ago. I've only known her for a year and a half, but she seems to trust me.

Yo, that "but she seems to trust me" line is bullshit. Either ask her out or don't. But don't pretend to know what she's thinking if you haven't broached the subject.

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

Yo, that "but she seems to trust me" line is bullshit. Either ask her out or don't. But don't pretend to know what she's thinking if you haven't broached the subject.

I'm not talking romantically or sexually, just platonically.

Regardless, I don't believe in stealing away other people's partners. And she's known her current boyfriend a good deal longer than she's known me. I don't blame her for dating him, he is in through both effort and luck a much better position to be dating her.

 

[WolfeTone]

Main reason I put it off was because her last relationship ended somewhat poorly and I figured she needed time before she was ready for a new one. Guess I waited too long. Hell, I'm starting to suspect that she wanted me as a rebound.



I just found out about her being in a new relationship last week, and it couldn't have started more than a few weeks ago. I've only known her for a year and a half, but she seems to trust me.

Why do you suspect this? You seem fairly confident that you would be dating this girl if you had asked her out before this other guy. It seems strange when you say things like:

I'm not talking romantically or sexually, just platonically.

Regardless, I don't believe in stealing away other people's partners. And she's known her current boyfriend a good deal longer than she's known me. I don't blame her for dating him, he is in through both effort and luck a much better position to be dating her.

So you think she doesn't like you romantically or sexually, but she still wanted you as a rebound?

I don't know you, but some of your language here is a little odd. ''I don't blame her for dating him"? Sounds like you're saying she's making some big mistake and would be better off if she was with you.

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

Why do you suspect this? You seem fairly confident that you would be dating this girl if you had asked her out before this other guy. It seems strange when you say things like:



So you think she doesn't like you romantically or sexually, but she still wanted you as a rebound?

I don't know you, but some of your language here is a little odd. ''I don't blame her for dating him"? Sounds like you're saying she's making some big mistake and would be better off if she was with you.

This is why I've cut off contact with her for the time. I'm still bitter and I'm still figuring out my feelings. All I know is that she at least sees me as a friend. Maybe she has romantic or sexual feelings for me or did at some point. That's irrelevant right now, because she told me she was happy with her current relationship. Speaking as a potential partner, I'd rather she be with me, and I suspect that that could have very well happened, but speaking as a friend and as someone trying to be rational, I have no business judging her relationship and speculating about what could have been.

 

[WolfeTone]

This is why I've cut off contact with her for the time. I'm still bitter and I'm still figuring out my feelings. All I know is that she at least sees me as a friend. Maybe she has romantic or sexual feelings for me or did at some point. That's irrelevant right now, because she told me she was happy with her current relationship. Speaking as a potential partner, I'd rather she be with me, and I suspect that that could have very well happened, but speaking as a friend and as someone trying to be rational, I have no business judging her relationship and speculating about what could have been.

Yeah you're right to take a step away for a while. Best if you stop thinking of this girl in any kind of romantic way.

Move on. Get on tinder or ok cupid and meet new people. You'll be surprised at how quickly you can get over your crush if you find someone new.

Good luck.

 

[Peltz]

I genuinely don't understand how this happens. How do you end up as friends for a year with a girl you want to date? How do you not jut tell her you want her?

Girls appreciate honesty. Not fear.

 

[Haloid1177]

Being close friends with a married person in the office is apparently not a good look because people suck. Dumb.

 

[brawly]

I feel like my gym selfie does more harm than good in the dating apps. I wasn't swamped the first time around but it's particularly dire this time around. It's like I'm downright offensive to look at lol.

It's not shirtless btw. Just flexing the guns.

 

[artsi]

I genuinely don't understand how this happens. How do you end up as friends for a year with a girl you want to date? How do you not jut tell her you want her?

Girls appreciate honesty. Not fear.

Yeah dude. I might've been denied a kiss today, but at least she knows what I'm after and that's not a friendship.
Now she's been texting me like crazy this whole night and suggested what we should do for next date, so it wasn't the end of anything, it cleared shit up.

Just make a move when you got a chance. Nothing else matters.

I feel like my gym selfie does more harm than good in the dating apps. I wasn't swamped the first time around but it's particularly dire this time around. It's like I'm downright offensive to look at lol.

It's not shirtless btw. Just flexing the guns.

Don't flex man, just take a natural full body / upper body shot to show physique.
A lot of girls I've talked with say they're turned off by gym selfies.

 

[vitacola]

Had a nice conversation on Tinder going, but the moment I mentioned that I watched some football (aka soccer) this weekend, she went totally silent. Frankly I'm confused.

But I want to thank you, DatingGAF:
I opened the conversation with a joke about her black dog and she seemed to like it.

Well, I'm just moving forward. Still, I'm really puzzled about this situation.

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

Move on. Get on tinder or ok cupid and meet new people. You'll be surprised at how quickly you can get over your crush if you find someone new.

Good luck.

I'm jobless, at least until August, and I have trouble connecting with people, along with another major issue that would make dating a major pain. If I felt internet dating would help me right now, I'd go for it. In the meantime, I'm trying to distract myself with movies, video games, shopping, reorganizing my room, looking for a job, trying to figure out how to start working out, even reading for the first time in years. Just anything to pass the time before I feel I'm suitable for the larger dating world.

I genuinely don't understand how this happens. How do you end up as friends for a year with a girl you want to date? How do you not jut tell her you want her?

Girls appreciate honesty. Not fear.

I did tell her, about a year ago. She told me she had a boyfriend, I backed off on pursuing her romantically. I enjoyed her company and our conversations platonically for the next six months or so before the feelings started to come back. And now here we are. And I recently reiterated that I like her. Not much else I can do right now except to back off again.

 

[WolfeTone]

Had a nice conversation on Tinder going, but the moment I mentioned that I watched some football (aka soccer) this weekend, she went totally silent. Frankly I'm confused.

But I want to thank you, DatingGAF:
I opened the conversation with a joke about her black dog and she seemed to like it.

Well, I'm just moving forward. Still, I'm really puzzled about this situation.

Glad to hear the joke went down well. What exactly was the last text you sent to her?

Why were you talking about football instead of asking her out? I find it's best to ask people out rather than getting drawn into conversations of the "how's your day going/how's your weekend" variety.

 

[JadedWriter]

Yeah dude. I might've been denied a kiss today, but at least she knows what I'm after and that's not a friendship.
Now she's been texting me like crazy this whole night and suggested what we should do for next date, so it wasn't the end of anything, it cleared shit up.

Just make a move when you got a chance. Nothing else matters.

Maybe I should stop acting like a eunuch during my dates...

 

[Jhoan]

you're getting the place to yourself for a month and all you can think about is cooking beans??

Hahaha, that is part of a balanced Hispanic diet. Beans, beans, the magic fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot. But definitely not the only I'm thinking of. I want to see if can borrow a friend's cat for a week to take out the annoying mouse scurrying around. My brother is getting fed up by them but hasn't done anything; my mom is allergic to cats despite liking them. Being able to eat at the coffee table, throw out a few things my mom was attached to, move a few more things out, etc.

 

[WolfeTone]

Maybe I should stop acting like a eunuch during my dates...

Did you ever attempt to kiss that wife potential girl a few weeks back?

If you're attracted to someone, why wouldn't you try to kiss them? Always go for the kiss on the first date.

 

[vitacola]

Glad to hear the joke went down well. What exactly was the last text you sent to her?

Why were you talking about football instead of asking her out? I find it's best to ask people out rather than getting drawn into conversations of the "how's your day going/how's your weekend" variety.

Thanks again

Well, she asked me about the last weekend, so I answered what I did (watched football, went on a hike with frieds) and asked her about her weekend. Didn't seem wrong at the moment.

 

[brawly]

Don't flex man, just take a natural full body / upper body shot to show physique.
A lot of girls I've talked with say they're turned off by gym selfies.

Yeah I removed it. Hopefully not everyone that I liked went through my profile yet.

 

[JadedWriter]

Did you ever attempt to kiss that wife potential girl a few weeks back?

If you're attracted to someone, why wouldn't you try to kiss them. Always go for the kiss on the first date.

No I didn't. Went a bit crazy actually trying not to touch her, felt weird.

 

[WolfeTone]

Thanks again

Well, she asked me about the last weekend, so I answered what I did (watched football, went on a hike with frieds) and asked her about her weekend. Didn't seem wrong at the moment.

Maybe she just got distracted or bored. It happens. Try again next time. Ask them out within 6 messages.

 

[Peltz]

Did you ever attempt to kiss that wife potential girl a few weeks back?

If you're attracted to someone, why wouldn't you try to kiss them? Always go for the kiss on the first date.

Agreed. I always go for it if I want to.

 

[vitacola]

Maybe she just got distracted or bored. It happens. Try again next time. Ask them out within 6 messages.

Yeah, next time.
Still confused because she answered almost immediately everytime after I sent a message her way and she was the one asking. But hey, it's just Tinder anyway...

 

[WolfeTone]

Yeah, next time.
Still confused because she answered almost immediately everytime after I sent a message her way and she was the one asking. But hey, it's just Tinder anyway...

How many messages had you exchanged?

 

[Monkeyball]

I'm not talking romantically or sexually, just platonically.

Regardless, I don't believe in stealing away other people's partners. And she's known her current boyfriend a good deal longer than she's known me. I don't blame her for dating him, he is in through both effort and luck a much better position to be dating her.

I'm getting strong nice guy vibes.

 

[Jzero]

One of my coworkers is giving me the cold shoulder because I didn't swipe right on her on Bumble lmao

 

[GrizzNKev]

Seeing this thread at the top of OT so often sucks because it keeps reminding me of my recent breakup.

 

[MogCakes]

One of my coworkers is giving me the cold shoulder because I didn't swipe right on her on Bumble lmao

Tell her in person you just thought she wouldn't be into a co-worker, then say you actually think she's incredibly attractive. Get that secret nasty on. Unless you're not actually into her.

 

[JadedWriter]

Seeing this thread at the top of OT so often sucks because it keeps reminding me of my recent breakup.

You will eventually get over it. The grind of dating sucks though.

 

[WolfeTone]

There are always two types of people in the Dating Age OT:

(i) Those who hate the so called 'grind of dating' and find the process draining;

and,

(ii) Those who love going on tons of dates.

It seems the two groups have difficulty understanding one another. As someone who's been solidly in group (ii) for 4 years with no intention of settling down, I can't imagine what hating dating must be like. I feel like if you're not having fun while dating, you're doing it wrong.

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

I'm getting strong nice guy vibes.

I don't want to turn this thread into PsychiatryGAF, so I'll just say that my relationship with the nice guy stereotype has long been a major insecurity of mine and leave it at that.

 

[JadedWriter]

There are always two types of people in the Dating Age OT:

(i) Those who hate the so called 'grind of dating' and find the process draining;

and,

(ii) Those who love going on tons of dates.

It seems the two groups have difficulty understanding one another. As someone who's been solidly in group (ii) for 4 years with no intention of settling down, I can't imagine what hating dating must be like. I feel like if you're not having fun while dating, you're doing it wrong.

Have you read my posts? The answer is obvious. I'm trying to improve though. Though there is a stupid situation I've left out of this thread so far. I have no idea if it'll even turn into anything.

 

[vitacola]

How many messages had you exchanged?

5 vice versa.

 

[Ledbetter]

Did you ever attempt to kiss that wife potential girl a few weeks back?

If you're attracted to someone, why wouldn't you try to kiss them? Always go for the kiss on the first date.

I have a really hard time doing this honestly. I become too self-aware whenever I try to do something physical (like playful touching and such) and I keep thinking that I should not give a fuck about it, but I just can't.

It is something I really need to improve.

 

[WolfeTone]

Have you read my posts? The answer is obvious. I'm trying to improve though. Though there is a stupid situation I've left out of this thread so far. I have no idea if it'll even turn into anything.

Of course I've read your posts.

Mine wasn't directed at you specifically, it was just more of a general observation. Those that don't enjoy dating tend to overthink things and worry so much that it becomes impossible to enjoy dating for what it is, meeting people you're attracted to for fun activities.

5 vice versa.

Sounds like she just had other things on your mind, but 5 messages is about the time you should be asking for a date. You could send her a follow up message asking her out at a specific time and place, nothing to lose now.

I have a really hard time doing this honestly. I become too self-aware whenever I try to do something physical (like playful touching and such) and I keep thinking that I should not give a fuck about it, but I just can't.

It is something I really need to improve.

Like anything, it becomes easier with practice. It can be a little awkward, especially if the person you're kissing reacts in an odd way, but if there's mutual attraction, why wouldn't you be kissing.

 

[JadedWriter]

Of course I've read your posts.

Mine wasn't directed at you specifically, it was just more of a general observation. Those that don't enjoy dating tend to overthink things and worry so much that it becomes impossible to enjoy dating for what it is, meeting people you're attracted to for fun activities.

I know. Was joking more than anything else. Does seem like I'm not the only one with the massive over thinking problem.

 

[WolfeTone]

I know. Was joking more than anything else. Does seem like I'm not the only one with the massive over thinking problem.

Your posts do make me chuckle occasionally. You're not doing too bad. We're here for you Jaded. GAF's best support group.

 

[Monkeyball]

I don't want to turn this thread into PsychiatryGAF, so I'll just say that my relationship with the nice guy stereotype has long been a major insecurity of mine and leave it at that.

Just stop thinking friendship is a great way to get into a relationship with a girl and you are fine.

 

[gaiages]

I'm getting strong nice guy vibes.

Not really seeing it, sorry. He might have waited too long to make his move (and paid for it), but he's not ranting about how nice he was and how he's been shafted etc etc

Just seems confused more than anything.

 

[Attack You]

There are always two types of people in the Dating Age OT:

(i) Those who hate the so called 'grind of dating' and find the process draining;

and,

(ii) Those who love going on tons of dates.

It seems the two groups have difficulty understanding one another. As someone who's been solidly in group (ii) for 4 years with no intention of settling down, I can't imagine what hating dating must be like. I feel like if you're not having fun while dating, you're doing it wrong.

I hate dating because it feels like I'm interviewing for my own future and thus justifying every stupid lie I tell myself or others in the process. I rather just hang out and do whatever we like while the relationship grows more organically.

 

[Megalosaro]

I'm meeting her sister's family tomorrow. We are seeing Rogue One at an outdoor screening.

A little nervous. I've been in three relationships. My first one's family didn't like me, because I wasn't religious. I never met 2's family.

The neice likes pokemon a lot. Would it be weird to give a Sandile plush?

 

[WolfeTone]

I'm meeting her sister's family tomorrow. We are seeing Rogue One at an outdoor screening.

A little nervous. I've been in three relationships. My first one's family didn't like me, because I wasn't religious. I never met 2's family.

The neice likes pokemon a lot. Would it be weird to give a Sandile plush?

While I love Sandile, it's kind of an obscure Pokemon. Will the niece know Sandile? I'm sure any gift will go down well though

Your girlfriend's family's only concern should be that you make their sister happy. Making the niece happy will only make them like you more.

 

[PancakeBurglar]

I hate dating because it feels like I'm interviewing for my own future and thus justifying every stupid lie I tell myself or others in the process. I rather just hang out and do whatever we like while the relationship grows more organically.

Then stop going on interview like dates and plan dates where you just go out and have fun, you don't need to go on dates where you just sit across the table and ask each other questions for an hour or 2.

 

[Attack You]

Then stop going on interview like dates and plan dates where you just go out and have fun, you don't need to go on dates where you just sit across the table and ask each other questions for an hour or 2.

...Which is what I do. Jesus, not everyone posting in this thread needs a hot fix, people.

 

[PancakeBurglar]

...Which is what I do. Jesus, not everyone posting in this thread needs a hot fix, people.

Then good for you, in your other posted you said you didn't like dating so I assumed you were going on dates you didn't enjoy.